WARNING: long chapter, if your the type that likes smaller chapters stop between the POVS.
also sorry for being late, I've been updating more my other tf fanfic than this one unfortunatly :)
also go to my deviantaccount for fanfic illustrations (link at my profile)
Buzzer awoke when she felt herself being taken away from Ironhide's arms, but before she could even register who she was being transfered to, or what they were saying she was put against another chassis with a spark beat so strong and powerful yet, so warm that eventually she was halfway in recharge again, the only thing that kept her from doing so was a somewhat familiar deep voice ask soothingly:
"Are you awake young one?"
She nodded slightly looking up and trying to focus her optics on that face, it took a while but after a few short seconds she recognized it as Optimus's helm, she couldn't see his expression quite clearly at the moment for he kept his impassive gaze on the path he was taking.
"Good. We need to have a small conversation." His tone wasn't anything near threatening but she started feeling more awake, what did the Prime have to talk with her? She didn't really have that much more to tell…then she remembered his final reaction in their last conversation.
Out of exhaustion though she didn't make any questions and preferred to let out some purs and clicks in her sparkling language.
The path he chose was taking a while so she used that time to investigate the hand holding her, and boy was it huge, it was far bigger than her, he could very easily crush her in his grip.
Finally, after crossing the forest and heading up a bit over the mountain they were building the base into; he seemed to choose a spot and sat down letting her down on a tall boulder so that she could be relatively optic to optic.
"Am I in some kind of trouble?" she asked rubbing her tiny optics with some tiredness. He chuckled lightly, but his expression became serious right after that.
"No young one, but I have some personal questions I have to ask you, they could be of the most importance at the moment so please, be true to your word." She nodded looking a bit more self aware now.
"I need to know who sparked you" he said quite simply and bluntly. At first Buzzer didn't react, then she started to think on the matter.
"But …I already told you…I'm daughter of Elita One."
"Yes, you have told me that, but you did not tell me with whom Elita created you with."
"Oh…"she said sounding a bit saddened. "I don't know, mother never speaks of my other creator…I never insisted too much on it because it seemed to cause her a lot of pain."
"I see…" he said gazing at the night over the vast landscape.
"Why are you so interested in my creators….sir?" she asked almost forgetting to add formality to her question, mother would kill her if she didn't.
"Becouse…oh Primus how does one come by to saying this?" he asked more to himself than to Primus, he then let out some air out of his vents and stared down at the tiny sparkling, whose bright blue optics were glancing up expectantly, her tiny frame looking so fragile he was afraid his own words would crush her. "Because there is a high possibility I'm your father."
Buzzer didn't say anything; she tilted her head to the side and looked at him as if he'd grown another head.
"Are you serious sir?" she asked after a while, readjusting herself on the boulder, it was actually rather cold right now and all she wanted was to go back to sleep in a warm and safe place.
"I would not make a joke so lightly Buzzer." He said holding up a hand for her to climb onto. " Elita One was my sparkmate before we had to go different ways due to the war."
"Then how come I can't feel your spark like I feel mother's?"
"Firstly because I close that connection most of the time, something I must do to avoid another bond I had, or at least I used to have to do so, I keep doing it out of habit these days. And secondly even if we do share a bond it could be simply because Elita and I share one, and not because I may be your father, which leads us only to assume it might be that way."
"So…your not completely sure about this." She asked while he started heading back down to the base in construction.
"Ratchet is working on it at the moment."
She let out a whirr that in human terms would pretty much sound like a yawn made by a very young child. "He said I had to go there tomorrow to get ready for my upgrade…I'm glad I'm getting it far away from mother…"
"Oh? Why is that?"
"She wanted me to wear pink…I hate pink" he chuckled brushing a large digit on her helm, she felt so soothed by it that actually lost her balance and hit his palm with her chin.
"Ow…sorry …" she said sitting back up and rubbing the sore spot. "Are we going back to Bumblebee?"
"Yes, he should be waiting with the humans I believe."
"By the way, if the reason I feel your spark, even if lightly is because you have a bond with mother, then why do I feel his spark too?" she asked looking up with an innocent look.
