Fenrir's Anthem
\ \ \ \
Dr. Akagi pulled the sheet back off the table, and looked away quickly, her only company to the grisly sight there staring down impassively at the remains arranged on the examination slate. "As you can see, it's as I stated in my report." Her voice wavered, as she tried not to look at the man that had stood as a mentor and steadying force throughout Nerv since she'd come to be aware of it.
"So. Someone has taken you out of the game, Sensei." Looking down at the severely mangled remains of Kozo Fuyutsuki, Gendo showed little of the inner turmoil he was experiencing. A professor and pioneer in the field of meta-biology, the man, though experienced and a brilliant mind, had always been a risk to keep near. His fondness for Yui aside, Gendo had always held reservations, but the one thing that Kozo had brought to the table that he himself found needful was his stability, and cool decision making.
It was also his wary counsel to the more conservative side of things that was necessary, as Gendo admitted. He knew well, even so far as to admit such to the old man that his goals sometimes need the tempering of wisdom beyond him, to take on their true forms. "What did this?"
Ritsuko pulled her attention off the tile on the floor that was so engaging, and took a steadying breath. Christ she needed a cigarette. "The... soft tissue damage is severe. Also, there are... missing portions that are just not accounted for. I don't really-"
"Doctor." The woman stalled, looking up as Gendo leveled his eyes away from his long-time associate to her. "I did not ask how. I asked what."
"Of – of course." Looking at her reports, she was glad of the opportunity to look away from the man's brutalized corpse. "Tests are inconclusive. Blood flow and tissues show he was alive when most damage was done, implying that either... it was quickly after his death that the animals that did this found him, or it was them that killed him."
His eyes behind the glassed blinked once. "Are you saying, Doctor, that there is the possibility that wild dogs killed the Sub-commander?"
She didn't miss the ice in his tone, but there was little she could say in counter. "What I'm saying, is what is there. No bullet, no sign of a gunshot in the tissue we have to examine. No sign of localized trauma at time of death – most of it happened very soon after. I don't see this as a humane killing. Using animals to cover the results of torture is not unheard of, but work of this caliber, and with the on site evidence, would be almost improbable to stage."
Gendo's brow furrowed, as he considered her words. "On site evidence?"
"Blood. His. Everywhere. If he were tortured, they would have needed to... keep it, to be transported. But that would not explain the specifics of pattern. Blood splatter analysis shows most of it to be from injuries, not artificial."
"Tell me Doctor, how many deaths recently have been reported from wild animal attacks?"
Sighing, she reached up and rubbed at the bridge of her nose slowly. She assumed he meant here, and in the last year. "Less than a dozen. Half that away from the coastal areas."
The Commander's eyes narrowed slightly. "And yet, here we have a rather extraordinary example."
Dr. Akagi had no answer for that. "The local police want to launch an investigation. How do you want to handle this?"
Considering the question for a moment, he turned and walked away from the scene on the table. "Let them have access to the scene, and dispose of the body. There is no need for them to have access to it," and with that, Gendo was beyond the room, the door closing behind him.
Ritsuko's mouth worked silently a moment before she slapped the clipboard and it's folder down on the adjacent table, heaving a sigh. "Dispose... I suppose we don't even get to see you in a memorial, Kozo." Her irritation apparent now that she had no one else to witness it, the Doctor pulled the folder to herself and walked out as well, pulling the door closed to the facility morgue.
\ \ \ \
Rei watched with muted interest as her companion for the meal ate with... enthusiasm. During school, and their brief association in Nerv, she'd seen him eat meals, but never before in such a manner. "It would be healthy to supplement your diet, with something other than meat, Ikari."
Looking up, the young man blinked, then looked down at his plate in quiet confusion. "Ah..." His steak was already all but eaten, a few scraps remaining. That on it's own wasn't cause for pause, but that his hands were the only things so fair soiled, his utensils clean and untouched, was. "I'm sorry!"
The woman across from him merely blinked once and shrugged slightly, a fractional lowering of a shoulder. "I do not mind. I would suggest you try the salad, it is rather tasteful." So saying, she took another small mouthful of the chopped vegetables, her eyes casting back to her meal.
Shinji was still in mild shock at his lack of manners. He'd registered that the food was brought out, remembered that it smelled... amazing, then he was looking up at Rei and her question. A nearly pound and a half steak, more meat than he ever ate in a sitting, and it was already all but gone. Even as he considered that, it occurred to him that his hunger was barely curbed. "What is going on," he murmured quietly, brows knit as he wiped slowly at his hands, acutely aware that there were likely those nearby watching him after his lack of manners. His blush was slow though, as where normally his embarrassment would be severe in such a position, he currently had too much on his mind, or nothing all apparently, to counter it.
"Ikari?" Her quiet question brought his attention back up, and he nodded for her to continue. "Are you feeling unwell?"
"No I'm... just." Looking about a moment he took a breath and let it out slowly. At least the fog that had seemed to addle his mind had cleared, since eating. "I'm just sorry about my lack of manners, and wondering why I'm still hungry, I guess."
Rei considered him a moment and turned her attention back to her meal. "Perhaps your diet has lacked protein."
Such a simple answer set him to laughing, but he nodded as well. "Perhaps."
"Will you still discuss with me what we were speaking of earlier?"
He found his appetite suddenly dimming. "Like I said Rei, this isn't the place for such a thing." When her expression didn't change, he took a stilling breath, "Alright. We'll... go to a park, or somewhere less public. I'll tell you what I can, but once that's done – no promises, alright."
Rei didn't know why he was being so evasive, but the fact it made him so, what he knew, didn't comfort her. She was well aware of the Commander's lack of tolerance to any disruption to his plans, but that his son had come upon some information regarding her part in it... Such information could be nothing but a disruption. It would also undoubtedly be dangerous to Shinji. It was her duty to find out what impact, and how far his knowledge went. "That is acceptable."
Their meal concluded without fanfare, and the two settled their bill and left, Shinji noting it was growing late. He'd not called Misato, and likely Asuka was irate about having to fend for herself... He'd sort such things out when he was home. Looking to his left, Rei was her usual self, moving quietly, without flourish. "Do you have a preference where to speak?"
"I do not. I assume that the Lt. Colonel's home would not be acceptable."
Laughing quietly, Shinji shook his head. "No, I don't think so. There's a park nearby. Will that do? I can walk you home after, since it's late," and I'd like to see how you react to what I have to say, he finished quietly.
