Thank you for all the reviews! It's hard to find time to write between work and the new puppy. Puppies are like furry, adorable time sucks. I can't imagine having children. You can't put those in a crate and go downtown for 4 hours.
Here's your warning. Some sex near the end of this chap. And Bella's fucking crazy. I love this Bella.
"So, Jasper," I started as I sat down on a table. I grabbed a cigarette from someone's pack. "Why the fuck would you send a hot chick to come get me from the house if you knew she was a crazy whore?"
Jasper looked up at the ceiling with a thoughtful expression. "Sort of like a… Welcome Home present, maybe," he smiled and nodded. Alice rolled her eyes at him and tilted her head at me.
"She's not that bad, Edward. She just likes to have fun. It's just sex. It's not like she's out doing crack or anything," she said, and her face immediately whitened and then turned red. "I didn't mean… I mean," she mumbled at her hands and Emmett snickered in the background.
I smiled ruefully. "I'm not that bad, Alice. I'm just having fun. It's just crack. It's not like I'm doing heroine or… steroids." I threw in the last one because that neckless wonder behind me was really fucking annoying, and I kind of felt bad for smarting off to Alice. She was all dainty and tiny and she HAD tried to gloss over the situation at the airport. But I didn't know her. Maybe she really did think of me like that. She didn't know me, either, anyway. Tensions were high. I was probably just fucking overreacting, but I'd never been good at diffusing shit.
I dropped the cigarette I was twirling between my fingers and as I bent to pick it up, I felt a gust of wind over my head, then felt the weight of a massive body fall onto my back. I leaned forward further and Emmett toppled to the ground as Alice and Jasper jumped off the couch and out of the way.
"WHAT the FUCK, man?" I was standing now, staring down at Emmett as he jumped to his feet, glaring daggers at me. I hadn't even heard him move from the chair, and I was a bit amazed.
"Is this about the steroids remark, because you're really not helping yourself here. I was just joking, but now I'm thinking it's probably true."
He swung at me again and Alice screamed. Jasper grabbed at his arm like it would help and he stepped between us as I jumped out of the way.
"Rosalie, a little help, please," Jasper grunted, still holding Emmett at bay.
Rosalie sighed and flipped her hair off her shoulders. "I don't know, he's been insulting everyone ever since he got here. Maybe he needs a good beating."
Alice and Jasper screamed together, this time. "ROSALIE!"
I was standing off in a far corner, actually a little concerned for my life because I really couldn't take the guy on. Rosalie finally stood up to soothe the fucking beast. I was contemplating grabbing a chair to hold in front of me lion tamer style, but she calmed him down with a few words and her hand on his crotch. I glanced around. Awkward, anyone? She mouthed something to Jasper, who let go of Emmett and walked over to me with Alice trailing behind again.
"We're going to head up to the house to make sure no one's upstairs stealing shit or puking on the carpets," Jasper said, and I knew he didn't mean just Alice and him. He meant I was coming, too. Not that I had any intention of staying in the pool house with just Emmett and his girl anyway. Somehow I doubted the hand-on-crotch technique would work as well for me if I used it to try to calm him down.
"Yeah, no problem. I wouldn't mind if you pointed out who you buy your weed from, either. I'd like to be introduced," I hastily pulled open the door and we all walked out under the trees.
"It's Bella," Jasper said.
My eyes darted to the path, but there was no one there. I turned back to look at Jasper, confused.
"Bella supplies. Not everyone, just her closest friends," he shrugged his shoulders at me. "There are other people, too, but hers is the best."
Alice nodded, bouncing on the balls of her feet as we walked. She leaped up onto Jasper's back and I thought maybe he hadn't even felt it. He casually reached back to support her and the party came into full view. I quickly scanned for Bella, realizing how fucking pathetic I was, but not caring.
"Does she sleep with everyone or is she just a fucking tease?" I questioned.
Jasper looked momentarily uncomfortable, but his sedate demeanor came back quickly and he half smiled at me.
"I think she just likes all the attention. You know how that is, right?" He winked at me. Fucking prick.
