Author's Note: PLEASE PRETEND THAT THIS IS LIKE…THE DAYS AFTER CHRISTMAS. I kind of died and went away for a little while. All after Christmas I had to start preparing for my final exams. I'm a bit of a study freak. Now, I get a little time to write this weekend before I start my new classes…basically, I'm taking everything by a week to week basis. I can't promise anything. Hope people are still interested in this story! 10 chapters, w00t!

Disclaimer:…no

"Inspire Me"

Chapter 10: Trepidation

Allen sat quietly on the same couch with Kanda. Everyone else had left, yet they still sat there, pondering their next move. Allen would love it if Kanda would agree to just let them become a couple. He had already kissed him practically before the whole Order. What was there to lose? His pride?

Allen giggled, searching for a question that would get the angry samurai's attention, "So, Kanda. You've always wanted to kill Lavi. Now's your chance—you're probably angry enough. Just inform me; which is the best way to kill a rabbit?"

Kanda turned his head to Allen and looked at the boy's bright grey eyes. Kanda knew he was just kidding, "I'll skin him. Roast him. Then give it to Jerry so he could make a dish out of him." Kanda then turned so he was fully facing Allen, swinging his legs up onto the couch Indian-style, "Tell me, Moyashi…you like food. What goes with rabbit?"

Allen turned to face Kanda fully, tucking his legs to the side of him grasping a pillow in his lap, "Oh, I think he'd go well in a stew. Soup du jour—Crème de la roasted Lavi!" Allen giggled into the pillow.

Kanda smirked, slightly amused at their running joke, "I don't know if anyone would eat it though…what are the pros and cons of eating a Lavi?"

"Well," Allen began in a voice deeper than his own, "There really aren't any pluses you can gain by eating a Lavi. However, there are many drawbacks—such as he is high in fat, lacking in meat in the head section, if you catch my drift, and you may very well get diabetes. In worst cases, an internal organ may explode."

Kanda laughed dryly and ruffled Allen's hair, "Maybe we shouldn't serve him to anyone?"

"Nah, we can give him to Hitler-moustache man."

"And Link, too. There's enough Lavi for the both of them."

Lavi was feeling horrible. In the 10 minutes it took him to put his pajamas on and brush his hair and teeth, he must have sneezed about 30 times.

He clutched his head as he sneezed once again, "Kanda…stop it."

He sneezed once more, "Allen!! I thought we were friends!"

As soon as he wiped his nose, another sneeze violently escaped him, "WHY?!"

"Beansprout…"

"Yah?" They were currently on their way to their rooms, Kanda walking Allen to his first, making sure he didn't get lost.

"What are we going to do about that Usagi's present?"

"Seriously?"

Kanda grumbled and pinched himself trying to not curse at the younger boy, "Yes. Seriously."

"Well…" Allen contemplated for a little while. However, as soon as Allen saw his familiar door, he smiled and answered, "Whatever you want to do, Kanda. Goodnight."

Allen closed his door without waiting for Kanda's reply. The samurai, beyond annoyed at the world it seemed, stomped back to his own room, "I don't want to think about it by myself, you retard."

Kanda hadn't gotten any sleep that night. He broke his routine and decided to not train that morning, for the simple reason that he didn't have enough energy. It's not like Kanda stayed awake all night thinking about an answer about his and Allen's dilemma, he just stared at the ceiling all night and sleep never came to him.

Allen came to sit next to him that morning in the cafeteria, a mountain of breakfast food items teetering on his tray, along with his usual dango and sweets, "Good morning, Kanda."

Kanda tried to look up at Allen and respond, but it turned out looking more like a twitch, and sounding more like a dying animal's last grunts of life. Allen looked at him worriedly, but continued to eat next to him. Every so often, Allen stole glances at the swordsman, peeking to see if there had been any signs of life. The white-haired exorcist was relieved when Kanda decided to pick up his chopsticks.

"Hatred…immense hatred…hatred…Usagi…death," Kanda grumbled to his soba noodles, repeatedly stabbing them with the chopsticks he finally had the will to pick up, his eyes shrouded by his thick layer of dark raven bangs.

Allen stared wide-eyed at him, hoping that it wasn't some kind of ancient Japanese for of voodoo. He considered warning Lavi, but thought it was too much trouble, especially if Kanda was going to start muttering Allen's name while he bashed his favorite soba dish.

Allen was a bit worried, it was already the day before new year's eve, and Kanda hadn't come to him with his decision at all. They basically had two days left to do something, anything. The young exorcist wandered the hallways, searching for Kanda. When he found the training room, he found Kanda beating up a punching bag with all his might grinding out Lavi's nickname.

