Outcast
Dagenheart stood at the glass door of her room looking out across the gardens of the Collegium. The morning sunlight sparkled amongst the dew that covered everything and somehow eased the mage's mind. It was her fourth day as a guest of the Valdemarian court. Since the meeting with the King's Own, she had gotten most of her strength back and was pretty close to being her old self. However, she would never be completely the same ever again.
After the Heralds had left her room that day, she had encountered a mirror and for the first time, witnessed the physical toll the Companion link took on her. Her once glossy black hair was divided by a stripe of white. Great! Now I look like a skunk. She had thought sourly. Her Companion held no sympathy for her bleached hair and when she saw him for the first time since the day at the boarding house, she knew why. A black so dark that it seemed to be a rent in fabric of existence marred his once beautiful, white mane. She had spent a great deal of time talking to Elrin, trying to get a better picture of what she had stumbled into. The more he revealed about Valdemar and its Heralds, the stranger they seemed.
Aladria attended to her until she recovered enough to fend for herself; then she was expected to do just that. The kind Healer told her that from now on her meals would have to be taken with the rest of the Collegium's denizens. As she stood by the door she struggled with herself about whether or not she would skip yet another meal. By now, no doubt, word had spread of the new Chosen and what it implied. Elrin had told her that someone had told every Herald, Bard and Healer within mind-speaking distance. That had filled the young mage with a burning anger. They had no right to broadcast her problems to a kingdom full of strangers. She didn't know how the news was being handled as she had yet to venture out of her room. The thought of doing so now was strangely frightening to her, though she'd never had a problem with going anywhere she wanted regardless of who might be there or what they might do.
Once she had enough energy to work with, she had kept herself heavily shielded, allowing only Elrin past her defenses.
:Are you going to linger in your room till you expire from hunger, my dear?: The Companion inquired.
:Maybe.: She let out a loud sigh, :The entire compound is buzzing about us aren't they? They are scared of us – of me. Even the servant who came yesterday was convinced I was going to devour her.:
:Your power disturbs them more then the taint of shadow on your soul. Magic like yours has never been seen before. You're the only one here that knows what you can do and it's not helping that you stay locked up in your room all the time.:
Dagenheart didn't reply. She just stared out of the glass and tried to find the courage to leave her sanctuary.
After what felt like a couple of candlemarks, but was really only a few minutes, she closed her eyes and double-checked her shields before turning and walking to the door. She paused there and listened. No one seemed to be moving about the halls at the moment and with a hint of reserve, she opened the door and poked her head out. The hall was empty of people. She slipped out quietly and made her way down the hall, hoping the directions Alairus had given her to the dining hall wouldn't abandon her. Elrin had offered to call the dark haired Herald to escort her but she refused. Alairus made her feel weird. Something about him set a fire of passion burning in her stomach and she didn't like that at all. She had never felt any attraction to a man and denied to herself that she wasn't interested in this one.
Her leather breeches creaked softy as she hurried down one hall and then another. Within a matter of minutes she detected the smell of a cooking meal. It made her mouth water and caused her stomach to growl in anticipation. She was almost to the big wooden doors that stood open to the dining hall when she saw the gaggle of gray-clad Trainees moving slowly towards her, not noticing her at first. They were laughing and talking amongst themselves until they saw her. They all stopped dead in their tracks and gawked at her like she was some kind of demon famous for eating children. Without even flinching, she continued her trek towards the divine smelling room. The closer she got, the more students emerged form the hall, apparently going back to their rooms or classes or whatever it was that Heraldlings did after eating.
She found herself at the center of an island of silence and stares as she walked. People shrank away from her and as she passed, a swarm of whispers echoed down the hall behind her. In a way she was pleased. These children were far too frightened of her to even think about pestering her. It was obvious that they wanted to keep as much gone between themselves and her as possible. She kept her gaze forward; locked on the far wall of the dining hall.
The hall itself was massive and filled with benches and tables. Upon those tables, Dagenheart could see the remains of breakfast. Judging by the amount of people leaving and the scrapes at the table, she had gotten there too late. Somewhere in the distance a bell tolled and the remaining students grabbed a last mouthful of food and scurried towards the hall. Their reaction was the same as the others when they saw her striding down the hall. They parted in unison as she entered into the room; her stomach was almost in revolt.
She didn't know what was required of her for a meal and she dared not ask anyone except Elrin.
:I take it I arrived late? Any chance I could get something to eat anyway or must I starve till lunch?:
:Hold on. Let me check.: Came Elrin's reply.
