Hi…I…hmmm…updated!!! I'm very proud of myself big grin. I'm sooooo sorry for the long wait. So sorry.
I just want to say THANK YOU to everyone who reviewed or put the story on alerts…I'm really happy that this story is being read…awesome!!! And to Anne and Leela, I can't reply to you, so I just want to say thank you for your reviews, they mean a lot to me, as do all of the reviews!!!
Please forgive me for all the mistakes, grammar and otherwise, okay? Please!!!
And this is short I know, but I really hope you understand. Sam is lost , but I know what I'm doing, muuaaahahahaha, LOL.
So…now…
…enjoy…
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He was swimming in a steady flow of touches; soft and familiar and warm on his already warm skin, voices; deep and barely grazing his brain and sounds that he couldn't pile into anything and could they just please shut up?!
"Sam's fine, Dean."
Shut up, shut up, shut up…
"I know he is, it's just…"
Dean…
"It was close, I know, but it's fine now."
Dad…
"He was out of this world, Dad. He passed out twice."
Dean…
"I know, but he just needs to wake up, he'll be fine."
Dad…
"I know."
He wanted to touch his brother's voice, physically touch it, wrap himself around the warmth of it and let himself be pulled up from the bright darkness he was currently in.
Dean, the woods, running, barely able to breathe, barely able to move, his brother's arms around him, pushing him, falling down and getting back up…and the man.
Even with his eyes tightly shut, in a state where the outside world is just a humming thunder, he could see white little spots dancing, circling the man lying on the floor. Dark eyes and a smirk on his face…help me, boy stuck in his mouth.
"He just needs to wake up, Dean."
Dad…
"Yeah, Sir."
Dean…
The words seeped into his mind, but they were still too thin to actually touch them and grasp their meaning. Like sand sipping from his fingers, warm sand, soft sand…but they were there, along with the smell of the Impala that drowned out the smell of death.
-:-
His brother was too pale and too still on the back seat. The only movement on Sam was the moonlight that was slowly caressing his hair, the brownness of them almost turning gray under the mother light touches of the silver rays. His hand, that was lying still on his chest, was rising up and down with the shallow sleepy breaths he was barely pulling in. Eyes closed, those shiny big eyes that cut into Dean every time he looked into them, mouth slightly opened, a thin line of saliva running from his mouth. Gonna tease you about that, Sammy.
When the car hit just the right angle and the moon spread over Sam, Dean saw how much Sam was sweating. His hair was plastered to his forehead, his cheeks unnaturally wet and pink, tinny drops of sweat running down his neck to be soaked up by his T-shirt.
His jeans were still torn by his knees, splattered with blood and dirt, loose fabric hanging down his leg.
Have to clean that later, Sammy…
"How far are we?"
"Not far."
Dean clenched his jaw and nodded. Leaving Sam in the privacy of the back seat, he looked out the front window, the car's headlights like two flashlights on the narrow road, going fast, faster then he could comprehend, almost making him nauseous…riding through a tunnel of trees, tunnel of darkness and Dean thought about where Sam was…stuck in the darkness of unconsciousness. Stuck with that man maybe, stuck with the memories surely and he knew it would be a long way to get Sam back.
A groan from the back seat and his head automatically spun around to that sound. The sound of his baby brother finally starting to come around. But it was just one groan, one lonely sound in the too silent car, only one little sign that Sam was alive and well, just…not here at the moment. Not here at all.
Dean slowly returned his gaze to the front window, a little disappointed in the fact that Sam hadn't woken up yet. On his way to watch the black road again, he stopped his eyes briefly on his Dad…a steady tickle of sweat running down his dirty cheek, his hair a mess, his clothes dirty and smelly, his jaw clenched tight, his eyes narrowed on the road, his knuckles white on the steering wheel…either he was pissed or he was worried. With his Dad, it could go both ways.
Letting out a breath he wasn't even sure when it got stuck in his lungs, he saw the first drop of rain on the windshield. One lonely drop of rain on a hot summer night, slipping down the window, slipping down right before his eyes…like Sam. But he'll get Sam back…the rain drop will just have to die. Its how life is; not all things can be saved.
Like that man…the man that took something from Sam, that took his innocence…that cursed him.
One sigh from behind made Dean jump. It was like a knife pushed into his back…a simple sigh, a breath , that meant nothing in the big scale of things. Just…life.
He twisted his neck again to look at Sam, but Sam's eyes were still closed, the rapid movement of them behind his eyelids a sure sign that Sam was caught in something…something Dean just couldn't get to.
"How far, Sir?"
John flinched, he wasn't expecting any words to come from Dean, he just assumed that Dean was in his own little world…but life does teach you to never assume things. Especially not with your own children.
"Not far. How's Sam?"
He wanted to look at Sam, wanted to see how his baby boy was doing, but keeping his eyes on the road was more important at the moment. No need to crash the car. He would just have to do with whatever Dean would tell him.
"The same."
Which was not much at the moment, but it was enough to get him by.
That one little drop of rain, that Dean watched slip down the window, turned into another one, and another one, and another one until it all turned into a real summer storm. Thunder and lightning included. Thunder that shook the car and lightning that illuminated the paleness of Sam's skin.
-:-
"Dean!!!" Sam cried out, oblivious to the fact that screaming was doing no good. Every time he screamed, he just got pushed further into the man's eyes, further into the pleadings of help me, boy. And that place was burning him…burning his throat, his chest, his heart, his skin felt as if it was spilled with acid.
He stood there, on the spot, not even knowing where there was, stood like that like glued. All darkness around him and white spots dancing before his eyes.
He could hear his brother and his Dad, talking to each other, like he wasn't there. Wasn't he there? He wasn't there…he wasn't there. The panic overtook him, overtook his mind and gripped it tight, almost turning it to mush…Dean and Dad were somewhere and he wasn't there.
"Dean!!!"
No words, no I'm here, Sammy, no soothing touches and no soothing words, just how far, Sir spoken with Dean's deep voice. How far to what? How far to what, Dean? Dean?
"Dean!!!"
He couldn't breathe. There was no air in the darkness, there was no wind, there was no sound, no touches. No Dean and no Dad…just bare nothingness with the man's gaze that was slowly pushing him to his knees. A pressure on his body that forced him on his knees. There was no moon here, no trees, no breeze to shhhhhhhhh him, no softness of leaves under his shoes...just nothingness all around him. And the man, lying mere inches from where he stood.
There was nothing he could say to the man, nothing to say really and nothing to do…he just let himself be pushed on his knees and kneel.
And kneeled, he did.
When his knees hit the ground, he started sinking…like sinking into mud, like…quick sand.
He swallowed down the fear, he swallowed down bile that was slowly raising up his throat, he swallowed around the burn in his chest and screamed. He didn't want to sink anywhere; he didn't want to die, he didn't want to die…
"But I died, boy." sing song voice and display of teeth, bloody and rotten…
He couldn't breathe over a pressure on his chest, his knees sinking further and further into the quick sand, it was like they were on fire…his throat raw from screaming his brother's name, his arms pinned to his side, the skin on his palms felt like someone was skinning him alive, his mouth opened but the scream of his brother's name was muffled…no, no, no, no, no…
"Dean!!!" It echoed through the stillness of the darkness, hitting something and returning to haunt him...a scream for his brother, with his voice, with his panicked little voice...like a bumerang hitting his ears...taunting him, mocking him...
...until there was a sound, a humming sound, a sound he would recognize anywhere, a voice he wanted to grab and never let go...
-:-
"Sam!"
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TBC