Optimus hesitated for a while, looking around to see if anyone was close enough to hear them.
"For a years I've been avoiding that subject… I never told anyone that I could also sense Bumblebee's spark…for the moment, do not talk about it little one, not until he's ready, and avoid sharing the bond."
"O-okay…I guess…but why?"
"When the time comes I'll explain…but for that we need your mother to join us, only she can confirm my doubts." His long strides took a sudden stop, up ahead they could see the fire from the human camp, Bumblebee's bright yellow paintjob was reflecting quite a lot of it so he was easy to spot.
Once he heard Optimus arriving though he quickly got to his feet and came over.
"Optimus sir!" he said with a short salute.
"At ease Bumblebee…I simply came to hand Buzzer back to your care; I trust you are doing quite a good job as her guardian."
"I do my best sir" he said with a wide grin as the said sparkling was passed to his gentle hands. She held onto his thumb for lack a better place to hold onto and turned to look up at Optimus, she was still trying to sink in the information into her processor, but she didn't want to get her hopes too high, she had done so before back at the ship and ended up highly disappointed.
"Good night then Bumblebee" Optimus said, lowering himself to be optic level with Buzzer who stared back at him with the same deep gaze. "and you too young Buzzer" For some reason she couldn't answer him but he smiled none the less and walked off, his long strides being the only noise they could hear beside's the human's entertained chattering. At the distance, she could still see his blue optics, he turned to glance at them one last time and she felt it, warm and pure love sent through a bond to her spark, so much she actually felt stunned at first and didn't even realise Bumblebee was already taking a seat on the ground and preparing to recharge, she smiled slightly, snuggling in her spot against his chassis and sent back the same feeling she received through the bond, muttering sparkling words only she knew meaning of:
"Good night father"
Bumblebee's POV
The first thing my sensors caught was the birds singing to the bright morning, all seemed quiet and peaceful, I knew Buzzer was still sleeping against my form for I could feel her move all night long, probably trying to get into a better position in her sleep, I couldn't blame her, a berth was probably far more comfortable than this, but for now it had to do.
Slowly I sat up giving the tree behind me some rest from my weight and shifted the sparkling, trying to wake her up.
"Buzzer…" she didn't respond at first " Buzzer, come on, wake up, we have to go see Ratchet for your upgrade remember?" she groaned something and curled into a tiny ball trying to ignore me.
I got to my feet and making sure the humans were all right headed to the base still in construction, Buzzer kept moving in her sleep and trying to curl into a tinier ball.
"Hey what's wrong with you? Yesterday you were all energetic."
"m'not feelin'so gud" she mumbled crawling to my thumb in what seemed an attempt to find shelter or warmth.
"Are you sick or something?" I asked now a bit worried, it had been a cold night, and I had been so tired I didn't take too much notice of our surroundings. She mumbled a metallic whine as a response and I quickened my pace towards the medbay, it was best if Ratchet got a good look at her.
At first the medic seemed happy to see us, but as soon as I explained to him the situation his smile became a deep scowl as he took the young one from my palms.
He scanned her for a while asking her to do one thing or another having to poke her to get her out of the light recharge. In the end he let out a curse word, thankfully buzzer was back to recharge so she probably didn't hear it.
"Did you let her get any cold yesterday? Some of her coolants froze and they are having trouble getting back to normal, this could make some internal damage, namely rust." I cringed at the words, which was not something any bot would like to have.
"It must have gotten colder during the night while we recharged, plus she came a bit late from her conversation with Optimus." I explained to which the med bot sighed.
"Right now her systems are working to heat up, so you can leave her here for a while, I'll use the chance to take the measures for the new upgrade." He said picking off a thermal blanket from one of the dispensers the humans had the kindness to build for us and wrapping the sparkling in it. "How did their conversation go by the way?"
"I'm not really sure, I haven't had the chance to ask yet, but they seemed satisfied last night. So I guess it went well." The medic kept taking measures for a little while more and Bumblebee made no move to interrupt him, so far the medic hadn't noticed he was still there, so if he just kept quiet and in place he might let him stay a bit more.
