What!? I'M UPDATING!?! I know, I know. It's been...forever. My boyfriend got an amazing deal on the entire Cell Saga and we watched it together. It made me feel so nostalgic and rekindled my love and obsession for Cell (Cell: Of course!)

So much has changed since I last updated this. I was still in high school haha! I'm almost done with my junior year of college (I was a junior in high school last time! AH!) Um...I moved out of my parents' this summer and live with my boyfriend of two years, who I met at college. I'm 20 (so old!!...and 5 months away from being 21!!)

I hope you've all been doing well! And enjoy the chapter! I miss entertaining you guys!!

Disclaimer: Me: As always, I don't own DBZ. *nudges Cell* Cell: She also doesn't own Law and Order or Tylenol Me: *coughs* Cell: Ugh! I am not saying it!! Me: Come oooon!! Cell: *sighs* But she owns me as a house slave Me: Much better!

Mrs. Haggison grabbed Hercule by his ear. How dare this brat take her TV and cause her to miss her precious Law and Order! Where was the respect for elders and great TV shows? She didn't want to admit her son-in-law might have been right to doubt her abilities to shape these kids up before graduation, but this did give her a perfect time to set an example since obviously they were lacking in respect. What could she do to Hercule that was within limits?

The chibis all watched, shocked to learn the new student was a thief. A few of them already knew he was a liar, watching him lose horribly to Vegeta after boasting on and on about how powerful he was, but a thief? For shame...

"Honest, I didn't do it, Mrs. Haggison!!" Hercule cried out, struggling to get his ear out of her old, wrinkly fingers.

"If you're going to be a thief, you might as well be an honest one!" Mrs. Haggison was a bit miffed he ruined her train of thought. There wasn't much she could do within reason to this chibi. She didn't need to get banned from teaching and possibly sued by this brat's parents. Then it hit her. "You're going to put on a one-man show."

"A what?"

"Since you decided I had to miss my TV show, you can act out the episode for me in front of the entire staff. I will print you out a copy of the script, and you will perform tomorrow after school. And to make sure you don't try to steal from your classmates, you will be switching seats with Frieza."

Frieza mentally patted himself on the back for getting his seat back, but the hag didn't suffer too much from this. Perhaps now that he would be sitting next to Dodoria, he could come up with a better plan.

The bell rang. The chibis got their stuff and went home.

The chibis walked in the next morning chattering away, mostly about Hercule's "punishment".

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH ALL OF YOU!?" Frieza yelled, grabbing everyone's attention.

"We could ask you the same thing." Vegeta huffed.

Frieza ignored Vegeta's remark and continued on. "How can you all walk in here acting as if you don't have a care in the world? That hag is still our teacher! We need to get rid of her!"

"She's not that bad. I mean, we do need some discipline." Cell pointed out.

"Not that bad!?" Frieza began pacing around the room. "Isn't it our duty to get rid of these teachers who think they can teach us!"

"Isn't that what teachers are supposed to do...?" Goku scratched his head with his hand that just happened to be holding a leash attached to his bottle of Tylenol.

Frieza stared at him. "Well yes, but...we have a reputation to uphold!"

"Well technically we got rid of the first teacher by an accident. We were just being normal and she couldn't handle it." Bulma stated matter-of-factly.

Frieza stopped pacing and shook his head at his fellow classmates. "You're all useless! I can't believe you have lost sight of our goals! This woman is the absolute worst out of all of them, and you're all...brainwashed! At least I know my men are with me! Anyone else?" Frieza looked around the room, hopeful.

"She needs to go down!" Hercule walked in the room with his finger pointed in the air. The chibis glanced around, wondering if they were imagining odd rock music playing in the background. And where did Hercule get that cape? As a matter of fact, how was the cape blowing in the wind? They were inside...

"She delivered this script to my house. I can barely read and they use really, really big words! I didn't even take her stupid TV..." Hercule folded his arms across his chest. There was no way he was going through with this one-man show.

"Fine then. It looks like it will just be me, Zarbon, Dodoria, and new kid-"

"My name is Hercule..."