"Yeah. I think you just called me a man whore, but I'm going to let it go because we're family." Usually someone taking a shot at my... easy nature would piss me off, but he was my cousin and family can joke with family. Even if you haven't seen them since you were making and regularly consuming mud pies.
Alice snorted and covered her mouth as she laughed.
"I think Bella likes you, Edward. I think you give her a run for her money and she likes that," she said as she slid off of Jasper's back. He pulled open the door to the basement and we pushed past the crowd and up the stairs to do a perimeter check.
I thought back to the girl who pinned me against the house just thirty minutes earlier. "I'd say she's giving me a run for my-" I stopped and sucked in a breath. The upstairs of Rosalie's house was fucking pristine. Everything was white. When Jasper closed the door there wasn't even a ghost of a sound from the chaos downstairs. There was a loud bark and the jingle of tags as three perfectly groomed white dogs ran up to us. They circled our legs, jumping up and down frantically. I grunted and tried to toe them away from me gently, but those fuckers were persistent. Jasper was petting one behind the ear as it stood on its back legs, tongue hanging out.
"Ah, so this is hell. Cerberus does exist," I deadpanned and toed one of the more persistent puffballs.
Alice laughed and we stumbled through the house with the dogs around our ankles. If anyone was fucking around in any of the rooms up here, they had fair warning that someone was coming. We didn't find anyone downstairs, and as we passed the last room on the third floor, I was ready to kick the fucking dogs down the stairs. I'd tripped twice and my jeans were covered in long white hairs.
"How the fuck do we get out of here? I'm about to be on PETA's most wanted list," I gestured towards the dogs and scratched the back of my head in frustration.
Jasper pointed up and Alice and I both looked up at the ceiling.
I looked back at Jasper with narrowed eyes and raised my eyebrows. "Are you really considering checking the fucking attic? If someone's up there stealing heirlooms, I say let them."
Jasper smirked and tucked a strand of his hair back behind his ear. "I'm saying we go sit on the widow's walk and watch the party."
He was already lifting Alice up onto his shoulders so she could grab the handle to the door in the ceiling. Maybe from that angle I could get a better idea of what Bella's game was. And I could really use a cigarette. I hadn't had a chance to smoke the stolen one before Emmett attacked me from behind like a fucking pussy.
"Yeah, alright, whatever," I said as I took a step back out of their way. Alice was nearly at the handle and her shirt was riding up. Her jeans were low slung and I looked away before Jasper caught me staring. With a loud crash, the door to the attic banged open, stairs sliding all the way down. Jasper caught Alice and fell backwards out of the way. I jumped back, narrowly missing one of the puffy dogs. In return for not stepping on it, the little fucker bit my ankle. I shrieked like no man ever should and kicked my foot. The dog slid across the hardwoods and came back full force.
I broke for the shaky wooden stairs just as the dog leaped at me again.
"FUCK OFF, HOLY CHRIST!" I clung to the stairs, hanging upside down, most likely gushing blood and tried to swing my body around to the right side of the ladder.
Of course Jasper and Alice were dissolved in laughter. Lots of help. I snaked my arm through the stairs, probably getting fiberglass all in my skin and lifted myself through the rungs to the right side. My back scraped across a metal bar and I hissed as I pulled my legs through. Alice climbed up after me, but I was already at the top fishing for my cell phone in my pants pockets.
"Are you calling Whine One One, Ed?" Jasper said, throwing his head back in laughter. I sneered at him and examined my ankle with the light from my cell phone.
"No, it's okay. I was only robbed by a crazy chick and mauled by a dog on my first day here. It's fine. No need to worry about me, you fucker. I've probably got rabies, now," I said and twisted my leg to get a better look. Not even a fucking drip of blood. So, possibly the scream was a bit excessive. The little dog was growling at the bottom of the stairs and his two buddies flanked the ladder. I pointed at them menacingly, for good measure, and Alice pulled up the stairs with a loud bang.
Alice's voice came from somewhere close by in the cramped, dark attic. "You okay, really?" I felt her hand on my arm and I swallowed. One thousand hormone-filled scenarios of Alice and I reeled through my mind before I caught myself.
