(sorry, the author's note is looong...)
something about this one just feels sort of incomplete for some reason...
SHEET!! FIVE PAGES! 8'D finally!! I havent been able to write one chapter this long in FOREVER!! -cries in joy-
and... yeah, so... this chapter isn't as much torture as... well... mental off-balance. And... yeah, about that little 'incident' at the end... that happened to me once... -averts eyes- and I'm telling you, IT. IS. NOT. FUN. AT. ALL!!... T.T but I was in public when it happened so unlike Allen who had a nice bed to fall on, I struggled to stay concious and literally on my feet...
okay, enough of my ranties... ... ... ... ... .. ... yeah, I don't know where I'm going with this at all, but I have something of a plot planned out... not much though ;; ... so... suggestions, anyone? 8D
And I actually looked in the bible for the manna reference. So I'm hoping most of the facts (medical and biblical) are correct... and 'Alun' is supposedly the earliest translation of 'Allen' and means 'Alone', so... HA! I'M MAKING YOU LEARN STUFF!!
disclaimer: if I owned dgm... well for one thing, I'd have short hair. Yes, people, you heard me, WE HAVE PICTURES OF MADAM HOSHINO KATSURA 8D
(no, this is NOT AllenxOC, it'll be revieled later why Nina acts like this, okay? Okay.)
There was simply quiet. No thoughts entered or exited, no light, no dark, just existence in it's simplest, most broken down form. No big words, no hard-to-understand descriptions, just being in it's essence. The movement of his arm in the chains had stopped. His eyes no longer stares at the walls enclosing in on him. His legs no longer burned with the need to walk away from here. Unrefined, unaltered, unmade existence of three celestial beings, hidden away in one small body and thrown into a coffin that sat upright.
What was his name again? A something... Al something. Alex? Alphonse? Almire? Alkida? Almira? Alma? Alfa? Ally? Alone? No, not Alone... Alun? Something like that. Al..un... Allen?
"I'm Allen?" A voice stretched far beyond its capacity from screaming and cries. Broken from dry-heaves, and sore from strep caught from a soldier. Like talking through a radio with heavy static. No real sense, just simplistic words that pained his throat to say.
It should have been impossible for him to sit upright, everything was aching for relief and sleep. Simple, indefinable pain and fatigue. It would have been impossible for him to sit upright without leaning on the wall, and it wasn't as though he had a choice in that. As it was, his legs were shoved up tightly against the opposite wall. Bent. And still he had no room to do anything other than breath and stare aimlessly ahead.
Bent, broken, twisted, messed, tired, empty, sullen, knotted, dead. Dead.
Were bones supposed to show up through skin like this? When the body is exhausted and in need of energy but has no food source, it will substitute body fat and muscle to fulfill it's needs until an alternate energy source is located. So... He was tired and hungry? Was that it? Well then, why? Why was he trapped in this hell box? Was was there a loud sound? Why was—
"Ahn—" His arms shot up to cover his face from the bright light that poured through the open doors. Open. Open. Opening like the gates of hell, flooding memories in with its supposed promising light, but bringing only the most horror it can possibly withhold. Bring it, drag it, grapple it, breath it, send it, kill it and I. Shit. "Lemigo," He croaked. "Lemme go..."
"I'm not going to hurt you."
Warm. Soft. Kind. Hands. Different hands. He looked up slowly from behind his arms. Not a guard. A girl.
"Thomas, can you help me?" She asked to someone over her shoulder. A large shadow. He scrunched back up into his little ball and hid away again. She ran her hand over his left shoulder down to his elbow softly. Several times. A lot. "Thomas and I arent going to hurt you, okay?" She said calmly. Still stroking his arm. "You arent going to get hurt today." She repeated. He lifted his head up again, much more slowly and carefully. She sounded so much like...
Mana...
