If I were a boy I think I could understand How it feels to love a girl I swear I'd be a better man. I'd listen to her Cause I know how it hurts When you lose the one you wanted Cause he's taken you for granted And everything you had got destroyed
It's a little too late for you to come back Say its just a mistake Think I'd forgive you like that If you thought I would wait for you You thought wrong
But you're just a boy You don't understand Yeah you don't understand How it feels to love a girl someday You wish you were a better man You don't listen to her You don't care how it hurts Until you lose the one you wanted Cause you've taken her for granted And everything you have got destroyed But you're just a boy
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
4 Months, 2 Weeks, 3 Day's, 2 Hours and 55 Minutes.
It's raining again, I swear it's like an omen or something. It rained the day I found out I was pregnant. It rained the day I left Tree Hill. Rained the day I moved to New York. Poured it down the day of my first ultrasound, and again at my second one here in New York. It's raining now as I write my first letter to Lucas, I'm getting the feeling that rain is going to be significant through this pregnancy.
I don't know if I'll ever give the letters to him. But I'm feeling this overwhelming need to write to him. The first month was the hardest, my mom said I was going through the motions. It hurt so much, it still hurts. I really thought he would come after us, but I think I was holding onto hope that had already faded. I'm not angry anymore, well not much just really disappointed. I knew he loved Peyton, I mean it was inevitable right? The tortured artist meets the tortured athlete, it was destined. I could never compete with that, but it doesn't make it hurt any less. I miss him so much, and with every day that passes the ache in my heart grows and I don't know how to stop it. Because I know in my heart that, Lucas Scott is the guy for me.
It hurt so much when Haley told me he wasn't coming, for a whole month I had convinced myself he'd come for us. But with every day that passed, my heart ached some more, and the disappointment grew. A month later and I let it go, he wasn't coming for us. Not now, not ever. Haley told me to give it some time, that he was just scared and holding onto the only thing he's ever known. His love for Peyton Sawyer. But I can't come second to that anymore and I won't let my child feel that pain. It's ok for Haley to say that, she has her husband standing by her and her child. While the father of mine is off having his happy ever after with my so called back stabbing ex best friend. So bitter much, hell yes.
Yes, it's true that I love Lucas Scott and I probably always will. But this ache in my heart grows with every day, and I don't know how to get past that. He's a coward, and I deserve more. I deserve better. I can't keep holding onto you Lucas Scott, cause' it all hurts too much.
Tears cascaded down her porcelain face, she slowly wiped them away. Holding her stomach she slowly made her way to the window of her penthouse apartment and slowly traced the raindrops. Thinking back to the night she had done the same back in Tree Hill. She gave a small chuckle before wrapping her arms protectively around herself, and looking out of the window to the view that welcomed her. Bright lights shone brightly, sighing she made her way back to the seating area to finish her letter.
Dear Lucas,
I'm sorry I left the way I did. But with the way we left things, I felt like it was the only way forward. I want you to know that I forgive you for what you did with Peyton. I cannot say that I'm not surprised it happened, given your history. But there was just a part of me that believed our love would win out in the end. You can't help who you love Luke, I just wished you loved me more.
I was so angry at you both, and I probably still am. But I want the boy I love and the girl I love to be happy. I've stepped aside for her, you can both be happy now. I'm not giving you my blessing, you can argue that you don't need it. But be together Luke, so all this hurt means something. So all this was for something, for destiny. Make it mean something Luke, because I couldn't take it if this was all for nothing.
I'll never deny you your child Luke. When your ready you know where we are. Lucas Scott is going to change the world some day and he doesn't even know it. I'll miss you always Broody.
Pretty Girl. Xxx
brookenlucas4eva03 - Thanks for the review hun, glad your enjoying it. =]
oreo5228 - Hope you like this update hun, thanks for the review. review again lol =]
plasticlittlespastic - Thanks for the review hun, lol. yeah not much about the Brucas baby in this chapter (pouts) lol. but loads of baby fluff in next few chapters. enjoy hun. =]
Princesakarlita411 - Thanks for the review hun. Yeah, Peyton adn Lucas aren't going to come off as the good guy's for a while. But I can promise a Brucas ending. And a huge Peyton/Brooke confrontation in one of the chapters. Hope you keep reading hun and review again lol.
toddntan - Woah hun, thanks for the great review. Glad your enjoying the fic. Lucas will become remorseful but not for a while, something big will happen to give his stupid ass a reality check lol. And about the long sentances I'm really trying hun, I just get really lazy sometimes lol. But for you I'll try harder. =] Hope you enjoy this chapter, even though it's not really my fave lol. Thanks again for the review. =]
Kelly-Starfly - Hey hun thanks so much for reviewing, I hope you carry on reading and reviewing lol. Yeah I love Brucas, Brooke is my fave character so all my fics are like Brooke-centric lol. Enjoy the chapter hun.
Thanks so much to everyone who reviewed and story alerted my fic. I'm going to try and update alot sooner, it's just I like to know that people actually read my stuff lol. So reviews are greatly appriciated people lol. Ok Brooke was 8 weeks pregnant when she left so she's almost seven months now ok. next few chapters will be better I promise. Thanks again guy's love ya'll. =]