Chapter 1- I want to Swim But I don't Know How

As I rolled over in my bed I could feel the damage from last night. A broken rib maybe two? I can never tell, I can't do magic outside of school for another month, and I most definitely can't go to the muggle doctor so they'll have to heal by themselves.

Two days.

In two days I get too leave this hell hole, and to tell you the truth I don't plan on coming back. Im leaving for good this time, I'll take some money and after Hogwarts is over I'll find some small place in the wizarding world. I don't plan on looking back, unfortunately I'm human, I'll live with the regret though.

There's nothing wrong with what my dad does and I know that because, I deserve it.

I walk over to my closet and grab my clothing for the day, an old pair of jeans torn at the knee and a simple white tee. Making my way into the bathroom, I strip off my pyjamas and look over my body in the mirror.

The sight horrifies even me. My skin, marred with bruises and a few nasty cuts, is deathly pale. My bones all jut out at awkward angles, probably from being broken, and not properly healed. There was nothing left to me, I had lost weight in an attempt to please my father, and I had been foolish. I had thought if I looked better he would have been more excepting, but no, it just made the beating more painful since there was less separating his fist from my bones.

Just for the point of it I stepped onto the scale, it read 95 pounds.

When the summer had started I had weighed 125, a healthy weight for a girl who was 5'7".

But that was before she had died.

Without another glance into the mirror I stepped into the shower and under the steaming hot drops of water that came from the shower head. I simply stood there under the spray of water, just hot enough to burn my skin thinking. I glanced towards the razor that sat on the side of the tub, but really I could never take my own life.

Not because I deserved to live, No.

But because I didn't deserve to get to die, I wasn't worth even that.

I deserve everything that's happening to me, if I didn't it wouldn't be happening, would it? No it wouldn't, after all everything happens for a reason.

I stepped out of the shower after finishing what I needed to do, and slipped into the clothes I had picked out that were obviously too big, I didn't merit good things.

I am going into Diagon Alley today to pick up my school supplies, and hopefully no one will see me. I pick up my purse, and slip on some old sneakers.

Making my way downstairs quietly, I walk into the sitting room to see what I had expected. An empty bottle, and a passed out father. I grabbed the car keys from the table in the kitchen and walked out the door.

It was a short drive to the leaky cauldron from my house, but the traffic made it longer than I had expected. I walked into the restaurant and up to the wall where the entrance to Diagon Alley was, taping my wand on the bricks opened the door and I walked through.

The next time I opened my eyes I was met with the familiar sight of the wizarding world at its finest. Many students roamed the streets alongside their parents, she hid her face from all that she recognized she knew she would have to face them eventually but she would wait till that time came, prolonging the inevitable really.

She hadn't lost the capability to think rationally, she was still sure to graduate at the top of her class and continue to be the brightest witch Hogwarts had seen in ages. So she knew that eventually one of her friends would see her and make a big deal about how frail and sick she looked.

Her skin deathly pale, dark circles under her eyes from being to terrified to sleep in case he would come into her room, nothing left to her body but skin and fractured bones. But she wasn't worried right now, she'd have plenty of time to worry later, what she had to do right now was get all her school stuff without being noticed.

She made her way to madam Malkin's first since she would definitely need some new robes that might not fall off her body, and that would hopefully help hide all the bruises, and scars. When she stepped inside, her blood ran cold. There on the pedestal being fitted for his robes was Draco Malfoy. She tried to turn and leave the shop before anyone saw her but she was not so lucky since, just outside of the door in the middle of the street stood, Ron, Harry and Ginny.

She had to make her choice would she rather brave seeing her friends or Malfoy? At this point she chose Malfoy, because she knew that all she'd receive were some cruel insults where as if she went to see her friends she'd have to deal with their questioning.

She turned and walked over to Madam Malkin, and asked at what time she could be fitted for new Hogwarts robes, and Madam Malkin replied that she could measure Hermione right now, on the pedestal to the right of Malfoy. Hermione hesitantly agreed, and went over too it and stepped up.

Madam Malkin was in the back room getting Malfoy's robes; well that's what Hermione guessed anyways. It was then Hermione was noticed, Malfoy turned to her with his customary sneer placed on his face. He shook his head and then spoke.

"It's truly amazing the type of filth they would let into stores these days, you'd think they wouldn't want the merchandise tainted." He spat coldly.

She simply ignored him, what did he know anyways right? It wasn't like what he was saying was true.

Madam Malkin came out of the back room and presented Malfoy with his robes, the pair walked to the counter and he passed her a few galleons, and turned to leave. Just before he stepped out the door he turned and faced Hermione, "See you at school Mudblood" he said simply, and exited.

Theses words seemed to come down on Hermione, weighing more than a ton of bricks. Of course she had heard him call her that horrible name before, but had never given it a second thought. Oh she was thinking now, if all that her father told her was true then was Malfoy telling the truth?

Was she really just a Filthy Little Mudblood?