"Whatever." Frieza turned back to the rest of the chibis. "We'll save your lousy butts, and you better be grateful when we do!"

The chibis got in their seats as Mrs. Haggison walked in, looking smug. She was anticipating Hercule's one-man show. He surely would never mess with her, or Law and Order, ever again.

"Good morning, class." She started to her desk, placing her briefcase down. "I trust everyone had a good day yesterday after school? Did you receive the script, Hercule?"

Hercule mumbled, fairly embarrassed and angry.

"What was that, son?"

"Huh?" Goku lifted his head toward the teacher, wondering what she wanted.

Mrs. Haggison let out an aggravated sigh. "Not you!"

She settled down at her desk, reviewing her plans for the day. She had decided to whip up some scare tactics, hoping to scare these children into respecting her and other elders. A little video about military training wouldn't hurt, right?

"We're going to watch a movie today."

"YAY!" The class erupted into premature cheers. They had no idea what kind of movie, but in their little chibi brains they imagined something fun, like cartoons.

"This is a movie on what happens when you don't respect authority."

The class grew silent, no longer cheering or even smiling. What kind of movie was that?

Mrs. Haggison, happy they shut up, carted a TV into the room that had been waiting in the hallway. She slipped in an old VHS tape and sat down at her desk.

Bulma, Chi Chi, and Launch looked away. Not only were they bored, but they were disgusted by the video. The boys definitely seemed to be enjoying it. They were all leaning forward at their desks, trying to get a better look. Well, all of them except for Frieza and Dodoria.

"We have to come up with a plan, Dodoria." Frieza whispered to his desk-mate and loyal subject.

"I don't know what we can do, Lord Frieza. She's kind of tough."

"Dodoria, your loyalty pleased me yesterday when you didn't rat me out. Don't ruin it by disappointing me now."

Dodoria sighed. While he liked being under the protection of Frieza, he could get annoying. He wanted to watch the movie. Everyone else, minus the girls, was enjoying it. Instead, he had to sit here and "brainstorm" with his lord. "Why don't we pass a note to Zarbon?" Dodoria suggested to Frieza.

"Ah! Good idea. Maybe he knows!" Frieza reached in his desk and pulled out a purple crayon (his favorite color) and a piece of paper. He quickly scribbled and then coughed to get Piccolo and Launch's attention to the fact he had a note to pass.

Mrs. Haggison's keen eyes picked up quickly on the piece of paper. Teaching at a high school for 30 years had given her a 6th sense to note-passing. She stood up, paused the movie, and turned on the lights. The chibis moaned and squinted as their eyes adjusted to the sudden change.

"It appears Frieza has something he wants to share with the class."

Frieza glared at her. "No I don't!"

"Oh? You weren't trying to pass a note? Could have fooled me."

"A note isn't something to be shared with everyone, duh, that's why it's a note." Frieza replied sarcastically.

Mrs. Haggison returned his glare. "If you were paying attention to the movie, I doubt you would have responded like that! Now hand over the note."

Frieza tried to shove the note in his mouth, but found his arm was being stopped by Mrs. Haggison, who was now prying the note from his little hands.

"GIVE IT BACK!"

She smiled as the paper slipped through his chubby digits and proudly opened the note. Her smile quickly faded as she stared at a bunch of funny symbols and shapes. "What the hell..." she thought to herself.

Frieza was wondering why she wasn't reading his note and screaming at him, but he wasn't complaining. The class waited, a bit confused by the face their teacher was making.

"Uh well...never mind, back to the movie!" She kept the note on her desk, desperate to find something later to translate it, and turned the movie back on.

To the girls' relief, the movie ended about an hour later. They had resorted to playing MASH to pass the time, but Chi Chi was ruining it by having a silent fit every time Goku got crossed out from being her husband. And the one time she lucked out, she and her "husband" Goku would be living in a shack. Suffice to say Chi Chi was not a happy camper.

Launch turned back around in her seat as Mrs. Haggison turned off the movie. She quietly giggled to herself, which earned her a look from Piccolo.

