OMG, I know. Go read some of Stavi 's stories. The fact that she PMed me (I'm assuming she already reviewed) made me smile and want to work on this. Horrible, I know I am.

Life was a bitch. There was no yelling or screaming or hitting or any great make-up sex, it was just a bitch. And it for some unknown reason felt it needed to be that way most of the time. Was it fun? Or was it being paid like the people working late nights on holidays?

What ever the reason, the cause, Naruto had found out Nyra and Fang decided something.

Life needed a male dog.

Simple, sweet and maybe not so innocent when people find out they're dog's eggos were preggoed.

Naruto covered his face, a very red colored face, as he sat embarrassed on the couch, his legs pulled to his chest, his heart so nervous and feverishly beating that he almost feared it was going to stop or burst -which ever was more painful, and then buried his very, very red, hand covered face in his body cocoon.

Okay, let's tried to focus and stayed organized.

Naruto took a peek at Nyra and Fang sitting infront of him, not looking at him or at each other. They're faces were just as red as his was, both their hair and outfits a complete mess, frazzled from a complete state of desperation.

The bright side, Naruto thought, the bright side.

Oh, who was he kidding? The only bright side was he didn't need to give the insert the what into the what speech.

Okay, yeah, ninjas tended to reproduce early in life. They didn't know if their next mission would be their last. But Nyra and Fang weren't even training to be ninjas. Hey, the only time their lives were endangered was when Naruto was mad and it was their fault.

Right now, Naruto was way too embarassed to be mad.

"We-we're sorry," Nyra mumbled a bit desperately from far far away. "We---"

Naruto noted it was obvious they were in the same completely frazzled state he was in. That was hard to figure out, no, but Nyra also didn't know what to say even though she didn't always have something to say, she always knew.

Life was like a bunch of coconuts that floated upon a shore. Some sour and others sweet as you opened them and ate their meat.

Naruto had just taken a large sweet expecting bit into a sour coconut.

Setsuka and Renanoa walked in, each holding a teddy-bear and looking teary-eyed at Naruto.

"Narwootoh," Renanoa sniffled, "Tetsu an' the uhthers tied Sakoo and Duck-butt an' and fwoooo....."

Both the little munchkins in the doorway started to cry.

Naruto could deal with crying.

"You two," he said, his voice wobbly with total unsureness, "no more."

The two teens on the bed nodded.

Naruto turned to Renanoa and Setsuka, bawling their eyes out. "Alright, let's go save Saku and Duck-butt."

------

It was obvious Sasuke and Sakura were not happy jelly-beans at the moment. Tied to chairs then to each other the two watched the little kids prepare the sacrificial ceremony. Bringing necessary objects into the room, opening them, preparing them. Sasuke and Sakura were pigs on a roast.

Not cool.

At least, not for them as the little barbarians started to paint their faces pretty colors.

When Naruto saw this, he laughed really hard. Okay, so, yes, he did have to go change his underwear because he laughed so hard he pissed his pants.

Walking into the room a second time, Renanoa on one hip, Setsuka on the other, he still giggled a little at the horrified looks on the sacrifices faces. Not that he could see their eyes and or anything that well between the rainbow colors and the little hands that were busy making magic on their living canvas.

"Naruto, if you don't help us now, so help me God....." Sakura growled, wriggling a bit.

The kid on her lap held her face still. His lips puckered and he gave her a childish glare. "Don't move."

Naruto carefully put Setsuka and Renanoa down, removing his shirt from his well trained, developed body.

"Al'right, let 'em go and paint on me instead." He offered sitting down and opening his arms wide. "You can paint on me anywhere you're little painter hearts desire."

The tribe of The Little Painter Natives scrambled off the laps of their captives' laps and into a little group circle. There were quick, hushed whispers and nods and head shakes. Naruto melted at the cuteness.

The kid that was on Sakura's lap came forward, his chin up, dignified. He looked at Sasuke and Sakura and waved his hand. "Thewy're no wronger worfy of us. Untie dem."

The little kids excitedly untied the two and grabbed the paint sets, heading for their new victim canvas.

Sasuke and Sakura rubbed their arms where the rope had dug, watching in horror and pain as Naruto started to smiled, like some pedophile with a new treat, as the little Painter Natives attacked him with their finger paints of utter doom, destruction, and torture.

They both looked at Naruto with different eyes from that day on.

-----

Sasuke watched Naruto and some of the other boys rub the paint off his skin as they took showers tonight in this big bathroom with lots of toilet and shower stalls.

"Sasuke," Naruto whined, "Can you get this paint off my back? Ren-ren and the other tried and they can't scrub hard enough and Fang is still hiding from meeeeeeeeeeeeee."

Sasuke huffed, "Quit whining, Dobe. I'll do it."

Of course, he regretted it.

Sasuke gently took the towel from the small boy that handed it to him. The spot of black paint was right between his shoulder blades. Sasuke placed his one hand on Naruto's seductively slick shoulder, soft and smooth that made Sasuke want to rub his naked body against Naruto.

Sasuke felt he needed to stop thinking like that. Okay, yes, he liked Naruto, not hard to figure out. Now, how to reject him. That was what wasn't so easy to figure out.

He rubbed it, and rubbed, and rubbed.

"Ouch, Sasuke! I may be a ninja, but I'm still a being that feels pain, ease up."

Sasuke sighed, looking at the spot.

"It's a tattoo." He stated. A little black sun, something that looked like the henna art one the costumers they had in the past made.

"Eh?! I forgot I had it!" Naruto said reaching over his shoulder to feel it. His back arched a bit as he reached farther backwards, Sasuke noticed.

Sasuke also noticed, if he valued whatever was left of his self-moral, he better leave.

Okay.