A/N: Yeah, I'm sorry about the wait, but I had friends over for a few days and I couldn't write then. Also, I was biking with them and I was going down a hill and I, ah, I wiped out. So, now I have a concussion, fractured ribs, a sprained abdominal muscle (I dunno how I did that), and a hurt knee, I also broke my 200-dollar and some glasses, my mum wasn't pleased. My friend Taylor wiped out right after I did (she was on my step-brother's bike, it doesn't have brakes); the upside is that she wasn't hurt. Well, I spoke to her later and she said she was okay. So, my only advice is never to trust bikes. Or toads, for that matter, they'll curse you (long story). Anyway, hope you enjoy!

WARNING - DEATHLY HALLOWS SPOILERS AT THE END OF CHAPTER

- while the spoilers aren't incredible (i.e. they don't get into details). It has to do with one (yes, one) character's death, so, if you don't wanna know, don't read it.

Killed By Voldemort Chat Room

oldmugglecaretaker has joined the chat.

cedcedthedigdigboy has joined the chat.

oldmugglecaretaker: Hey, where's my tea?

cedcedthedigdigboy: Er... your tea? What tea?

oldmugglecaretaker: My tea! I was making it... and then there was green light... then there was no tea... :(

cedcedthedigdigboy: Ah, sounds like you got knocked off.

oldmugglecaretaker: Y'mean I'm... dead?

cedcedthedigdigboy: Yeah, basically.

oldmugglecaretaker: Oh. That explains the clouds and the... harps... shudders

cedcedthedigdigboy: Don't you like harps?

oldmugglecaretaker: Not since I was a boy...

cedcedthedigdigboy: What happened?

oldmugglecaretaker: Long story.

cedcedthedigdigboy: What else am I doing?

oldmugglecaretaker: Alright then. You see, when I was but a wee lad, my da was caretaker of the Riddle house before me. And, one day, he was tending to the garden when the owner threw a harp out the window.

cedcedthedigdigboy: Why did they do that?

oldmugglecaretaker: I dunno! Listen, d'you want me to continue, or would you prefer to continue asking idiotic questions?

cedcedthedigdigboy: Please, continue.

oldmugglecaretaker: Alright then, anyway, the harp suddenly grew a mouth and teeth.

cedcedthedigdigboy: Oooh, I sense a good story.

oldmugglecaretaker: It grew mouth and teeth, and it ate him.

cedcedthedigdigboy: It ate him?!

oldmugglecaretaker: Yeah.

cedcedthedigdigboy: How did it grow teeth after being thrown out a window?

oldmugglecaretaker: How the blaze am I supposed to know that? It happened, I accepted it, end of story.

cedcedthedigdigboy: Oh.

oldmugglecaretaker: Now, I have a question for you.

cedcedthedigdigboy: Hmmm?

oldmugglecaretaker: If I'm in heaven, where the blaze is the tea?!

cedcedthedigdigboy: Uh...

myrtlethemoooooaner has joined the chat.

cedcedthedigdigboy: Myrtle?

myrtlethemoooooaner: giggles Hi Cedric.

oldmugglecaretaker: Who's this then? Does she have my tea?

cedcedthedigdigboy: No, I'm afraid not.

oldmugglecaretaker: Ah well then. If anyone's listening, I'd not mind something a tad stronger, if you understand me.

myrtlethemoooooaner: I'm listening. giggles

oldmugglecaretaker: I'm afraid that that's not what I meant.

myrtlethemoooooaner: Of course it isn't! Who wants to talk to miserable, moaning, moping Myrtle! hides in toilet

myrtlethemoooooaner has left the chat.

oldmugglecaretaker: Uh... what's wrong with her, sonny?

cedcedthedigdigboy: No one knows. She lives in a U-bend.

oldmugglecaretaker: She lives in a toilet?

cedcedthedigdigboy: Yup.

oldmugglecaretaker: How does she fit in there then? You must be pulling my leg.

cedcedthedigdigboy: I assure you, I am not tugging on any of your limbs.

oldmugglecaretaker: That still doesn't explain how she could fit in a toilet.

cedcedthedigdigboy: Well, she's a ghost,

oldmugglecaretaker: scoffs Ghosts aren't real, they belong in fairy tales with witches and wizards.

cedcedthedigdigboy: ...

oldmugglecaretaker: What?

cedcedthedigdigboy: Has no one told you how you died?

oldmugglecaretaker: No.

cedcedthedigdigboy: You were killed by a wuzard.

oldmugglecaretaker: What's a wuzard?

cedcedthedigdigboy: What are you talking about?

oldmugglecaretaker: You just wrote it! You wrote wuzard!

cedcedthedigdigboy: Oh. Oops, typo.

oldmugglecaretaker: What did you mean then?

cedcedthedigdigboy: I meant wizard.

oldmugglecaretaker: A wizard? Now I know you're pulling my leg.

cedcedthedigdigboy: I already told you, I'm not tugging on any of your limbs!

oldmugglecaretaker: I'm ignoring you now.

cedcedthedigdigboy: Wait... what?

oldmugglecaretaker: ignores

cedcedthedigdigboy: Hey, you can't do this! I only told you the truth!

oldmugglecaretaker: ignores

cedcedthedigdigboy: Fine then, two can play this game!

oldmugglecaretaker: ignores

cedcedthedigdigboy: ignores

oldmugglecaretaker: ignores

cedcedthedigdigboy: ignores

lilyflower has joined the chat.

