Chapter Twelve

Fed

Fed: . To serve as food for, or To have eaten and no longer be hungry

I love my horse
I love to ride it
I love to make love to it too
So – feed the horse

The feeling was tense

between them.

Like, Lilly almost couldn't breathe. She felt that if she took out a knife and tried to slice the air up like a cake then maybe it was actually doable. Not that she'd want a piece of air, it was just for comparison.

She didn't really know what to do about it.

TENSE!

Well, you see, Miley wasn't acting as if she regretted their kiss(-es), acting as if it never happened, acting strange, no she simply wasn't acting at all. She was just Miley, her usual self, and Lilly was confused, which meant that, since she had been that a lot lately, she was also pretty much her usual self.

They hadn't talked about it (that was stupid).

Lilly really wanted to. The air needed to be cleaned, to be untensed, and so therefore they should talk. Lilly felt that it was good reasoning, and she hadn't exactly said to Miley they should talk, and neither had Miley – you know, said that they shouldn't talk. They just hadn't really done it yet.

And maybe Lilly was being the stupid one, thinking that the air was tense. Maybe everything was good between them and the next time they were alone together Miley would kiss her again. But that wasn't good, was it? It wasn't, see. For if Miley only wanted to kiss her and didn't want to talk, then something was seriously wrong with their relationship to each other, and that was a no-goodie. So maybe the air was really tense, and maybe Lilly wasn't being the stupid one, and maybe Miley was since they hadn't talked yet.

(Well, Lilly could do something about that, couldn't she?)

They should just talk about it. Perhaps Lilly was imagining all these things, and maybe everything was amazing still, and they just had to seal the deal, discuss how to go about it, and then just come out and say it. It sounded good in Lilly's ears, it really did. They had already agreed to get together tonight (that was Saturday), but as for right now… they were hanging out with Oliver on the beach.

"God Lilly! You're so tense!"

Tense?

Snapped out of it, "Huh? Te-te-tense?"

Oliver shot her a cocky smile, "Tense, yeah. You need to relax more. Did you sleep on your bad side last night? Your shoulder is hard." He poked a finger into her skin and Lilly cringed.

She couldn't say so, but last night her shoulder had been extremely uncomfortable on her couch, but she hadn't minded – she had had her hands on Miley.

Laughter bubbling next to Oliver, ice cream in hand, sun in hair, and happyhappyhappy, poking finger into Lilly too, "Yeah Lilly, you seem tense! What did you do last night?"

Secret?

There was a wink, and suddenly laughter bubbled within Lilly too, "Me? I didn't do nothing. I slept on my bad side last night."

I love my girls
I love them big on the top
And big on the bottom too
Feed the horse

I want to make love to them
I want them to scream my name
So I say
Feed the horse

--

Here the air wasn't tense at all.

It was nice. It was free. It was fresh. And she felt like maybe she could really spread her oversized zip-up sweatshirt and fly. It was such a feeling to rush across the pavement, kicking her foot once in a while, and only feel the safe ground beneath her feet when she chose to.

She could almost forget everything around her and just live in the moment and be.

Not that she'd ever really want to forget Miley, but it was nice to get away from the intensity while skateboarding her way through the entire park.

I want to ride them
I want to make them ride me
Oh come on!
Feed the horse yum-yum

It might have seemed like Miley was totally cool with everything earlier. She had bubbled, laughed, smiled, been happy and said that Lilly was tense. They'd joked about it. – Lilly was really tense. She could feel it. Prickling in her muscles as she moved. But that was because she wasn't sure if Miley was sure; she never was. A kiss was a kiss – but did she want to date her?

--

"So I will see you tomorrow, Lillian."

Heather kissed her cheek and stroke her blonde straws away.

"Yes, have a good shift."

Heather nodded, took her workbag and left the house, humming a happy melody.

Too happy, perhaps? Lilly wasn't sure.

She looked down.

Feed the horse, yum-yum
Feed the horse, yum-yum
Feed the horse, feed the horse
Feed the horse, yum-yum

Lilly reached for her phone, flipped the screen open, heard the voice – Oliver.

"Lilster? What's up?"

Trailing a finger across the worn oak table, nails scratching, saying, "Not much. Mom just left for her night shift. I'm bored. Why are you calling?"

Oliver never called without a reason.

There was a silence, but then he said, "I'm just… interested in your life, I guess. Did something happen with you and Miley?"

Lilly squeezed her eyes together, cringed; felt her finger itch, thought that that was weird – him asking now, him asking when it was only yesterday. Not exactly answering, saying, instead, snappy, quickly, rude, "Why do you ask?"

Another silence, again, he broke it, hurriedly, nervously, "Just curious…"

Liar!

He was such a liar.

"Alright… I talked to Miley."

Waaaay better.

Hey, wait a minute. – Miley!? He talked to… Miley?

Stern, biting lip, kind of hungry, saying, "What did she say?"

"She says you guys kissed."

He was so stupid!

"No Oliver," harsh, harsher, harshly, "what did she say?"

It wasn't about whether or not they kissed, it wasn't. It was about what Miley said about this kiss, what she felt about this kiss; and Lilly knew Miley had talked to him, because if you can't talk to one friend, you talk to the other.

A swallow, clearly through the phone, "She said she wasn't sure."

