Hey guys! I'm back! Well first off, I would like to apologize for taking so long to finally update. My life has been so hectic. First with school starting and the classes I'm taking and then soccer practice and games. Right now our record is 2-1 and I got my first shutout last game because I am the goalie! So I'm so excited! Secondly I would like to dedicate this chapter to my buddy John. He truly is amazing! We have the sweetest convos ever! I aslo want to thank Krissy for the hair idea! So I hope everyone enjoys this chapter! Read the AN at the bottom too! Thanks!
Disclaimer: I sadly don't own anything still. I don't own easy bake oven, slinky, and I don't even own a pack of oreos! Also I don't own the characters! I just own my ideas! If I did own any of those, I wouldn't be here!
Recap: And that is when I heard, BOOM!
I turned to look at Jasper. I laughed at the sight of his face. It was open in a wide 'O'.
"My..my..my…gnome! WHO BLEW UP MY PRECIOUS GNOME?!" Jasper screeched.
All of us automatically turned to Emmett and pointed our fingers accusingly at him.
Emmett then turned to me and went, "Bella I thought we were partners in crime? YOU TRAITOR!"
"Emmett, you tied me up to a chair, what did you think I was going to do, point at Alice? No I'm not that stupid." I said laughing at his shocked and appalled face.
"Haha. Emmett lost his 'partner in crime'." Jasper said, coming out of the shock of his gnome being blown up. "Emmett," he continued, "You will pay for blowing up my baby. OW! Alice what was that for?" He asked in shock after Alice had hit him.
"Your baby? I thought I was your baby? Oh my god! I'm being replaced by a gnome! And hideously dressed one at that! What has this world come to?!" Alice began to dry sob after yelling at Jasper.
"Oh Alice, you know what I mean, you know you're my number one superstar! I love you more than the moon and the stars put together." He said with goggly eyes.
"Aww. Jazzy I love you!" Alice squealed and then jumped into Jasper's arm kissing him all over his face.
"Ew, guys PDA much?! Get a room!" Emmett announced like usual.
"Emmett, no one asked for you to look at our PDA. So why don't you go find a garbage dumpster and go play in it." Jasper said.
"Oh! And where exactly can I find this garbage dumpster?" He asked, jumping up and down, clapping his hands excitedly. "I always find the neatest treasures. Last time I came home with a half burnt Easy Bake Oven and a old flowered couch! FLOWER POWER!" He screamed out randomly.
"So that is what that smell was? You were in a dumpster?" Rose asked appalled that her husband would stoop that low.
"Rose, you don't understand all of the amazing things people throw out! There are so many nifty things in there! I once found a old slinky! It was amazing! I went to go find a big stair case and let it walk down, but the best I could find were a couple steps. But yet it walked for me so that made me happy and EVERYONE LOVES A SLINKY!" he sang.
"Emmett, you seriously have some major issues. But right now, I have other matters to deal with. YOU BLEW UP MY GNOME! HOW COULD YOU?!"
"Jasper Jasper Jasper, nobody in their right mind owns gnomes anymore. And well yours was extremely freaky. Trust me, I did everyone a favor by blowing that beast of a thing up." Emmett replied.
"Esme, will you please help me out. Since when do I ever go and take his things and blow them up?" Jasper asked Esme.
"Your right Jasper. I think we should give him the punishment that I gave all of you guys when you played paintball in MY HOUSE." Esme proclaimed.
"Oh my god! I think that is a awesome idea Esme. I'll go and get the chains!" Jasper announced while speeding off to get chains. He then returned about a minute later with a set of heavy steel chains. He then scaled up the wall and hooked them up to the ceiling and then threw down the chains to Esme, who caught them.
"Emmett, come here." Esme scolded. "You know what I am going to do."
"NO ESME! I VALUE MY TOES! PLEASE DON'T DO THIS TO ME!" Emmett pleaded, while getting on his knees begging Esme for mercy.
"Edward, what is going on?" I asked him.
