Summary: The journey of Sai and Hikaru continues when Sai returns. Encompasses the point from when Sai disappears to the Hokuto Cup.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, settings, etc. pertaining to the manga series, Hikaru no Go, by Yumi Hotta, and illustrated by Takeshi Obata.
Chapter Three: Friendship and Rivalry
This was it. Touya would finally be able to measure Shindou's strength for himself. He would finally be able to see who the real Shindou was. He walked into the elevator, noticing Ochi was also in it. Ochi glared at him and Touya sighed. He hoped this elevator ride wouldn't take too long.
"You're playing Shindou today?" Touya looked at Ochi when he spoke up, surprised he had mentioned him. He had gotten the impression Ochi didn't like Shindou much, though that may have been partly because of him. He remembered how Ochi had wanted Touya to recognize him as a rival, but all Touya could think about was Shindou. Ochi just wasn't good enough. Touya could beat him easily.
"Yes," Touya answered neutrally.
"Compared to the higher dans you've been playing these days, I bet you'll win this easily, eh?" Ochi was still glaring at him.
Touya spared Ochi another glance as the elevator stopped. "I'll know when we play," he answered as he got off, only to come face to face with the object of their discussion talking to Waya and Saeki. He and Shindou stared at each other for a moment before he walked past them without a word.
Waya turned to Ochi even as Shindou made to follow Touya. "Oi, Ochi. What were you discussing with Touya?"
Ochi glared again. "Shindou," he answered curtly.
"Yeah, that tells me something," Waya said sarcastically. "What about Shindou?"
"I asked him if he was going to win easily against Shindou, seeing as how he's sweeping past the higher dans."
"Well, that's an obvious answer. Of course he thinks he is. That arrogant…" Waya trailed off at Ochi's darkening expression. "What? Did he say something else?"
"…He said he wouldn't know until they played."
The three of them fell silent at that. Touya was easily beating the higher dans at the moment, yet he didn't know if he could easily beat a beginner dan? Ochi clenched his fists.
"Remember the rumours we heard when Shindou first became an Insei that he was Touya's rival? Everybody thought it couldn't be true…"
"But it actually was."
"To think there's someone even the rising star, Touya Akira, will acknowledge as his equal."
Just who is Shindou Hikaru? That was the thought on each of their minds.
"Touya," Hikaru greeted him as he entered the playing room. "We're finally going to play."
Touya turned to look at him. "This is going to be our first game since the School Go Tournament. It's been two years and four months since then."
"Two years and four months?" Hikaru repeated dazedly. Wow. So much has changed since then. Back then, I would have never imagined myself in this position right now. "It sure has been a long time."
"Yes," Touya sounded almost wistful. "It has been a very long time." Then his eyes hardened. It's time for you to show me your true strength, Shindou. No more hiding and running away.
"I'll nigiri," Touya offered, reminiscent of their second game when Sai had played through Shindou, but at least this time, Shindou knew what it meant. He guessed even correctly and so got black, while Touya got white. He would be starting, so Touya got a five and a half komi advantage, same as that game.
However, this time Shindou would be playing by himself. He would show Touya that he was worthy to be his rival. He had gained his own strength now, strength that was still growing as a result of his late start. He just hoped his current level was high enough at the moment. He started, placing his first stone on the right upper star.
Touya responded immediately, not even taking time to think. Shindou played again, and once more Touya placed his stone without delay. He was playing speed Go, Shindou realised, regardless of the time they were allotted. It seemed Touya was impatient to get into the real game. Fine then. I can't wait either. We'll jump straight in.
The first stage of the game developed rapidly from there. They jumped headlong into a complicated battle. I won't fall behind you, Touya. Not when this is our first true battle ever. The first three times, Sai was also there, but this time, it'll be all me. How will it go, I wonder?