It wasn't a long walk, but with their meal and the small fiasco, night was just falling when they sat, on either side of a bench. "So." Looking out over the park, he noted with some happiness that the fountain would make enough noise to stifle any simple surveillance, but he had no idea what methods Section-2 employed. "Will this be alright?"
As if sensing his worry, she moved halfway down the bench. "Here, it should be. Too loudly, and sound will carry."
"I see." With his nerves going in irritatingly erratic directions, Shinji moved marginally closer to the quiet young woman. "Alright, I told you I'd tell you... but I have to know something first. How much of this will reach my father? If I tell you what I know, how far does your duty go, to him?"
As she blinked rapidly, the young man realized the conundrum he'd presented to her. If he told her what he knew, then there was the distinct possibility that she would need to let the Commander know, but without knowing precisely what it was, she couldn't say, before hand. "You make this very difficult," was her only reply for many moments, affirming what he'd assumed.
Looking about the park, Shinji allowed himself a brief nod. "I am. Because this isn't easy. Like you said, these Angels may be more and more difficult to kill as time goes on. That also applies to us, don't you see?" He resisted the urge to pace, and instead let his tension play out in his fists, clenching and unclenching slowly. "Why? Why are the Angels attacking, and only here? Why and what are the Evas, what did we know before they were made, and why was it so convenient that they were ready, for the Angels? Things are too convenient, and it makes no sense. We make no sense – pilots for such things, but only our age?" Shaking his head angrily, Shinji looked back at the young woman, now looking down at her own hands uneasily. "These are what I wonder, each time I walk into that place. That and more."
"It is our duty-"
"No, it's not," Rei sat, stunned at his words. Not only the implication but the force behind them. "Why is it our duty, Rei? Why specifically us?"
She stared at her hands, not looking up to meet his gaze. "Only we can pilot the Eva. If the Angels..."
"Yes, only us – but that does not tell me why. What are they after? Why here?" Shinji prompted, and she shook her head slowly.
"I cannot say."
Scrubbing a hand through his hair, the young man leaned back against the bench angrily. "Cannot or will not? Damn all these secrets. Why do they expect us to do this? Blindly? I'm sorry, but Rei, you don't strike me as the sort to be the hero, risking and willing to sacrifice it all for humanity."
"It is my..."
"Duty? Bond?" Snorting, Shinji surprised himself at his rancor. The time he'd spent mulling over and over the things Jack had told him over the last week, and it only strengthened his aggravation. The secrets being kept from those that were put forward on the front lines of this war, most of all. It didn't matter, right now if they failed, that all humanity would die. That was supposedly a given. None of the other staff of Nerv dealt with the unsettling trial that was piloting an Eva, or the stress of being there, facing down beings of unimaginable power. "Don't we deserve to know? If what they say is right, and the Angels win, then it's all over. Win what? How?" Turning, he noted how anxious Rei was, how unsettled. Her eyes darted from her fingers to the ground and back as if she were searching for something.
"I... why do you question so much? Why?" Her words were weak, quiet but he didn't let that deter him, too far into his own questions, his own anger.
His hands ached, and he barely resisted the urge to stand and pace, by clenching them hard again and again. "How can I not, Rei? I ask because it's my life, and yours too." Looking up at the young woman, he wanted to just... make her understand. "So. Since you won't answer my questions, I'll do it myself.
"The Angels seek Adam, and like Nerv seek Instrumentality," when she gasped, he shook his head ruefully, watching her from the corner of his eye. "How far do I need to go, Rei?" Her silence was his only answer. "How far do you plan to follow my father?" Taking her shoulders, Shinji turned her to face him, unrepentant at the anxiety in her eyes at his accusation. "To the end of humanity? Doesn't that seem... hypocritical? Save them, this bond you lord over Asuka and me, only to be the tool to destroy it!"
"Ikari I don't... you're hurting me."
Standing, his anger drained suddenly as it had flared, Shinji looked down at her where she sat, rubbing idly at her arms where he'd grasped her. Looking around, he saw Section-2 agents standing by anxiously, watching him – watching them. "I'm sorry, Rei. This was a mistake."
He wasted no time walking away, leaving her behind as he contemplated his anger, his frustration and how it had ruled him, at her expense. His offer to walk her home forgotten, as he wondered what was wrong with him, why he had gotten so angry at her. Rei... could she be what Jack claimed? His mind raced, and he clenched his fists again, the pain helping his mind to clear.
Was she so loyal to his father that she'd betray him, betray all the world for him? Jack had told him that she was critical to his father's plans, she was key – but that nothing he could do, would affect her. What did that mean? Jack gave him some answers, which only lead to more questions it seemed.
More questions and doubt in his place, as a pilot. "This... arrrgh. Either I let the Angels win and everything dies, or I let my father win and everything dies!" His mind circled in those patterns, long after he'd made it home, and shrugged off Asuka's grumbling about his lateness.
In her own apartment, Rei looked at her arms, the light bruising as she inspected them intently. Her mind cast back to Shinji's conversation, and her breath hitched again.
Was she afraid? Her body's reactions had spoken that much. Fear of Ikari...? No. She wasn't... afraid of him during his questions. Afraid for him, would be the best way to put it, she reasoned. Rei wasn't foolish or naïve – she knew her nature, to a degree. Knew she wasn't the first, or the last Ayanami. Knew her purpose in this plan of the Commander's, yet, there in itself was a darkness in her mind. If she was... "If I am to join with Lilith, then does that make me of her? Or am I human? What am I?"
Other people weren't replaceable. Even if the technology was there, they could not, without vast difficulty, capture and imprint the soul on another body, and even then there were no guarantees. Yet she, obviously, had been. It was planned for in fact, and the impression of her mind was even a parcel to be used in the Dummy Plugs that Akagi worked so diligently on. Did that make her less than human? More? Or was the measure a mistake.
What was she, that could steer Instrumentality?
Uncharacteristically, she found herself angry. Angry at Shinji for raising such questions, where before she had calm certainty and a quiet resolve. Angry at herself for faltering, in questioning, her duty. Even, she admitted with a slight shock, angry at the Commander. So much of her knowledge was logic, gained over the use and exposure she had within Nerv. That was was often present by the Commander, meant she had an intimate knowledge of it's workings. The Evas. Lilith. The Dummy Plugs. Adam. Angels. All of it, and it's place in Seele's, and the Commander's scenario. Yet, very little from his own words, had she learned. He demanded her obedience, as Ikari accused, but... at what right. What did he give her back, to reward such loyalty? Was it earned, or abused?