"Well, last time after the paintball incident, Esme was so mad they she hung us all by our big toes, upside down. I know you think it wouldn't be much a big deal, but with Emmett, he tends to over-exaggerate things. So basically he complained the whole time that he was getting no circulation through his toes and that they were going to fall off." He said rolling his eyes.
"Are you serious?" I asked in disbelief.
"Oh I am dead serious(hehe no pun intended). And to make matters worse, while we all hanging upside down, by our toes, there was this horrible, putrid smell that came out of no where. Of course we all looked at Emmett, because it was coming from his direction and the fact that he looked guilty." he said while looking totally at ease, as if this was a normal everyday conversation, in which with Emmett, it is a normal conversation.
"So what was the smell?" I asked still curious.
"Oh well, you see Emmett had a fascination with all types of cheese. He even had a collection of them in his room. Rose kicked him and his cheese out because well, human food smells disgusting to us. So he basically went walking around with these huge pants on that had a bunch of pockets, and put his cheese in there. So then everything would melt and rot in his pants. We all tried to get rid of those pants with the cheese but he never took them off." Edward said sounding exasperated.
"WOW." was all that I could say.
"Jasper, Edward," Esme called to them, "Would you mind holding down Emmett while I hook him up?"
"No problem." They both replied at the same time.
They then went to the front and side of Emmett and backed him into the corner, with no way of escaping. Then, they jumped him, Edward sitting on his torso and Jasper holding down his legs.
"Shoot," Edward said, "Carlisle, can you grab his arms?"
"Sure thing Edward." Carlisle replied.
It was the funniest thing to see all three Cullen men trying to hold Emmett down. When they finally succeeded in pinning him down so he couldn't move, Esme then took the chains and hooked them up to his big toes. Carlisle, Jasper, and Edward then got off of Emmett, she then pulled on the chains and it hoisted Emmett upside, in the air.
We then watched him swing, that is when I got the most awesome idea ever! Alice then was at my side.
"Great plan Bella," she said, "here I'll go help you get the ones that I don't want to use anymore, that way you won't waste any of my good ones."
Alice then picked me up and then rushed me to her room. We proceeded to her closest. She came out with a armful of old stiletto shoes for me to use. She then threw me over her shoulders and raced back down the stairs. When she set me down, she gave me a couple pairs to hide behind my back. We then walked around the corner with our hands behind our backs. Everyone stared at us, but we put our fingers up to our lips to shush them.
Emmett was currently facing the opposite way. We then waited for him to spin one time around before we took the shoes out and aimed. We then brought back our arms and yelled "FIRE!" and then flung the shoes at his back area.
"OUCH! WHAT THE…?!" he yelled.
"What did you guys just throw at me?" He said while trying to wiggle his was around so that he could face us.
We all just stood their laughing at him when he realized what Alice and I had in our hands.
We then took another shoe and threw it at his face. This time the heel of the shoe I threw hit him in the eye.
"OUCH! MY EYE! IT HURTS SO MUCH!" He screamed and then cried like a little baby. "You know these shoes aren't the softest of things! But Bella, you seriously hurt me! I mean come on, who would have thought that the heel would hit my eye!"
"Oh Emmett, stop being such a baby. You a vampire, nothing hurts you." I said rolling my eyes.
"I no, but it's the thought that counts." Emmett said.
"Emmett I seriously think that you should be committed." Jasper said.
"Haha, sure like your wife. I'm not that crazy." Emmett said, snickering.
"Emmett, YOU…I…INSANE" Alice screeched.
She then took off, like a bullet in a shot gun, and came back with a metal bat. She then walked over to Emmett, with a evil glint in her eyes, and started beating him with the bat. Every time it would hit him, it made the sound of a loud crack and Emmett would whimper.
"Oh Emmett, shut up. It doesn't hurt you." Alice said while still beating him.
"But it adds to the effect Alice. Besides it may not hurt me on the outside, but it hurts me on the inside real bad." He said while putting both of his hands up to his chest.
