Summary: The journey of Sai and Hikaru continues when Sai returns. Encompasses the point from when Sai disappears to the Hokuto Cup.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, settings, etc. pertaining to the manga series, Hikaru no Go, by Yumi Hotta, and illustrated by Takeshi Obata.
Chapter Four: Trust
*Some time later*
That Friday, Hikaru was at the Salon again. Touya was at the back as usual, so he just headed over. Touya had just been reviewing past games he had played while waiting for Shindou, clearing the board when he caught sight of his friend.
They exchanged perfunctory greetings, but launched immediately into a game, eager to play each other. Sai could tell that both the young prodigies had improved their games greatly and they could only get stronger together. If they continued like this, they would surely be able to reach the Hand of God.
It made Sai feel momentarily depressed that he and Hikaru still had not figured out a clear way to get Sai to play the Meijin again. He was no longer on the Internet as far as they could tell and it would look too suspicious for them to seek him out in the open, now that he wasn't in the hospital anymore. Not to mention they didn't know where he lived either and they didn't want make more trouble for themselves by asking Touya.
Although both Hikaru and Sai had agreed that Touya could know the truth, seeing as how he really understood them best, it was one thing to say they would and another to actually do it. It had been a few weeks since their first Pro game together now, yet they still had not had a chance to bring up the awkward subject again, nor had Touya pried either.
Nonetheless, their friendship had strengthened a great deal. They played Go mostly, as well as reviewed and discussed games, but the extra time spent together had really helped them understand each other better. Touya was relaxing more around Shindou and acting like a regular teenager and Shindou liked spending time with Touya. They had both found a kindred spirit in the other; someone who loved Go as much as they did and had the same goals and could compete with them.
Unfortunately, as their new friendship had grown their rivalry had as well. It was becoming a regular occurrence now. They would start off friendly, but as their more competitive sides came out, they would quickly spiral downwards into a verbal battle as to whose strategy was better, what stone should have been placed where and when…the list went on. It helped them both, yes, in learning, but their fights were quickly becoming legendary in the Salon. Today was no different. It was just after another regular game of theirs that they were discussing again as the patrons of the Go Salon watched.
Touya pointed to the upper corner of the goban. "You'll be crushed if you try too hard to rescue yourself here."
Shindou, however, disagreed. He pointed out another spot instead. "But if you go here, you can avoid that fate."
Touya, of course, then disagreed with that. "That wouldn't work. Afterwards, if I went here, you would be trapped."
Shindou was becoming irritated now at Touya's continued rebuttals to his plays. Sai was already shaking his head in exasperation at how two such promising players could squabble so much like children, even if they were such, well, to his thousand year old self anyways. They were teenagers now to the rest of the world. It was also amusing to watch them though, but he did wish they wouldn't yell quite so loudly.
He could see everyone distancing themselves now as the battle grew more heated, and he himself taking a few steps back as well as the volume of their fight rose at an exponential rate. Shindou and Touya always lost themselves in their own world when they were like this, just as they did when they played each other.
Sai had tried to appease Hikaru when it had first started on their very first meeting, but Hikaru had only gotten mad at him as well for siding with the 'enemy'. Sai had given up soon after, seeing as both parties seemed to completely forget about the fights the next time they met, which was never too long after said fights. It seemed to just be another facet of their relationship that no one but themselves could understand. It made Sai feel somewhat lonely sometimes, but he and Hikaru still played every night, so he couldn't really complain.
Touya was now yelling too. "How could you not notice this, Shindou? It's so obvious."
"Why are you saying that to me?" Shindou shot back. "You should talk about yourself. You didn't notice that until I pointed it out to you," indicating a certain area on the goban.
"Oh yeah? Well, you missed attaching your stone here in the move before that."
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah."
"Argh!" Shindou shook his head furiously. "That's it. I'm leaving. I'll see you tomorrow when you're not being such a bastard."
"Speak for yourself," Touya retorted.
Sai. We're going. Shindou didn't look back, storming right out the door.
