title: a tide in the affairs of men ll author: caricatureofintimacy ll rating: pg ll word count: 2,138 words ll pairings: edward/jacob, jacob/bella (bella/edward), jasper/alice ll warnings: slash, homosexuality, swearing, loneliness, het ll spoilers: it's best not to read this if you haven't read any twilight, but it won't hurt you. just knowing the characters and you should be fine. au forever really, their will be some details from all the books up to eclipse ll summary: pressure from billy changes jake's view on girls (bella) forever, edward being there and alive doesn't help either. ll
thanks: SophiaBushFan, yohanita21, kunf'you'z-ed, Anberu Shiruru, and, rry for the reviews. They mean a lot. If it wasn't for you I wouldn't have whipped this choppy chapter up together. Really choppy if I have a say in anything.
a tide in the affairs of men
chapter three (told in five parts)
(like a heart needs a beat)
one.
They screeched to a halt in front of the house. The lights were on, and the TV was flashing neon through the windows, Jacob could barely figure out who was who in the room. Charlie was sitting on the couch, back taut against the seat, hands wringed in front of himself in a nervous jitter, Billy was beside him, beer clasped in hand and 80s fist pump thrown joyously in the air. Someone must have scored a goal. Jacob couldn't really care.
Bella was silent next to him in the car. She had not said a word the whole car trip, her breaths came short and soft like nervous pants, and Jacob was worried, but not enough to actually say something. He really didn't want to say something. Jacob had not known Edward for long, maybe five months, when he realised he was in love. Edward had started stalking him, appearing above him or beside him when he worked on his car, strolling with him down the street when Jacob walked to work. Edward just started to appear everywhere.
For La Push that was a strange thing. Vampires were not allowed into La Push, it was a grand law created so many years ago to protect the werewolves. And Jacob had known Edward was a vampire, which Edward was in danger whenever he came to see Jacob, and Jacob didn't exactly know how to stop him (he didn't want him to stop.) After a while the visits became routine. Jacob started to expect them, and when Edward didn't turn up on some days, Jacob just presumed he was hunting, and pushed down the sadness and fear that stayed until Edward came again. Edward always came again.
Jacob hoped it wouldn't get to a stage where he was needy.
Bella stuttered out a gasp-like breath and shrunk lower in her seat. Jacob turned his full attention to her and unbuckled his seat belt quickly and efficiently. Bella mimicked his actions, but didn't get out of the car. They both weren't ready to get out of the car. Facing the music was always harder before you had to face it. Jacob just really couldn't put up with any more from his dad.
We should probably go inside soon, died on his lips before he could say anything, because Bella had leaned forward and pressed her mouth slowly and anxiously to his. And. And Jacob froze. His body paralysed, his lips felt numb, like the touch of her lips had frozen them. She breathed hot air against his lips, and Jacob shivered. Not from disgust, and not from heat. He just felt, wrong.
Bella pulled away.
'Why did you do that?' Jacob asked, giving Bella a look that screamed what the fucking hell.
'I just wanted to have a reason to why we shouldn't date too. You have Edward, I have the kiss. I felt nothing'
two.
Alice knows, but only by default, it's not that Edward's embarrassed about Jacob, and it's not that Edward is scared that Esme and Carlisle will disapprove of their relationship; it's just that Edward wanted something of his own to be special, and his. And he loved the thrill of secrecy, and playfulness. And for the first time in over a hundred years Edward felt like a teenager. Living the life he was meant to lead those many years ago. And Jacob understood.
Even as he lusted physically and mentally after Bella. For her blood, for her. He just couldn't get the taste of her off of his mouth, off of his skin. She was everywhere.
Jacob understood. He loved Jacob.
And Alice only knew by default.
three.
Alice was sitting on his recliner lounge when Edward retreated from his room after Jacob had left with that mysterious girl Bella. Edward knew just by the poise in her body, that she was ready for discussion, long discussion. Edward blinked and sat down gingerly beside his quasi sister. Discussions with Alice could got both ways. She could either be really nice, or really mean. He didn't exactly know what type of discussion this was going to be. He wasn't really looking forward to it.
Alice turned her body towards him, her eyes locked with his, and they both held their breaths. Even though it was pointless and didn't do much about the problem. But for pretend, it helped masses.
'So Jacob' Alice says, after half an hour of searching his mind. Edward jumped at the sound of her voice, soft and piercing and understanding, and ever so Alice and Edward smiled softly.
'Jacob' and something from his voice or from the glistening of his cold eyes made Alice believe what she had been hearing in Edward's mind, but for safety disbelieving.
'Ok' and Alice patted Edward on the shoulder, sympathetically and squeezed it gently. 'I am going to go find Jasper; I think hunting is on the menu, he was a bit testy this morning, snapping at Carlisle over breakfast. I worry about him sometimes' Alice admits, playing with the pearls around her neck nervously.
'You don't have to worry about him' Edward explains uselessly, Alice smiles sadly and tucks her hair behind her ear. 'I do, I just, I always looked forward to planning your wedding Ed' Alice says changing the topic back to Jacob and himself. Edward ducks his head and scratches at the nape of his neck.
'Yeah well...' Edward mumbles, 'You'll always have...' Edward pauses, and looks back at Alice sadly.
There was no one left.
four.