His continuous study however was interrupted by a weak sounding groan, Buzzer moved in between the blankets to poke her head out of the heat that had formed inside, her expression was one that made my spark sink, she looked in pain.
"I suppose your heating systems did their job for now…" Ratchet commented looking down at the tiny sparkling and poking her arm. " How are you feeling?"
"Like I drank alloy corrosive and it went right through my main fueling lines…." She groaned closing her optic covers and frowning.
"That would be the rust…I'll have to give you a clean up in a while, why don't you stay here and rest a bit more? I'll be right back" he turned away from the whining sparkling and glared at me with the kind of glare he only gave to someone who was really in trouble. " you keep her company" yep, the medic was mad. He went off to his office probably to get his tools ready, sparklings had such tiny frames usually they needed special tools, and since there weren't any sparklings for so long….well lets just say they probably needed proper inspecting before being used.
Carefully I approached the small form half way dragged out of the blanket and lowered myself to be optic level with her.
"I'm sorry, I should have paid more attention" I didn't even have to think about it, saying how sorry I was was the first thing I wanted to do. She waved me off with a small hand and frowned in another direction.
"Don't worry, I should have told you" She tried to smile but the result was quite strange because it was halfway a frown and halfway a smile.
"Ratchet's been taking your measures for you next frame; you got any ideas on what you want?" I asked to try and get her processor on another line of thinking other than the pain. Her optics brightened ever so slightly and she seemed thoughtful, like she didn't even know where to begin with.
"I don't know….what made you choose yours?"she asked surprising me.
"Well…my third frame I actually asked Sideswipe for advice…it didn't turn out so well…it wasn't my type of frame, too many weapons and loud servos. Then my final frame I asked advice to his twin Sunstreaker, it turned out this frame was a lot better for me."
"That's your fourth frame?" she asked sounding surprised herself. " Wow…your younger than I thought…"
"Am I? So what do you think you're gonna choose?" I asked trying to avoid the subject of me looking old.
"I don't know…mother wanted me to wear pink" she groaned, and I couldn't refrain myself from smiling, it was an adorable expression. "But I don't want to…I like your colour but I don't think I could wear yellow all my life…too bright…hmmm…maybe orange?"
"How is orange not as bright as yellow?" I asked amused, she just shrugged her shoulders.
"Fine then red, and don't say its bright!" at that moment Ratchet returned with a scary set of cleaning tools, Buzzer flinched at the sight but remained in her place.
"If I didn't know better I'd say you did this before." Ratchet said setting the kit on the table carefully.
"I have…I was once shot out of the ship into space by accident, we were near a cold planet so some of my body parts froze…"she explained avoiding to look at the said tools.
"really? Most of us don't get frozen this easy…but then again your still young." He added thoughtfully.
"yeah…Moonracer said I had a very sensitive frame to the cold…but very good against the heat apparently…she said that if I grew up to have fire thrusters I'd do well in a fight."
"M-Moonracer you say?" Ratchet asked stuttering a bit, but quickly recomposing himself, I knew why, everyone did, we just pretended we didn't to leave the proud mech alone.
"Yeah…she was the medical bot back in the ship" the sparkling said as the medic seemed to finally have everything ready. He turned around to face me " Now, I need you out Bumblebee, I'll call you once this is over don't worry, you can go off and help Ironhide with construction." He said pushing me out, and with that the doors closed behind me and I was left to an empty hall.
Buzzer's POV
The cleaning, surprisingly hadn't been as painful as moonracer's, Ratchet had incredible gentleness and awareness when it came to sore spots and how to move around my frame, but then again he was probably more experienced.
"Would you like to help me create your frame afterwards?" he asked out of the blue, probably trying to make a conversation.
"I can do that?" I asked doubtfully, he nodded though not taking his optics off his work. "Okay then, as long as you don't force me to wear pink." He scoffed off the chance of doing so with a smirk, he knew exactly why I didn't want it.
"There…that should do it." He closed the panel on the arm he had been working on and motioned for me to sit up. "Your temperature core is still a bit cold though so I want you to rest a bit while I adjust the sizes and forms for you to pick out." He said pushing me back into the thermal blanket.