Hikaru, Sai rushed to keep up, not so quickly. Sai wasn't too worried though. He knew that Hikaru could never stay angry for too long. As soon as he was out the door and had turned the corner, his pace had slowed enough that Sai didn't need to run full speed to catch up anymore.
Hikaru. You forgot your bag back at the Salon.
Hikaru whipped around and groaned. "Damn it. You're right. Great, now I have to go back."
Is that so bad? You don't seem angry anymore and I doubt Touya is either.
"It's just embarrassing, Sai, going back so soon after storming out." He was trudging along, reluctant to go, but knowing he had to.
Then why do you do it? Storm out, I mean; you could just end things peacefully instead. Your rivalry does not have to manifest itself in such a crude manner. Can that extra passion not be channelled into your Go instead and fuel it further?
Sai was honestly curious. Hikaru sighed as they started to approach the Salon doors, running a hand through his hair.
"It's not that we mean to fight. It's like we can't help it. I can't speak fully for Touya, but I just get frustrated that he sees all these things I know I should have during the game, but didn't manage to. I'm supposed to catch up to him, yet the discussions of our games only show me the great distance between us."
Sai nodded sympathetically. You are afraid that even though Touya has acknowledged you as his rival, you do not measure up. He is continuing to advance further and further, having become a Pro earlier than you did, and you not having been able to play official games for two months. However, you cannot be discouraged Hikaru. You know that you are strong and you have proven it many times already. I do not believe either that Touya sees you as any less than his equal.
Shindou looked up at Sai, about to respond, but Sai never found out what his response would have been because just then, they heard Touya's voice.
"No matter how strong you are, everyone starts off as a beginner-dan. You have to climb your way to the top, step by step. Your strength and dan level have nothing to do with each other. Don't underestimate Shindou just because he's a beginner-dan."
Hikaru and Sai stood there, Sai proud that Touya had stood up for his friend like that and happy that Hikaru had heard it. Hikaru was stunned at Touya's words. "Touya," he whispered, overwhelmed.
You see, Hikaru? You had nothing to worry about.
Hikaru nodded shakily. He had come to a decision. "Sai?"
Yes, Hikaru?
"I-I want to tell Touya now. I-Is that okay? I don't want to keep this from him anymore."
Sai smiled. Of course.
With that, Hikaru pushed open the door to the Salon again and entered. Touya turned around, meeting his eyes and his own eyes widened slightly.
Touya just stared at his friend, not knowing what to say now. Did he hear that? He panicked a little, but managed to remain calm on the outside. Touya hadn't expected Shindou to stick around. How did he explain how he had gone from participating in a screaming match with the exact person he had just been defending?
For him the answer was simple. He really did regard Shindou as his equal and didn't want others undermining his ability just because of his rank. Shindou had come such a long way in such a short time and he still had so much potential left untapped. When it all came out and was refined, then Shindou would truly shine and blow everyone away. Touya had to keep as ahead as possible in preparation for that day, so he alone could match him.
As for the shouting matches, only Shindou could get him to relax enough to let down his guard like that. With any other person, he would never rise to such tactics, whether they did or not, or whoever they were. It was only because it was Shindou that he could act his age. That and it was hard to not get caught up in Shindou's passion. He just sucked you in. It was hard to stay away. Of course, there was also the fact that he really was trying to help Shindou, but it only seemed to make Shindou more irritated at him, which he didn't particularly like. Things just seemed to escalate from there.
He was broken out of his thoughts when he heard Shindou speak. It seemed he had already gone back to normal, just like Touya himself. Their arguments were never serious anyways. They both knew that. It was what caused those arguments: that was the problem.
"We need to talk, Touya." Shindou was completely serious now.
Touya felt a tingle of what could have been anticipation or foreboding. Those four words could either mean Shindou felt he could finally trust Touya with the mystery that surrounded him, or that his and Shindou's friendship, rivalry and whatever else they had, had hit a big snag. He didn't know which one he wanted it to be. He didn't want it to be the latter, of course, but at the prospect of finally getting concrete answers from the ever elusive Shindou Hikaru…well he didn't know why he suddenly felt so apprehensive. He just had a feeling those answers would invariably change his life forever, just like the first time he had met Shindou.
