Welcome back! This is the last chapter of my first fic for Hetalia! I hope you all enjoyed it. It was origonally going to be alot longer and go all the way up to the present day, and I wish I could say I cut it down because of purely artistic reasons but being tired had alot to do with it XD. Also I didn't want to waste all my plot bunnies for future fics. I was thinking the other day that my ancestors probably hate me for shipping this pairing seeing as at least 2 of my great-great (etc) grandfathers risked their lives fighting the British (one in the IRA during the 20's and the other one being the famous Ethan Allen, yes THAT one.) but it can't be helped, this pairing is LOVE 8D. Thank you again!
I OWN NOTHING
"Love is the burning point of life, and since all life is sorrowful, so is love. The stronger the love, the more the pain"- Joseph Campbell
America woke up with the feeling that his whole body had been set on fire. Upon investigation he found this was probably because it seemed he had hogged all the blankets during the corse of the night. He rolled over to his other side and saw England sitting daintily on a chair near the bed, embroidering a small white linen. The older country looked up and smiled faintly.
"Good morning, glad to see you're finally up. I made breakfast!"
America's stomach gave a slight lurch, remembering how awful England's cooking always was. "Great!" He managed to choke out, not wanting to let on how disgusted he really was, then he remembered last night. "England," the younger country rubbed his head in an attempt to wake up faster "What where you-" he felt a hand placed gently on the side of his neck silence him. Turning, America saw England's green eyes looking over his face with an almost pained expression, as if he hadn't heard the question. The older country leaned over and pressed his lips softly against his former colony.
"Breakfast is in the other room." And with that England swiftly turned and walked out of the room.
"England, wait!" America sighed and quickly got himself dressed before following his former master into the larger room.
The breakfast wasn't as bad as it could have been. If America stuck mostly to the sour jam and burnt English muffins he found he could tolerate it. Through the tall windows near the table where they sat the two countries could see the bustling streets of London filled with people going about their daily lives as though a war had never happened. America shifted uneasily in his chair as he actually tried to think of a way to ask England what happened last night rather than just coming out and asking it like he always did.
"Hey, England?"
"Yes?"
"Um…Why did you kiss me last night?"
The older country dramatically grasped the arms of his chair as he yelled at America "Because that's what I thought people who were in a bleeding romantic relationship do! Am I wrong in assuming that?!"
"You think I'm romantic?" The younger country smiled dumbly.
England pressed his hand to his forehead "You're bloody unbelievable, do you know that?"
"Yes," America sipped his coffee with the air of someone who had just been given a complement "but I still don't know why you were acting weird last night."
"Is kissing you all of a sudden weird?" The island's voice never dropped in volume.
"No!" America burst out assuringly "Not at all, it was just the way you did it, and before that, you just seemed scared of something, it was weird. I don't know…" He glanced down at the floor to avoid England's eyes that were boring into him with anger. "It's not me, is it?" The former colony glanced up to catch England's eye, the effect of which quickly melted the fury off his face.
The tiny island began to trace the edge of his teacup with his index finger. "In some ways I'd be lying to say it wasn't"
America nearly jumped up "Well what is it then? Do you want me to leave, I-"
"No!" England grasped his former colony's hand "Please don't do that!"
"Then tell me what's wrong!"
There was a pause as the smaller nation got up and walked to the window "Please understand how hard this was for me, because I know you wont feel sorry for me." There was no response from America, and England chanced a nervous glance back before continuing "I'm letting all my colonies go." Snap. Crack. Break. The pain in England's chest shattered, cutting his heart and making it bleed.
"Oh" America blinked "Ok but, what does that have to do with me?"
England turned around "You're not mad that I'm just letting them go without firing a single bullet? I mean, without fighting to keep them that is."
The former colony rubbed the side of his coffee mug "You mean, like how it was with me?"
The island nodded.
America looked down at the floor and let his eyes trace the gold and black bordering of the woodwork "I would never wish that kind of pain on anyone, England…" he paused "And if your asking if I wish it had been that way for us, then of course I do! But looking back on it all these years we both knew it could never had happened any other way."
England sighed and placed his hand on the table almost like he needed it for balance. "Were you," he spoke the words firm and loud, to try to disguise any weakness that might be growing there "were you ever mine?"
Now America was really weirded out "What?"
"If I had done things different. If I had, I don't know, been nicer to you or something, would you still be…"
The former colony got out of his chair with a sigh and walked over to the opposite side of the window. "For someone who made the language we're both speaking, I don't think we've ever understood what the other has been saying." England furrowed his brow as America continued talking "Do you remember what I said to you that got you so mad? What I kept saying the whole war?"
"That you only wanted me as long as I could give you free protection and supplies, and as soon as I started showing the slightest bit of control you hated me?"
The younger country shook his head and placed a hand on his former master's shoulder "That people are only legitimately ruled when they've given their consent to be ruled. You were everything to me for a long time England. A parent, a brother, a friend, but I never said you could own me."
England sighed and rubbed his forehead, trying to hide the blush that was growing around his face. America's wisdom truly shocked him sometimes, especially because he showed it off so rarely "So I guess that's a no?"
To his surprise, America actually smiled "Yeah I guess so." He leaned forward and wrapped around England's middle "You were the best big brother ever, though."
The smaller nation chuckled and closed his eyes "Ok, ok. You don't have to go get all sentimental on me now!"
"Whew, good because that was getting tiresome!"
"Oh shut up, you bloody idiot!" but both knew that neither one of them meant the words they were saying, because they were now holding each other and smiling through their snide comments.
"You're still just a hick, you know."
"Yeah, but its better than being a stuffy old man!"
"You ignorant pilgrim!"
"You hallucinating phony!"
England narrowed his eyes, but kept his smile intact "You are aware that this is by far the most dysfunctional relationship ever. Right?"
"Yes," America leaned in and kissed the side of England's neck before resting his head on his shoulder like a puppy "but if we love each other then its alright. Right?"
And England smiled as he realized that that thing he had felt breaking deep inside him had turned into something else. It was still there, and as persistent as ever but, not grounding or heavy like before. If anything he felt lighter somehow, and more free and just…good! "I suppose we better get ready to go to that conference today, hrm?"
"Yeah I guess, but its gonna be so booooooring!"
"Well maybe at break we can do something together and make it not so boring?"
America nodded seriously "I could do that." They laughed, "Just so long as France doesn't follow us." England's face grew dark at the mention of his eternal annoyance's name, which he didn't have much time to think of because of his former colony's lips soon locking with his. "Don't worry, you have a hero here to protect you!" America lifted a triumphant hand into the air.
England smiled and ran his hand up the length of America's outstretched arm to grasp his hand tightly "I think you're more dangerous." And stretching his neck up, they kissed once again.
"There is nothing sad, except history"- T. H. White, The Sword In the Stone
End