Sai watched the game with interest. Yes, these two were meant to be. Their intrinsic dance across the goban complemented each other, but simultaneously clashed, bringing them closer and further away from each other. They were like magnets, one side attracting, while the other repelled. In the end, it would be a close battle. It was impossible to tell who would win.
Oh, Hikaru will lose by a hand at this rate, Sai thought aloud, knowing that during games, Hikaru's concentration became so intense he would notice nothing except the game and his opponent. It seemed Hikaru had already noticed anyways, even as Sai thought it and he fought back. Hikaru has always been tricky, easily seeing things others would miss. He has great insight.
He's keeping up, Touya realised. He reads my plans instantly. Was this the strength everyone else saw in Shindou that I no longer did after I tried to avoid him, even as I was still pulled to him? Kurata-san, Yun-sensei, father, Ogata-san and Kuwabara-san; they all see something in him. Is this it? He's at the same level as the upper dans already, even though in title, he's still a beginner.
Rank has no bearing on talent though, Touya knew that too, and Shindou has plenty of it. His potential seems limitless. He just keeps rising higher and higher. I have no doubt now. It was just as I always expected of you, Shindou. Your true ability that I was always seeking is every bit what I thought it should be: it is here now and it will continue growing. You truly are my eternal rival.
As he thought the words though, he was shocked at Shindou's next move. The only word reverberating in his mind was: Sai.
Sai had been watching the game closely and immediately noticed it too. Hikaru, he whispered, but he knew Hikaru wouldn't be able to hear. He also wouldn't notice. Sai's Go was a part of Hikaru's very own, integrating itself until it became a crucial part of Hikaru's Go. However, when playing against opponents who were still wary of Sai's identity in connection to Shindou, such as Touya and Ogata, this was dangerous. There was no way Touya couldn't have noticed whose move it resembled. The only question now was what Touya would do about it.
Touya's thoughts were whirling. He knew what he had seen. There had been no mistake. That was Sai. It was impossible though. It had to be. He had established already that Shindou wasn't Sai, yet he couldn't deny his existence in Hikaru's Go. What was going on? Focus on the game right now, he reminded himself. Think about this later.
The battle continued on, neither giving an inch. Finally, the bell rang for lunch and both of them breathed a sigh of relief to be able to relax for a moment. Waya, Saeki and Ochi had immediately gathered around Touya and Shindou's goban to see their game. What kind of game did two rivals play?
Their thoughts were exactly how Touya and Shindou had planned their game to be: a quickly developing, complicated battle. It was fairly even at the moment. The three were amazed that Shindou was actually on par with Touya. He truly was Touya's rival. They had just needed to really see it for themselves first to believe it.
They dispersed soon after with this revelation in their heads, leaving the two rivals alone in the room. Shindou stood up and stretched. He turned to Touya. "Let's go eat lunch." Touya didn't answer though; he just continued staring at the game. Shindou sighed. "Touya-" Shindou tried again, but was cut off.
"Sai," Touya uttered and Shindou froze, almost choking. Sai too had stopped from where he had been moving towards Shindou. They both stared at Touya who was still looking at the board.
This is bad. I knew he would notice. How will Hikaru get out of this one?
"It's really weird. Playing you keeps reminding me of Sai from the internet."
Shindou laughed nervously, glancing at Sai. "We've talked about this remember, Touya? You know I'm not Sai. If I play like him, it's probably because we've both studied Shusaku's kifu a lot. I'm flattered you think so highly of my Go, though," he joked. He backed out of the room slowly.
"Stop joking around!" Touya stood up, irritated, following him. "You always do that. You always get me mad and then we'll start fighting and I'll forget totally about the topic I had been discussing with you in the first place. It's not going to work this time. I want answers. Your playing doesn't only remind me of Sai from the internet. It also reminds me of when you played me when we first met. You remember those two games, don't you?"
They were now outside the playing rooms. Touya stepped closer to Hikaru, who took a step back. "It's almost like there are two of you."