"What are you giggling about?" Not that he cared, because he didn't...

Launch bit her lip and smiled. "Do you like kids?"

Piccolo was confused. They were kids, what did she mean? He gave her a blank stare.

"You know, like babies?"

"Not really..."

Launch began giggling again. "Oh because MASH said we were going to have 10!!" She covered her mouth with her hands to avoid getting in trouble. Her and Piccolo having 10 babies? She wondered if they'd be green.

Piccolo knew he shouldn't have asked. He silently wondered what "MASH" was, and resolved to find out during free time because he certainly wasn't having 10 babies. Could he even HAVE babies?

Mrs. Haggison finished up her discipline lesson by having the chibis write a response to the movie. Most of them couldn't write well, but the general idea was there: "You should respect authority". There were a few remarks made by Vegeta and Cell about them being weaker, so it not mattering. And then there was that Goku...something about not holding back if Tylenol was in danger...? Mrs. Haggison wasn't sure, but she let it slide.

Then there was Frieza's paper. Blank. Just his name sitting crooked in the top margin. She knew he hadn't been paying attention because he was busy writing that odd note, but even the girls made up the correct answer. She growled under her breath. He was such a trouble maker! There was no doubt in her mind that Frieza wasn't mostly, if not solely, responsible for all the previous teachers leaving. Maybe Hercule had been telling the truth.

No matter now; it was too late. She could not admit she made a mistake, especially because of Frieza. No, he was not winning. She would be triumphant. No child, no matter how alien looking (or actually alien...) would defeat her!

Mrs. Haggison glanced at the clock. She supposed the chibis could have free time now. Most of them had properly behaved themselves.

Chi Chi wrung her hands together nervously. She only landed on Goku's name ONCE in MASH and they had lived in a shack!! This was worrying her. What if they never got married? She would live alone forever!

Chi Chi got up and sought out Goku. It wasn't hard to find him, of course he was sitting with his Tylenol...attached to a leash. She sweat dropped. She needed to find a way to manipulate Goku into marriage. She could worry about him making them rich later on in life. First came tying the knot.

She knelt down next to Goku and began cooing over his pills. It took all her strength not to scream and stomp on them. That was certainly not the way to win Goku over.

"Oh look how cute they are!"

Goku looked over at Chi Chi, who was staring adoringly at his Tylenol. "They were being bad today. I had to put them on a leash."

Chi Chi forced a smile onto her face, trying hard not to grind her teeth. "Maybe they could use another parent..."

Cell was bored. Absolutely, completely, utterly bored!! He lost his slave thanks to a crazed Goku the other day. Now what was he to do?

No one was worthy of his time. He could fight Vegeta again, but that would only waste five minutes. Speaking of Vegeta, where was he? Cell was surprised he didn't storm over demanding a rematch since Goku ruined their fight.

Cell stood up and surveyed the room. He found Vegeta still sitting at his desk with a small device in his hands. Curious, Cell walked over and peered over Vegeta's shoulders.

"Go away, android! Your lameness is ruining my game!"

"Impossible!" Cell frowned. "I'm perfect."

Vegeta paused his game to look at Cell. "You are not! If you're so perfect, try beating my high score!" Vegeta handed his Gameboy (A/N: Don't own that! No, really, I never had a Gameboy...*sniffle*) to a perplexed Cell. "It's called Tetris. I've gotten 50 lines! Try and beat that!!"

Cell chose to start a new game, wondering exactly what that entailed. He watched as an odd block that looked suspiciously like a z started falling on his screen. He hit a button and it changed its direction!!

Mrs. Haggison picked up the note Frieza had written. What could these symbols mean? Why did he use them to write? Obviously this child was not human, but it never occurred to her that he would have used another language. This was giving him an advantage and Agnes Haggison was not letting a child have the upper hand.

She got up, note in hand, and peeked out into the hallway. She spotted another teacher on break and beckoned her over.

"I need to...make copies." Mrs. Haggison lied. "Could you watch my class? They're having free time, so really you just need to stand guard."

