A/N: Yeah…I have not updated this in a while, but while perusing the Newsie Mary Sue Litmus Test (Google it, it's gold) I came across an plot device that I just had to do…

THE TIME TRAVELER GIRL FROM THE PRESENT

Mary Sue: "Oh my God! So my life just like sucks so much! I totally hate living in 2009! The present is so gross! EWH! I think I am an old soul and I was like totally born in the wrong year! I know I am destined to like in like the year 1899….because…just because!!! I don't fit in in the present! Oh, and I am so gorgeous. I have long golden hair that would put the sun's rays to shame. And my eyes are so intriguing…one is blue and the other is green!"

:: Scene of walking::

Mary Sue: "So I am just like walking down the street minding my own business and I see this creepy homeless woman up ahead. Ewh, what does she want? Oh, look she is giving me a pretty red amulet. She's telling me to follow my destiny. OMG! I think she was a witch! I think it could be a time machine! I wish I was in 1899!"

::Flash of light::

Mary Sue: "Oh my God! I am in 1899! This is so awesome! This is my destiny! I was right! That old homeless lady was a witch and she wanted me to fulfill my destiny."

Spot: "Uh…hey there. My name's Spot Conlon…So we can go through twenty more chapters with us getting to know each better and falling and love and the inevitable climax of this shitty story where you become conflicted because although you are madly in love with me and know I am your soul mate, you still miss your family from whatever-the-hell-year you are from and want to go back to them…but I gotta poker game I gotta catch with the boys in a few and I don't want to be late."

Mary Sue: "Um…so what are you saying, Spot Conlon?"

Spot: "I'm saying cut the readers and me the bullshit, honey, because ultimately you will realize you love me above all else and want to stay in 1899 with me…but as I said, I'm in a hurry."

Mary Sue: "Um…so what are you saying, Spot Conlon?"

Spot: "What I'm saying is…wanna fuck?"

Mary Sue: "Sure!"

::Scenes of wild fucking::

Spot: Thanks, sweetheart, that was great, but I gotta get going. SEE YA!

::Mary Sue all alone with amulet. Crying.::

Mary Sue: "What the hell? That wasn't part of my destiny! I think I was used!"