Hikaru's eyes widened at that, and Sai gave a gasp, but Touya didn't notice either of them. Hikaru turned away and bent down to put his shoes on slowly, avoiding Touya's eyes resolutely. Touya didn't care. He continued his accusations in a firm voice. "The first you is Sai, the one that enabled you to win easily against the strongest Go players in the world without even knowing the game yet. He played better than most Pros could without even being able to hold the stones properly yet. That talent and play was the same as Honinbo Shusaku's.
"The second you, though, was a real beginner. He was the one I played that third time, halfway through the game. That's why it seemed so different. That time, I really was playing someone who had never played before. The second you had the same potential though, so the first you, Sai stepped back, didn't he, to bring that potential out. I can see it now, your growth. Sai exists within you. You're not Sai, but you are him too, aren't you?"
Touya stared at Shindou as he stood up again and they settled into an uncomfortable silence. Touya knew what he was saying sounded crazy, but it had seemed to be making so much sense before. Maybe he should just stop now and save himself the embarrassment. Really, what was he saying? Two Shindous? It wasn't possible…yet it fit in Touya's mind. He stared at Hikaru, who hadn't moved either and was now staring straight back at him. He steeled himself. He wasn't going to back down now.
"People may think you are two separate people or the same person, but I know it's not either. It's both. I know this because I know you best because I've played against both sides of you. There's Sai, who had more talent than he knew what to do with before he even knew how to play the game and Shindou, whose growth still has to be determined, the one who just started playing a few years ago, yet is already a Pro. Sai was before and Shindou is now. However, Sai shines through you. More and more people are seeing it in your Go, Shindou. You can't hide it for much longer. The better you get, the more Sai comes out. Your playing styles may be different, but the strength is the same."
Hikaru stared at Touya, eyes growing wider with every word spoken, each of them hitting him like a blow to the head. This was the closest anyone had ever come to guessing his secret, since it was practically impossible for someone to come to the exact answer. Who would believe a 1000 year old ghost resided within his consciousness anyways? As stressing as this was, though, Hikaru felt like smiling almost. Touya actually understood who Sai was to Hikaru: the Sai whom Hikaru knew that no one else did, not the Sai on the Internet or the Shusaku of the modern age. Sai was a part of him, but was not him. Touya could see that clearly.
Sai? What do you think?
I think this Touya Akira is a very worthy rival and friend, Sai smiled. His mind works in very complex ways. Your future and his are surely only going to get further intertwined.
I think so too, Sai. I don't think the middle of a game is the best to dump new news of this magnitude on him though.
Agreed. Sai only hoped Hikaru didn't get too carried away as he tried to wriggle out of this hole.
Touya continued to wait for Hikaru's answer, even as the other boy seemed to drift into another world and he stared at a point behind Touya instead of at him. He almost wanted to fidget, but refrained from doing so. He had to maintain his composure. He didn't look away even as Hikaru's eyes suddenly snapped back in focus, meeting his once again. Would he finally be getting an answer?
"Ne, Touya," Hikaru finally spoke, his face scrunching up a little. "I don't get what you're saying. Are you saying I'm schizophrenic or that I have a split personality?"
Touya flushed. "I don't mean either of those," he protested vehemently. "I'm just saying-"
"You're just saying that there are two of me, one of which is a great player and the other who is a sucky one," Hikaru crossed his arms.
Hikaru, Sai scolded, but Hikaru ignored him. He sighed exasperatedly, but continued to watch. He should have known better than to expect Hikaru wouldn't try something like this. Even with the best of intentions, Hikaru wasn't very subtle, always managing to cause a scene and create chaos in his wake. He remembered how Hikaru had dealt with an arrogant man at the Go Club they had first visited. The embarrassment had changed the man forever, though it had been for the better. Hikaru had really improved in the lying and acting department as a result of always covering for his slip-ups of Sai's identity.