It had been a few days, Bumblebee and I finally got our room so I didn't get sick anymore, news that the ark was coming had brightened their spirits so much they seemed to be working faster, overall I spent enough time with each of them.
I'd stay with Bumblebee most of the time of course but I helped Ironhide with construction work every time it came to plumbing, the poor bot had absolutely no processor to understand that, or I'd stay with Prime a few hours basically either conversing with him or helping him organize things, though mostly he was teaching me about our race's writing and reading, I still had a lot to learn on that area and he was just as pleased to teach me as I was of listening to him, he might not be my father, we still didn't know, but he had been my mother's sparkmate, and as far as I knew that was forever, so I wanted to know who my mother had loved so deeply to never let go.
I also stayed with Ratchet often after checkups, because he'd want me to take a look at how my upgrade was coming along, I was fascinated each time as he progressed with everything, he had an eye for detail, suggesting things that were either more logical or comfortable for me.
More freedom had been given to me once the halls were closed, they kept the doors to the outside locked though so I couldn't escape unless I was with someone. The only other rooms closed that way were the weapon's room, the shooting and training rooms and the washracks.
Today however that freedom was taken from me, not only was my upgrade nearly finished but the ark was landing that night. Some humans of high standing had come to the base so I was restricted to my quarters. Staring blankly at the door as I waited for someone to come back, the door had been locked shut and I didn't know the code, not that I'd be able to reach the panel anyway.
The door hissed open and I gleefully recognized the yellow paintjob, I was so glad to see him I jumped from the ground and ran over to his food hugging it tightly, I didn't like to be alone that many hours, it always reminded me of when Jetfire had to leave me behind.
"Wha-? Hey! I was only gone for half an hour Buzzer, don't tell me you missed me that much during that time." He said kneeling down to pick me up. Immediately I dug my head on the crook of his neck in both embarrassment and relief, it was just so good to see his happy face again. He chuckled patting my back lightly. " Come on, Ratchet wants you in the med bay, we need you looking good for when the others arrive."
I chirruped in answer, not really in the mood for a big conversation, I just wanted to enjoy his company, I was very fond of him, he was the most playful of the lot and being so young he understood me most of the time, but was also completely clueless when it came to femmes, it always gave me a good laugh.
The med bay doors hissed open and the sterile clean room came to view, Ratchet was off in the distance readying my new form, thank god because the one I was wearing was starting to get uncomfortable.
Upgrading was simple enough, our bodies grew pretty much like a human ones, or rather our main frame did, the outer frame was what actually changed and myne was looking ridiculously small for me, with the new frame however I should be around half the size of a normal human though.
I stared down in wonder at the shinning metal on the table, I must have had a fascinated expression because Ratchet chuckled at me, I had been picking out the parts but I hadn't actually seen the form yet, Ratchet made sure to keep that for the end.
"Set her down Bumblebee, this shouldn't take too long."
I felt him grab me by the scruff bar, he knew I hated it, but at the moment I was too stunned to protest.
As soon as my feet touched the cold medical berth I ran over to the armour to have a better look at it. I distinctly heard Ratchet scolding Bumblebee about something and telling him to scram, but I was too focused on the bright red shine in front of me.
"So, Buzzer, are you ready?" I turned to him with the best look of adoration I could muster.
"Thank you so much for doing this!" I squeaked, my excitement taking the better of me.
He chuckled patting my back affectionately.
"Your welcome, now lest put them on your to see how pretty you can get."
Taking off certain parts of my body to adjust the new ones felt weird at first, but as each piece was adjusted to its rightful limb I started to feel more comfortable with them moving around an arm or leg to check if the weight was appropriate and following the medic's orders to the letter, I wanted everything to be perfect.
"There we go" he said moving away to admire his work, a sincere smile was on his face, it was rare to see it but it was actually there. " Well I'll be, perfect fit, you'll make even ironhide heat his faceplates." I tried to stifle a giggle not wanting to be rude but the idea had come quite visually into my processor. "Hold on, I'm going to get a mirror for you to see" he said heading off to the other side of the med bay. Meanwhile I desperately tried to see myself in the very diffuse reflection the metal was giving off, but all I could see was a faint blur or red and black.
