Thanks to fanfiction's latest updates, there is this new thing called "reader traffic." So now I can see how many hits my stories (yes, PLURAL now!! Another fanfiction called Fighting for You is now up and going!) have gotten. For this story, I have gotten 175 HITS and 60 from Canada. So, for everyone who has not been replying, I shall now shame you and guilt trip you into replying:

Think about how much time and effort I have put into this story. I write character outlines, outlines for each chapter; I went away on a 6 week trip ad STILL WROTE! I jumped for joy for every single review I got, although mostly from the same person reviewing multiple times.

For those of you have reviewed, I would like to take this moment to thank each and every one of you: arpeggi (thank you for reviewing multiple times, Edward luver 123 (thank you for reviewing multiple times),CraZe4twilite (thank you for reviewing multiple times), Forever Broken Black Heart, Alexandra Nicole Mason, studygirl17, Crazy Twilight Lover (thank you for reviewing multiple times), EB1326 (thank you for reviewing multiple times), somerandomtwilightfan, browneyes13 (thank you for reviewing multiple times), CourtneyFirehand (thank you for reviewing multiple times), Cuddlymuffin, Rachyruru, virgo101. I give you all of my love!!

And now this chapter is dedicated to the only reviewer who reviewed my last chapter: arpeggi. Thank you very much my dear!!

EPOV

I stood in her closet as her father walked in. His thoughts were full of grief and sorrow. But mostly concern for his daughter: My mother. Oh my mother! How many times did I joke with her that she would still be around when I am 92 years old to scold me for something! How I wish she were still here just to yell at me to learn how to cook! And worse, how can I tell my sweet daughter that the person she loves most in this world, the person she had seen alive and about only a few days ago, has left us forever?!

I have no idea why I was so greatly affected by Charlie's mother's death. I guess I could connect so well to how he was feeling when my mother, Elizabeth, had died from the sickness. His feelings were the same as mine when my mother passed away: abandoned, lost, confused, hurt, empty, etc. But I can imagine that dear, old Grandma Swan had lived her life to the fullest and died happily on her home in Martha's Vineyard. It is such a nice, open island. Ah, that was where I first found my love again.

My sweet Bella broke down into tears as soon as she heard her grandmother had passed away.

But she had no idea how lucky her grandmother was: to die, to forever sleep, to be in the paradise of Heaven. These are only things I have longed for all my existence. Of course, until I was reunited with Bella.

As I held my beautiful Bella, I whispered so softly in her ear how much better her grandmother is now. She could finally be free of all the stress and pressure in her life. She could now be blissful and carefree wherever she is. Ah, how I used to crave that.

But I am eternally damned to this world. I cannot even go to sleep and rest in my own unconsciousness. I cannot even dream! Bella's grandmother is sleeping peacefully for the rest of time and I shall still be here, walking around on the remains of this world, forever taking the burden of stress and problems into my own hands every day! Why must I be damned into needing the blood of others to survive? Why must I end another life to continue to exist?

And how I watched everyone I love die. My entire family died out before my eyes. Because I was no longer human and could not bear children, the entire Mason family ended the moment Carlisle's venom entered my body.

Although Bella will wish it, although she will beg, plead, yell, insist, and pray, I will never take her life in order to damn her to this, to becoming a vampire.

I shall never turn Bella into a vampire.

I shall never let her feel the burn of the venom in her body. She will never watch her family die before her eyes while she stood there with the power to save them. She will never feel the longing just to drift into sleep, into nothingness. She will never be the reason the Swan family ceased to exist. She will never feel the despair of not having a child, someone she could care for and look after for all her life. She will never witness the cruelty these humans have put to this world any longer than she should.

No. I can never do that to my Bella. She lay sleeping peacefully in my arms with wet cheeks still dipping with tears. I brushed my hand against her cheek and stole a tear away. And to cry. I tasted her tears and the saltiness lingered in my mouth.

How I wish I could just cry.

Here you go! A nice little short chapter of what is going through the-most-amazing-thing-that-has-happened-to-this-world's head. NOW REVIEW!