I own none of these characters or have any rights to J.K. Rowling's work or Anne Rice's work. I do however own copies of their work and enjoy said copies very much.

Ch. 14 Pineapple Express

"No!" Ginny Gasped

"I swear on honor as a marauder"

"Moony too?" Harry asked he just couldn't believe what he was hearing

"Especially Moony. How do you think Mr. School Prefect McFuture-Professor gained our respect in the first place? He tries to hide it but his wild streak reviled only by your fathers and mine."

"You know that does kind of explain a lot. Like I always thought him and Tonks where a bit mismatched as a couple but I never said anything because they seemed happy together but things make a lot more since now I know this about him…I can understand why he never told me either. Oh this is going to be fun."

"Yes Moony was a pretty big trouble maker in his day"

"I guess" Ginny said exasperated. "Well I've had enough shock a pregnant woman can handle for right now. I think I'll go start dinner if you don't mind"

"No I certainly don't" Sirius said trying to pour on the charm

"Well of course you don't, anything to do with food and you're all over it" Ginny snapped back

"Hey I starved in Azkaban for twelve years!"

"We know we know but the fact of the matter is you were like this when you were a kid too. Don't try to deny it. I've seen the way you eat at lunch in the great hall."

"You can't fault me for that either! I was a growing boy back then…er now…plus all that business I just told you about"

"Ok I'll give that one, so when can I catch you guys doing said badness?"

"The third Friday of every month" Sirius said thoughtfully

"Ok to is the third week of September now so I just have to be doing my petrol duties and stumble upon them right?" Harry asked

"Exactly"

"Great I'll have to volunteer at the teachers meeting tomorrow morning. Albus will be happy nobody likes volunteering for Friday night petrol. I hate having to plan all this stuff out for something so simple."

"I know but the Author needs a lot of filler or people will flame her for making the chapter too short." Sirius said

"Is that what this is?" Harry asked

"You mean the stuff we're saying right now at this very moment?"

"Yes that's what I mean."

"Yes"

"Yeah on that note do you think the title of this chapter is a bit obvious?" Harry asked

"I don't really know. It really depend if you have seen that movie. I know the author had some big doubts about it." Sirius answered

"Not very professional is it? I mean you should have everything planed out and worded exactly as you want it in various drafts before you right it all down." Harry said sounding eerily like his future sister in law Hermione.

"Professional? We're talking about a bored dyslexic college student who shows up to class hangover, and then instead of paying attention to the subject matter rights this drivel on her lap top pretending to take notes. She's not Anne bleeding Rice you know.

"Oh I love Anne Rice"

"Yeah she's a doll although I'm not really in to her newer works"

"Yeah I'm particularly fond of Blackwood Farm myself. One of her more eccentric works if you ask me." Harry said

"Yeah but some parts in it don't make much sense unless you read what? The first eight books in the vampire chronicles?" Sirius asked

"Not necessarily you might be able to skip over Interview with the Vampire, Queen of the Damned, The Vampire Armand, and Blood and Gold and just read The Vampire Lestat, , Memnoch the Devil, Tale of the body thief and Merrick for Blackwood Farm to make sense but those all are really good books any way.

"My Favorite is the Sleeping Beauty Trilogy"

Harry sighed "That would be your favorite wouldn't it? Always whores with you!..Wait isn't there a lot of guy on guy in those books too?"

"I skip over those parts. Maybe we should get back to the story"

"Yeah maybe we should. This could quickly become a discussion on S&M porn otherwise."

FRIDAY NIGHT

Harry was patrolling a hallway when the door to the room of requirement appeared for him.

"Good room" he cooed patting the handle of the door as if it were a dog.

He opened the door and an acrid smelling mist wafted around him. 'Just as Sirius said' he thought to himself. He slowly crept into the room making sure the marauders didn't hear him. When he looked around he noticed a small muggle movie screen was up and was playing an episode of Monty Pythons Flying Circus. Right now the Ministry of Silly Walks Sketch was playing being accompanied by a lot of snickering. He took this opportunity to announce his arrival.

"Hm Hmm" he cleared his throat

The three Marauders occupying the room jumped and looked behind them the blood shot eyes and mouths wide open.

"Oh fuck me where so dead" Sirius whimpered

Harry just took the joint out of his hand "Well what do we have here?"

"Sir we…we can explain…" James began

"No seriously what do we have here? White widow? Frankenstein? Hydroponic?" Harry asked and then to their amazement took a drag off the joint!

He then turned to Remus "Damn boy! Where'd you get this the Netherlands? Buds must have left its parents on Krypton…shit" he then to another hit. "I'll tell you what I'll let you off the hook if you do me a favor"

"What favor is that?" James asked

"I'll think of something. Let's not worry about it till Monday. Shall we? In the mean time how bout we get some snacks?"

"That sounds awesome" Sirius said in his stoned stupor. Very relived he wasn't getting expelled tonight.

"Hey house elf!" Harry called. One of them immediately popped in

"What can Yippy dos for sirs?" it asked

"Some snacks would be great Yippy" Harry said rolling another joint. The elf popped back out and returned with a tray full of small sandwiches and sweets.

"Will this be doing sirs?"

"Yes Yippy thank you very mummen…" Harry mumbled stuffing a whole finger sandwich in his mouth then the elf left.

"Hey…hey guys" Sirius was now snickering to himself about something "I…I just realized something, Than-Q!" it was followed by raucous laughter by the rest of the party.

"Hey Padfoot I just realized something too"

"What is it Prongsie?"

"If there were two of you, you'd be Sirii!"

For some reason (probably the pot) this comment made Harry spray the pumpkin juice he'd been sipping in laughter

James, Sirius, and Remus started to giggle hysterically. "And…and moony would be Remi!" Sirius continued between fits of laughter.

"Hay guys you know what's really funny?" Harry asked

"What?" James said finally calming down

Harry dawned a straight face and looked at them "…Chicken Monkey" this sent the occupants in the room into peals of laughter and all of them ended up rolling on the floor holding their sides.

"That was very yes" Sirius said gasping for breath.

James looked at him "did you just say that was very yes?"

Sirius looked thoughtful "yeah I did" he admitted. And then they all cracked up again.