That idea shook her, to her core. Rei had never questioned him, because... she faltered in her thinking, an odd ache settling behind her eyes. She wasn't the first.
Who was? Who was the first Rei? What caused her to die?
She wished, then, that she could unhear Shinji's words. Undo this oppressive night of questions and anger. Laying down in her unkempt bed she resolved to do two things, soon.
First, she would find out what happened to the first Rei Ayanami. Such an idea might have broken a weaker mind, but having had it drilled into her, that she was without value – replaceable and yet also key to a plan was a fool's tactic. One cannot be without worth, and vital at once.
Next, understand what Ikari had learned. In doing so, perhaps she would find some answers as well.
And in asking, perhaps another mystery, she mulled silently, her mind already slowing in the early stages of sleep. The blood on her sleeves... yet no cuts on her arms. He had grasped her with unusual strength, but...
Where had the blood come from, then?
\ \ \ \
Not that it was terribly surprising to him, but Rei was absent the next day. "Probably talking to the Commander about what to do about me," he groused, opening his laptop for the day's lesson. Almost before the backlight had fully brightened, his first message of the day blinked angrily at him.
"Why was Section-2 escorting my sister home, Ikari?" Hikari's message flickered, the urgent tag on it apparent. Groaning, he let his forehead bang into the keyboard, trying to figure out which god he'd pissed off this week.
Leaning his chin on a hand, he typed out his response while pretending to pay attention to their lecture. "Got caught up in a pilot meeting. Made a mistake in timing. Was late, wanted to make sure she got home safe." Good enough and not a lie, he figured, and prodded the "Send" option savagely.
Mercifully, the rest of the day passed without much fanfare or aggravation from classmates. Still, he was preoccupied with the discussion the prior night with Rei, and by the end of the afternoon he was jumping at every shadow, every small unusual noise, expecting Section-2 agents. His lunch was handed to Touji, who shrugged and ate without comment, his own appetite settling on different fare. Shinji admitted it now, his body just seemed disinclined to the rice and vegetables that he'd packed, like he had for a month now.
He would have to do something about that tonight. Shinji knew his concentration was shot to hell, and if he were to go in for a sync test, it'd be a nightmare. Ritsuko would have him in every night for a solid week for fouling up once. Not something he wanted to think about. Evening bells tolled, and he shrugged off the few attempts to get his attention – mostly Kensuke and Asuka, and made his way to the local market.
"Tch... why so expensive." Sighing, he picked at the packaged meats, weighing his own appetite versus the possibility his roommates would find an excuse to 'borrow' his groceries. It was rare he picked up anything for himself, and he found out early on that anything particularly tasty tended to disappear rather mysteriously, whenever someone decided they needed something done that had him out of the apartment. Thankfully these at least needed cooking. That bettered the odds of him being able to enjoy them, as Asuka was too wrapped up in herself to stoop to such a menial task as cooking, and Misato could burn water.
Settling on the largest economy pack of steaks, he also picked up some grocer's film to repack them. Standing over the meat cooler reminded him that he hated the smell of old blood, and he wanted to dispose of the absorbent pack as soon as possible. Shinji's monthly account was significantly smaller when he left, but his spirits were high, in it's stead. Speeding home he scanned the parking enclosure for Misato's Alpine, and seeing it still absent prayed he had the chance to have his own meal, before his roommates arrived.
Judging by Asuka and Hikari's chatting, he half expected them to be here studying, particularly if Misato would be at Nerv. That... would be complicated. Chewing his lip as he rode the elevator up, he realized that if he tried to eat with guests over, it would be horribly rude and impolite to not offer them some as well. It disturbed him to think that just groceries could make him so... territorial, but Shinji had to admit, these weren't the 200 yen bags of chips or candy that went missing often enough.
As for being rude with company, "Not that Asuka would have that problem," he groused. If he were to do that with the two of them alone, she'd likely just take the plate and stalk off, asking 'what, aren't you hungry?' as he he'd made it her her alone.
Growling to himself, he was surprised to hear the sound reverberate around the elevator. The echo snapped him out of his annoyance enough to sneak up to the door, and listen a moment before keying it open. There wasn't much chance of stealth at this point, so he just announced himself after slipping his shoes off.
To his relief, PenPen was his only company for the moment. Barely sparing his small roommate a glance, Shinji sped into the kitchen and unloaded his bags, working quickly to repack them into smaller, more easily accessed – and hidden, sizes with the grocer's film he'd picked up. With a start he jumped when PenPen jabbed at his shin with his beak, motioning to his bowl. "Aha, um. Give me a minute. Almost done then we can both eat."
His final supplies well hidden in the refrigerator below the vegetables and behind the bottled water, Shinji set one particularly large steak on a plate for himself and went about the simple task of feeding Misato's pet. It amazed him sometimes that the poor thing was still alive, considering her habits and tendency to just disappear. Not to mention her cooking. "Bet you were glad to have roommates," he asked, leaning down to place the warmed sardines for the grateful waterfowl.
Sighing contently, he sat as well and tore into his steak.
It was a few moments later that he realized, in his distraction with feeding PenPen, that the steak was still raw. This happened at approximately the same moment that the door keyed open, and he heard someone around the foyer corner kicking off their shoes.
Two someones. "I'm home," was the surly alarm of Asuka's presence, and Shinji looked down in panic at the half eaten steak, still occupying his plate. And his lightly bloody hands. And his shirt. "Christ, when did I turn in to Misato," was his private wail, as he snatched up the plate and dashed for the sanctuary of his room.
"Shinji! Hey, where's..." the sound of his door pulling to caused the young woman to blink, as Hikari peered around the corner. "Dinner."
Sniffing the air, Hikari's nose wrinkled. "Smells like someone was shopping – oh my god PenPen!" Grinning happily, the young woman knelt by the now supremely content penguin, lavishing attention on him.
Asuka sighed, knowing she'd never figure out what Hikari meant, as long as she was in 'oh my god cute!' mode. Honestly sometimes it seemed like she was the only adult around. Speaking of... "Misato?" When no one answered, she heaved a sigh and started rifling through the dry foods, looking for something simple for them to snack on. She'd hoped that with the Third leaving early, he'd have dinner ready when she got home, hopefully with enough for Hikari. She could have called him and warned him, but he always made too much. That's how it was supposed to work, but with Shinji being antisocial and Misato gone, she'd have to fend for herself. Unless... "Be right back, Hikari."