To:
Date: 06/02/08
Subject: Holiday
Jacob,
Esme and Carlisle have decided to take us on another 'holiday'. I think this time we are going to Romania, I've never been to Romania before – believe it or not. So I am sort of excited. Anyway, Alice had some prediction that Jasper would do something romantic up there for her, so right now she is being exceedingly annoying and not getting off my case.
She also screams HI!
Carlisle is taking us 'hunting' in the forests of Romania. Esme is looking forward to new forests to explore. I just can't wait to get up there and hunt. Being near Bella is making it harder and harder to resist temptation. I don't know why. It's sort of scary. She's just Bella, why do I want her so badly?
You'd think logically that I'd want you more (in the way I am talking about). You're my boyfriend, and it's not like I secretly lust for Bella or something retarded like that. This is not some freaking pop culture novel I'm in, this is not fiction. I live this life day to day.
I can't wait to get to Romania. Hunting Jake, Hunting! I feel like the kid who's got their lolly stolen by some pompous jackass in a blue stripped pin suit. Whoever would still a lollipop from a baby has serious issues anyway. Lollipops only cost $1, if you can't afford one, you don't have the right to steal one.
I'm going to miss you. Not being able to stalk you while you are fixing your car, walking to school or work. Who's going to keep you company. I know that Bella and you aren't the best of friends since the whole "kiss" thing. Maybe Quil and that other brain dead friend of yours can keep you company.
I like Sam though. Stick with Sam and all the boys in the hood will fall for you. Sam is sort of a sweet heart. Well he is a sweet heart when he knows that he is not around vampires. When he does know he is around vampires, or when he smells my cologne and beautiful odour on you, he freaking goes wild. Like a pack of monkeys on a banana. Sam is sort of really attractive when he goes wild.
Sorry Jake I think you might have some competition. Alice is complaining, she wants me to tell her how she really looks in the dress she is wearing. Though it is proven fact that vampires always look smashingly beautiful. It's just she has a big date with Jasper tonight, and she doesn't want to ruin it. If she ruins it, oh will she cry.
I'll email you later, or talk to you, about when I am leaving, so at least you have some warning. I'll try and come when Billy is not around, because last time we nearly got caught wrestling in your back yard, and I really don't want an old man in a wheel chair chasing me all the way back to Forks with a shot gun and an M16. Not that it could kill me anyway.
Oh and I better be number one on your list when you marry Bella. If I am not at least invited, that means no more sex from me.
Oh Jake you'll make Billy proud.
Love,
Ed Cullen.
Date: 06/03/08
Subject: RE: Holiday
Edward,
Romania? That is a long way away. Why when you go on holidays does it have to be halfway around the world where there is a huge chance and possibility that I will never see you again? Carlisle picks the weirdest places to go 'hunting'. I don't think I will ever understand why the Fork's forest isn't good enough. But fine, you can go to Romania and sleep with beautiful Romanian women with thick heavy accents and breasts the size of watermelons drugged with steroids. But if you decide to order a mail order bride and bring her back to the states, I don't think I will ever talk to you again. Whether you stalk me or not. I just can't compete with such easiness.
Sam and Emily will be getting married soon. The wedding is going to be a beautiful sight. I know how Emily looked before the accident and even now, after going through so much pain and damage, she looks spectacular, and the way she still loves Sam, even after all the things he didn't mean to do, means that she is the best woman in the whole entire world. Sam deserves respect; he has gone through a lot of hard times in his life. Not that he'd appreciate it coming from a vampire. You disgusting animals =P
Tell Alice 'Hi'. It's funny that she is the only one in your entire family that knows about me. I think if it wasn't for her premonitions and freaky mind thing she does, no one would know. Are you embarrassed by me? For some reason I think that Werewolves have so much more hate towards Vampires, and that in the long run it is not recuperated tenfold. I don't think your family would mind if they knew about me.
Maybe Jasper though. Emmett seems like the kind of guy who wouldn't even blink twice if you brought back a donkey and pronounced you were lovers. But then that's bestiality and that's a whole different topic I am not willing to go on. Sex with animals is really, really disgusting.
If it makes you feel any better my dad doesn't own an M16. He owns a shot gun though, so i think you better get your running shoes on soon. He'd hate to know that his precious baby boy has been violated sexually by some heinous vampire. I think he'd hate it enough to kill the son of a bitch.
And Bella and I aren't getting married, we pinky promised and everything, and we all know that pinky promises cannot be broken, and if they are, for the rest of your life you will be totally miserable, yadayadayada send this to twenty other people or you'll be UNLUCKY IN LOVE TILL YOUR 50! THIS IS TOTALLY HONEST, IT HAPPENEDTO ME! SEND! OR BE LOVELESS TILL YOUR 50
Heh. My capslock sort of fucked up while writing that.
School tomorrow 'ah!'
Take me with you to Romania. Anything is better than 11th year science.
Love and hatred,
Jacob.
five.
Jacob slammed the door shut to the family Ute and made his way up the footpath. Billy wheeled behind him slowly, being pushed gently along by Rebecca who was humming a soft tune. A tune Jacob's mum sang when she made breakfast, when she cleaned the house, a second breath. Jacob remembered little about his mum, he knew the colour of her hair, and what TV shows she liked to watch after chores were done. He knew what her favourite ice-cream flavour was, and why she died. However he didn't know what the song was.
That made him sad.
He wished Edward was here.
He was in Romania, hunting. He'd be back in a week. A week felt like forever.
Forever felt like nothing.
That made him sad also.
to be continued