"Emmett, seriously, get over yourself, no one cares." Alice replied back.
"Sure they do, Rose you care don't you?" he asked her, making big puppy dog eyes.
"Um actually, I don't. This was by far one of your stupidest pranks. Even if you were doing the world a favor, you had this coming." She said not looking at him.
All Emmett did was just hang there upside down whimpering.
"Hey guys, let's go burn Emmett's collection of hair!" Jasper suggested.
"OH MY GOD! That is the best idea ever!" Edward said, while high-fiving Jasper.
After Jasper's idea, we went upstairs to Emmett's closest, after deciding that we were going to leave him hanging upside down for a couple hours. We then searched through the closet trying to find this collection of hair.
"Hey guys," I said as soon as we had discovered the collection of hair with jars individually labeled with each person's hair on it, "Why does Emmett have a collection of hair?"
"Well, he had this fascination of hair, a couple of years ago, he use to search on eBay and find celebrity hair and then buy it and put it in his collection. I have no idea what was going through his head at the time, but then again when does he ever stop to think about what he does." Rose replied.
"Ok, it's still creepy though." I said.
"Oh we all know this." she said back to me.
We then gathered up all the jars that had hair in them, and then went back to the room where Emmett was currently hanging upside down.
We all waved to him as we passed him to go outside so we could burn the hair.
He then started to plead with us.
"Guys, no please no! It took me so long to get some of those hair clippings! You have no idea! I mean there is J Lo's hair in there and even Martha Washington. You know how hard it would be for me to try and find more of her hair?! It would be nearly impossible!" he yelled outraged that we were going to burn the precious hair collection. Personally, I was disgusted.
"Guys whatever you do, please don't burn my hair clipping of Stephenie Meyer!" he yelled/sobbed.
"And why is that hair so important Emmett?" Rose said angrily, "Is she your secret girlfriend?! Come on Emmett why should I not burn this right now?!" She said while poking Emmett in the chest.
"Well because she is the most amazing writer of all time! She wrote this amazing series called the Twilight Series. They are books about this girl who falls in love with a vampire. It's almost like our life story!"
I was now officially freaked out.
"Rose," I said, "Please burn that one. It scares me."
"Same here Bella." She said throwing that one on top of the pile of all the rest of the hair.
Jasper then took out a lighter and lit all of the hair on fire. We stood back and watched it burned while Emmett howled in grief.
Once all the hair had burned up, creating a putrid smell that made me high, we all walked back in to the room containing Emmett.
"Esme," Edward asked, "Can I do the honors of letting Emmett down?"
"Of course you can Edward." She replied back to him.
Edward walked over to the chains and unhooked them and then let go. Emmett came crashing down on his head, leaving a indentation of his head in the floor.
At first Esme looked mad, but when we all started to laugh, she joined in.
"Stupid sexually repressed vampire." Emmett mumbled.
"I'll act like you didn't just say that Emmett. You falling head first into the floor made up for that." He chuckled.
"Just you wait Edward, just you wait." Emmett said, his smile growing wider.
"And when that time comes, I'll be ready Emmett." Edward returned with his own, evil smile.
"Edward, what am I going to do with you?" I asked.
"Hmmm, what ever you would like to do Bella, my love."
And with that, I took his face into my hands, and kissed him deeply.
So this is the end, sadly. I had so much fun writing this story! You guys have encouraged me so much! I might make a quick sequel doing the paintball scene, from the earlier chapter. But right now, I am a very busy person. Thank you all for sticking with me! Your reviews kept me writing! I'm thinking about doing a series of one-shots. But I don't know yet. Let me know if you think I should do them or not. It will be a while before I can write them. But it is defitenly a possibility! So you guys are the best ever! And let's get my reviews past 100! I'm almost there and it would mean the world to me! Thanks again and I hope you enjoyed my story! I will probably do one more chapter to dedicate this story to different people and write little notes. So stick with me! Thanks so much again!!