The teacher nodded, knowing better than to get on Mrs. Haggison's bad side if she wanted tenure.

Mrs. Haggison dashed down the hallway to find a computer to use. Someone somewhere on the internet must know what this language is and what these symbols mean.

Frieze smiled as he watched the hag leave the room. He motioned for his minions to gather around, and decided to share with them the ingenious plan he had come up with.

"What is the worst kind of glue?"

Hercule, Dodoria, and Zarbon all looked at each other. Was he trying to tell a joke? No one knew how to answer Frieza, and instead, remained silent. They only offered Frieza raised eyebrows.

Frieza sighed loudly. "Super glue. It is the key to our revenge!"

"My Lord...?" Zarbon knew Frieza has gone a bit crazy with this revenge thing, but he was starting to get creeped out. And they thought his obsession with Ms. Machnik was weird...

"Here's the plan, you dummies. Someone needs to fly out the window, get back through the main entrance, sneak into the office, steal super glue, come back here and then we will super glue all her drawers shut!"

"What if they don't have super glue, Lord Frieza?" Dodoria, knowing fully well he was going to be the one to do this, was afraid. What if he got caught? What if he flew all the way over there and there was none!?

Frieza sighed once again. "They're going to have it, Dodoria. Otherwise, don't you think I would have come up with a different plan!?"

Hercule glanced back and forth among the other three chibis. How come no one was questioning the fact he said FLYING? No one could fly! He decided to play it cool though and not mention this part, since no one else was. "I think it's a great idea! We should super glue my script in there too!"

"No."

Hercule pouted. He didn't like this Frieza kid one bit. He was only teaming up with him for the purpose of getting out of his one-man show that was approaching quicker than he liked. He couldn't find anything stopping that from happening in Frieza's plan, and he had just shot down the one thing that would. Damnit!

"Dodoria, go now! We don't have much time."

Dodoria hurried to the window and jumped out. Hercule watched wide-eyed and nearly wet his pants...NEARLY. He was a future world champion, you know.

"So you're saying you think they're acting up because they're missing a ma...ma..."

"Maternal figure."

"...yeah that, from their lives?"

Chi Chi nodded her head sagely. In reality, she really wanted to scream, "No, you moron! They're not acting up because they're missing a mother! They're not acting up at all. THEY'RE FREAKIN' PILLS FOR KAMI SAKE! AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" However, she knew that would not please Goku at all. And an unhappy Goku meant no marriage...and possible pain for Chi Chi since Goku was known to fly off the handle when it came to his pills being insulted or harmed.

"And you want to be their mommy?"

Chi Chi smiled. "As you've seen from my t-shirt the other day, I love Tylenol. I would love to adopt them as my own, Goku, but you see, there's a law in the way."

"A law?" Goku cocked his head to the side and blinked at Chi Chi.

Chi Chi smiled and continued on. "Yeah, this law states we have to be married in order for me to adopt your Tylenol."

Goku jumped up to his feet. "Then it's settled! We'll get married!!"

Chi Chi squealed in delight. Goku finally agreed to marry her!! IN YOUR FACE, MASH!

"It stands for mansion, apartment, shack, or house."

Piccolo looked at the piece of paper Launch had in her hands. So this was that "MASH" thing she mentioned.

"And how does it work?"

"We have these categories and we pick things to put under them. So like for cars, you could put a jeep and a limo, or an ice cream truck."

"An ice cream truck?"

Launch giggled and nodded. "You have to put some silly ones in there!"

Piccolo nodded, pretending he understood. Really, he didn't, but he wasn't sure if it was supposed to make sense. "And how do you pick which one I land on?"

"I start making dots on the paper, but you can't see! Then you tell me to stop and however many dots I made make up the number! Then I start at a category and count, so say I made 5 dots," Launch paused to count to 5 and crossed off 'limo' under cars, "now limo is out and I start again from THIS spot and count to 5 until one from every category is left!"

Piccolo frowned at the paper. So this decided his fate? "Let's play..."