Stomping off to Shinji's room, she pulled the shutter open and just blinked at what she saw. His hands up over his head, shirt still bound up on them, the young man was standing there in his boxers and little else, other than a glare. "Do you even know how to knock?"
The comment pulled her attention off him and back onto her task, and Asuka's eyes narrowed. "We have company, and it was your turn-"
He'd expected this tactic, and managed not to grin when it was obvious she'd not given it much thought, "Don't. Not even close." Jabbing a finger at the calendar by the door, he indicated the very prominent red "A" on the current date. "And that's no excuse to come barging in. I'll come out and say hello when I'm changed."
Her color rising, and not in embarrassment, the other pilot crossed her arms and returned the glare. "I have company, I can't very well make food and entertain. So when you're done playing in here, come make something," turning, she was about to close the shutter when the next word literally caused her to nearly fall.
"No."
Turning, she stumbled back as the other pilot was just a few inches away. "What do you-"
The shutter closed in her face with a bang, and it was all she could do not to break the thing down. "Why you..." storming back into the living room, her footsteps startled PenPen who scampered off to his 'room', while Asuka went about the business of opening and slamming every counter in the kitchen, looking for something while obviously not paying attention to anything in front of her.
Hikari winced at each impact, wondering what exactly had happened between the two pilots, when Shinji walked out of the hallway, an unfamiliar scowl on his face. With a growing sense of dread, the Class Rep realized this was a very bad day to come over and study. "Do you mind? I don't think Misato would appreciate her kitchen being destroyed by one of your tantrums."
"My tantrums...?" Spinning quickly, her hair flaring out with her school uniform with the motion, she saw the source of her annoyance standing there, glaring at her. Again. Despite it she seemed to grasp the situation with a smile, and made her way out of the kitchen, "Why Shinji, how nice of you to come make dinner for us."
Snorting, he shook his head, and the redhead stopped with a glare. Sighing, Shinji just looked to Hikari and offered her a small grin. "Did Kodama make it home alright last night? I would have asked, but Keita was looking over my shoulder, and I'd rather not start rumors."
She blinked in surprise but nodded, "Y-yes, she did. I was worried when I saw those scary men in their suits, but then realized they were with Nerv. She was a bit upset though."
"I'll have to apologize then," he offered, nodding slightly.
"What were you doing with Hikari's sister, that got Section-2 involved? Did you do something perverse on the train?" Asuka's laugh didn't give him a chance to respond, and his fist clenched again, the internal war he always fought around the girl getting his tension up as usual. The bothersome thing today, as that it wouldn't be still. He couldn't find his calm, that center where he retreated to just let everything wash off him. It seemed like all his emotions was raw and weary, and the one thing he knew Asuka would revel in, was getting him flustered. Sadly, her attempts to cajole, bully and mock him had done little more than piss him off for the last few days, and today he just couldn't stifle that reaction.
Why couldn't she just pretend to be sociable? Was she always such an insufferable... "Bitch." His eyes narrowed, he was barely aware the word had left his lips before the sound settled around the room.
Hikari swallowed, as the temperature seemed to drop in the room. "What did you just say?" Asuka's voice was deceptively calm, which was reason enough for her to be uncomfortable.
His hand clenched reflexively. "Hikari, I apologize but perhaps this isn't the best time to come over-" The impact of a hand, for the second time in twenty four hours, rang in his ears.
"Don't you ignore me!" To Asuka's surprise, the young man didn't flinch. She readied another blow, but before she could do more than look slightly to the side where Hikari was calling her name in shock, when something took her by shoulders and spun her into a wall, her head impacting the hard surface and sending stars across her vision.
Shinji absently took note of Hikari's hand over her mouth, and Asuka sliding down the wall beside the foyer, rubbing at the back of her head. Without another word, he stalked back to his bedroom, returning with only a light jacket and his hand in a pocket. Nodding in apology to the Class Rep, he left without another word.
The door slammed, and the noise seemed to rouse the two young women from their thoughts. "Asuka... are you alright?"
"Oh I'm fine, but he's not going to-" She mumbled hotly, the other young woman helping her up. At her growling reply, the hand on her arm clenched tighter, and the redhead winced. "What?"
Looking away, Hikari let the pilot go and just shook her head slowly. "Just... let him go. Some thing's obviously bothering him, and it's not worth it to get in a fight over. Alright?"
"Did you hear what he called me?" Her voice going a bit shrill, the pilot pushed away from her classmate and glared at the door sullenly. "I can't let him get away with that."
"You did accuse him of... and Kodama was fine! They just had their dinner interrupted-" clapping her hands over her mouth, she realized the error almost as she made it.
"Their dinner." Again, Asuka's voice had that quiet, slow menace that always foretold her anger being barely in check. "Are you trying to tell me, that Shinji the Idiot, and your older sister were on a date?"
"No, it's not like that!"
"Why didn't you tell me?"
Slumping, the Class Rep just sat heavily on the couch, her hands tucked into her lap. "He's not been himself. Haven't you noticed?" Snorting derisively, the redhead none the less sat down beside the rattled young woman and motioned for her to continue. "Well. The other day after his... absence, he'd called me."
Suspicion was clear in her eyes, but Asuka kept her temper. "Called? You?"
Nodding, she seemed supremely uncomfortable with herself. "There was a day, that same day actually, and I felt... I don't know, just horrible. Like I'd spent the night up and... worse. I just felt bad, and my nose kept bleeding... well. We were talking that day at lunch-"
"About this?" A moment passed and the young woman's blue eyes closed to slits, "You lied to me?"
"Will you let me finish!" Breathing hard, Hikari didn't miss the hardness that crept over her friend's eyes, and swore silently. "He knew about the dream, that I had. I dreamed something bad happened to me, and he knew about it. It scared me! I wanted to know... but all he said was something about someone lying." Shaking her head, the young woman closed her eyes tight and stifled a sob. Too much stress, she chided herself. These people, they live in so much danger it keeps them wound tight like a bow. She couldn't live that way.
Shoving her anger to the side, Asuka let herself think about what Hikari was saying, her teeth worrying at her lip slowly. "He knew about it?"
"He... yes. He was in it too."
That made Asuka pause a moment. Did she really want to know... sighing, she shrugged. "What was the dream of?"