"I'm fine," I said. "My sock will soak up the bleeding." There was no need for them to know that the dog didn't even break the skin.
The light flickered on and Jasper was across the room. He pulled open a wooden door, revealing a spiral staircase. Alice dropped her hand from my arm and I watched her step delicately across the tiny beams. I followed, trying really fucking hard not to step on the insulation and fall through the ceiling.
The staircase wound up onto the roof and I could feel the wind rushing down at me. Jasper and then Alice emerged onto the roof. I stepped out after them and shut the door behind me. It was beautiful, actually. Alice had a tight hold on Jasper's hand and she looked up at the stars. Jasper stared at her, and I walked towards the other end of the narrow walkway to give them some privacy.
My hand reached up to my hair to grab the cigarette I'd shoved behind my ear earlier. Nothing was there. I'd probably lost it in the vicious dog attack. With a sigh, I put my hands on the low railing, leaning down to look at the heads of the kids below me. The party was a huge cacophony of voices, music, and screams, but it was distant. There was nothing like this in LA. The trees and the plants. Everything was alive. I tilted my head, listening intently to pick out the sound of crickets or tree frogs or cicadas or something I'd heard of but never actually heard before.
Instead of chirping, though, I heard moaning. Close moaning. I glanced over at Jasper and Alice. Alice was on her tip toes whispering to Jasper, but they weren't moaning. I turned and looked down to the far end of the widow's walk. It was empty, but the top of a chimney was sticking up about ten feet from where I was standing.
Someone was fucking on the roof. And they had no idea we were even here. I walked towards the sounds and folded my arms as I stepped around the chimney.
I don't know what I was expecting, but I was not prepared to see Bella pinned against the brick by some kid with his pants around his ankles. Her legs were around his waist and her hair was sticking to the bricks behind her. His hands were on her thighs, supporting her, and her nails were digging into his shoulders. She was the one fucking moaning. He was grunting quietly.
They still hadn't seen me. I could walk away and pretend it never happened, but if they saw me walking away from their session, I'd be embarrassed. Like I caught them and was trying to give them some decency, and that wasn't really my nature. If I stayed, I could harass her about it. I leaned against the railing and kept my arms folded. I wished I had a fucking cigarette right now, not because of the sex, but to give me something to do with my hands.
I glanced over at Jasper and Alice and they were not even aware I existed anymore. When I looked back at the peep show, Bella was staring directly at me through a curtain of her hair. I nearly fell off the fucking balcony. Normal people would tap out, scream, grab for clothing, anything except keep fucking going. She raised one of her hands above her head and grabbed the edge of the chimney, still staring at me. I stared back, but I was getting fucking uncomfortable. This girl was fucked up. I glanced away and scratched my nose. She threw her head back and whimpered softly.
That was it. I stood up and headed back for the door. I didn't turn around when the guy yelled or when Bella laughed loudly. Jasper and Alice were staring at me, confused and I stalked in between them putting my hands up to stop the questions. They looked back at the chimney and Jasper hummed, then clapped his hands together.
"Was someone fucking up here the whole fucking time?" He was running down the narrow stairs to catch up with me. I was already trying to shove the attic stairs down.
"Bella is a fucked up chick, Jasper. Bella is fucked up. I don't even... I mean. I've done some crazy fucking shit, right? But. She's insane," I said, and disappeared down the ladder, not even caring about the crazy ass dogs that were probably waiting for my tasty ankle meat.
Jasper hopped down the stairs after me, but stopped at the bottom to help Alice down. He didn't bother to close the attic door as he followed me through the house.
"She was fucking some guy up there and when she saw me, she didn't even stop. She stared at me in the fucking face and kept riding him. Is that not something that unsettles you?" I asked, pointing my finger at myself first, and then at him.
Alice shrugged at me as Jasper ran his hand down the back of his neck. "Bella's just… Bella, man. I don't know. What do you want me to do, tell her to stop humping guys in locations you might show up in?"
I blinked at them.
"You're both fucked up, too," I said and stalked out the front door of the house onto the massive, springy front lawn. Jasper and Alice didn't follow.
Who was I kidding. I wasn't disgusted. I was fucking jealous.