Note from Author: Yes, I am continuing with this bizarre story for I have
severe writer's block! Curses! And the fact that tomorrow I am moving into
college for my freshman year. I must say thanks to those that reviewed and
thanks to the Newsies Mary Sue Litmus Test. I got a lot of cliches from
there, go to the website to see if your character's a Mary Sue:
. And on we go-
THE SISTER OF RANDOM NEWSIE INFLICTED WITH AMNESIA
Race: "Jack, I was coming back from Sheep's Head and I found this chick washed up from the river. She was all bloody and beaten and stuff. Do you think she can stay?"
Mary Sue: "Hi. I have amnesia."
Jack: "Amnesia?"
Mary Sue: "Yeah. Amnesia. I don't remember anything about my cliched tragic past, which I guess is all the better. But I know I'm really hot. My long chestnut hair is so shiny and my hazel eyes are so big. And if I were to know my name I know that it would be a totally awesome name. And this one here kept trying to push me into alleys to feel me up."
Race: "Was not. I hate you."
Mary Sue: "Fine. I hate you more."
Race: "Well I hate you most."
Mary Sue: "I hate you morer."
Race: "Well I hate you mostest times infinity."
Jack: "Guys, will you stop with the bickering? You know it's only a lame attempt to cover up the feelings of intense sexual attraction you feel towards each other that will culminate in either a great fuck session or a cheesy kiss in the rain where you cry and say you have always loved each other."
Mary Sue: "Whatever."
Race: "I'm out of here to steal more cigars from Snipeshooter. Hey, do you guys know that you bear an uncanny physical resemblance to each other?"
Jack: "Hey, you know, now that I think about it--"
Mary Sue: "Oh my gosh. We like so do."
Jack: "You don't think we could be--"
Mary Sue: "-brother and sister?"
Jack: "Dude, I so think we are!"
Mary Sue: "OMG! This is so creepy! My memory was just magically restored to me! My name is Kassandra Kloppman and at birth I had a twin brother but we were for some mysterious reason the author never described separated at birth! I went on to live with horrible foster parents who made my life a living hell and who beat me all the time. I just murdered them to avenge them for breaking my spirit and I washed up on the river with amnesia when Race found me. Race-why am I having such peculiar feelings for that stinky chain-smoking Italian! I hate him!"
Jack: "Kassandra Kloppman! Do you know what this means! Kloppman is your father! Kloppman is my father!"
Mary Sue: "Oh, I've found my long lost brother at last!"
Jack: "Oh I found my long lost sister at last! Our family is complete!"
Kloppman: "Oh, fuck. I've found my long lost children at last. I thought I had been rid of them long ago."
Race: "I guess you're all one big happy family now."
Mary Sue: "Yes, I guess we are. I've finally found where I belong. What I've been searching for all my life. But why do I still get all hot and bothered whenever I see Racetrack? Oh my God. I think I love him. But I hate him! What's wrong with me?"
Race: "Look at them. One big happy family. I wish I had a family. But I still hate her. Wait, I don't hate her."
Mary Sue: "Race, I gotta tell you something. I think I love you."
Race: "Oh, jeepers! Really? I've loved you all along! I thought you hated me?"
Mary Sue: "I thought you hated me!"
Race: "Wow. So, do you want to go kiss in the rain and cry and profess how much we adore each other or just have a great fuck session?"
Mary Sue: "Hello, the second one! We can save the happy fluffy bullshit for the sequel."
THE SISTER OF RANDOM NEWSIE INFLICTED WITH AMNESIA
Race: "Jack, I was coming back from Sheep's Head and I found this chick washed up from the river. She was all bloody and beaten and stuff. Do you think she can stay?"
Mary Sue: "Hi. I have amnesia."
Jack: "Amnesia?"
Mary Sue: "Yeah. Amnesia. I don't remember anything about my cliched tragic past, which I guess is all the better. But I know I'm really hot. My long chestnut hair is so shiny and my hazel eyes are so big. And if I were to know my name I know that it would be a totally awesome name. And this one here kept trying to push me into alleys to feel me up."
Race: "Was not. I hate you."
Mary Sue: "Fine. I hate you more."
Race: "Well I hate you most."
Mary Sue: "I hate you morer."
Race: "Well I hate you mostest times infinity."
Jack: "Guys, will you stop with the bickering? You know it's only a lame attempt to cover up the feelings of intense sexual attraction you feel towards each other that will culminate in either a great fuck session or a cheesy kiss in the rain where you cry and say you have always loved each other."
Mary Sue: "Whatever."
Race: "I'm out of here to steal more cigars from Snipeshooter. Hey, do you guys know that you bear an uncanny physical resemblance to each other?"
Jack: "Hey, you know, now that I think about it--"
Mary Sue: "Oh my gosh. We like so do."
Jack: "You don't think we could be--"
Mary Sue: "-brother and sister?"
Jack: "Dude, I so think we are!"
Mary Sue: "OMG! This is so creepy! My memory was just magically restored to me! My name is Kassandra Kloppman and at birth I had a twin brother but we were for some mysterious reason the author never described separated at birth! I went on to live with horrible foster parents who made my life a living hell and who beat me all the time. I just murdered them to avenge them for breaking my spirit and I washed up on the river with amnesia when Race found me. Race-why am I having such peculiar feelings for that stinky chain-smoking Italian! I hate him!"
Jack: "Kassandra Kloppman! Do you know what this means! Kloppman is your father! Kloppman is my father!"
Mary Sue: "Oh, I've found my long lost brother at last!"
Jack: "Oh I found my long lost sister at last! Our family is complete!"
Kloppman: "Oh, fuck. I've found my long lost children at last. I thought I had been rid of them long ago."
Race: "I guess you're all one big happy family now."
Mary Sue: "Yes, I guess we are. I've finally found where I belong. What I've been searching for all my life. But why do I still get all hot and bothered whenever I see Racetrack? Oh my God. I think I love him. But I hate him! What's wrong with me?"
Race: "Look at them. One big happy family. I wish I had a family. But I still hate her. Wait, I don't hate her."
Mary Sue: "Race, I gotta tell you something. I think I love you."
Race: "Oh, jeepers! Really? I've loved you all along! I thought you hated me?"
Mary Sue: "I thought you hated me!"
Race: "Wow. So, do you want to go kiss in the rain and cry and profess how much we adore each other or just have a great fuck session?"
Mary Sue: "Hello, the second one! We can save the happy fluffy bullshit for the sequel."
