This was suggested by Lady Temptress.
It takes place shortly after Tousen's betrayal.
I blame Kazeshini's attitude on the fact that I was listening to old school rock out music like Def Leopard and Warrent when writing this because deep down we all know Hisagi's a rock star.
"I am so bored."
Hisagi ignored the groan and continued to work on editing the latest batch of articles for the news magazine. Matsumoto had been late as usual and he was struggling to keep up. How the hell Tousen pulled this off while being blind he had no idea.
"Its ironic don't you think? You know, the whole blind-but-works-in-publishing-thing," a low chuckle reached his ear.
Hisagi raised his eyes. Sitting in the Captain's chair with his feet propped on the Captain's desk was a man in a long black cloak. The cloak was hooded and his features were masked in darkness. He wore black pants and boots, not an inch of skin showing. Hisagi knew he had no skin because once when he moved his wrist, the glove he wore had shifted and exposed something white. Something bone white. It was then Hisagi realized that his Zanpakto looked, quite literally, like a version of death.
He looked like the grim reaper.
Sarcastic, immature and possibly sociopathic to boot it was a wonder that Hisagi even acknowledged his Zanpakto at all. Kazeshini didn't particularly care either way. Captain Tousen had always talked about the path of least bloodshed and he had a Zanpakto that was essentially useless for anything but. There was no way to follow the path of least bloodshed when he couldn't even really use his shikai for defense.
Of course his relationship with Kazeshini hadn't exactly gotten off to a wonderful start either. His Zanpakto had taken it upon himself to first speak to Hisagi the night wen he returned after the fateful mission to the transient world where he had been scarred. Hisagi had been terrified of being n the room alone but somehow looking over and seeing death itself on the bed of his old room mate who was, in fact, dead, was not what he had in mind. It didn't help that Kazeshini had doubled over laughing at his shocked expression. Hisagi had not seen the humor in it.
He didn't see the humor in it either when he manifested his shikai which was both awkward and good for only one thing: killing. He had ignored Kazeshini for a very long time. The problem was that his Zanpakto spirit would not go away. Every dark thought, everything Hisagi wanted to tell Tousen's stupid blind face, Kazeshini said aloud. He had taken up occupation on Tousen's desk recently as Hisagi refused to go near the thing. From what Hisagi could see everyone else seemed to get along with their Zanpakto Spirits. Even Kira and Wabisuke were happy in their misery. But he couldn't get a Zanpakto like that, he had to get one who seemed to be everything he fought against. He tried to be good and mature, an example to others but Kazeshini was absolutely fine just kicking ass and keeping a running commentary of everything Hisagi never could bring himself say.
When he was sober anyway.
"Let go," Kazeshini said, "come on, I bet Matsumoto's got the sake flowing by now."
"She's the reason we're stuck here," Hisagi said cooly.
Kazeshini gave a snort, as though Hisagi was wrong. Hisagi tightened his grip on his brush. It was no wonder people thought he was patient. His Zanpakto had the maturity level of an child--if that. He liked Matsumoto for one reason and one reason only. And it did not have to do with her personality.
"Oy," he looked over at his Zanpakto, "does that stick up your ass ever get uncomfortable?"
"Wh you--" Hisagi was on his feet in seconds.
"Ah ah ah," Kazeshini gave a waggle of his finger, "bloodshed's bad remember," Hisagi clenched his fist hard enough to leave marks on his palm. Unexpectedly he got up and marched out, leaving his Zanpakto on the desk.
Kazeshini watched him storm out with a roll of his eyes. Hisagi was being an idiot. He still half believed Tousen had a reason--besides stupidity--for betraying them. It was that stupid blind fuck's fault that Hisagi hated him. He was a cool Zanpakto but his Shinigami had been wooed by that whole "fear the sword to be worthy to weild it" bullshit that his Captain had the bad habit of spewing. Even now he was half believing that Tousen was going to walk through those doors or send a message and reveal himself to be on their side. Of course Kazeshini knew better but Hisagi wasn't going to see reason anytime soon.