She stopped walking and moved to the side of the doors so she wouldn't be hampering anyone coming or going. A long moment passed until he spoke again.
:Make your way to the kitchen. Someone will see to it that you get something.: His mind-voice was filled with annoyance, but not directed at her. He then relayed the quickest route to the kitchen to her and she left the hall, ignoring the stares of a hundred eyes. The kitchen was not hard at all to locate. Partially due to the smells but mainly from the noise. Inside the kitchen proper was chaos. People running about here and there with food or dishes or food on dishes. She stood there in the doorway for a moment, unsure what to do when a stocky man with a grizzled beard noticed her and singled her to come forward. She strode in with the arrogance of a prince and, as before, the noise and bustling slowly drained out of the room.
:I feel like a freak!: She muttered bitterly in her mind.
There was no verbal response just a wave of reassurance and care from Elrin. She took strength from that as she focused on ignoring the people around her and maintaining her facade of confidence.
"Dagenheart?" The grizzled man rasped as she approached him.
"Yes." Her tone was as emotionless as a rock. He handed her a platter of food and said nothing more. She turned away and as she left without bothering to express her thanks. She made for the area where her room was, not entirely sure that should would be able to find her way back.
:This is ridiculous! What exactly have these people been told about me?:
:Nothing official and that's the problem. The rumor mill is rampant. There is no way of knowing what anyone has been told.:
:So why doesn't Fryn or someone make a 'official' statement and put some minds at ease; namely mine.:
There was a long pause.
:Elrin?:
:Because nothing has been decided yet. You have to understand that Heralds have enjoyed the trust of the people for hundreds of years and that trust is built on the foundation that every Herald will always be honest and honorable.:
Somehow she managed to remember the way back to her room as she opened the door and moved inside he continued, :Surely you can see the implications and problems in making you a Herald.:
She stopped dead, the platter in her hand hung at a slight angle.
:Why did you pick me?:
The question had gnawed on her for the last few days and she wanted the answer now.
:Because I sensed in you great potential for goodness and light. I knew you were not perfect, but I did not see how deep the darkness of your soul went.:
:It's a false point anyway. I'm not going to be a Herald.:
:If the bond between us is broken, we will both die.:
:I have no intention of breaking the bond. We'll just have to enjoy each other's company elsewhere.:
:Elsewhere?:
:Yes. I'm still planning on leaving and now that I have my strength back I intend to take leave of your people's 'hospitality' soon..:
:You may find that difficult my dear since I won't be going with you.:
Anger rose in Dagenheart's stomach.
:Your going to hold me hostage? I doubt it. Don't most Companions respect freewill? Isn't that what you told me?:
:Most Companions aren't scared by evil.: The solemn flavor of his voice chilled her and she knew he meant what he said. He would hold her here for whatever purpose was shaping up in him. Anger turned to bitterness. He would hold her just like the Shadow Lord had long ago. No. This was different. She knew Elrin cared for her and she cared for him and that was a far cry from the slavery she had faced before. Still, it didn't make her like it any better.
It well past noon the next day when Alairus came to fetch her. Elrin had informed her of his advent and intent. The Heralds had finally decided to question her about her past, hoping that would shed some light on the situation they all faced. They wanted to know just how she had come into so much darkness at a young age and what perils, if any, it presented to their kingdom and way of life. To say she wasn't thrilled would have been a grand understatement. She had argued with her Companion for candlemarks before he finally gave up talking to her.
She was dressed in her leathers again with a crimson ribbon holding her ponytail in place. As she paced the length of her room, she muttered to herself about a thousand things. A knock on her door startled her and jerked her back into reality. At first she thought not to answer it but what was the point? They would come in and get her and bring her to the meeting even if they had to hogtie her and drag her there. She strode to the door swiftly and jerked it open. Alairus stood there, hand raised to knock again and was surprised by her violent gesture but regained his composure quickly.
"Are you ready?" He asked in that fluid voice.
She nodded curtly, not trusting her voice around him. He made a gesture for her to follow him and then set off into the bowels of the Collegium. Her heart was beating madly and sweat began to form at her temples. Get a hold of yourself woman! Your stalking into the dragon's lair and it's no time for losing control. She poured more power into her shielding as she followed.
They weaved through passageways and rooms until they came to a room shut behind great oak doors. Without being told, Dagenheart knew they had arrived at their destination. She was scared silly.
:Elrin?: Her mind voice was shaky and she didn't expect a response.
:I'm here my love. Do not fear them but be honest.:
Somehow his voice made her feel better and she regained most of her confidence before the Herald opened the doors and ushered her inside.