Hikari's mouth worked silently a moment, but with a stilling breath she began the brief flashes she remembered, of someone threatening her, and a man named Jack.
\ \ \ \
"God damn her." Snarling, Shinji just tread through the rain, not really paying attention to where his feet lead. He'd called Misato, informing her of their falling out, and the response had been... less than what he'd hoped. "Lover's quarrel! That woman really has no idea how real people work." Stomping a particularly large puddle savagely, he sighed, the water soaking into his already drenched clothes. "Like I'm any better."
Despite the fall chill, he wasn't uncomfortable. In fact, it was pleasant. The cool water helped him think, calmed him. The only problem with it...
The rain traffic and water reminded him of that night. Shaking his head hard, he let his mind go blank, refusing to think back on those memories. What could he do? He'd already burned the one bridge he felt like having, in Rei. Asuka was a null situation. Sure, she was intelligent, intuitive when it came to complex problems and good at logic, but all that just made her more insufferable. Why did smart people have to be so... stupid?
Was he sure Rei betrayed him? Running a hand through his soaked hair, he had to admit, it was his own paranoia there talking. For all he knew, she was questioning the Commander on his behalf, not plotting his death with the man. That brought another question to mind, as he stalled in his random walking, a crosswalk turning for traffic.
"Could he kill me?" Despite the morbidity of imagining his father killing him, he considered it seriously. "He's locked me up in the past, but... supposedly they need Unit-01. I'm it's only pilot. Until that changes, I suppose he can't, can he." Brow furrowed slightly, Shinji looked over the cityscape, trying to place his bearings. Lights from the downtown area were far to his west, and nearby he could hear the sounds of construction and the broken horizon of the residential reconstruction zone. With a snort, he figured if irony was driving, that he may as well see the sights.
Dirt and disuse were the first words that came to mind, as he looked over Rei's apartment building. "I can't imagine someone paying to live here," he mused, realizing that likely it was his father's idea, or aim to do this. "Why doesn't she just live at the Nerv barracks?"
He figured it was a valid question. Maybe if she was here, he'd ask the young woman. "Rei?" Her door, as it was last time, was slightly ajar and had mail overflowing from it. "Rei, I'm coming in."
Dark and musty, just like he remembered. Wrinkling his nose against the smell of dust and moldy plaster, Shinji called once more from the foyer, and a faint reply came from inside this time. "I am here."
"I just came by to say sorry, about the other night." Stepping hesitantly into the main room, he was first caught by the state it was in. It looked as if a small typhoon had lighted there, and spent some time reorganizing. He remembered the room messy, but this... "What happened here?"
"I was... displeased."
The dim light did nothing to help him pick her out in the darkness, but as his eyes adjusted, Shinji nearly immediately wished they hadn't. "What...?" Rei sat upon her bed, silhouetted by the window, blinds drawn, behind her. Dust and the dirty air gave the room a halo, as light shone in and it was an oddly... poetic scene he felt. She sat there, her face down and in shadow while before was spread out folders, a stack of two boxes nearby, and photos. Her small table had been pulled close, and a television sat there, it's screen left to static. He noted briefly that it still had the ownership tag of a rental agency, and wasn't surprised. "What are you working on?"
"Ikari... you asked me some very difficult questions, last night." Finally she looked up, and the coldness in her eyes made him wince. Even before, when he'd just started piloting and attending the same classes as her, he'd never seen such... distance. "I am curious, as anyone. I ask questions, as anyone. Is it not unfair to assume otherwise?"
"Well, yes. Rei what's all this about," he swallowed briefly, watching as she ran fingers along a few photos, things he couldn't see from this distance. He wanted to move closer, see what she was looking at, what had caused in her such an unbalance. Without realizing it, he'd come to rely on her cool steadiness, her calm, and to see her as this, upset him more than a little. He'd nearly forgotten the state of his clothes till he sneezed, and remembered it with the chill that accompanied it. "I shouldn't come in, I'm drenched."
"I do not care. Take off your jacket and hang it in the shower, if you want." Deciding that was likely for the best, he did so, noting that the small shower stall was only marginally better kept than the rest of the space Rei called home.
Returning, he looked about the room a moment, mind trying to picture Rei doing this. He failed. "What made you so angry?"
"I began to question. Hard questions, like yours. Perhaps you know. Perhaps not. But other than us, only Doctor Akagi and the Commander know of my nature, at all."
"I, I really don't know that much of it Rei. I don't," Shinji was having problems catching up to her thinking, and it worried him. Deciding that the worst he could do is get thrown out, he moved closed and sat without invitation on the corner of her bed, across from the young woman. "Why don't you start from the beginning, Rei. I'm not following well here."
Her finger idly tapped one of the photo's, then. Shinji could tell it was a printout from a surveillance recording, or a cheap video feed. It had that grainy, badly focused appearance. Despite it, there was Rei, small and in a maroon dress, smiling – his eye strayed to the date. "What the...?"
"Yes." She ran a hand along the image, as if trying to remember that time. "This is... me. Yet it is... not. I do not remember."
Shinji was still mulling over the date, only five years ago, when the impact of what she said hit him. "That... this can't be you."
Smiling ruefully, she looked up at him, the difference in expression between the two dramatic. "Yet it is. This Rei, was... born, in 2006. She died in 2010, killed by Naoko Akagi."
His eyes widening, Shinji drew back slightly, "Akagi?"
"The same." Rei pulled a set of three photos out and Shinji looked away, paling. "It was no less shocking to me."
"I can't imagine it being more so, for anyone," he'd barely looked in time, but the image was still burned into his mind. A young Rei, her hands slack to the side and eyes rolled up into her skull, a woman with dark hair and a twisted expression with her hands almost meeting around the little girl's neck. "I just. I don't understand."
"It is taking some time to piece together." Frowning slightly, Rei looked up and around her meager room slowly. "Would you like some water? I would offer tea, but have none."
"No, it's alright, no... would you like some tea? I could go get some. I think I could use some air, honestly," his voice strained, the young man stood and tried to shake the strangeness of the situation from his mind. Rei? She was... four, in those pictures, but how? That would make the Rei he knew only eight – but that was providing that the ones in the pictured didn't die. "My head hurts."
"Tea would be... nice." The use of an actual affected adjective caused him to raise a brow. "I will walk with you. I know the closest market."
Nodding, Shinji helped her with her shoes, while slipping his back on. "Is that," pointing to the boxes on the bed, he continued, "why you were absent today?"
