"I love you, Mitchie."
They were the words I'd been waiting to hear for four years. Waiting since the first time he took me for a ride in his car. I was the quiet, pretty little freshman, and he was the most popular guy in senior class. He and his band had just gotten a record deal, and right after graduation, they were moving out to LA. Every girl in school wanted him, but he took me for a drive. And I fell for him. I fell hard. And ever since he'd parked his car in a secluded place at the end of one of the long dirt roads on the edge of town, I'd been waiting to hear him say it.
The next day at school, I wanted to scream it from the rooftops, but it had to be "our little secret, baby." He and the guys in his band had to pretend to be available – that was part of their rock star appeal. But "you know you're my only girl, Mitch." Even though every Monday morning the school would be buzzing about which cheerleader had gone out with Shane Gray that weekend, they were all just rumors and "it really hurts me that you would believe that stupid gossip." They were obviously just jealous of what we had. So I got in the car. Every single time he asked me to.
He always wanted a real relationship with me, but it was "just not the right time, ya know. You understand, don't you, baby?" It was never the right time, even after his graduation. But I understood. It was just "with recording, and the tour, and the distance and everything, I'm not able to be the boyfriend you deserve right now." But, when he did come back home, I could always expect him to pull up in front of my house and honk his horn, and then we'd go for a drive. Just like the first time. The old silver Grand Am had been replaced with a brand new black Porsche, but other than that, it was just like the first time.
And when I saw him on television at awards' shows with those pretty blonde girls, they were just "a way to make connections. This business is all about who you know, Mitch. You get that, right?" Of course, I understood.
He didn't come to my graduation. It would have been "too obvious" if he came and was seen talking to me. I went to college. He kept "trying to find time, baby" to visit me, but he was so busy. He'd even been in the area once for a show, and he didn't call.
And then, I started to understand. To really understand – not like I "understood" all of his lies. For four years, I had been waiting patiently for "the right time." I finally realized it was never going to come. I cried for days.
I met another guy. I wasn't in love with him like I was with Shane, but he was nice, he made me laugh, and I was lonely, so we started dating. And then today, Shane called. Said he was in the area for a show, asked me if I wanted to "you know…go for a drive." I told him I had a boyfriend. And now here he was, standing in front of me, saying those words I'd been dying to hear for four years.
But now, I could see how hollow they were. How after I melted into his arms, gotten in his car, and given him what he wanted…it still wouldn't be "the right time." And I would be crushed. But he would be happy – he'd gotten what he wanted. It didn't matter how selfish he had to be to get it. It made me want to cry, how carelessly he threw around those words. I doubt I was the first to hear them.
"Mitch, did you hear me? I said I…"
"Go to hell, Shane."