Ratchet came back with a hand held mirror, which was a bit bigger than me but still a good size, I watched in awe.
Sitting in the reflection was a small slightly femme looking cybertronian with red and black armour, the head had many plating that would shift back and forth along with the head movement and had a mask that slid from the sides of the head to cover with the entire face, it would pop into place making her look a bit like an earth insect, there were three brilliant antennas on each audio receptor which she could cutely shift up and down as, they were long and shinning blue with energy. The shoulders and forearms were of the same red as the head, the chest and legs being black and the waist was mostly regular cybertronian metal that permitted her to turn quite easily and swiftly. I still didn't have any sort of wheels but that was to be expected since I was underage. On her back were two proud small wings, not long enough to fly but Ratchet did say she was growing panels to insert them.
Of course that didn't mean I hadn't tried to persuade Ratchet but he down right ignored her pleas.
The mirror was taken away with an amused snort from the medic.
"Anymore time staring at yourself and I'd say your going to end up like sunstreaker."
"Who?"
"Just don't copy him..." he said with an exasperate sigh reaching out to pick me up.
The exit doors hissed open and we were met with three pairs of optics, I blinked staring back at them wondering why they were here.
"Primus Ratchet…" Ironhide said breaking our silence, his optics were widened and fixed on me. "You outdid yourself this time…" The medic smirked petting my head protectively.
"It seemed appropriate." He said as they came closer " Besides little Buzzer here made many of the choices herself."
"You weren't kidding about the red" Bumblebee said as I was passed onto his hand, he looked completely fascinated with me.
But the reaction I wanted to see the most was Optimus's, I was disappointed though as his face was unreadable. Most of the time I couldn't tell what he was feeling or thinking, but maybe that was his training as an autobot leader, he couldn't show too much nor get too attached to bots, yet in a way he did. This was just one of those times I desperately wanted to know what he was thinking, and I was just disappointed at seeing he wasn't reacting at all. I turned away quickly not wanting to show my disappointment, though Bumblebee probably saw it, he just didn't say anything.
"Bumblebee, she still needs a wash before the ark comes, some of those parts were just lying around while I was building the rest and her inner structure needs some cleaning, we'll be waiting for you at the meeting point." Ratchet said hitting ironhide on the head to bring him out of his stupor. Optmius followed those two along the halls. I stared back at them, hoping that on a ridiculous possibility he'd turn around and say something, anything, but he didn't.
I kept quiet along the way, Bumblebee didn't interfere, he knew something was up, he was just waiting for me to talk about it.
"You go on ahead "he said putting me down on the ground." I'll meet you in a while. I think we're out of washing solvent…" he hurried off leaving me alone in the big room.
The big darkening cold room, I stared around holding the air in my systems, this felt somewhat familiar and unpleasant at the same time. It felt like the many times my mother had to leave me by myself either because of her duties or because we were under attack. She would have to leave me in our room by myself and set a guard at the door. Often I'd hear the shooting from the distant battles on the other side of the ship.
But most of all I heard the silence of the room, and this was that very same silence.
Slowly I went to the wash racks, my footsteps echoing slightly, I turned on the water and stepped in, sitting on the ground and hugging my knees, thinking.
That sinking feeling penetrated my spark with each step, I felt fresh energon tears flow with the hot water steaming off my armour and just sat there alone.
Bumblebee's POV
I was searching for some solvent in the small storage where the humans put the supplies they got for us, it wasn't always that much, but it was enough for now. Made me wonder sometimes how in the pit we were going to hold it with the entire ark coming.
Just when I found what I was looking for a felt a sharp tug in my spark, almost like a silent scream, for a while I nearly lost my balance and let the solvent fall to the floor, thankfully it didn't break.
