Disclaimer: You know what, I have a surprise for you! I own Kingdom Hearts! ….if by Kingdom Hearts, you mean, a copy of the game that actually belongs to my brother…

Before He Cheats

Sora didn't bother knocking on Riku's door. He'd already decided the matter at hand was far too important for his friend's privacy. So he burst into Riku's apartment unannounced in the middle of the night. Well, not quite the middle, more like the first quarter, but that is neither here nor there.

Riku, unfortunately, was asleep on his couch at this point. He was actually having quite a nice nap right then.

"Riku, I need your help!"

The silver-haired male jumped, choked on an inhaled breath, and fell of his couch in a tangle of blankets. He managed to find his way out of the blanket to glare blearily at Sora.

"What do you want?" he asked, half sleepy, half furious. "What's important enough that you came busting into my house and woke me up?!"

"Sorry," Sora said, totally remorseless. "It's important, trust me."

"What?!" Riku asked impatiently.

"I found out Marluxia's cheating on me," he answered, serious. "And need your help to get revenge."

"Oh, so we're talking revenge are we?" Riku was actually awake now. "Well, what are you planning?"

"Well, I- wait…why don't you sound surprised, or pissed?"

Riku sighed. "I told you a week ago that he was cheating on you. Not my fault you didn't believe me." He then rolled over and buried his head under the covers. "Talk me into helping you tomorrow. I wanna sleep."

Sora scowled at him. "No, we need to do it now!" He went to the entertainment center surrounding Riku's widescreen TV and took out a video camera. "He's out right now with some girl."

Riku unearthed himself. "Why do we need a video camera?"

Sora rolled his eyes. "Come on," he said, grabbing Riku's arm. "Just get your lazy butt up." He dragged his friend to the door and was half way through shutting the door behind them when he registered what Riku was saying.

"Uh, okay….but can I put on some pants first?"

Sora looked down at his friend, who was wearing a t-shirt and dark blue boxers. "Oh…what are you waiting for, go get dressed!" He shoved Riku back in the door, sending him tripping over a rug.

"Wow, Sora, didn't think you'd ever suggest something this mean," Riku said in awe. They were in Riku's car (Sora had left his at home), following Sora's directions to a bar somewhere in the city.

"Well, maybe your rubbing off on me," Sora answered noncommittally. "Either way, you're helping right?"

Riku smiled widely. "Of course. How could I resist?" He made a sharp left turn into a parking lot. "Well, let's go."

Sora and Riku skulked to the end of the lot, toward Marluxia's car. Sora thanked all the gods that may be listening that Marluxia had left his spare keys where Sora could get to them. He clicked the unlock button so the alarm wouldn't go off, and hefted a baseball bat onto his shoulder.

He looked toward Riku, grinning. "Shall we?"

Riku nodded. "We shall. And we're live in five, four, three, two, one!" He turned on the camera as Sora swung the bat at one headlight. It resulted in a satisfying crunch and tinkle of glass and plastic.

He knocked out the second headlight in two swings, then turned to smile at the camera. He pulled out a set of keys from his back pocket.

"You know that set of spare keys?" He dug them deep into the flawless paint job, sending flecks of paint to the ground. "I'm taking 'em back."

Riku looked out from behind the camera. "Here, I got an idea." He traded Sora the camera for the keys. Sora filmed as Riku dug a message into the paint. Honk if you think I'm a bastard, was soon scrawled across the back fender.

"Nice," Sora said appreciatively. "Good to know I've got friends I can count on." He handed the camera back to Riku.

"Yep, cuz you're choice in boyfriends sucks so far," Riku commented. "You could do so much better."

Sora shrugged. "Well, Marluxia's an ass either way. It was just a matter of time before somebody did this." He took a switchblade out of a pocket and knelt to slash a hole in one tire. Sora closed his eyes in pleasure at the resulting hiss. "Music to my ears," he said softly.

Riku laughed. "Sora, the camera loves you!" he shouted enthusiastically. "Give us a kiss!"

Sora puckered his lips and blew a kiss at the video camera, then collapsed into a fit of giggles. Riku took the knife from him and finished slashing all four tires, seeing as Sora was incapacitated.