Nevertheless, there was no way he was going to back down. "Sure," he answered confidently. "Do you want to go to the back?"
Shindou shook his head. "I was thinking of going to my house actually."
Touya was a bit surprised. They had never been to each other's houses before. The fact that they had to travel to a secure area, away from people's eyes and ears also indicated the seriousness of the impending conversation. He maintained his composure though and firmly nodded.
"Okay then. Just let me grab my stuff."
He was back within the minute with his bag and jacket, Shindou having also retrieved his forgotten backpack. They both waved goodbye to Ichikawa-san, who was staring at them blankly. Touya couldn't blame her. After another one of their shouting matches, it was obvious no one had expected this complete change-around in a matter of minutes.
The ride to Shindou's house was quiet, each wrapped up in their own thoughts. The neighbourhood in which Shindou lived was peaceful. Many of the adults called out greetings, which Shindou returned. His house was relatively normal, a regular two-story building, just like any other lining the streets.
"I'm home," Shindou called out as they entered.
A woman who Touya assumed to be Shindou's mother came out of the kitchen, wiping her hands on her apron. She looked surprised when she saw Touya, then smiled. "Hikaru. You didn't say you were bringing a friend over. Oh, Touya-kun, correct? You came to see Hikaru on…the day of his accident."
There was a brief silence, but Touya acted normally and bowed politely. "It's nice to meet you, Shindou-san. That's correct. I am Touya Akira."
Shindou's mother quickly regained her composure and bowed back. "It's nice to meet you again, Touya-kun. Shindou rarely brings his friends over. Even Akari has stopped coming by now."
"Mom," Shindou complained before she could start again. "Touya and I are going up to my room."
"I'll bring you two some snacks and tea."
"Thank you very much," Touya said before being pulled along by Shindou who was already going up the stairs.
Shindou's room wasn't a mess, but it certainly wasn't organized either. There was a bed, a desk covered in papers, a chair, piles of Go magazines stacked in a corner and stray ones lying open around the room, with more placed on a small shelf with a bunch of manga and a goban in the middle of the room.
Shindou immediately headed over to the open magazines, picking them up and placing them in the corner. "You can sit on the bed or drag the chair over," he said as he plopped down on the bed himself, with Sai behind him as usual, further inside of the bed.
Touya decided to go with the chair. There was a kind of tension in the room, evidence that both were nervous about what they needed to talk about. Touya sat there silently in the chair, waiting for Shindou to start talking, but Shindou didn't seem to know how to start.
This had seemed like a good idea at the time. Really, it had. After hearing Touya's reassertion that he did recognize his strength, combined with the promise he had made after hearing how much Touya already knew, Shindou had known it was time to tell him. He could trust Touya. He knew that. He just didn't want to come off as crazy though. There was no telling if Touya would actually believe him or how he would react to this information, especially since he couldn't see or hear Sai. It would have been hard for Shindou to believe too, he knew, if he hadn't been the one granted that ability.
There was only one last way he knew of to convince Touya of his two separate, yet oddly combined, personalities. With Sai's appearance in his life, he knew he had matured as he finally found his purpose in life. Before, he had been drifting, never serious about anything, but Go had been his first passion. Soccer had just been a hobby. He had wanted to have the same look in his eyes that Touya and all other serious Go players did and now, he had achieved that.
He was still a cheerful, loud and hyperactive child, but in front of the goban, he became a serious, thoughtful and deep individual. His ability to memorize games, think ahead and trap his opponents, as well as see things others couldn't, made him a formidable opponent. However, what people found scariest about him was that this was all still in its developmental stages, yet he was already this powerful and his growth rate was quick to boot as he easily assimilated the information and learned by observation too.
Shindou took a deep breath and finally opened his mouth to say something, but then there was a knock on the door and Shindou's mother came in with snacks. She set it down quickly and left the room after nodding to Touya who thanked her again. It seemed even she could feel the tension in the room.
There was silence again. Sai, I don't know how to start.