Pausing a moment as they walked onto the apartment's main hall, she shook her head slowly. "No, not entirely. There were many things that I felt were more important today, than extraneous classwork."
The sound of Shinji nearly falling over caused her to pause. "I mean, yeah the lectures are droll, but... isn't that a bit harsh?"
Rei hesitated, but in the end merely shrugged and continued to the stairs. "Perhaps."
It was well into evening when they returned, and with the walk both had managed to sort through some of their thoughts on the most current matters. "Rei, is it alright if I ask about those files?" Questions were easier, Shinji figured, than the unknown. At least if they knew the answers, there would be no frightening variables.
"I will answer what I feel allowable," she said evenly, and he sighed, knowing it was the best to hope for.
"How could you – that Rei, be four, and you be fifteen?"
As she boiled water, he set about the apartment, righting small things, picking up the more obvious mess. It was less an act of kindness, so much as a refusal to idle in his own thoughts. "It is difficult, but be patient with me. Some of these things I do not understand as well.
"You think I am party to all the workings of Nerv, but I am not. I am very observant, and... possibly due to my nature, most do not see me as a threat. So they speak freely." Turning, she brought two cups and the water, placing it on a tile on the table. "Much like class. People do not see me, because to them, I am not there."
Shinji nodded, the truth in those words easy to see. "But you're also part of the plan, so some of it has to be explained or known."
"This is true. Again, most often my company was that of the planners themselves as well." Holding her cup before her, Rei seemed to be looking through the steam, through him. "You accused me of holding secrets, but you must understand, it is all I've known. My duty, my role in this, my very nature are all things that at least in part, are kept from me."
"Father," he spat the word, and just closed his eyes, uncaring of the reaction she would have to the incrimination in his voice. When he did look up, he was surprised to see her expression unchanged. "So, he manipulates you as well?"
"Is it manipulation when you follow your teacher's advice? When a commanding officer issues an order to a subordinate?" Shaking her head slowly, Rei reached over and looked at a small packet of medication, brow furrowing. She replaced it, unopened. "This was my life. Orders. Being taught what I am, what my goal is."
"What is your goal?"
Rei blinked up at him, her eyes blank. "Your father's will. Only that. The totality of it is: pilot Eva, report any changes in myself, or those I feel relevant, make objective observations of the working relationship of the pilots, and when the time comes, fulfill my orders without question." She shook her head slowly, eyes dropping back to her tea. "There is little else, that I have been told, yet I have learned much."
She must have, he thought to himself. He'd never heard her speak so much, so easily. Perhaps it had been more of a burden on her than he'd imagined. Who else did she have to speak with? Particularly about her doubts? "About his plan for you?"
"Yes." Heaving a sigh, she poured a second cup of water, retrieving another bag of tea for it. "There are many plans, many planners. But the result of them all will be my ultimate death." She turned quickly at the sound of his cup clattering, and handed Shinji a napkin.
"Thanks, sorry. Just surprised."
Nodding noncommittally, Rei sat again. "It is difficult to understand, the weaving and dodging of wills in this." Her pause was long this time, and uneasily, Shinji looked over the printed photos again. "I believe I am to be made one with that which is below Nerv. Perhaps it is what the Angels seek. Beyond that, I am unsure."
Shaking his head, Shinji leaned back in his chair, running a hand through his hair. "Enough, though. More than should be on you." It was his turn, to stare into his tea, and with a sigh he put it down. "Why all this, though." Gesturing to the bed, the folders on it, he continued. "Why now?"
To his surprise, Rei smiled at this. "Before, no one questioned. Before you came to Tokyo-3, the only other pilot was a record in Germany only. I had no reason to be curious, because all I needed was given to me, all outside that scope was to be considered unimportant."
"But... to drive you blindly to death. It's too cruel, even for him it seems."
Nodding, Rei looked pointedly to her makeshift desk, and the small brown case there. "Yet all evidence points to it." When Shinji made a questioning noise, she went on, "Why does the Commander care so little for my schooling? It is for appearances only, such has been stated. Are not guardians to be concerned with one's future?" At Shinji's nod, Rei went silent.
Watching her, it was obvious what she was thinking about, as her eyes looked around the apartment. This wasn't a place that encouraged futures. "You... you said you had an idea about the photos?" A change of subject was needed, and badly. Grasping, he turned to the only thing at hand, that wouldn't seem like too much of a reach.
"I was not the first... I will not be the last." Her simple statement confused Shinji, till the gravity of it sunk in. When he started, she nodded slightly. "There is something... missing, inside me. I know it. I look at those pictures, and it's as if... I can almost remember her. I can, but it is elsewhere. Locked away."
The idea she was already accepting her death as an inevitability shook him, so much so that he stood and took her by the shoulders, much like the night before. "Rei, what do you mean, not the last? Do you expect him to kill you?" The image on those files mocked him. "Replace you?" He knew it was a possibility, and the girls sitting in front of him made it a certainty, but the circumstances... would he do it just to clear a slate, so to speak? Fix a mistake? "Why would he?"
"There are few pilots," she said hesitantly, her lips thinning. "Few Evas for them, and I would not see there be more people like us, subjected to this. It is not a pleasant thing."
"No, no it's not. I'd actually hate to see Kensuke in an Eva, that just is not a picture that needs to come to pass." The slight lift to her lips settled his frayed nerves somewhat. "What do... what do you plan to do?"
"I do not know." Walking over to her bed, the young woman sat and turned on the television, the tape inside whirring to life as she did so. "Many things have changed, in this last day. I do not know what to think yet. My anchor is not solid, now."
She feels adrift, like me, he reasoned. For good reason, if what he was seeing was real. Cloned. No way around it, and in some advanced way, if they could alter her age. Why would they... oh. "They knew, that the Angels would be here. It's why they sent for me. Why they, ah. Accelerated you."
"Signs would point to yes," she answered quietly. "Either they knew, or something has triggered them, but your arrival was too much a coincidence. I believe it to be as you say."
