Hey there, everyone! This is Izzy on the much-awaited 2nd Chapter of….
The Church School from Hell! Once again, if you are religious, you may find this offensive. You have been warned.
Thanks a lot, and remember; R & R!
-Izzy
Disclaimer: I do not own Harvest Moon.
"I…have…to…go…to…Church…School?!" Claire said very slowly, still processing these words.
"Uh huh." said Carter.
"You can't make me." She stated, attempting to stay calm.
Carter did not seem to notice. "Yes, I can. You really don't want the Mayor evicting you from your farm, do you?"
"No…"
"Well, then. We have come to an agreement. I will see you at 7:00 am tomorrow for morning prayers."
Claire was defeated. "Fine." She said.
Claire awoke and stared at the clock; 6:00. She had better get up and head off to "Church School".
"Goddess." She sighed.
She arrived at the church 10 minute late. Fashionably late, she thought to herself. Claire knocked on the door and entered into the church. It was the first time she had been in there. Before she noticed anything else, she smelt something. Bad.
"Ew! What the hell is that?!" She cried, "Carter, dude, your church reeks."
Carter, who was knelt by the alter, apparently praying, looked up.
"It's the incense." He informed her, slightly miffed.
"What? Que?"
"It is an offering to the Goddess."
"Ohhhhh." Claire said, "Wait, I don't get it."
"I give up." Carter said, "How 'bout we just sit here and wait for the others."
"Hold on, I'm not late?" asked Claire utterly aghast, "I'm not fashionably late?"
"Nope, not compared to the others."
"Damn." Claire snapped her fingers and sat down.
A few minutes elapsed when the great oak doors swung open once more. In walked Gray, Karen, May and Stu.
"Why are you here?" asked Claire, "I thought I was the only rebel in this town."
Karen mumbled something about wine.
"Stu and I were behind Daisy the cow…"
"Kissing." finished Karen.
"I hit grandpa on the head with my hammer." said Gray with no hint of embarrassment in his voice, "He is such a nag."
"Oh." said Claire.
"You're all here, wonderful!" exclaimed Carter. "Okay, let's begin with the 'breaking of the bread'." He picked up a few pieces of bread and broke them, making some hand motions as he did so. He distributed the pieces.
"Eat Jesus' body." He ordered to the figures sat in front of him.
"Are you sure that this is Jesus' body? I'm pretty positive that you got it at the supermarket on sale day." Karen observed, tasting the bread.
Carter turned as red as a tomato.
"No." he said defensively and took out a cup of wine. "This is Jesus' blood. Drink it."
"Ew!" cried May, "I ain't takin' one look at that thing." She turned her head.
"Me neither." agreed Stu.
After that ordeal, Carter seemed a little drained. He walked dejectedly over to the cupboard and pulled out five white robes and large clunky cross necklaces. He handed them to Karen, May, Stu, Gray and Claire.
"What the?" said Claire.
"They are alter server robes." said Carter.
"Must we wear them?" asked Karen. "They don't really show off my figure."
Carter nodded, looking angry.
"Prayers are finished." He said. "Come back at 3:00 and we will begin lessons. And wear those." He pointed to the garments on the floor.
They exited.
At 3:00 everyone returned together. They, to Carters apparent surprise, were not late. But there were other things for him to be surprised at…
Karen had chopped off the sleeves and neck of her robe, leaving spaghetti straps. She had also cat a long slit on the side, showing her leg. Her necklace was fashioned around her waist like a belt.
Gray had somehow covered his with a layer of soot and grime; the bottom was ripped, and the sleeves had been torn.
May and Stu had left theirs the way they were, however, the robes were so large that they had used safety pins, which virtually covered the garments.
Claire had covered hers for head to toe in rainbow sequins, which acted like a disco ball against the walls.
"Oh, dear Goddess, help them." Said Carter
The room was silent for a few moments, until Karen finally spoke.
"Carter, man, can I have another one of these? The material is surprisingly durable and I have a really awesome idea for a sun dress. I can dye it blue, and then I'll make it a halter top and, hey, do you mind if I chop off a teeny weeny two feet from the bottom?" She finished.
Carter made the sign of the cross.
"Thanks, dude!" She cried out happily.
Carter made repeated his previous gesture.
"Okay, so what's happening now?" asked May, "'Cause Stu and I have a date at six."
Cater made the sign of the cross five times, and pointed to the door.
"We'll be back at seven for morning prayers!" Claire called to Carter's retreating back, "See you then!"
Hope you liked it! Pleas, Rate and Review! Thanks so much!
Izzy