The room was big and windowless and a large, oval table took up most of the space. Across from her and Alairus sat Fryn with two white-clad Heralds to his right and left. One she recognized as Alairo but had no idea who the other one was. She was tall and thin with a homely face and a furl of brown hair. The only other person in attendance was Aladria in her soft greens. Her presence made Dagenheart feel even more at ease.
"Welcome Dagenheart." Fryn said, "Please sit." As he said the last part, Alairus pulled out a chair for her. She gave him a look of venom as she sat.
"We would like to talk to you about this darkness that has claimed you and Elrin." He continued. "We would like to know. . ." He seemed unable to phrase his statement properly.
"Why I am tainted by evil?" Dagenheart finished for him.
He nodded hesitantly.
She felt herself drawing away from them for a moment but a wave of calmness steadied her and she took a breath to speak.
"We aren't trying to uncover all your secrets. We just want to know where you acquired such evil." Aladria's voice steadied her even more.
She nodded once and tried to decided where to begin and how much to reveal. She decided to answer only the questions asked. No need in handing these strange people any more ammunition then she had to.
"My soul was scared by my service with the Shadow Lord. I was made a general in his army because of my excessive power and because of my position I was bound to him in the most personal way." Her voice was hollow, as she had to force every word out. Fyrn listened and she knew the next question before he asked it but let him ask anyway.
"How did you escape and find your way here?"
An unfathomable anger rose in her for no reason she knew and was met head on by more comfort from Elrin.
"My escape is not important. Suffice it to say that I severed the link between us and reclaimed my virtue. Or some one it anyway. As for how I found my way here, that is a long story."
The female Herald spoke next, "I am Larshin. Who is this 'Shadow Lord' you speak of? No where in our history is there mention of anyone by that name; except possibly Ma'ar." She shuddered.
Dagenheart didn't recognize the name she mention and disregarded it.
"He is the undisputed ruler of the Darklands. Far to the south; far past Seejay and Velvar." Inside she felt like she was caught in a hurricane of emotions. She didn't want to open up to these people and her anger grew faster.
:Steady, my Chosen.: Came Elrin's voice.
Each of the Heralds looked at each other and it seemed something beyond the level of normal communication passed between them.
"Anything else you want to know?" she snapped a bit harsher then she meant to.
"Maybe I should explain some things we have been talking about." The King's Own said, changing the subject to give her more ease. "We have discovered that even though your darkness contaminated Elrin and his light cleansed you; you each still remain steady in your ways. That is to say that even though Elrin is not uncorrupted anymore, he still retains a vast amount of light. The same goes for you only vice versa. Because of this, we cannot, in good conscience, train you to become a Herald." A wave of relief washed over her but before she could enjoy it the older man added, "But we cannot let Elrin leave the kingdom and not return, which means you cannot leave either."
"Well, I'd say you guys have a problem then, don't you." Her fist clenched. They were not going to let her go and her free spirit screamed at the injustice of it all.
"We all have a problem." Alairo said. His voice was identical to his brother's.
"There may be way out of this. You cannot become a Herald but. . . I understand you served in our armies as a merc so we wish to offer you that position again."
The idea did not sound good at all to her. She had given her due for the gold provided and had no intention of opting for more service. But what other choice did she have.
Aladria seemed to sense her conflict and chimed in, "You do not have to decide right now." She shot Fryn a stern glance as she spoke in case he thought to argue that point, "You may take as much time as you need but the quicker you make up your mind the better."
"And if I refuse?" She asked, arching a brow.
Fryn just shook his hands and shrugged, at a loss for words.
Dagenheart sat silently for a moment then, "I'd like some time to think about it in private."
The Heralds nodded their understanding.
"You may return your quarters." Fryn said to her; to Alairus, "Escort her back please." To her again, "I am placing Alairus in charge of you and your needs. When you have made up your mind, let him know. That said, I wish to stress to importance of the fact that you are not a prisoner here. You are welcome to roam the grounds and city whenever you want, provided of course, that Elrin is with you for obvious reasons". He rose as he spoke and she did the same. Without responding she turned to the door, opened it and step out into the hall, awaiting Alairus to take the lead again - she did not know the way back.
As the two walked down the halls, neither said anything, though the Herald kept glancing over at her from time to time. It seemed years before her room loomed before them and when they arrived, she practically ripped the door open and slammed it in Alairus' face.
:That went well: Elrin snickered.
:Oh shut up!: She snapped viciously and blocked his reply, if there was one.