Just say whatever comes to mind, Hikaru. Start at the beginning with how you met me and go from there. The story will just come to you, I'm sure.
Reassured by Sai's encouragement, he finally spoke. "It started when I was twelve."
Touya looked up in surprise. A lot had happened when Shindou was twelve. They had met then and he had only started playing Go. Which was he talking about? He got his answer as Shindou spoke again.
"I had never played Go before, though my grandfather did. He tried to teach me when I was younger, but I was never interested. I thought it was an old men's game." Shindou scratched the back of his head in embarrassment
Touya looked indignant and Shindou moved on hastily. "I don't anymore, of course, but that was before I knew anything about Go."
Touya remembered how Shindou hadn't even known how to handle the stones properly, hadn't known any of the rules, nor had had the hands of someone who ever practiced Go.
"It wasn't until I was twelve that everything changed because…I met Sai." Shindou's voice softened and his eyes reflected an emotion Touya couldn't name. It was obvious Sai was very important to Shindou. Touya stopped breathing for a moment at this confession, but he didn't say anything, knowing that Shindou couldn't be interrupted right now.
"Sai loved Go. He lived for it and loved it with everything he had and in the end…" Shindou seemed a bit choked up, but continued nonetheless, "he died for it too."
Touya couldn't believe it. Sai was dead? When had he died? Had it been after the game with his father? Was that why he had disappeared again?
Sai placed a hand on Shindou's shoulder. It's okay, Hikaru. I am happy to be here with you right now. The past is the past and it cannot be changed. We can only shape our present now to make a better future for ourselves. You have done that for me, giving me a chance to live again.
I'm glad you're here with me, Sai. I don't know if I ever told you that, but I am. I want us to be together until the end.
I know Hikaru. I know. Don't worry. I promise you that I will be with you until your very last breath.
There was a question that Touya just had to ask. So far, Shindou's explanations had been just as confusing as they had always been, even though he was finally admitting to his connection to Sai. In what way, though, Touya still didn't know. If Shindou had only met Sai when he was twelve and he had only started playing Go at that age, how had he played as he had? It would have made sense if Shindou had met Sai earlier and had become an expert at Go, but that wasn't the case. There was only one explanation that was always floating around in Touya's head, but he was loath to voice it again. He didn't want to accuse Shindou of being crazy again by asking if Sai was another person inside of him, especially if the man, kid, whoever, really was dead, but he had to know who Sai was.
"Shindou?" Said person looked up at him from where he had been staring resolutely at the goban on the floor. His eyes that before, during the confession, had been filled with pain, were now soothed over with care and a kind of peace. How had that happened in so short a time? He almost didn't want to bring the pain back into those eyes, but something was pushing at him to ask, telling him that it was time. "Who is Sai?"
Shindou kept his eyes locked on Touya's as he delivered the answer that everyone wanted to hear. "Sai is a ghost."
It was fortunate that Touya had been too preoccupied to try the tea that Shindou's mother had brought in just yet; otherwise he would have choked and that would have been too undignified for words. Instead, he just barely kept himself from screaming at Shindou in disbelief, his eyes widening to an alarming degree. His mind was screaming obscenities at Shindou for playing around at a time like this, but staring into Shindou's eyes, the words wouldn't come. It wasn't possible, yet the truth lay in front of him. Shindou wouldn't lie to him, wasn't lying to him because he could see the truth being reflected back at him through Shindou's eyes.
Shindou sighed, knowing that he hadn't had the most tact when revealing Sai's nature, but it couldn't be helped. He wasn't one for beating around the bush after all. He just hoped the explanation he gave would be enough to get Touya to calm down.
"It all started about a thousand years ago," he started and instantly, Touya was back to his normal self, listening as if he hadn't just been told of the existence of ghosts. "Sai's full name back then was Fujiwara no Sai and he was a member of the Imperial Court during the Heian Era. He was one of two teachers who taught Go for and to the Emperor and other members of the High Court. Unfortunately, the other teacher turned out to be a scoundrel of the worst sorts."
