Would You Like Snake With That?

Itachi's POV

Almost AU

I was hungry, no starving, along with the other Akatsuki members. It was a cold Saturday night and we had nothing better to do, so I decided we could order pizza, on Tobi's tab of course. So I went into the room Pain-sama liked to call a "Kitchen". It was abnormally cold, and huge to be a kitchen in my opinion.

I picked up the phone and dialed the number to what was supposed to be the best pizza place nearby. I waited for the ringing to stop and a chilly voice to answer. "Hello, welcome this is Orochimaru's house of snaky Delights, How may I help you this fine evening?"

"Hello, I would like 3 pizzas, one cheese, the others with extra pepperoni." I gave him our order.

"Ok Kabuto! 3 Sneeze pizzas with extra Sankeroni!" He screamed way too loud into my ear…WAIT! That's not what I ordered.

"That's not what I-" I began.

"Would you like an order of doom sticks with that? We also have scream soda on sale?" His chilling voice was beginning to piss me off.

"Wait! I asked for-" I tried again.

"Hey Sasuke! Kabuto CHOP CHOP! GET IT DONE NOW BITCHES!" He was also giving me a headache.

I heard a muffled voice in the background. "Can you even say that in this parody!?" it was of course, my brother who had spoken…Great…

"Ok sir! Your order will be their shortly! If not we will throw in a free henchman!" The annoying voice had spoken again. Boy was it getting annoying. I rubbed my temple.

Another voice in the back ground spoke. "B-but…"

"A henchman? Hey one of those may come in hand- HEY! That's not what I-" The phone went dead…he hung up…

"He didn't even get our address!"

~.~

Orochimaru's POV

"Good Lord he's a jabber mouth! Talk talk talk, it's all he ever does!" And its true Itachi was annoying most of the time.

Sasuke spoke, "Now you see why I want to kill him."

"Sasuke, you should have more sense than to swear murder on your elders." Kabuto spoke pushing his glasses up. Dang was Kabuto retarded sometimes…

"Shut up…or I will kill you. I do what I want." Invisible venom must have been leaking from Sasuke's mouth at the tone of his voice.

"Remind me again why I keep you around Kabuto?" I zoned back into what was happening before me. Seriously? Why did I keep him around…Must check into that. At that the phone began to ring. I pickied it up. "Hello?"

"This is Steve, calling to collect your monthly bill." So this is why I kept him around.

I handed Kabuto the phone. "It's for you!" I yelled and dragged Sasuke out of the room.