The tape was a silent recording, and not very recent. With a growing sense of unease, he noted the time stamp in the corner was the same as that on the photos he'd seen. It had to have been the source of those print outs, which meant... To reinforce his feeling, he saw a small child, undoubtedly Rei, talking to his father, before the man left the camera's view. Shortly a woman appeared, and as he watched, the tableau played out again, only this time there was no mistake. The small girl looked up happily, said something and the woman visibly stiffened. Again, something was said, and then the nightmare began. He winced as the young girl's head shifted hard at a point, evidence of broken vertebrae from her assailant's grip. A moment passed and the older woman ran forward, away from the camera and into the darkened corridor, out of the camera's eye. With a start, he realized what he was seeing was the bridge, above the Magi, and that the direction she ran... heaving a sigh, Shinji looked to the young woman, her eyes blank as the scene played again. "This is why Ritsuko has such animosity to you, isn't it?"
"Yes. I can think of no... This is the best reason, perhaps."
"I don't like that hesitation."
Glancing over to him briefly, she turned her attention to the tape, the play set to loop as the young woman spoke. "Perhaps I require some secrets still."
Rubbing at his temple, Shinji nodded. He could relate to that sentiment. "I don't mind knowing more about you, about this. I don't think I need to know everything, though it's not something I'll complain about, you opening up like this."
"Will you tell me something in turn then?" His fleeting sense of comfort, at the idea of having a friend and confidant like Rei vanished. She turned her eyes on him, and he could feel the question in them, before she asked it.
Nodding slowly, he ventured the query for her, "Where did I find out what I did?" A simple nod was his answer. "I suppose at this point, we're either trusting each other, or you're going to great lengths to set me up."
Rei blinked rapidly at the last comment. "You believe I would do that?"
"You have to admit, you've got the best poker face in Tokyo-3."
"I will take that under advisement," she said shortly, and Shinji winced.
Stumbling over his words a moment, he groaned and shook his head. "Sorry, I just meant to say you'd do well in that place. I'm not saying you are doing that." Standing, he paced about quietly, glad to be away from that morbid scene playing over and over on the young woman's screen. "I'm sorry," he said quietly, facing the window that looked out over the other construction sites. "You really are the closest thing I have to a friend here. I didn't mean to imply I didn't trust you."
"It is understandable," Rei replied, but her tone was still chilly. "I will admit, you have been a terrible disruption to my normal way of life." Somewhat put off, Shinji looked back at her, only to find her watching him carefully. "I am not saying it is a bad thing."
Laughing, Shinji hazarded to reach out and smooth down a stray tuft of hair that was out of place by her ear. "We need to get you a thesaurus." Taking a breath he sat, and sorted his thoughts. "This all began on a night like tonight, when I met someone who said his name was Jack..."
She could tell he was leaving out details, with how he paused, and how hard he had to think to word some things, but didn't question it. Some of the implications didn't sit well with Rei, regardless, least of all the blatant kidnapping of a pilot. She asked if he'd spoken to anyone in Section-2 about it, but he simply shrugged it off, saying if the man had managed what he did already, then likely they'd never catch the man.
Their chatting had gone on some time into the evening, till with a start Shinji's phone rang. "Oh, I forgot the time," he hissed, seeing Misato's number on his phone. "Hello?"
"Shinji, where are you?" Her voice wasn't terse, just curious, for which he was grateful.
Biting his lip a moment, he looked about, unsure what to tell... "I went out for some tea after the argument with Asuka," he hoped the half truth wasn't too obvious.
The line was silent only a moment, "Alright. You should head back soon. Do you need a ride? Wait never mind, where can I pick you up? I can't have you out on the streets this late."
"Really Misato, I'll be fine," he dodged, yet the woman would not be satisfied till he let her pick him up. To his surprise, Rei had a map out, and was pointing to a nearby bus stop. Grinning his thanks, he told his guardian the location.
"That's... pretty far away. What are you doing out there?"
"I was walking, like I said. When you're walking off one of her bad moods, it takes a while," he nearly let it go at that, but closed his eyes, knowing he should bring it up now, rather than later. "How are Asuka and Hikari?"
"Hikari's already left, and I think Asuka's either studying in her room or asleep," there wasn't a hint of what he'd expect to hear in her voice if things had gotten too heated after his hasty departure, so he relaxed marginally. "Still, I don't like you two quarreling. You should try to get along better."
With a scoff, Shinji regarded his phone a moment, before putting it back to his ear. "How precisely am I to try harder, Misato? I'm not the spoiled child, with the entitlement complex."
"Well, bringing up her faults isn't the way to handle Asuka."
"Glossing them over so they can just rot her from the inside out, while trying to pander to her ego? Sure Misato. Sounds like a great plan." Shinji winced as he realized he'd not only called into question Misato's own methods with Asuka, but also insulted the girl again while copping an attitude with his guardian... sighing, he just stayed silent after.
Misato seemed to be thinking of something herself, but when he heard her reply, it was as if she'd suddenly turned into a weary, older woman, "I'll be there soon." A click and dial tone signaled the end of the call, and he closed the phone with a snap.
"What's up with me this week," he groused, shaking his head slowly as it hung, his posture weary at the table where he sat. "First the fever, then the food... now I'm snapping at people."
Rei was by his side, before he'd noticed her moving, and when she spoke it startled him into looking up at the young woman. "You have been more emotional, and confrontational recently. Perhaps a lingering disquiet from your illness?"
"No I don't think so," he said quietly, as the last two days slowly clicked into place. He had been more emotional, at least as far as expressing himself. Things bothered him faster, broke through his barriers easier, his calm coming undone with less and less it seemed. He'd gotten cross with Rei, which should have shocked him, but there it was. Leaning back, he ran a hand through his hair and winced, his fingers hitting a sensitive spot, or scratching along his skin, he couldn't decide which.
You will change.
"Rei." Swallowing nervously, he looked to the young woman and took a slow breath. "I'm a little... scared."
\ \ \ \
His walk to the stop was a hasty affair, one he barely noticed. The last few pieces of his memory had finally floated to the surface, and the picture they painted... it wasn't pleasant. "Was it right of me to tell Rei?" Shaking his head, the young man knew it was only fair. She'd given him a lot, in her few moments that night.
How do you balance the scales, when someone tells you they have died, and somehow are still alive, only much older than they should be... and had proof to back it up. If he hadn't been piloting an enormous biomechanical monster that's reported purpose was to kill other monsters, he'd likely not believe her. That's the beauty of Tokyo-3, he mused, as he leaned up against the bus stop booth. So fucked up, nothing really seemed impossible anymore.