"Uhm, Kanda?" Allen said timidly, hoping to not get run through by a mentally disturbed Kanda, "Did you think any more about our…situation?"

Kanda watched triumphantly as the sand spilled out of the punching bag, "Maybe."

"….That's not an answer, Kanda."

"Che." Kanda moved on to the next punching bag, this time using only his fists to try to break it open.

"Kanda…I like you so…"

He didn't pay any attention; he was lost in the chanting of Lavi's name mixed with the word death.

"Kanda…could you please listen?"

Still nothing, Kanda was concentrating as the bag swung back and forth to him in time with his punches. As soon as it would get close enough to hit him, the dark-haired exorcist would brutally punch it away.

"…..YU!"

"Wha—," unfortunately, Kanda was hit by the punching bag mid question.

"S-sorry, about that, Kanda."

Kanda sighed and stood up, "Now…what do you want from me?"

Allen furrowed his brows at the question's wording, "Well…"

"Spit it out."

Allen huffed, annoyed, he turned on his heels back towards the exit, "Never mind, Kanda…"

"OI. Come back here!" Kanda ran his way a little bit, but before he could pick up any speed, Allen was out the door already, "Shit…"

"HAHAHA! You fucked up, Yu-chan!" Lavi popped out from behind the pillar, attempting to give the swordsman a noggie.

"YOU! Why the FUCK are you EVERYWHERE?!" Kanda roared, tossing the redhead off him.

"I dunno. But it's pretty cool, right?" Lavi laughed, brushing some dirt off his clothes.

"What do you want from me?"

"Au contraire, my friend. I'm doing something for you!"

"You're making me hate the world."

"I'm teaching you a valuable lesson."

"That friends like you suck?"

"I didn't know you though of me as you're friend! I'm so happy!"

"I wish you were dead."

"I'm not dying anytime soon. Get over it."

"Fuck you."

"Anyway…did you even hear what Allen said?"

"No. I was busy envisioning your death."

"He just told you he liked you, and you totally blew him off. Totally ace performance, by the way," Lavi said the last part sarcastically.

"I don't give a shit if he said he li—," Kanda stopped to let his brain process a bit, "Wait…he said that?"

"Yeah. And you totally ignored him."

"This is YOUR fault."

"It's not my fault that you ignored your boyfriend."

"He's…not my boyfriend," the word sounded alien on Kanda's tongue.

"Oh, but he really could be…if you'd just treat him a bit better more often."

"I…treat him fine," Kanda muttered, voice a bit small for his liking.

"You only treat him better than you used to," Lavi crossed his arms as he made his point.

"…it's still an improvement?" All of Kanda's fire died on that last statement, which didn't come out like one at all.

"It's not good enough."

Kanda contemplated his options, "…you're a sick, sick person."

"That's got nothing to do with this."

"What is THIS?" Kanda flailed his arms.

"Your LOVE LIFE. Duh," Lavi whacked Kanda on the head lightly, "Now, if we don't get a move on, who knows who'll snatch Allen up?"

"….teach me. NOW."

"Tim…I can't believe I fell for a completely rude and insensitive guy," Allen complained to the golden golem resting atop his snow white hair.

Allen sighed, "This isn't going to work out, is it Tim?"

The golden golem responded by pulling on Allen's hair enough to hurt. The exorcist untangled the golem from his hair and tossed it away from him, knowing that he wouldn't hurt it that way, anyway.

"You're right, Tim. I like him. But there's no way his bipolar arse is going to confess to me and the whole Order that he likes me AND will be willing to date me and such…"

Allen sighed again before crossing December 30th off his calendar, "One more day, Tim."

"This…is really hopeless…," Lavi nearly cried for his best friend.

"No shit."

"I mean, seriously."

"If you admit this defeat, does that mean you won't show whatever you've been hiding?"

"Not a chance, Yu-chan!" Lavi sung and skipped to find a brush for Kanda's hair, "Do you think Allen likes your hair up or down?"

"Why would I know?"

Kanda reluctantly let Lavi brush his hair, "We'll leave it down for today."

"I hate you. It's going to get in my face."

"Like those bangs don't?"

"Shut up…," Kanda laced up his boot, "What if he hates me now?"

"Are you seriously worried if someone doesn't like you, Kanda?" Lavi sounded a bit shocked.

Kanda elbowed him from his place on the stool, "It's kind of what this is all about."

"I know. Allen's not the kind of person who hates people. So…no worries?"

"….you don't sound too confident when you say that. Besides, why are you helping me? Isn't this kind of ruining your own game?"

