A/N: Just got back from Bring Your Kid To Work Day. I got to leave early cause my step-dad had to do actual work. I (literally) fell asleep sitting up when I was at work with him. So I had a juice box and listened to really loud Korn. Yep, my remedy for early morning tiredness.
I'm trying to spit as many chapters out for you as I can. I'm sorry for the utter stupidity of this chapter... I was in a stupid mood.
Oh, the chapter contains frequent mentions of alcohol. If you don't like alcohol, just skip the chapter. I'm not trying to be offensive, alcoholism isn't actually a funny matter.
Also, in no way does the title relate to the chapter... and it's a bad chapter... I'm so sorry...
Are You A Potato? Chat Room
i1can1see1ur1future1in1it1is1an1axe1murderer has joined the chat.
kittykittykittycat has joined the chat.
i1can1see1ur1future1in1it1is1an1axe1murderer: Im an potato.
kittykittykittycat: Have you been dipping into your Sherry again, Professor Trelawny?
i1can1see1ur1future1in1it1is1an1axe1murderer: Shery? I wood nevr.
kittykittykittycat: Are you quite sure Professor?
i1can1see1ur1future1in1it1is1an1axe1murderer: Pfft! 'corse Im shure!
kittykittykittycat: Because, you see, I hear Madame Rosmerta recently got in a new stock of Sherry.
i1can1see1ur1future1in1it1is1an1axe1murderer: I duno wat yuor talken bout. Ive nevr toched no sherry! Ar yuo shure yuo avent been tochin da sherry urself?
kittykittykittycat: I'm quite sure. But, I'm sure you know this, your record is against you Sybill.
i1can1see1ur1future1in1it1is1an1axe1murderer: Wat rekord? I tolded yuo! I nevr toched no shery!
icanfufillallyoururgesforbutterbeer has joined the chat.
kittykittykittychat: Madame Rosmerta! Please, tell me, have you recently sold Sybill any Sherry?
i1can1see1ur1future1in1it1is1an1axe1murderer: I dident toche the shery!
icanfufillallyoururgesforbutterbeer: No, she hasn't bought any recently.
i1can1see1ur1future1in1it1is1an1axe1murderer: Hha! I tolded ju! I didnet toche thew shery!
kittykittykittycat: Are you quite sure, Rosmerta?
icanfufillallyoururgesforbutterbeer: Well, she did buy a rather large supply a month ago.
i1can1see1ur1future1in1it1is1an1axe1murderer: LIAIR! I didnet toche no shery! Che lieing too yuo.
kittykittykittycat: Do you think it could have lasted this long?
i1can1see1ur1future1in1it1is1an1axe1murderer: Noooe cuse I didnet bye da shery ande I didnet toche it!
icanfufillallyoururgesforbutterbeer: Oh, it most definitely could have lasted this long. She bought a lot.
i1can1see1ur1future1in1it1is1an1axe1murderer: Yur a felthy liair! i didnet bye da shery!
kittykittykittycat: And why, exactly, did you sell her all of this? Knowing she was a schoolteacher?
icanfufillallyoururgesforbutterbeer: Because...
i1can1see1ur1future1in1it1is1an1axe1murderer: Becuse I dident! Donte ly!
kittykittykittycat: Because...?
icanfufillallyoururgesforbutterbeer: Sad to say, she and Hagrid are my biggest buyers. If I turned them down, I would go bankrupt!
i1can1see1ur1future1in1it1is1an1axe1murderer: I nver toched ur shery!
kittykittykittycat: Would you actually go bankrupt?
icanfufillallyoururgesforbutterbeer: Yes! Hagrid orders as much as five grown men do, and that's just with one drink!
i1can1see1ur1future1in1it1is1an1axe1murderer: Dat's Agrid. I wood nver toche it!
kittykittykittycat: And Sybill?
icanfufillallyoururgesforbutterbeer: She just buys a lot.
i1can1see1ur1future1in1it1is1an1axe1murderer: I donte bye noone!
kittykittykittycat: I see. Sybill, go to bed.
i1can1see1ur1future1in1it1is1an1axe1murderer: Donte wanna!
kittykittykittycat: Bed. Now. You need to sleep this off.
i1can1see1ur1future1in1it1is1an1axe1murderer: sleep wat offe? I nevr toched da shery!
i1can1see1ur1future1in1it1is1an1axe1murderer has left the chat.
kittykittykittycat: Rosmerta, you need to limit what she buys.
icanfufillallyoururgesforbutterbeer: Perhaps I do. But, Minerva, may I ask you a question?
kittykittykittycat: Alright...
icanfufillallyoururgesforbutterbeer: Why are you in the "I'm A Potato Chat Room," Minerva?
kittykittykittycat: I heard that Sybill had been drinking again. Why are you here, then? Same reason?
icanfufillallyoururgesforbutterbeer: Oh, no. I'm here because I'm A Potato.
kittykittykittycat: Oh.
kittykittykittycat has left the chat.
icanfufillallyoururgesforbutterbeer: Why do people always leave me when they find that out?!
i1can1see1ur1future1in1it1is1an1axe1murderer has joined the chat.
i1can1see1ur1future1in1it1is1an1axe1murderer: Ill nevr leve yuo, momi!
icanfufillallyoururgesforbutterbeer has left the chat.
i1can1see1ur1future1in1it1is1an1axe1murderer: Cum backe! I kneed yuo!
kittykittykittycat has joined the chat.
kittykittykittycat: Go to bed, Sybill.
i1can1see1ur1future1in1it1is1an1axe1murderer: Doe I haeve 2?
kittykittykittycat: Yes.
i1can1see1ur1future1in1it1is1an1axe1murderer has left the chat.
kittykittykittycat: Merlin... I need a drink...
A/N: Bleh... I got my report card...
Yes, it's that bad. My mother wants to put me in tutoring... because, apparently, even though I was above the average in all of my (academic) courses, it wasn't good enough. Tell me, is 80.3 percent average bad? Cause, my mom says she's "worried about me". Gah.
You have no idea how difficult it was not to go through this chapter and fix all the spelling mistakes. shudder
Oh, this chapter is dedicated to my friends, all of which passed (well, at least most did, like 3 didn't)! Yay for you, J! Got an 81 in French, you nerd. To F, you need to go to school, then you'll pass. cough 48 average cough