"Dont cry, dear," She said, raising her hand slowly to wipe away a small tear from his cheek. "It's okay, you're safe for now." She said again. Slowly, her one hand back to stroaking his shoulder, her other hand moved to her pocket and pulled out a small key ring. She selected one of the smallest and turned it with a small slick into the locks on his arms and legs. They fell away with loud clunks. Allen's arms slid down to his sides and when the heavy ring of iron choking his neck fell away, he completely slumped over into the wall of his confinement.
"Th' kid's been through a lot," Thomas said. "'Pletely worn out..." His strong arms, built with muscle from working on a farm, easily lifted Allen's deteriorating form from the shadows of the coffin. Nina frowned and brushed away the bangs in Allen's face.
"It's cruel." She said. "Making a child fight in this war, then confining him like this." Thomas nodded sadly. "I don't care if he's this so-called traitor or not," Nina sighed, makin sure the path ahead was moderately clear as Thomas carried Allen bridal-style down to the infirmary. "He's still just a poor, abused child..."
"Mana..." Thomas and Nina blinked and looked quickly at Allen. "Fa...ther..." His eyes were closed and leaking tears over small cuts made by Espidan's magic. Tell-tale signs of torture in Central. The very essence of sorrow breaking him apart. "'M sorry..."
Nina frowned sadly again, then sighed. She was going to get wrinkles young at this rate. Everything in Central was just... She inwardly sighed again. This was no time to be remorsing. Instead, she strained for a sad smile and brushed Allen's hair out of his face again, which was slowly growing wet with tears and sweat from a nightmare. He had fallen asleep so quickly in Thomas's arms. "It's okay, Allen," She whispered. A soft familiarity in her words. "Your father's watching you." She said.
"'M sorry..." He was still crying. "'M sorry, Mana..." Overwhelming guilt. Nina and Thomas exchanged sad looks.
"'M so sorry..."
000
His eyes felt weird when he woke up. Like they were stuck together by some invisible glue that wasn't really sticky. Around his eyes his skin was cold and clammy, and heavy. Like there was something over them. His nose too. Everything on the top part of his face. Something very cold and... not entirely solid slid down the side of his face and into his ear. The nerves were shocked, sending jolts along his body. His upper half sprung up on instinct, knocking off the black wet cloth that had been placed over his eyes.
"Thomas, he woke up," Allen turned his head in the direction of the voice, before noticing that there was a long, consistent high-pitched beep at his side. Like a heart-rate monitor that had lost it's pulse.
"Oh, it came off," She said, matter-of-factly. N something... Dangit, Allen was usually very good with remembering names, but he had still been in something of a haze when she told him her name. What was it?
She smiled kindly. "I'm Nina, remember?" She asked. He nodded, slowly, placing the face and the name together. By that time she had come over to his bed and found a small white plastic disc hidden in the sheets, connected to the heart-rate machine by one or two thin wires. His gaze was still somewhat foggy and inaccurate and the wire was so small he couldn't be totally sure. Small details were escaping him easily.
He jumped and tried to back away as Nina lifted his shirt. "It's okay, we're just hooking this thing up again," She explained, "I'm not doing anything perverted or potentially harmful, I told you, you're safe here," Allen flinched at the mention of harm, but nodded and let her reattach the small cup. It was cold and clung loosely to his chest, so it felt very... odd. The machine began beeping in patterns again. Watching it for a moment, Nina sighed and ruffled Allen's hair, making the machine beet insanely momentarily, "Calm down," She said. "And don't move around very much, these things come off easily."
Allen nodded and slowly lay back down, not upsetting the heart-rate meter. At the same time, he couldn't help but notice his heart was ringing in his ears. like footsteps. Coming for him.
Coming for him.
Coming.
I'm coming, Mana...
Mana... Mana help. They're taking me. Help, Mana, please! Please... they're taking me away, Mana, please... Please, save me, please... please...
Mana, my head.. Mana. Mana. Manma, please, Father, help... Father, they're going... going to... going...
I'm going...