"I didn't say that," Touya denied, flustered. "Shindou – I mean you – may have been a beginner, but he's – you've – grown a lot. I wanted to see your strength for myself and I have. I know now, that the 'you' before me at this moment, Shindou Hikaru, is my eternal rival."
Shindou stared at him at that announcement and Touya had to resist the urge to fidget again. Why had he blurted that out? Oh yeah. He had wanted to staid the accusations being flung back at him. What had he been thinking? He had known what he was saying was crazy, yet he had said it anyways. He opened his mouth to say something, but Shindou beat him to it.
"I see you as my eternal rival, too, Touya," Shindou declared sincerely. He laughed. "I'm glad we're finally on the same page. That's why I'm going to catch up to you as soon as possible Touya. It won't be much longer now."
Touya and Shindou stared at each other for another electrifying moment. They had both finally openly acknowledged the other. This was it. There would be no more useless chasing and running away. They were going to walk this path together: the path to the Hand of God.
The moment was broken by Shindou's growling stomach though. Shindou flushed, rubbing his head sheepishly. "I forgot about lunch. Let's go, Touya."
Touya shook his head. Things were back to normal again. He wasn't satisfied though. He hadn't gotten any answers again. Shindou always managed to deflect him. "Shindou…"
However, Touya didn't continue, remembering what had happened the last time he had tried. Shindou had managed to turn the interrogation on him, bringing them to this point. He looked at the ground. "No, never mind. Forget what I said earlier about you and Sai. You're my rival. I don't care about anything else. It's the Go that matters."
Shindou smiled fondly. It figures that Touya would give up just when I decide to tell him the truth. He turned away, heading towards the elevators. "Yeah…but I think that if it's you…it'll be okay to tell you."
Touya's head shot up at that. What?!
"Not right now, though," Shindou continued, oblivious to Touya's sudden movements, pressing the elevator button. Touya scrambled for his shoes, rushing after Shindou who was entering the elevator. He got inside before the elevator doors closed and turned to Shindou with an intense gaze as the elevator started to move.
"So there is a mystery behind this. I knew it. Tell me," Touya demanded.
Shindou gaped at him. "Wha-?! No way." He shook his head to reinforce his decision.
"What?! You just said you would." Touya knew he sounded rather childish at the moment, but he didn't care. He wanted answers.
"I said," Shindou stressed the second word, "not right now," pronouncing each word slowly so that Touya would get it. "Besides, you just said you didn't care."
"W-Well, I did…," Touya berated himself silently in his head, fuming at Shindou's need to always be so difficult.
"Then you shouldn't ask," Shindou asserted.
"But you still said you would tell me," Touya reminded.
"But not right now," Shindou repeated, as the elevator started to come to a stop.
"When then?" Touya asked frustrated as the doors opened.
Shindou didn't answer and just passed through the open elevator. "Shindou!" Touya yelled at him, following.
"Soon," Shindou answered. "I'll tell you soon, okay? That's all I'll give for now. I'm definitely not saying anything else in such a public place."
Touya stared at Shindou, who stared straight back, unflinching. Touya gave a sharp nod. "Okay. I'll hold you to that."
"You seem to be holding me to a lot of promises," Shindou grinned, serious face falling away. Touya marvelled at how easily his moods changed and how expressive he could be.
"You had better not think of backing out," Touya warned.
Shindou scoffed. "Yeah right. I'm here in front of you now, aren't I?"
Touya nodded uncertainly, still wondering when 'soon' would come. Shindou didn't let him ponder too long though, speaking up again. "Let's go to lunch now."
Touya shook his head. "I don't eat during games."
"That's not a very good habit," Shindou noted, "at the rate you play games. What are you going to do in the future when you have those two-day tournaments? You'd faint from starvation before you finished the game."
Touya glared at him. "I'm not that stupid. Those games are different. They're sealed."
"It's not different at all," Shindou protested. "We have to get you in the habit of eating now. Come on."