Shindou clenched his fists. "He got the Emperor to keep only one teacher by issuing a match between the two of them and then cheated during the game. One of Sai's stones had gotten mixed in with his own in his goke, but instead of giving it to Sai he added it to his captured stones. When Sai tried to stop him, the bastard even turned around and accused Sai instead, so when Sai tried to clear things up, the Emperor wouldn't hear of it and they had to continue the match like that."
Shindou's voice was rising in volume as he recalled the story, furious on Sai's behalf. Sai's hand on his shoulder pressed down lightly to soothe him and he turned to give his friend a grateful, but sad smile, not caring if Touya found it weird. The full story would soon all be out. "Sai lost the match soon after, his mental strength having taken too great a blow and was banned from the capital because everyone thought he was a cheater."
Shindou halted here for a moment, the hardest part coming up. Sai's presence gave him the courage to go on. After all, he was still here now. That was what mattered. "Sai-Sai couldn't take it anymore and he drowned himself two days later."
Shindou looked back at Touya now, but he couldn't discern anything from his blank expression. He decided to go on. "Sai's soul wasn't at peace though, so he couldn't rise to Heaven. He wanted to play more Go. Therefore, his soul was preserved within a goban and passed down throughout the centuries until 140 years ago when a young boy named Torajiro came across it. Sai was then released from the goban and allowed to occupy a part of Torajiro's mind, playing Go through him. The boy became a world famous Go player, the best that even today people say to have been born. Everybody knew him as Honinbo Shusaku."
Touya took in a sharp breath at that. Things were starting to fit now, but there was still one last part of the puzzle to fill in, so he kept silent. "Shusaku died at an early age due to cholera and Sai's soul was swept back into the goban. That brings me back to the beginning of my story when I was twelve. My childhood friend, Akari, and I came across an old goban in my grandfather's attic that I had been told was haunted by evil spirits.
"The first thing I noticed about it was that the goban had bloodstains on it, but it turned out only I could see them. They were left over from when Shusaku died and since I could see them, Sai was released again, this time occupying a part of my own mind. I told you back then that I didn't know a thing about Go and that's true, but Sai did: that's why when we first met, even if I didn't know anything and couldn't hold the stones properly, I still beat you; it's because I wasn't the one playing, but a ghost with a thousand years of experience who taught the Emperor and is considered to be the best player ever seen in all of Go's history."
Hikaru remembered coming across that particular article in a magazine while he had been searching for references to Shusaku and Sai. It had clearly stated that the greatest Go player in history was still Honinbo Shusaku, even if he had died more than a century ago. That was Sai.
"It wasn't until later as I continued to watch Sai play that I became interested in Go. I wanted to play too and so, Sai started to teach me, but not in any conventional way. We played each other everyday without any handicaps and I improved that way. There was also the playing I did as an insei and everything that I did on my way to becoming a Pro, but I learned a lot just by watching Sai. I guess that's why my Go isn't my own. It's ours: both mine and Sai's because I wanted to build an existence for him. If he couldn't really live physically, I wanted him to at least do so in a small way. I had tried for a while on the Internet, but it didn't work in the long term. Sai was just too strong."
Hikaru laughed, shaking his head at the memories at how hectic it had been every time they had logged onto netGo, getting bombarded by request after request for games. Sai also smiled at those happy memories. "So, anyways, now you know how I could beat you twice and then not be able to at all a third time. The first two times were Sai and the third was when I had just started Go, so of course, I didn't know anything. I improved quickly though, with Sai's guidance and here we are today."
Shindou paused now and then went on solemnly. "The only question left, I suppose, is whether you believe me or not. You can't hear, see or touch Sai; no one has been able to except me and Torajiro from what I've gathered. I don't know why and I don't know how, but that's the way it is. You're going to have to take my word for it, as impossible as it may sound. Will you?"
Touya didn't know what to do. It all sounded so farfetched, yet it all made sense. His own theory fit into it as well: that there were two Shindous. It was also better than making it seem like he was accusing Shindou of being crazy again, though people may think he was for believing in ghosts.