"But…you're my best friend first of all, so…"

"Yeah, yeahh…"

"Go get 'im, tiger!"

Allen heard a knock at his door, but only rolled over. When the knocking turned into angry raps at his door, he pulled the pillow over his face. He knew the only one who would knock like that on his door without saying who it was would be Kanda.

Soon, Allen fell back asleep for an hour until he heard another rhythmic knocking, "It's your bestest buddy ever, LAVI!!"

"Tim, open the door."

Lavi bounced into the room, hopping on Allen's bed, "It's New Year's Eve, dummy! Get up and get dressed!"

"You know you've won your stupid game already, stop bothering me." Allen rolled onto his stomach so he wouldn't have to look at the redhead.

"Aw, c'mon Allen! Don't be like that!"

Allen muffled something into his pillow.

"Whatchu say?" Lavi cupped a hand to his ear.

Allen picked up his head, "Fuck you, asshole."

Lavi was absolutely shocked, "Allen, you never curse! Why at me?!"

When the white-haired boy didn't respond to that Lavi tried to lighten the mood, "You've been hanging around Yu too long. Hahaha."

Allen still didn't respond, so he tried the tactic he knew would ALWAYS work with Allen, "Jerry's cooking a special New Year's Eve breakfast."

"When?" Allen questioned, anger still present in his voice.

"In about 10 minutes."

"I'll be there. Get out." Lavi was immediately chased out by Tim and shut out of the room.

Kanda came from behind the corner, a quizzical look displayed, "What happened to you?"

"Allen's mad…reeeeeaaaallly mad…"

Kanda was a bit fearful, "….exactly how mad?"

"Like…he cursed at me twice mad. You're in deep trouble, Yu," Lavi admitted, "As far as he thinks, he's given up on the contest. It took the promise of food to get him out of bed."

"I hate you" was all Kanda could say.

Allen trudged down the hallways to the cafeteria, patting down his messy hair. He grabbed a tray and miraculously, Jerry had already completed his favorite dishes. Allen guessed that the "special" part was some of the decorative streamers sticking out of some of the food. Allen sighed loudly, looking for a seat.

"Allen, there's a seat here," Allen was surprised at Kanda calling out to him, but shook it off casually and started eating at the indicated place.

"Do…do you need anything else?" Kanda was trying really hard to keep his voice even and somewhat nice sounding.

Allen laughed on the inside, but didn't make a sound.

Lavi stared wide-eyed at how bad the situation had become, "Allen? Did you not hear or something?"

Allen stopped eating for a brief moment to push an empty plate aside before digging in some more. Mouth full Allen piped up, "Not from you."

Lavi gave Kanda a look that pretty much said 'that's cold.'

Allen topped of that plate and Kanda tried again, "You finished that plate pretty quickly. Did you like what was on it? Do…you want some more of it?"

Allen secretly wanted to hug Kanda for trying so hard to be nice, but leading him on was just too much fun, "No. Just eat your own stuff and let me be."

Kanda frustrated settled for snapping his chopsticks in half instead of breaking Lavi's neck in two. Lavi kicked him under the table, and he knew that he needed to keep working it.

"Allen…"

"What?"

"Uh, there's going to be a…fireworks show tonight…"

"I know."

"The whole Order's going to be there."

"Basically."

"There's….going to be lots of fireworks…," Kanda was losing it.

"No shit."

Stunned at Allen's use of a curse word, Kanda gripped the table, "Are you going?"

"The whole Order's going to be there, so I'm guessing YEAH." Allen stood with his tray full of empty dishes and started to leave the cafeteria.

Kanda's brain ticked a little slow, this was all new to him—chasing after something he wanted. Another kick from Lavi and he sprinted after the boy.

"Stop running away from me!"

"Kanda, I'm not runni—,"

" 'Briskly walking' I KNOW!" Kanda huffed and kept a hand strongly on the door, blocking Allen's way out.

"What do you want?"

Kanda ground his teeth together, but when he saw Lavi giving him a big NO sign, he know he had to ask Allen properly, "Will. You. Go. With. Me?"

Allen giggled and dropped the mad act, "Sure! Meet me later."

The smaller boy gave Kanda a peck on the cheek before skipping past him back to his room.

"Hahaha," Lavi laughed, letting out the breath he's been holding, "That was TOUGH. I was so sure he was mad at you."

"Wasn't he?"

"Nah, the Brit was probably acting so he could get that out of you. He's not THAT fickle."

"….I hate him."

"Nah, you love him, silly. Now let's get ready."

Author's Note: When I was writing this…I realized that the next chapter…might be the last one!! D=