Touya made no move to pass through the doors of the Go Institute and Shindou wouldn't go without him. However, Shindou was hungry. When his stomach growled a second time, Touya relented. He couldn't have Shindou play on an empty stomach. What kind of game would that be?
He huffily stalked forward as Shindou cheered. It seemed the dynamics of their relationship had irreversibly shifted with the admittance of their true rivalry. Before, they had been too busy to define whatever they had, but now they could: they were friends and eternal rivals.
Touya sighed. Who would have thought one Shindou Hikaru could change my life so much in so little time? He couldn't regret it though. Shindou had been exactly what he needed to continue moving forward in the Go world when he had been so bored without a proper rival at his side.
"Where are we going?" Touya asked as they started walking.
"Ramen stand," Shindou cheered.
Touya shrugged. He didn't really care either way. He didn't eat ramen often, but he didn't feel like eating anyways. The walk to the ramen stand was quiet, but companionable. Touya had never really had someone his own age to spend time with before. It was nice.
"Two miso ramen," Shindou ordered as they sat down.
Touya was about to protest that he wasn't hungry again, but Shindou waved him off. "Come on, Touya. You have to eat a little; just a little. I don't want you to complain you lost because you didn't eat."
"Like you're going to complain that you lost because you couldn't make me eat?" Touya retorted.
"If that's what it takes to make you eat something," Shindou answered. "Hey, who says I'm going to lose?"
"You just did," Touya pointed out.
Shindou was about to yell more, but the ramen arrived, so he didn't bother. He dug in, leaving Touya to just stare at his bowl. Under Shindou's firm gaze though, he relented, sighing. Had he said something about this being nice? More like troublesome. In the end, he did manage to eat a little of it though, which was enough for Shindou for now.
They began the trek back to the Go Institute in silence again. When they got there though, they bumped into Ochi, Waya, Saeki and Ashiwara, who stopped walking when they saw the two of them walking together.
"What are you two doing together?" Waya demanded, glaring at Touya.
"We went out to lunch," Shindou answered, confused. Hadn't everybody?
"With him?" Waya pointed at Touya, who just stood there.
"Yeah," Shindou responded calmly. "What's wrong with that?"
Waya was about to say something else, but Ashiwara jumped into the conversation. "You went out to lunch, Touya? You never did before."
Touya wanted to hide. He had known this out of characterness would cause problems, yet he had done it anyways. What was it about Shindou that made him act as he never had before?
"Yeah, which was really stupid of him, so he had better stop it," Shindou interjected.
Touya whirled to glare at Shindou, forgetting about the others. "Stupid? Says the person who didn't know how to hold the stones properly when we first met."
"Oh yeah?" Shindou glared back. "Well that person beat you anyways, so I wonder who's more stupid."
"It obviously wasn't much seeing how dismal your performance was at the Junior High Go Tournament."
"I'll show you," Shindou stomped into the Go Institute.
"I'd like to see you try," Touya retorted, heading inside himself. Just like that, friendship took a back seat as their rivalry came to the forefront again. They were both ready to continue their game and battle.
The others stared at their backs, before staring at each other. "Well, well," Ashiwara mused. "It looks like a rival really can bring out the fire in Touya; how interesting."
The other three were too busy gaping at this never before seen side of Touya Akira. "That was Touya?" Waya yelled in disbelief. "Are you sure it wasn't an alien?" He had a hard time reconciling the cold bastard who hadn't ever acknowledged anyone his own age acting like a kid with one of his own friends.
"Of course I'm sure," Ashiwara assured him. "He's just never had an equal to play him before."
"You mean Shindou Hikaru?" Ochi wanted to confirm, though he knew the answer. Everything pointed to it. Touya only cared about Shindou: Shindou's strength, Shindou's playing, Shindou's Go; no one else's.
