Dancing Fools
Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to DC or Marvel. I own Farrah/Persiana, Leon/Crisis, and Lance/Diablos. Dancing with the Stars is owned by ABC!
Chapter 5: Capturing the Tony!
The author was talking on the phone,
You have got to be KIDDING me! Since when? Hey, I don't hear you chasing Fox down for that show So You Think You Can Dance? Next up, you'll be telling me you're gonna copy American Idol. I even thought of a name for you to use; So You Think You Can Sing?
The author hung up the phone and looked at the camera.
Lawyers. Anyway, let's get back to the show.
Farrah entered, carrying large basket with her,
"Is he on next?"
Janet and Tony are just about to.
The author blinked,
Uh, Farrah? What are you carrying in that basket?
Farrah removed the cover, revealing a lot of fruit,
"I think the world should hear about all the pain and suffering I had to endure, and this is a little payback."
Diablos groaned,
"This is not happening."
Tigra swallowed nervously,
"I hope she doesn't try to hit me with those. They look rotted."
Falcon nodded,
"Yeah, I don't think tomatoes are supposed to be blue with yellow polka dots."
She-Hulk blinked,
"And I clearly remember never seeing oranges in any other color but orange."
Gyrich ordered,
"Hey, get that rotted fruit out of my face, Farrah!"
He got hit with a rotten tomato and exclaimed girlishly,
"EEEEEEEWWWWWWWW!"
Farrah yelled,
"Shut up, Gyrich! I'm having my moment here!"
Janet entered in exquisite gown and high heels, both in silver color,
"Farrah, aren't you taking the whole dead boyfriend a little too far? I mean, you're dating Lance now, right?"
Farrah scowled,
"Janet, Leon was the first man I ever truly loved. I loved him so much, I wanted babies with him. You don't know what it's like to lose someone that means that much to you.
She started to fake cry.
Lady Bug, you're a real bitch, ya know that? Look, you made my co-host cry!
Whirlwind yelled off camera,
"You suck, Waspy! I can't believe I loved you!"
Janet was horrified,
"I am so sorry, Farrah. It's just, I…I know how much Crisis meant to you and I kind of liked him too and-."
Farrah looked up, a murderous glare in her eyes,
"YOU TRIED TO TAKE HIM FROM ME!"
She started throwing rotten fruit at Janet. Janet ran off camera,
"Tony! Help me!"
Farrah was in pursuit, throwing more rotten fruit,
"Yeah, lead me to Tony! That way, you both get what you deserve!"
Gyrich yelled,
"Aren't you going to do anything, Persiana13? This is your show, sad to say."
You're absolutely right, Gyrich. I should do something.
The author paused,
Now, I know there are certain women out there that have a thing for Wonder Man.
Vixen called out off camera,
"Like me!"
Zatanna screamed off camera,
"He likes me more!"
Supergirl shouted off camera,
"No, he doesn't! He likes ME!"
Gypsy yelled off camera,
"He likes me!"
As I was saying, the first lady to tape the impending smack down by my co-host Farrah to Janet and Iron Man gets their very own 'M' rated fiction with Wonder Man. I will try to tone it down, but I will keep it graphic enough to deserve the 'M' rating.
The sounds of rushing around could be heard, female voices swearing and getting cameras. Diablos said,
"You do realize there is only one camera backstage, right?"
There's one camcorder back stage. However…
The author pressed a button on the remote. A screen lowered, and the back stage area appeared on screen,
I had a few hidden cameras installed. Hallways, back door, women's showers…
The author blinked,
Hey, I didn't put cameras in there.
Wonder Woman asked from the audience,
"Am I on there?"
Diana, do I look like I'm some sort of pervert to you? You're obviously confusing me with Green Arrow, or Flash.
Tigra said,
"Or Hawkeye."
Diablos contributed his thoughts,
"Or Speedy."
Wonder Girl added,
"Or Hercules."
Hercules groaned,
"Oh, come on! This is not my doing! Why would I need a camera when I can have the real thing?"
He put his hand around Diana. Wonder Woman yelled,
"Get your hands off me!"
She grabbed Hercules and threw him through the ceiling. She flew after him. Wonder Girl was staring at the screen,
"Wow, Farrah has excellent aim."
Tony was on screen,
"OW! THAT HURT!"
Falcon winced,
"I am so glad I am not Tony right now."
Janet, on screen, was frantic,
"GET HER AWAY FROM ME!"
Tony yelled,
"PERSIANA13, YOU'RE GETTING SUED FOR THIS!"
I've heard it all before, pal. Well, ladies and gentlemen, due to a technical error in our program, Janet and Tony won't be able to participate tonight. Sad to say, I was rather hoping they would dance.
Farrah cackled,
"DIE, STARK! YOU'RE GOING TO DIE!"
A chain saw rumbled backstage. The author said,
Well, at least we get a startling rendition of Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to calm my co-host down.
The author exited the set. The sounds of catfight could be heard on screen. Zatanna yelled,
"Give me that camera, Gypsy! Simon's mine!"
Vixen scoffed,
"As if! I'm the perfect woman for Simon!"
Gypsy was holding the camera,
" 'M' rated fic, here I come!"
Supergirl yelled,
"Not if I can help it!"
Diablos groaned from the audience,
"How Crisis put up with her, I'll never know."
Next Chapter:
More Dances, More Insanity