Dancing Fools 2

Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to DC or Marvel. I own Farrah/Persiana and Lance/Diablos. Dancing with the Stars belongs to ABC. This is a parody!

Chapter 3: Ballet Breaker!

One Week Later, in the Audience…

Diablos said,

"Here we go again. Loki is flirting with Superman, Gyrich is having a nervous breakdown, being tied to the chair, and Doom looks like he should be in a kiddie parade. And, to top it all off, Persiana13 and Farrah have decided to host a sequel to Dancing Fools. They torture the Avengers. How did you put up with her?"

She-Hulk said,

"We had lots of alcohol on hand."

Falcon added,

"We paid the villains to keep taking her away."

Tigra shook her head,

"I seriously don't know what your guys' problem is with my little sister."

Everyone turned to Tigra. She looked up,

"Hey, don't give me that look."

Diablos groaned,

"Greer, your sister tries to peak on me in the shower, after she chases me around for a few hours. I'm lucky I can teleport; otherwise, I'd have to leave Earth."

Tigra shook her head,

"Not a good idea. Farrah definitely wants to make babies with you. You can't run from that."

Diablos sighed,

"You're probably right."

Theme music from Dancing with the Stars is played. Persiana13 entered in expensive tuxedo; Farrah entered in scandalous red dress and high heels, even more revealing than the first one.

Hello, and welcome to Dancing Fools: Avengers Edition!

Farrah smiled,

"Tonight, we're going to showcase the dancing talents of several Avengers members."

Talent, yeah, that's a laugh. Anyway, let's meet the judges. First up, no, there is nothing wrong with your television set. Loki is a woman.

Loki said,

"And if you mortals do not believe me, I can prove it to you."

She started to unzip her top.

Hey, we don't need THAT type of publicity.

The author paused,

Loki, how do you feel about doing a spread in Playboy with Diana?

Wonder Woman yelled from the audience,

"Not on your life!"

Loki pouted,

"Loser."

Fine, our next judge in…Henry Gyrich!
Gyrich yelled,

"PERSIANA13! LET ME OUT THIS INSTANT! YOU OUGHTTA BE LOCKED UP IN A LOONY BIN, YOU CRAZY NUT!"

So should my readers.

The author looked into the camera,

Just kidding, everyone. I really appreciate the support you guys give.

Yellow Jacket grumbled off camera,

"Trust us, he needs it."

He got hit with bean bag,

"OW!"

Shut up, Bumblebee. Now, for our third judge…

The author turned and laughed,
Geez, Doom. What happened to you?

Doom, his armor colored pink and green polka dots, roared,

"I DEMAND YOU RELEASE ME THIS INSTANT! I AM DOOM! I WILL NOT BE SUBJECTED TO THIS HUMILIATION!"

I have to call those guys that do Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. Doom would be perfect.

Farrah grinned,

"Who knows, they might turn that big castle of his into a sweet, serene Zen garden."

Doom was horrified,

"NO! NOT THAT! HOW WILL I PLOT TO RULE THE WORLD IF I AM CONSTANTLY IN ZEN? NNNNNOOOOOOO!"

Well, let's get to our first couple of the evening, although I could keep torturing Doom.

Human Torch said off camera,

"Please do. Hey, Sue, you taping this?"

Invisible Woman nodded,

"Yep!"

Anyway, our first couple for the evening is a real treat to all you fans out there.

Gyrich was stunned,

"That nut has fans?"

He got hit with a mallet,

"OW! Stupid house cat!"

He got hit with mallet again,

"OW!"

Our first couple for the evening is Hawkeye and Black Widow. Now, this season, I decided to do something a bit different and add more dance styles to the mix. Tonight, Hawkeye and Black Widow will be doing a ballet dance.

Black Widow entered in black skin tight ballet clothes,

"Clint, let's go."
Hawkeye grumbled off camera,

"I'm not coming out, Natasha."

Black Widow shook her head,

"Come on, it's not that bad."
Hawkeye said off camera,

"Yes, it is. What was Farrah thinking when she designed this? It looks like she was on one of her cat-nip highs."

Farrah shifted her eyes nervously,

"That's silly, Clint. I'd never do something like that."

Black Widow had her arms crossed,

"Clinton Francis Burton, get your ballet-dancing ass on stage now."

Hawkeye entered, dressed in purple tights and mask,

"I look like a freakin' grape Popsicle."
The audience burst into laughter. Tigra called out,

"Hey, Clint. You look good enough to eat!"

She-Hulk grinned,

"Nat, make sure to get a few good licks in, will ya?"

Diablos covered his eyes,

"It's official. My girlfriend is insane."

Miss Marvel said off camera,

"You're finding this out now?"

As Hawkeye and Black Widow did ballet, Hawkeye threw Black Widow into the air and got on one knee to catch her. However, he was a little off, and Natasha ended up falling on her back, on top of Hawkeye's knee. The audience winced. Farrah winced,

"Oh, that has to hurt."

Hawkeye screamed,

"My knee! That hurt!"

Black Widow screamed,

"My back! That did not happen during rehearsal!"

Loki laughed,

"Mortals are so funny. A nine!"

Gyrich grumbled,

"These guys suck. A five."

Doom commented,

"Adequate performance. A seven."

Farrah said,

"A total of 21 points to start the competition."

Black Widow stood up,

"What do you mean I suck? I'd like to see you do that, Gyrich!"

She whipped out a pistol and started shooting. Gyrich screamed and ran,

"Help! Crazy Russian spy after me! Help!"

He ran off stage, Black Widow in hot pursuit. The author blinked

O-K.

The sounds of an explosion could be heard backstage. The author said,

I've heard of an explosive start to the show, but this is ridiculous. Well, anyway, when we return, we're going to have Yellow Jacket and Firebird up next doing the Ramba. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to get Gyrich back here so he can do the rest of the show. I just have to find that fifty thousand volt taser. I know I keep it around here somewhere.

Next Chapter:

You guessed it; more dancing antics!