He just wished there was more tangible evidence to convince him, but as Shindou had said, there was none. It was either he took Shindou's word for it or not. Yet, Shindou had trusted him with this. After years of searching for the answer, he had finally gotten it straight from the source himself.
He also didn't think Shindou would just make something up. Their relationship had changed too much for Shindou to ever try something like that. What to do? His logical mind just wanted to reject the supernatural possibilities that Shindou's confession alluded to, yet he just couldn't brush it off. He believed and trusted in Shindou and Shindou felt the same way with him.
Then he remembered one last thing that Shindou hadn't explained. "Can you explain one last thing to me first?"
Shindou blinked. "Sure," he answered easily. He had already said so much. What was one more?
"Why did you quit Go?"
Shindou cursed in his mind, causing Sai to scold him. But I didn't want to tell him about that, Shindou whined.
Well, you did just promise to answer him. Besides, it does not matter now. I am here, aren't I?
Well, yeah, Shindou conceded reluctantly. He sighed, resigned and then spoke aloud. "A little while after the game Sai had with your dad, he suddenly disappeared."
"Disappeared?" Touya echoed.
Shindou nodded, the memories still painful, though Sai's appearance was a great comfort. "He's back now, of course, but during those four days he was gone, I spent two of them going to every Shusaku shrine and grave in Japan looking for him. I went with someone I met at a Go Salon."
Touya remembered Shindou's mother mentioning that fact when he and Waya had gone to find out why Shindou hadn't been at his match. It was some sort of evidence at least, something to appease his logical mind.
"After that, when I wasn't able to find him, I swore off Go until he returned so we could play together. He came back on the day of my accident, so when I healed, I just played Go again as if nothing had happened. It figures you would just have to try to wring that answer out of me."
"Well, if you hadn't lied about your reason for quitting Go in the first place, I wouldn't have had to."
"I didn't lie!" Hikaru cried out in protest.
"You said you quit because everyone kept pressuring you about Sai."
"I said it was something like that. You just assumed it on your own. What I meant was that I thought Sai had disappeared because I couldn't let him play without everyone getting suspicious of me. If it was because of that that Sai disappeared and I quit Go because Sai had disappeared, then the two are interrelated. Therefore, I wasn't lying," Hikaru finished triumphantly.
"But it wasn't because of that at all?" Touya pressed, staying firmly on the subject at hand, unwilling to let Shindou deter him this time like he always seemed to.
"No." Hikaru sobered again. "Sai explained after he came back. He left because he had finished the task God had given to him in exchange for the thousand extra years of life on Earth: to show me a game between him and your father."
"What?" Touya asked in disbelief. "What kind of mission is that?"
Shindou shrugged. "Don't ask me."
It was because you had no interest in Go, Hikaru. I was sent to awaken that potential in you. God had just not anticipated us growing such a strong bond in that time. Because of that, I was allowed to stay with you again and continue watching you grow.
Shindou grinned. Well, I'm definitely not going to complain if it means you get to stay.
He turned back to Touya, who had been confused when Shindou had looked behind himself seemingly as a spot of blank wall. He instantly thought it had to be Sai. It seemed Shindou didn't care about hiding Sai's presence from him anymore, now that he had told him everything. The decision was now up to Touya on whether or not he took Shindou's words to be the truth.
"Sai said it was because I had no interest in Go and the God of Go apparently didn't like that," Shindou turned back to Touya. "I guess he thought you were lonely without a rival and I needed some direction in life, seeing as I had the talent for it anyways."
Touya nodded thoughtfully. He guessed it made sense in a strange spiritual way since the God of Go was always looking for an opponent, and those who managed to reach the Hand of God would certainly be worthy. However, you needed two equals for that task, so it would be necessary for both Touya and Shindou to participate.
"So why's he back now?"
"To reach the Hand of God, of course," Shindou said it as if it were obvious. "Your father needs an opponent too you know."
Touya sensed there was another reason and asked.
Shindou looked away. "Okay. It could also have been because both Sai and I wanted Sai to remain on Earth with me. Anyways," he went on, before Touya could pursue the personal topic any further, "that reminds me. I haven't been able to schedule another game for Sai with your dad since I haven't seen him lately, so I was wondering if you could do it instead. That is, unless you don't believe me. You still haven't answered, you know."
