An uncomfortable silence ensured. Lily's hand remained on his wrist. Severus enjoyed her touch. Her hands were smooth, and soft, pleasing to feel. Without thinking, Lily leaned over and kissed Severus gently. She ran her fingers through his hair, feeling the slight greasiness to it. Lily felt his hand on the back of her neck, warm and smooth.

The next morning Lily awoke as the sun streamed in onto her face. Startled, she realised that it was seven 'o clock in the morning. James would be wondering where she was. Or had been all night. Climbing out of the bed, she pulled on her jumper. She looked over at the window, it showed a windy day. Sighing, she pulled on her trousers, and then her shoes. Severus woke up, saying softly "Where are you going?"

"I have to go back to James. He'll wonder where I've been."

"Can't you stay a bit longer?" Severus said, looking at Lily. She shook her head.

"I must go, I'm sorry."

Severus then turned hard. "Fine, leave then." He turned away from her, pulling the thin sheet around himself.

Lily started towards the door, then stopped.

"Severus, if it's meant to be, chances are we'll find each other again."

There was no response from Severus, who remained with his back to her.

Lily opened the door, the hinges creaked loudly. Once out in the cold day, she felt tears run down her face.

Once Severus was sure Lily was gone, he got up. Shaking his head, he cursed himself. What was wrong with him? Why couldn't he be kind and gentle?

Frustrated with himself, Severus threw on some clothes. He needed to prepare for working at Hogwarts. He needed new clothes, and some potions ingredients.

Lily slipped her key into the lock of her home. Before she could turn it, James threw the door open.
"Lily! Where have you been?" He said. Lily looked at her husband. His eyes were bloodshot, his hair sticking up everywhere. He looked scared, worried and tired.

"I'm sorry. I needed to get away from here. I'm sorry." Lily felt tears running down her face once more. She felt James wrap his arms around her. She was enveloped into a strong hold.

"It's ok." James said shushing her sobs. He led Lily inside where she was put to bed. She slept for the rest of the day.

Back in his room, after his uneventful trip to the shops, Severus drank some tea slowly. He thought back over his night with Lily. It was almost too precious to think about. Though he wanted to savour every moment. Every breath and sigh. Every touch and feeling. He could hardly believe that Lily had 

allowed this to happen. Though Severus, in his crude moments, had wondered what it would be like, he had always refrained from thinking too deeply about it. Now, alone in this dark room, Severus allowed his mind to wander over these moments. To relive them in his head. Remeberiung how he ruined it all with his harsh ways. The bitterness inside Severus ate him up, and swallowed him whole. He could never be kind to anyone, not even Lily. This he regretted.

The next few nights, and days passed by, slowly. Lily tried her best to forget about Severus. To erase him from her mind. She turned her attentions to James, who was still worried after her disappearance. Making love with James did little to ease her mind. Though she loved his touch against her skin, it only reminded her of the night with Severus. So she tried to fill the days with work. She wrote letters to family and friends, cleaned almost obsessively, and cooked elaborate meals. James was pleased, thinking Lily had settled into their new life, enjoying being a stay-at-home wife. Little did James know that Lily was trying to protect herself, and him from her secret. Though Lily often told James everything about her – There was little he didn't know – She could never tell him about Severus.

Soon, Severus had to leave for Hogwarts. Dumbledore had requested the teachers come early, so they may go over what was to happen that year. Severus was nervous. Not only did he have to spy on Dumbledore, and report to the Dark Lord, he also had to teach a bunch of kids. Children who would mock him behind his back, make up jokes about him. Shaking these thoughts from his head, he began to pack his things. He had a long journey ahead of him.

Riding on the train, Severus was left alone with his thoughts. Trees dashed by, looking more and more blurred as the train went on its journey to Hogwarts. The other teachers on the train sat with each other, Severus preferring to sit by himself. It was like his days back as a student at Hogwarts. Before he and Lily stopped being friends. He remembered those lonely days. Joining the Death Eaters did not fill the void in his heart. He was still as lonely as ever.

Arriving at Hogwarts, Severus watched the other teachers being greeted by Dumbledore. Then the headmaster came over to Severus, and shook his hand.

"I'm pleased to see you here. Come into the Great Hall." Then Dumbledore addressed the others.

"We are to have a feast, then we will go over the rules of Hogwarts – There are some new teachers this year – and organize rooms." He then gestured for everyone to follow him.

Severus walked behind the others. He simply couldn't believe he was at Hogwarts once more. When he had graduated, he felt for sure, he wouldn't return. Now, looking around himself, it felt as though nothing had changed. Severus was taken back to his first day at Hogwarts.

Sitting with Lily on the train, he had been very excited about his first day. Hogwarts would be a new start. A chance to escape his home, and find a new home. Lily had been fearful of Hogwarts. As a muggleborn, she'd known little about the world of magic. While Severus' father had disapproved of magic, his mother had taught him some before. Always in secret, she'd warn him against telling his father.



"This is just for us, ok?" Severus remembered looking up at her face, worn from their hard life. Nodding, he would be eager to learn more.

Finally the small group reached the Great Hall, pulling Severus out of his dreams.