Feed the horse, yum-yum
Feed the horse, yum-yum
Feed the horse, feed the horse
Feed the horse, yum-yum

--

"Uh, Lilly, Lilly! What kinda CDs do you have? What do you wanna listen to?"

Lilly opened the CD-holder (even if Miley knew exactly where it was) and tried to dry off her feet before she pushed them into her sneakers, "Take your pick, my darling."

Miley sorted through the CDs; Paramore. She then turned to Lilly. Lilly was ready to drive. "Hey Lilly?"

Mocking, grinning, knowing she could, "Uh, Lilly, Lilly! Hey Lilly!"

Smacking shoulder, but laughing, "Stop mockin' me! I'm tryin' to be serious here."

Turning on the engine, smiling, looking at her perfect girl, "Alright, what do you wanna say, Miles?"

Turning serious-er, but still her Smiley Miley, "I just wanna thank ya for this evening. I know that this is real – I, I think that I'm so fuckin' in love with you."

--

HOLY SHIT!!!!

Miley was fucking in love with her!!

I like my girls
I like my girls with a twat
I like my girlies spicy hot
I want to lick them from the top

Why had she not remembered this before? Why hadn't she seen that inside her head? That was frigging stupid. It was, - wasn't it?

She had to do something about this; she had to figure this out. Had to really talk to Miley tonight. She did have to do that, didn't she? Had to talk for real? It was important, it was. It was, it was, it was. – IMPORTANT.

Not tense.

(anymore)

(hopefully)

(okay, fuck it!)

"I need to do something."

She stood up from the chair, went to her room; fixed things a bit; better. Then stood up from the bed, went to the bathroom; fixed herself a bit; much better.

Back in her room, her Book of Lyrics; Do Not Look was waiting.

…alright. So one would always have time to write, couldn't one?

--

When she met Miley in the door, Miley met her with a kiss. It was quick, it was eager, it was lovely.

Lilly breathed, "Miley – we need to talk."

Blue eyes – huge, mouth – wide open, questioning, "We do?" stopping, stating, "We do."

Hands meeting, fingers intertwining, love is all around, "Come to me."

They moved from the first floor, to the second, up the small stairway, going into Lilly's room. It was neat because she fixed it. There was a picture of her and Casper the day she got him; it was planted on her bedside table and it was very memorable. Next to it was a picture of her and Oliver when they were kids – and then there was Miley; plenty pictures of a Smiley Miley.

They took a seat on the bed, next to each other, close to each other; fingers itching to touch, lips itching to brush, body on fire, everywhere.

"Miley."

"That's me."

"I really need to know one thing…"

Stopping, "What? What do you need to know Lilly?"

"Are you sure?"

It was hard, it was quick and painful, but she needed to know this, she needed to know the truth. She wasn't sure if she'd be able to stop herself from taking it further even if Miley wasn't certain but at least she had to ask.

Telling the truth, not lying at all, "I'm not sure about anything anymore Lilly, but… but I know I wanna do this."

Heads moving closer, hands moving apart, moving, noses pressed against each other, whispers in reply, "Come to me."

Fingers started moving, lips started kissing, brushing, bursting through each other. A hand on the back, one on a thigh. A hand beneath a shirt, another in the hair. Eyes closed, senses wide open; it was everything, only them, but still everything.

She could feel a finger up her back, opening up a bra, she could feel a zipper going down; it was fast, but it couldn't be stopped, it was need, it was love, and they were hungry.

Feed the horse, yum-yum
Feed the horse, yum-yum
Feed the horse, feed the horse
Feed the horse, yum-yum

Falling to the bed, clothes coming off; tees, shirts, socks, jeans, and…

There was a pause.

Lilly pulled herself up, stared down, eyes caught onto the shiny object beneath her, in her bed. Miley was cringing, making faces; she was shy. Lilly locked their eyes, held her breath, wanted nothing more than to touch, feeling mesmerized, so caught up… feeling real, almost human and so vulnerable.

Hoarse, slightly worn and out of breath, "Can I- can I touch it?"

Eyes going hopeful, shining beautifully fantastic, "It's icky, Lillian."

But Lilly closed her eyes, closed her ears and bend her head, ran a finger up the metal, swore she saw Miley shudder; she bend even further, pressed her lips against it, turned her head to the side, rested her cheek there, listened quietly to Miley's breathing as the world seemed to speed up around them and they spun around in circles.

"Lillian?"

She lifted her head, brushed a straw of blonde hair out of her sweaty face.

"Come back up here."

And she did, because Lillian wanted this more than anything; wanted to feel it and love it; wanted to be it, be here, be in there.

Feed the horse, yum-yum
Feed the horse, yum-yum
Feed the horse, feed the horse
Feed the horse, yum-yum

It was done. It was over. It was just the two of them, and everything seemed so different now.

Sighing. Not saying anything.

"Lillian?"

Worried, worried that something might be very wrong, but still hoping, saying, "Yes?"

"I'm sure now."

Thank you so much for the reviews for the last chapter. I really updated quickly this time! :b I am so proud of myself, haha. I hope you enjoyed this chapter as well. Please drop off a comment.

Disclaimer; I don't own Hannah Montana or the song 'Feed the Horse'.