I realize that I've been neglecting this, and so I'm updating! Yay! This letter contains a bit of SandxFire and slight SandxDust, if that's how you want to interpret it. ;)

Dear Dustpelt,

Do you remember when we were young? Those days seem oh-so-long ago now. When we were kits in the nursery, we were the best of friends. Your mother and my mother would gossip like no she-cats you had ever heard before, and then would be our chance to stir up some real mischief. Oh, the trouble we got into! Yes, those were the days, so young and carefree as we were.

Next came our apprenticeship, and, as I am sure you will recall, our contrary behaviour continued right on into that era. Those were grand times; the dawn patrols, the hunting lessons, the laughs we had together . . . I remember them all so clearly, Dustpelt. And I don't want to let them go. As I cherish them, I hope that you do, too.

Midway through our training, though, the peace was shattered. Everything we had, the confidence we shared, was interrupted by Fireheart.

I know you shun the name almost as much as you shun the cat himself, an act that drives a thorn into my very heart. Nothing but a kittypet is all he is to you; you sneer the words with a sniff and a grimace, as if he is not worth the breath and time and effort it takes to say it like you care.

You are wrong, Dustpelt; we were wrong. I was wrong. I know we thought little of him in the beginning, but I realize now that we were wrong to shun him. There, see? I admitted it! I admitted it, and, great StarClan, I'm still alive. It wasn't that hard after all, to confess your faults, not at all the torture and embarrassment we thought it to be as kits. I have come a long way from who I used to be, in body and mind and spirit, and you can, as well.

Admitting is only hard when you don't mean it. If you do mean it, well . . . I have found out that it really isn't so bad, in the end. I think the trick is to care about what you are confessing to. Whether it is a falsely assumed concept or outcome or even a living being, if you have a place in your heart for them then you can do anything, anything at all. If you really and truly care for them.

And maybe even if you love them.

. . . Did I just say that? Did I just write that? No, I didn't really. It's just a trick of the mind, that's all, nothing more. That part about loving somebody . . . oh, you know I didn't really mean it! But perhaps I did. I don't know! I'm so confused, Dustpelt, and I wish that I could talk to you, face-to-face like a normal conversation, so I could tell you about all of this in person and not in a stupid letter. But I know it won't happen that way, will it? Because you are angry, and . . . and I suppose that I can see the reason why.

I miss the way it used to be, the times when we were the very best of friends: back in the day when we shared all of our secrets; back to moons of warm companionship. Those times are gone now, and, though I can feel them trickling helplessly away through my paws, there is nothing I can do to stop them. We have grown distant, but what might I do? If there was ever any hope in rekindling our friendship, it was swallowed by the hatred in your gaze and the contempt in your words. It is like you don't want to be friends anymore, and that is what hurts most of all.

Fireheart is a decent cat, Dustpelt, and I want you to see that. How is it that your heart can be so torn in two? I want to stay your best friend, but at the same time I want to be with Fireheart--maybe not for forever, but for a while, at least. As a friend. But it doesn't look like those prospects can happen alongside together, and I suppose now I've ruined everything by trying.

I miss you, so much. Please don't let our friendship burn away into nothing! They say that change is inevitable, but I believe that things can only change if you let them.

I love you, Dustpelt. I always have and I always will. I hope you write back soon.

Your very, very best friend,

Sandstorm

Hmm . . . maybe a little too deep for Sandstorm? Nevertheless, I enjoyed it writing it; again, it was very fresh and light to write. Yummy.

-poke- Hey, reviews are yummy, too! :D

--Annie;;/

Sunday February 8, 2009