lilyflower: Why are you two ignoring each other?

oldmugglecaretaker: Because this boy is spouting out nonsense!

cedcedthedigdigboy: He was ignoring me first!

lilyflower: What seems to be the trouble, then?

oldmugglecaretaker: He says that a wizard killed me! What nonsense!

lilyflower: Actually, due to the fact that you're in a 'Killed By Voldemort' chat room, then you must have been killed by a wizard.

oldmugglecaretaker: And what makes you think that?

lilyflower: Voldemort is a wizard.

oldmugglecaretaker: And he killed me?

lilyflower: Yup.

oldmugglecaretaker: Oh. Alright then.

cedcedthedigdigboy: What?! You won't believe me, but you'll believe... Uh, I'm afraid I didn't catch your name...?

lilyflower: Lily Potter.

cedcedthedigdigboy: Oh, nice to meet you. I knew your son.

lilyflower: Harry? How is he, dear?

cedcedthedigdigboy: Er, the last I remember we had been transported to a graveyard... then I died.

lilyflower: Oh, sorry about that.

cedcedthedigdigboy: It wasn't as bad as I thought it might be.

IAMPRONGSHEARMEROAR has joined the chat.

lilyflower: Love, you know I don't approve of that name.

IAMPRONGSHEARMEROAR: But, why?

lilyflower: Stags don't roar.

IAMPRONGSHEARMEROAR: So?

lilyflower: It's incorrect.

IAMPRONGSHEARMEROAR: So?

lilyflower: Lions roar, not stags. It's misleading.

IAMPRONGSHEARMEROAR: So?

lilyflower: I give up. You can be the one and only roaring stag.

IAMPRONGSHEARMEROAR: Yay!

oldmugglecaretaker: So now there are roaring stags? This had gotten much too odd, I'm leaving in search of tea.

oldmugglecaretaker has left the chat.

lilyflower: Anyway dear, this young man here says he knew Harry.

IAMPRONGSHEARMEROAR: Oh, did he? Does he take after his father?

cedcedthedigdigboy: How?

lilyflower: He means, does Harry cause trouble every 5 seconds?

IAMPRONGSHEARMEROAR: Hey! It was more like every 5 minutes!

lilyflower: Of course, dear.

IAMPRONGSHEARMEROAR: It was...

cedcedthedigdigboy: Er, he gets in trouble a lot.

lilyflower: Pity. I had hoped that he'd take after me.

IAMPRONGSHEARMEROAR: Ha! What does he do? Enchant Mrs. Norris blue? Hang Snivellus from his greasy hair?

lilyflower: Dear...

IAMPRONGSHEARMEROAR: Sorry Lilyflower.

cedcedthedigdigboy: Actually, no. Generally it's because he went off and saved someone else.

lilyflower: Someone else? I do hope that he isn't getting into too much trouble...

IAMPRONGSHEARMEROAR: If he's truly my son, then he'll be giving McGonagall hell.

lilyflower: How do you even know if Minerva still works there?

cedcedthedigdigboy: Professor McGonagall is still a teacher...

IAMPRONGSHEARMEROAR: Oh, excellent, does he give old Minnie hell?

cedcedthedigdigboy: Minnie?

IAMPRONGSHEARMEROAR: That's what Sirius and I called her. She hated it.

cedcedthedigdigboy: Even Gryffindors aren't that stupid! How did you remain, y'know, not dead?

lilyflower: He didn't.

cedcedthedigdigboy: I meant when he went to Hogwarts.

IAMPRONGSHEARMEROAR: We were fast runners.

cedcedthedigdigboy: Should we be glad that Harry didn't take after you in that aspect?

lilyflower: You should be. Very, very glad.

IAMPRONGSHEARMEROAR: Hey... I resent that...

lilyflower: You know I speak the truth.

IAMPRONGSHEARMEROAR: I know, but still...

lilyflower: James, love, dear?

IAMPRONGSHEARMEROAR: Yes, Lilyflower?

lilyflower: Suck it up.

IAMPRONGSHEARMEROAR: sad :(

halfbloodprince has joined the chat.

lilyflower: Severus?

cedcedthedigdigboy: Professor Snape?

IAMPRONGSHEARMEROAR: Snivellus.

cedcedthedigdigboy: Oh damn, it's Snape.

cedcedthedigdigboy has left the chat.

lilyflower: What happened, Severus?

IAMPRONGSHEARMEROAR: Come Lily, we're leaving.

IAMPRONGSHEARMEROAR has left the chat.

lilyflower: James'll come back in a second, come back tomorrow at 7 and I'll talk to you then.

IAMPRONGSHEARMEROAR has joined the chat.

IAMPRONGSHEARMEROAR: You haven't come yet, Lily! Stop talking to Snape and come! ... please?

lilyflower: Yes James, I'm coming.

IAMPRONGSHEARMEROAR: Good.

IAMPRONGSHEARMEROAR has left the chat.

lilyflower: Bye, Severus.

lilyflower has left the chat.

halfbloodprince: Of all the idiots... it has to be him...

halfbloodprince has left the chat.

A/N: Sorry about the chapter, but I have my laptop on my stomach and it really hurts, so I was in a hurry to write something and get it out to you. Also, people don't really have an alive/dead status in my story, as you could probably tell with Snape.

Thanks to Dragonflame-05 for giving me the killed by Voldemort idea!

I welcome ideas, please, tell me yours. You would be credited.