Somehow I knew. I picked up the solvent once more and dashed back into my quarters, I heard the water on and that's where I headed to first, the sight I saw was a very tiny red sparkling sitting on the corner of the washrack hugging her knees and in a feet of silent cries. I put down the bottle and sat down in front of her, the hot water falling over mot of my form so that no more of it was falling over her. She tried to rub her optics in a vain attempt to hide the tears.
"Buzzer…" I tried to reach for her but she moved away. " Buzzer what's wrong?"
"Nothin'swrong" she said with her head still tucked behind her legs, her little antennas were fallen all the way back in a depressive sign.
Her tiny wings were also fallen backwards much like he did when he was young and scared.
"C'mon…it's me. You don't have to lie to me." She sniffled lifting up her head, I went over with a finger and brushed away the energon from her cheeks. "You can tell me anything." She sniffled a few times, looking away as if considering her choice.
"I miss my mother…" she said in a tiny voice, attempting not to break down.
I knew that wasn't all but I went along with it, maybe she'd tell me the rest if I went along.
"You know I'm quite envious that you feel that way."
"Huh?" she asked sounded both offended and surprised, to which I quickly tried to correct myself.
"I never knew my creators. If you miss them then you can say you met them, but you can't miss who you never met, and you spend all your life wondering about that."
"I know what you mean…I never met my other creator." She stepped into the water again, a sign that she was ready to start getting herself clean. I picked up the solvent and a cleaning tissue the humans had given us, which was luck because I was afraid to hurt her if I used my own fingers. I started with cleaning her wings.
"I sometimes wonder what he's like, and what we have in common" I tried my best not to hurt her sensitive wings but they kept twitching as she spoke. "Optimus Prime said…" she hesitated " he said…" she was choking on her own words.
"I know about it" I clarified so she could continue. She sighed of relief.
"I tried not to get too attached to the idea. I did that back at mother's ship, there weren't many mechs but I'd often accuse some in front of mother to make her admit that one of them was my other creator" she smiled bitterly at this " none ever were. I sort of gave up on that a few years ago.
"But you got attached anyway" I guessed. Her antennae lifted for a while in surprise then went all the way back again.
"Yeah…" she admitted.
"And this saddens you because? Optimus doesn't usually make these statements without being sure of things, and he is your mother's sparkmate…"
"Today…he didn't even say anything" she hunched a bit, almost as if she was about to hug her knees again and cry. This was what was upsetting her so badly. " He didn't even react. I think he hates me now…"
Shock and surprise were all I could feel, the way she spoke it sounded very mature, but what she spoke of was a completely different story, this was a child after all, she wanted attention, she wanted to know someone loved her, especially from the one that could be the father figure she had always been looking for and the closest thing to family since she lost her mother. She wanted Optimus's acceptance.
Getting a hold of myself I quickly turned her around so that those tiny blue optics could stare up into my defiant ones.
"Never say that again. Optimus does not hate you, in fact he probably loves you more than he does to any of us."
"THEN WHY DIDN'T HE SAY SO!" she screamed desperately, taking in some water from the shower by accident and coughing it out in surprise, it was a pitiful scene, even with new armour she was defenceless and her emotions were very easy to affect.
"He doesn't know what to say." She stared up, trying to find any sort of lie in me, but I kept my place. "Optimus isn't any good at saying things to sparklings, he never was." I turned her around forcefully to continue washing her back, but her head was turned as much as she could to look at me.
"Even when I was young and the ark had to take care of me, he could only talk to me as if I was one of the others, sometimes he could say a thing or two that were more natural for my age but he just…he's not used to it I guess." I finished her back and motioned for her to turn around.
"That still doesn't justify things…Ironhide is a soldier as well and even he said something!"
"Ironhide talks without thinking most of the time, Optimus prefers to keep his thoughts to himself, he doesn't mean it by harm, it's just his way." Once again I heard a small sniffle.
"I'm sure he'll come around to tell you anything later on, he probably has his processor trying to take in how beautiful you look right now." I said poking her arm playfully, finally I heard a giggle. "Now come on, lets finish washing you."
"Thanks Bee…" she said helping me out with reaching behind the antennae, her hands were better for that type of function.
"Your welcome."
there you go, don't forget to review please!