Not without a little help anyway.
"Oy! Wabisuke!"
Wabisuke came slouching over as always. If one were to look up the word lazy in the dictionary they would get a picture of the blond haired, blue eyed Wabisuke. Wabisuke had to be the single laziest Zanpakto this side of the 11th Division. His ability stemmed far more from his desire to just get a battle over with than from any kind of misery. Kazeshini might have been good at killing people but there was something to be said for a Zanpakto who took the shape of an upwards guillotine and decapitated people when they couldn't even pick up their swords.
"What do you want?" he demanded glaring at Kazeshini.
"I need your help," Wabisuke arched an eyebrow, "my Shingiami's being an idiot."
"Surprise surprise," Wabisuke muttered.
"Just shut up and gimme a hand," Kazeshini snapped.
Twenty minuets later a drunk Kira dumped an equally intoxicated Hisagi onto the grave of a pacifist who was probably not thrilled with how her sword was being used at the moment. Hisagi missed that as he shoved himself up, prepared to spit all kinds of fury at them for disrespecting the grave, his Captain and the woman who inspired him. Unfortunately Kira was drunk and when Kira got drunk he got about as intolerant as Wabisuke so when Hisagi went to rise he slammed him back to the ground.
"He isn't coming back," Kira snapped, "there's nothing noble about what he did and the sooner you fucking realize that the sooner we can figure out what the hell we're supposed to do now," the Third Division Lieutenant threw Kazeshini down in front of Hisagi, "now deal with him!"
Kazeshini crossed his arms and looked at Hisagi. His Shinigami shifted but wouldn't look at him and Kazeshini had a feeling it had little to do with the alcohol he had ingested.
"What?" he asked when Kazeshini kept glaring at him intently.
"That is what this whole no-blooshed crap gets you," he said pointing at the ground, "now grow a pair and learn to fight."
"I can fight!" he shoved himself up, ignoring the way the world lurched, "I can--you know I can fight! You're my fucking Zanpakto!"
"I'm your what?" Kazeshini demanded with disbelief, "I can't remember the last time my Shikai saw the light of day," he glanced up, "or night for that matter."
Hisagi looked down.
"We're supposed to lead the Division."
Kazeshini crossed his arms as his Shinigami spoke, bitterness in his voice. He knew the Division had mixed feelings about their Lieutenant. Not for any reason that particularly made sense but far more because he refused to make a secret of his reason for joining. Hisagi had joined at a Seventh Seat, turning down offers to be Fifth and Third Seats in other Divisions. And then he hadn't made it a secret that he did it because the only Division he had any interest in joining was the Ninth and that was because of Kensei Muguruma, a man considered to be a traitor. That made two traitorous Captains for the Ninth Division which was now expected to be lead by a man who refused to release his Shikai or denounce either of them.
Kazeshini knew he had a connection to Muguruma's Tachikaze. He knew he was way more powerful than he was given credit for. He also knew that he was sick and tired of his Shinigami acting all ashamed because his traitor of a Captain had beaten it into him that he was supposed to be all noble and shit. Kazeshini longed for the days when Hisagi had wanted to be like Kensei, that whole I-kill-you-with-one-badass-blow thing, that was way more his style. Sighing he dropped down next to his Shingiami on the cold dirt on the grave.
"We ain't that different," he said, "you and I. I'm just a bit cooler than you."
"Shut up," Hisagi said, his grin belaying the words.
"What? I am," he shrugged, "its okay, really. You can bask in my glory, I don't mind," he said.
"We have to lead a Division," Hisagi groaned and fell back onto his forearms, "fuck."
"Yeah," Kazeshini fell back on his own forearms, "and you didn't finish that editing either."
Hisagi laughed at that and soon Kazeshini joined in.
In the coming months Kazeshini's shikai would see the light of day, of night, of every damn training hall in the Ninth Division. When it came time to wipe the floor with Findor Carias he would and though he would say that he didn't like his Shikai and spout something noble that would do Tousen proud, Kazeshini knew inside he was thinking one thing.
Fuck, yeah.