Ashiwara nodded. "I heard that he was the first person Touya ever chased. Shocking, it was, really. To think that there was someone that even Touya Akira would chase."
A shocked silence descended upon the three again, but Ashiwara knocked them out of it by reminding them that break would be over soon. They had other things to worry about right now. The mystery of Shindou Hikaru would have to wait.
Shindou and Touya were all fired up again and ready for battle. Sai took up his seat behind Shindou again to observe them. It really was a beautiful game and though had developed quickly, would last a long time. Neither was willing to give in after all. In the end, though, it seemed Touya was still ahead. Shindou still had some catching up to do, though he was very close.
"I should have moved there first before attacking," Shindou said after the game as they stayed to discuss it. Sai nodded in agreement.
Touya nodded. "It would have been best if you hadn't moved here either," he pointed. "It made it easy for me to trap you."
"But in three more moves, I could have launched a big attack if you hadn't," Shindou argued.
Touya shook his head. "You never would have been able to. Anyone would have trapped you before then."
Shindou crossed his arms, looking away. "That's what you think."
Hikaru. There is some truth in that. A Pro would never have passed that opportunity up.
Sai, Hikaru whined. Are you taking his side?
I am only giving you advice regarding the game, Hikaru, Sai explained patiently. There are no sides to take. We are only trying to help. Remember that there are still others present as well. Try not to make a scene.
Shindou sighed, but he relented. Alright Sai.
"What about here then?" he pointed out another spot on the board.
Touya nodded in agreement, surprised that Shindou hadn't blown up. "Yes, that would have been better."
The discussion continued with Sai making comments here and there as the three of them broke down the game. All in all, they had a fun time. So much, in fact, that Touya actually wanted to do it again. He had never had a friend to discuss games with before, or play for fun, or anyone worthwhile either. He didn't know what Shindou thought though.
"Ano, Shindou?" he ventured.
Shindou looked at him from where they were cleaning the board.
"Do you want to do this again sometime? I mean, play Go for fun…with me…at my father's Go salon." He stared straight into Shindou's eyes, unwilling to look down.
Shindou blinked. Sai? Do you mind?
It sounds like fun, Hikaru. You shouldn't just play against me all the time, after all.
I like playing against you, Sai, even though you never go easy on me.
Sai smiled. I like playing you as well, Hikaru. You are becoming a stronger opponent everyday. However, playing more than one opponent will be good for you.
Okay then. Hikaru was happy he could play more with Touya anyways, but he didn't want Sai to be unhappy, since they played together usually. Then again, it wasn't as if he would be playing Touya everyday like he did with Sai.
"Sure," he answered nonchalantly. "When do you want to meet?"
"It doesn't really matter. It depends on how busy our schedules are, I guess. Do you have time tomorrow?"
"Yeah."
"Do you want to meet then around four? You know where the Salon is, correct?"
"Sure, and yeah, I know where it is."
With their agreement set in stone, the two teens gathered their stuff and left to go home. It had been a long game. It wasn't until they had parted ways that both of them remembered they had forgotten about the big conversation they had had.
When do you plan of telling him, Hikaru? Sai asked as his young friend got ready for bed.
"Well, it's your secret too, so when do you want to tell him? I just didn't want to do it when we had a game to finish. It'll also have to be somewhere others won't overhear. Can you imagine what would happen if Ogata-sensei got more suspicions in his head?"
Sai nodded his head in agreement. True. His behaviour was most aggressive. Let's hope that drunken game will appease him for now.
"If he even remembered it," Hikaru added. "That was the whole reason you played him while he was drunk anyways."
True. It has been a while since we've seen him as well.
"Well, let's continue hoping he don't see him then. He really freaks me out."
You will have to face him across a goban one day, though, Hikaru, Sai reminded.
"Yeah, but when that day comes, I'll be ready for him. For now, though, I have to catch up to Touya." Shindou yawned. "Goodnight Sai."
Goodnight Hikaru.