Where did he fit into all this? He looked down at his hand, at the small, almost paper-thin scars along his palm, something he'd not even noticed till that afternoon. Swallowing hard, he ran the edge of a nail along his skin, pressing hard till it parted. A tiny well of blood pooled there, and he waited. The sting of it barely registered to him, something akin to the discomfort of a bunched sock. Flicking his hand he rubbed at the spot, the still sensitive skin pink and whole there now. "Where do I fit in?"
"Passenger seat. Hey, Shinji!" Starting, he looked up and directly into Misato's curious eyes. "Daydreaming in this weather? Good thing I didn't let you walk. Get in." Blinking off his initial shock, the young pilot painted a smile on his face and settled into the offered seat, grinning in apology for his lapse in attention.
The ride was it's usual harrowing event, but his mind wasn't on it. It was on his guardian, who looked... drawn. Haggard even. "Misato, is something wrong? You look tired." More than tired, much more.
Frowning a bit deeper, she shook her head. "Nothing wrong, but I do have some bad news. The Sub-commander has gone missing. I know you didn't know him well but he was a kind man and..."
Misato's voice faded off, as his mind panicked. It made sense, now. Fuyutsuki wasn't missing, any more than Jack just happened to know all that he did. It made too much sense, and with a sickening dread he realized that in some way, he was responsible for the old man's death. Misato was right – he was a kind man. One of the few he'd met in Nerv so far that seemed willing to stand up to, and beside his father. "Misato," his voice was weak, around a mouth that was suddenly too hot, and that tasted of bitter metal. "Misato!"
Her concentration broken, the woman swerved slightly as she looked at him, before noting his decidedly green complexion. "Oh shit not on the seats!"
"Pull... over," he gritted out, as the woman nearly spun the car into a turn and along the sidewalk. Not waiting for the car to stop, he swung the door open and vomited, his stomach wrenching at him angrily, ceaselessly it seemed for many minutes. When the images of his own hands, bloody and stained while Kozo died under him passed, he finally got control of his body again.
"There's some napkins in the glove box," he heard her whisper beside him, and nodded his thanks.
They were coarse, but all he wanted was to clean his face, and it helped. "Thanks. I'm alright now."
Nodding soberly, she pulled back into traffic, moving decidedly more leisurely than her usual breakneck way. They traveled in silence a number of minutes before she broke it, her own voice thick with emotions, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't put something else like this on you."
"It's OK. I would have found out anyway," he replied, voice still rough. "Besides, it would be in the paper, or someone at Nerv would mention it."
She shook her head sadly, closing her eyes a moment before they pulled to a stop at a light, "No, you wouldn't. Nerv isn't releasing any information, and he has no family. There won't be a burial. I only found out because I was in Rits's office earlier." Shaking her head, the woman slammed a hand into the steering wheel. "Damn it, why. Why all this bullshit."
"Misato?"
Her anger washed away as quickly as it came. "Sorry," she grinned, shrugging but the damage was done. Something was eating at her, something at Nerv. It was painfully obvious to someone like him, who was in the same position. "Just stressed a bit. Speaking of stress," and here it comes, he moaned to himself. "What's up with you recently?"
"Sorry," he muttered, looking out the window. "I... guess I'm still a bit out of sorts from the fever."
Misato considered this a moment. "I thought you were feeling better?"
Shrugging, he just sighed, hoping she'd forget his earlier sickness and pick up speed. "I am, but those things take a bit out of you. I'm feeling better, really."
"So." Another light passed, the red of it making his eyes sting. "You apologized to Rei, then?"
Looking back at Misato, her face unreadable, he had to laugh to himself. Of course. He wasn't home, he had called angry and likely Asuka had as well, so of course Section-2 would be her first course of action. Same for last night, when he was out unannounced. "Yeah. I figured I should. I've not been myself recently, and she wasn't the person I was mad at. Just happened to be there at the wrong time."
"Who are you mad at, Shinji?"
Leaning back the sports car's seat, the young man just looked through the roof of the car, shaking his head slowly.
\ \ \ \
His hand tapped the sleep button on his alarm, at a minute till it started screaming in his ear. Things had settled down a bit, since his visit to Rei, and one of those blissful decadences, was that he had his morning to himself.
Circumstances behind that were interesting in themselves, Shinji recalled, pulling on his clothes for the day. Their little household had gone into an uproar that night, but it had passed without more than a whimper. Asuka had been strangely calm and aloof when they got home, and to his mortal shock, apologized for her behavior, if only grudgingly. Shinji had done likewise, even offering to cook dinner at such a late hour, but the young woman had refused, opting to go to bed almost as they arrived.
Misato had cleared things up for him. Apparently, she had come home to a rather sedate, and alone pilot, who calmly related the night's actions. She'd spared him a significant glance when she mentioned the incident with being pushed into a wall, to which he pointed at his cheek, and the livid mark there. What has surprised him most was that Asuka had told their guardian that she'd manage food for herself, from here on. Shinji almost called her out on this, thinking it was just a fit of spite, but wanted to see how it played out.
Never mind that the household all making their own meals was horribly inefficient with time and resources.
A week had passed, since he learned of the disappearance of the Sub-commander and the minor upset in their home. That event had sobered him, brought his attention back where it was needed strangely. His studies received more attention, as well as Nerv itself, with the constant pressure at home lessened.
It was strange, he recalled walking home, Saturday afternoon after class. The place had a whole new feel, since that incident. Before, it had been mysterious, ominous and full of mysteries. It wasn't a romantic idea, so much as a simple observation. No one spoke of things outside the normal scope of their duties. Techs spoke about the Magi, the Evas only when asked, only when needed. Command personnel spoke little at all, except in the strained limited areas of their circle of influence. You'd rarely, for instance, see someone in the technical division of Project E mingling with Section-2 or one of the bridge staff, unless is was their superior.
This made Nerv a very cliquish, very internal place. Somewhere that bred secrets. He understood then what Rei had said, about her nature and the way things became overlooked. Shinji imagined himself, being in this place as a constant, a shadow to the Commander. Always there, intrinsically accepted. Able to walk around without fear or concern... No wonder. She'd grown up here, it was obvious enough to see. What there was of that idea... did he know? If the Rei now, was years older than the Rei that had been killed, what was to say she'd grown up at all? The idea chilled him, that those here, his father's people, could do such a thing, all for such a misunderstood goal.
Obviously, either very few of them knew the meaning of what Nerv worked for. This wasn't the idle banter and chatter of those that trafficked in doom. Laughing at himself, Shinji tried to imagine what people who spoke in such a way, did seem like.
-
A/N: hate build-up chapters.