Bulma had been coloring quietly, but got bored after a while. Everyone was busy doing their own thing. She saw Vegeta and, unfortunately Cell, sitting together. She decided to see what they were up to.

"Hi guys!" Bulma greeted cheerfully. She received silence in response. Her lips formed into a pout. "Um, hello...?"

"Shhh!" Vegeta hushed Bulma as he stared intently at Cell.

What on earth were they doing? She tried to peek over Cell's shoulder, but he quickly moved. She was getting angry now. She tried to grab for the game, but was stopped by Vegeta, who yelled "NO!" at her and latched on to her wrist. At least he was paying attention to her now.

"What were you thinking!?" Vegeta practically screamed at her.

Bulma had no idea how to respond. What the hell was this thing and why was it so important? "What are you guys doing?"

"We're playing Tetris. Mr. Imperfect-"

"Perfect." Cell quickly corrected.

"-is currently trying to beat my score, which he won't because he sucks and I'm the greatest."

"Can I play?"

"No." Cell answered, then went back to the game.

"Why not!?"

Vegeta cringed at her high pitched screech. "Damnit, woman, stop screeching!"

Bulma stomped her foot. "But I want to play too!"

Cell exited out of the game, smirk plastered on his face. "Pity, I only had 36 lines. Anyway, I have an idea how we can all play."

Bulma would have been excited at the prospect of being included, except Cell suggested it. And he had an eerie smirk on his face. She didn't think she was going to like this.

"Vegeta and I will play for keeps."

"Keeps of what..." Bulma didn't like where this was going. Not one bit...

Cell's smirk broke into a smile. "You, of course. Whoever gets the highest score wins you."

"You're on android!"

"What a minute!! I don't agree to this!!" Bulma instantly regretted coming over. Why couldn't she have kept coloring?

"Quiet, woman. You think Cell can beat me at Tetris, my OWN game? I will not be defeated!"

"But Vegeta-"

Vegeta cut Bulma off by raising his hand in the air, signaling her to stop. Didn't he understand how Cell's mind worked? There was no way Cell, a calculating machine, would lose at a game like this.

Vegeta grabbed Bulma and pulled her to the side. "Didn't you hear him say he only got 36 lines?"

"Vegeta," Bulma whispered, "I think he said it on purpose. You know, as part of his plan?"

Vegeta almost looked hurt. "You don't think I can win?"

"No, Vegeta it's not that! Wait!!" Bulma felt terrible. She upset Vegeta by doubting him, but didn't she have a right to? She watched him turn away from her and walk up to Cell. They sealed the deal with a handshake.

"We start tomorrow. I'll even allow you to practice at home, Vegeta."

"Ha! Like I need it, Cell!"

Dodoria had arrived back safely and set to work. Frieza, Hercule, and Zarbon had all made sure every last bit of her things were in drawers. Hercule tried to sneak his script in there a few times, but was promptly stopped by an annoyed Frieza.

They had resolved to figuring out what to do with the super glue, while Dodoria did the dirty work.

"I suggest you just throw it out the window and blast it, Lord Frieza."

Hercule felt out of place again. Blast it? With what? How!? He did watch Dodoria jump out a window and "fly", but he was sure it was a trick. Something Frieza conjured up to play games with him. Yeah, that was it.

"I suppose Zarbon, that really is the best way. If she tries to even ask for super glue, to see if we stole it, they won't even have any. Genius!"

"Um...Lord Frieza...?"

"Not now Dodoria, we're busy!"

"...it's kind of important, sire."

Frieza rolled his eyes. "What is it?"

"You kind of need to be over here."

Frieza shut his eyes and rubbed his temples, much like he had seen his father do many times. He walked over to Dodoria. What was the damn problem!? "What?"

"I...glued myself to the desk."

"You WHAT!? Imbecile!!" Frieza stared at Dodoria's right hand, which was now married to the desk, thanks to minister super glue. "We don't have time for this, Dodoria! She's coming back!"

Dodoria looked panicked as he struggled to get his hand off the desk. He only resulted in taking the desk with him.