It was time, but now that Touya had had some time to think, the answer was obvious. Shindou was an open person by nature and Sai had been the only topic he had ever been closemouthed about, yet now he was willing to share that particular story with Touya. How could he not believe him? As illogical as it seemed, it did fit. "I believe you."
Those were the three magic words. Shindou beamed. "Really?" he yelled excitedly.
Touya nodded firmly. Shindou leaped to hug him. "Thanks Touya. I'm glad you don't think I'm crazy."
"I never said you were. You just twisted my words that day."
Shindou let go of him and grinned cheekily. "Well, it got you off the topic, didn't it?"
Touya sighed. "I knew you did that on purpose."
"So can you do it?" Shindou pressed. "Schedule the meeting, I mean? Your dad already knows that he can't meet Sai and doesn't care. He just wants to play him."
"Sure. When do you have time?" It was scary almost how fast he had adjusted to this new concept now, but when dealing with Shindou, you learned to adapt fast, so he shouldn't be too surprised.
"How about in two weeks? You can tell me when your dad's free to play. I have to go to the Internet Café whenever I play. You totally freaked me out when you came out of nowhere and found me, you know. I was so lucky I wasn't on netGo at that time."
"I remember that. You started spouting nonsense again and got me off track…again."
"It's not my fault you couldn't take a joke the first time around. Besides, that time, you were the one who suggested it. I just played along."
Touya would have retorted again, but now he knew that at that time, Shindou had really known nothing about the life of a Professional Go Player. Now he did. "So what's Sai look like anyways?" he asked out of curiosity as the tension finally left the room and they settled down to eat the snacks left by Shindou's mother.
"Tall, dressed in weird, old clothes, long blackish-blue hair, violet eyes, always carrying a fan, kind of girlish, kind of childish, but also very serious and intimidating when it comes to Go," Shindou mused as he munched on a cookie.
Hikaru. The girlish and childish comments were unnecessary, Sai chided.
But you are. No one has such long hair these days. Girls rarely do anymore either, he added before Sai could protest. Besides, don't you remember how you peered at the fish in the fish tank while we were at the Go Institute? You so were childish.
Touya noticed Shindou's expression change and immediately deduced he was talking to Sai again. Not wanting to intrude, he just sat there quietly. Shindou soon noticed though, or it could have been Sai, he guessed. He decided it was better not to dwell on it as Shindou peered at him.
"Is something the matter?" he asked calmly.
"You just seemed a bit awkward for a moment. It was probably just me," Shindou waved it off. "It's nothing."
Touya, however, was surprised by Shindou's accurate observation. How had he known so quickly just by seeing Touya sit there? Was it that he had changed that much or had Shindou just come to know him that well in such a short time? Then again, if you counted the time since they had first met, it was a long time, but they had never really interacted much until a while ago. Shindou was his friend though, and if he knew him that well already, then Touya wanted to be able to do the same. It wouldn't work if Shindou didn't feel comfortable talking to Sai aloud with Touya around.
"Do you always talk to Sai in your head?" he asked.
"Oh, you noticed?" Shindou scratched his head.
"Your facial expressions were changing," Touya commented.
"Not usually," Shindou admitted. "When I first met him, I used to always speak to him aloud and a lot of people looked at me weird, so I got used to speaking to him in my head when in public. Usually, when we're alone, I speak to him aloud though. It just feels more natural."
"You can speak to him aloud if you want," Touya offered. "I don't mind."
"You don't? You might get confused though, since you won't be able to understand most of what's going on if you can't hear Sai."
"It's okay. It's your conversations anyways. If you feel better talking to him aloud, it's fine."
"You're the best, Touya," Shindou grinned.
Touya just shrugged it off, a little embarrassed. "Anyways, I should be getting home now. I'll talk to my father and tell you what he thinks tomorrow at the Salon."
"Okay," Shindou agreed. "I'll walk you to the station though. It is your first time in this neighbourhood."
Touya agreed and they set off.