Chapter Two:

I do not own Harry Potter or any of the other characters. They all belong to JK Rowling.

He had come to win back Lily and now realised he went about it all wrong. But now, there were no more chances. It was over, and Severus had lost. James Potter had won. He was to be alone for the rest of his life. Severus was determined to now harden his heart. Love had no place in a rational world. Or at least in his heart. Severus vowed to close his heat off, to never let another person get that close again, that night.

Lily laid in bed, thinking about that day. The moon shone brightly into her room, making it easy for her to look at her wedding dress, hanging on the door. The white material looked pure against the dim backdrop of the dark room. She thought back to the day of her engagement to James.

"Lily, you know how I feel about you". James had stuttered. Lily had smiled and nodded, knowing what was coming. James had reached into his pocket, and pulled out a small ring box, which he opened, as he was kneeling in the park.

"Would you do me the honour of becoming my wife?" Lily had been shocked. Though she knew it was going to happen, it was still an unbelievable bolt from the blue that James was asking her to marry him.

"Yes. Oh god, yes!" Lily had said, as James happily slipped the ring onto her finger.

Now, lying in bed, Lily fingered the ring, looking at it. She loved James, she knew. But was it real love? Lily had often wondered, and even asked her friend, Alice, how one knows when they're in love. Alice had replied, rather cryptically,

"You just know. No hesitations. No questions. Only answers". Lily knew though she had questions about James. Though he loved her, he could be selfish. He could be emotionally selfish, withholding love, pouting if things didn't go his way. His mother had laughed it off, saying it was the Potter men's ways. Lily was scared. She had had a knot in her stomach for months. But she had ignored it to forge ahead with the wedding anyway. But now, with marriage and children staring her in the face, she could no longer ignore her feelings. She had always had feelings for Severus. She knew he could be kind, and even sweet sometimes.

What if James didn't change? Should she stay in this relationship and hope for the best? Was that fair to James or her? Should she give Severus a chance?

Lily must have fallen asleep while pondering these questions that appeared to have no answer because the next thing she knew it was morning and Alice was waking her up, saying "Lily…. Lily?"

"I'm up." Lily said groggily.

"You have to get up and have breakfast. And then start getting ready."

Lily sat up in bed, nodding at her friend. After Alice left her alone, Lily thought back onto her questions that continued to circle her heart. She realised though now she had started on this road with James. She could not run out on him. She would not. It would not be the honourable thing to do. Lily ate her breakfast, her heart pounded nervously. She knew what she had to do. She had to marry James, become his wife, and have children with him, like she had promised when he proposed.

The next day, Severus opened up the Daily Prophet, reading the articles inside. He closed it. Severus closed his eyes. He was sure that Lily and James were married by now. He was sure Lily looked beautiful, in a white dress, and that James smiled arrogantly having won. Severus paced back and forth in his small room before slamming his hand into the wall. A sense of rage built up in side of himself. He was angry with himself. He should never have spoken to Lily. He truly was a fool for doing so. He was unsure of where to go next. His plan for Lily had not worked out. He had hoped that she would maybe reconsider a relationship with him. And that somehow they would work out an arrangement of some sort. Or something like that. It occurred to him now that he hadn't really thought through the plan at all. With no plan, no Lily, no nothing, Severus left the room in a rage.

Draining the glass in front of him, Severus could feel his throat burning with the alcohol sliding down it. In this seedy bar, misery smothered him, as he choked back a cry. Soon his throat was numb, as his feelings would be too. Drinking never made things better but Severus believed it never hurt to try it out anyway.

"Don't you think you've had enough?" The bartender asked, looking concerned through his glasses. Severus shook his head, and said

"Two more please." The bartender sighed, shaking his head, before pouring out two more drinks.

As he downed these drinks too, Severus pulled out a letter from his jacket pocket. He read it again, though he had practically committed to memory the entire note already.

Dear Severus,

How are you, old chum?

I've spending a lot of time with the others; we're putting the plan into action, soon. It'll be great once we rule over the Muggles.

Are you sure you won't join us? You have nothing else to lose. And remember, Magic is might!

Yours,

Lucius Malfoy.

Severus' eyes watered as the page blurred before him. He wiped his eyes on his sleeve. Now that Lily had made her choice, Severus had to make his. Malfoy was right. Severus had little else in his life to lose – Lily was gone already.

Cheers erupted from a small garden area. Several men clapped their hands, whooping, and cheering on the scene that unfolded before them. Lily and James walked down the aisle, holding hands. Putting her finger to her lips, Lily shushed them.
"Calm down, ok?" James said, hushing down his friends. Lily looked at James. Though he was quieting his friends, he had a broad smile on his face, replacing a permanently concerned look etched in his features. Lily felt guilty. How could she have thought about leaving James? When he had been so sweet, and this had been one of the best days of her life? She touched her lips gently, feeling the remains of their kiss. She felt guilty for having thought of Severus, and his passionate kiss from the night before. Though James was who she loved, she could not leave Severus behind. He continued to lurk in her mind.

That night, as they laid in bed, James whispered to Lily,

"What are you thinking about?" He tenderly touched her face, pushing her auburn hair out of her eyes. Lily smiled, and shrugged. Her eyes lowered, not looking into James' questioning eyes.

"Nothing really. I'm a bit tired, shall we go to sleep?"

"Of course. Today was a big day, my dear." James kissed his wife softly on the cheek.

Lily turned onto her side, feeling James wrapping his arms around her waist. The first lie of their marriage. Lily had been thinking about Severus. About his lips, the kiss, and all those times in the forest when they were kids. She fell asleep with visions of Severus' lips touching her lips.

To be continued……