He went to retrieve the camera from Sora, but stopped when an unholy grin crossed his face.

"Riku?" Sora said questioningly. "I don't know what idea you just got, but that grin is gonna scare the piss out of anyone who sees this. I think I like it."

"You've got the keys, right?"

Sora held them up. "Yep, but it's already unlocked. Have at it."

Riku grinned wider and climbed into the passenger side of the car. Sora followed, still taping. Riku flipped the knife in his hand before starting to carve something out in the black leather seat.

He sat back after a moment, looking at his handiwork. His name was carved deep into the seat, with a small heart beneath it. Sora laughed and grabbed at the knife, handing Riku the camera.

"Yeah," Riku said easily. "I thought we ought to sign our artwork. You know, in case it sells big or something."

Riku ♥ Sora

"Jeez," Riku said uncomfortably. "It looks like we're dating or something…"

"We are."

"What?!" Sora grinned widely as Riku spluttered. He leaned over and placed a kiss on the older boy's cheek, which shut him up.

"Yes," Sora said assuredly. "We're dating."

Riku looked aghast for a moment, then glared playfully at Sora. "Aren't you supposed to ask me? What if I don't want you?"

Sora pouted. "Aw, come on, I'm on the rebound and I'm weak. You wouldn't turn me down and crush my heart like that would you?" He gave Riku a pleading look.

"Well, when you put it that way…" Riku leaned forward and captured Sora's mouth in a kiss that had him blushing. The brunette put his arms around Riku's neck, pulling him closer.

When they decided to come up for air, Sora looked around at the car they'd been trashing.

"We should probably leave. I think we're done, right?" He didn't voice the thought that maybe they could continue their previous make-out session elsewhere.

Riku was silent, then Sora saw that same smirk crawling over his face, meaning he'd either had a very good, or a very bad idea. Probably both.

"You said you wanted to really ruin his car right?" he asked Sora slyly. "You wanted to desecrate the poor vehicle, correct?"

"Yeah," Sora answered slowly. "I really don't know…what…."

Riku closed the door, pressed the lock button, and yanked Sora into the backseat with him.

Marluxia walked back to his car, just the slightest bit drunk. A bleach blonde woman was hanging on his arm. Pulling his keys out, he fumbled for the button to unlock the car. He only found it slightly odd that the headlights didn't seem quite as bright as normal when they flashed.

When he finally did reach his car, his jaw dropped. The headlights were smashed, all four tires were flat from being slashed open, and someone had keyed his car, along with a message to other drivers.

He dropped the woman's arm and went to his car, nearly pulling out his long pink hair in frustration. Shaking with temper, he wrenched open the driver's side door, ignoring the calls of 'What the hell are you crying for?'

He sat in shock as the opposite door opened. The woman opened her mouth to say something, but Marluxia cut her off.

"Don't, Larxene. Just don't, for the love of God…" As she snickered at how pitiful he sounded, Marluxia spotted a note attached to the dash. On the consol for his in-car DVD player was a note reading, Press play.

He hurriedly shut Larxene up, earning himself a jab in the ribs, and pressed the play button. The pair watched in a daze, of either despair or amusement, as Sora and Riku took turns trashing Marluxia's car on camera. There was a moment of static, then Riku came back on screen.

The silver haired male was looking sated, shirtless, and sweaty. He drew back a hand from turning on the video camera and waved at the screen, grinning.

"Sorry about the stains, Marly," he said, sounding on the verge of laughter. "You know Sora…well, actually, you don't, seeing as he claims you never actually got to the whole sex part of the relationship." He laughed easily. "Man, you got ripped off. Have fun with your bitch!"

The video clicked off, followed by silence. After a moment of silence, Marluxia and Larxene turned simultaneously toward the backseat. Marluxia made a sound somewhat like that of a dying animal, while Larxene went into hysterics.

"Hope you aren't thinking of cheating on me," Larxene said after a moment. "Cuz I'll make this look like child's play."

A/N: Nothing special to say, just review pretty please.