It hurts... ... ... ... ... ... it hurts... ... ... ... ... it hurts... ... ... ... it hurts... ... ... ... it hurts... ... ... it hurts... ... it hurts... ... it hurts... it hurts.. it hurts, it hurts it hurts it hurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithusrtsithurtsithurts .it..hurts.
It
HURTS
I'm sorry... I'm sorry, I was stupid...
"I think he's having a nightmare..."
"Is it th't much ofa suprise? Think o' what's happ'n'd t' 'im..."
Mana... I'm sorry, I doubted you... I'm sorry, please... please save me... Mana... Mana... Mah..nah... Maanaah...
Manna was the bread that fed Moses and the Israelites in the dessert. Two quarts per person each day, but on the sixth day, they were to gather twice as much, because the Sabbath was a day of rest for the Lord. There would be no manna that day, and so the Israelites gathered twice as much and kept it overnight. Any other day, the manna kept overnight would grow moldy and filled with worms.
It was white like coriander seed and sweet as wafers with honey. It didn't rise, so it was flat and looked like snowflakes on the dessert's ground.
Mana kept me alive. Mana gave me reasons to live. Mana took me off the streets and helped me grow. Mana, my father, Mana who told me he loved me. Mana, whom I still love above all. Mana, my Mana, who loved Allen.
Mana who jumped in front of an out of control carriage to save me. There may have been a Fourteenth who was the brother of Mana, but there was still the one who loved me.
There was still my
"MANA!"
Allen awoke from it. It. It. Not a dream, not quite a nightmare. An 'it', that he didn't know quite what it was. It was. Real. That was the worlds only truth. Reality existed. That was all there was with it. About it. For it. It being. It. It.
Stop that! Everything was cold. Everything. It spun... it wouldn't stop spinning... stop saying 'it'... you're getting so... annoying, please... Everything... so cold... he couldn't feel anything... everything was spinning... just there... tilted... cold... words weren't making sense... colors...
I'm seeing everything in all or no color... bright yellow... and black... like a bad film or something... Am I seeing ultra violent lights or infrared rays or something?
Blur. Watercolors. Slur. I know what you're saying, but it doesn't make sense in my head. It twists, but I know what you're saying. Please, please help... I'm going to fall over... I'm going to...
My head...
You feel like poison... dont touch me, please... please... I'm going to throw up... no... cant. Stop. Moving...
it's stopped...? No, make it stop...
"A...en... o...you...lo...hor...lie...dow..."
I know. I know I look horrible! But I cant move, I'm going to...
Before I knew it she had gotten me to lie down again. She didn't bother to reattach the heart-rate monitor. I couldn't breathe... I couldn't... how was I?
It all came out in raggid pants... something in my throat... my heart? Lungs? Just my chest? It burned... no, it was just... too warm. Like tar... tar in my chest and lungs. Heated tar. I was going to puke... I...
"Allen... water..."
I could only make out two actual words but understood a full sentence. Somehow.
Water...
The tar went away. Breathe... please... breathe... air...
Cloth on my face... I could think... I could think again. I could feel. My hands were twitching, something on them. My muscles ached. The joints ached. I was so stiff... My vision cleared up... fog lifted and everything stopped moving. I stopped moving.
Allen looked half dead when he finally managed to look at Nina. It took all his energy just to flop his head over on the pillow. He still wasn't breathing very well, but he was breathing. Thomas was running off to get more equipment to try and get him stabilized.
His mind had gone insane and his body had suffered from it. That was all Nina could guess. Like a reaction of great disgust. Something that upset him greatly and triggered a reaction.
"...anks..."
Nina sighed and resisted the temptation to smack him for nearly giving her heart failure. She didn't want to go into asystole just yet...
So she just sighed and smiled a little.
"You're welcome, Allen."
Then was the first smile she had seen on him...
"Nina's here, you're safe..."
Cry with me, I don't know why, but dance the edge of alibi, and sing with me a lullaby until my mind can rest.