"Stop moving! Try using your ki, idiot."

Dodoria stopped struggling and concentrated his ki into his hand.

"Not so much!!"

Dodoria flinched at his Lord's yelling and exerted a small amount of ki, which loosened the glue. He was free!! "You're so smart, Lord Frieza!"

"Yeah, yeah, I know. Now give me the container so I can dispose of it."

Frieza went to the window, threw the super glue, and sent a small ki blast after it. Evidence gone.

Hercule watched in amazement at what just happened. There was no way that was real. He's full of tricks, so obviously that was just one of them...

Piccolo frowned at the paper sitting in front of him. He was going to be a door-to-door vacuum salesman, live in an apartment, marry Launch and have 10 kids (it was true!!), and drive a mini van. Why would Kami curse him with such a life!? Damn fool! Piccolo would get revenge on him...

"Come on, Piccolo, it's not so bad! You're married to me at least."

Piccolo grumbled and Launch turned away, embarrassed. Maybe he thought that was the worst option of them all.

Piccolo sensed he upset Launch, but didn't know what to say. Honestly, he did think the best thing on the paper was Launch, but how was he supposed to tell her? She didn't need to know it was because the other ones were so horrible, but he didn't need her to start crying or something.

"Um...out of all the categories, the "wife" was the only one where the best option was picked..." Piccolo barely choked out the words, but there...he said it.

Launch emitted some kind of high pitched noise that hurt Piccolo's sensitive ears and whipped around to glomp him. His green cheeks took on a red appearance as he tried to brush her off.

Mrs. Haggison returned to her class royally pissed. The internet, the entire damn internet, and no one had any information on this language!? Was he trying to mess with her?

"Get a hold of yourself, Agnes, he's just a child," she told herself.

Mrs. Haggison placed the note back on her desk, her empty desk? That's right, she had put everything away to watch Law and Order, but now it was too late. Oh well, time to get out the lesson plan and continue on with the day.

She reached down to open a drawer, but found it was stuck. She pulled harder, but only the entire desk moved. Her wrinkles formed angry lines. What was the meaning of this? She tried another drawer, but it wouldn't budge either.

"Don't let them see you angry..."

Mrs. Haggison took a deep breath, and moved her chair to sit down, except it too was frozen in place.

Frieza watched as she couldn't even more her chair. "Nice touch, Dodoria!"

Dodoria welcomed the praise, not bothering to tell Frieza he accidentally dropped the super glue on the floor when he glued his hand to the desk.

The chibis all got back in their desks when they saw Mrs. Haggison arrived, and were currently trying not to laugh as she struggled to open her drawers and move her chair.

Mrs. Haggison counted to 10 in her head; she took long, deep breathes; she thought of peaceful, panoramic scenes, but nothing was changing the fact that she wanted to pick her desk up and throw it out the damn window. Her purse was in there for god sake! How was she supposed to get home!?

Mrs. Haggion needed to find out who was responsible. They must have the glue on them now. She turned to the class, forcing a smile on her face. "It appears I can't open my drawers...because of the mess I have in them. So I propose we clean out our desks today! Take everything out and put it on your desk, then we will decide what is junk and what to keep." Genius! An inconspicuous way to see what everyone has in their desk.

The chibis got to work, removing items and papers from their desks. Soon they had a pile sitting on top. Mrs. Haggison walked around surveying the junk. Much to her dismay, there was no trace of super glue, not even regular glue. Could they have used something else?

Mrs. Haggison excused herself, but those with sensitive ears heard her screaming down the hall. Frieza had really set her off, for the first time.

She entered the room again, informing Hercule he would not be performing today. She had some important phone calls to make, mostly calling for a lock-smith for her car, but the chibis did not need to know. They could not see her frustration, otherwise they won. Mrs. Haggison tried her best to remain as calm as she could until it was time for them to leave. Once out of her sight, she flipped one of the desks in frustration. She knew Frieza was behind this, she just knew it!

Uh oh! Frieza finally got her good!! I will try to update soon, because I really enjoyed writing this again! Don't forget to review!