Chapter 5: Detention

Mark

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I'm not perfect. I look at myself and my actions and see errors, as I should. The trick is that I try to be the best person I can be. I devote as much time as necessary into my studies and Quidditch. I try to be nice to everyone because I want them to be nice to me. I still screw up. I still have problems, problems that I can't seem to fix. I want to be happy with myself, but it's hard. I can't look past my shortcomings. I'm trying though, and that's the best I can do.

On Thursday, Kathryn seems happier. Whatever Jones said worked. That's an issue. I'm good at talking to people in normal circumstances, but I can't cheer people up. When people are upset, I'm useless. The three of us have our first Arithmancy lesson today, and probably our first bit of homework. Ann Marie comes up to me as I'm eating toast.

"I hate to take your Saturday," she says sliding into the seat next to Jones, "but we're having Quidditch tryouts then." Good. I'm extremely excited to get back on the field. "Anjali wants us there at 1 so we can warm up before tryouts at 2."

"Ok," I reply, "we'll be there."

"As an added bonus," Jones remarks sarcasm in his voice, "the Quidditch pitch will be shiny and clean." I hate how snarky he can be sometimes. He's my best friend, but we have our major differences. At the same time, we help fix the faults in each other. I help him open up; he helps me calm down. I wouldn't trade our friendship for anything.

We finish our breakfast and make our way to the Charms classroom. Kathryn, who is holding my hand when we leave the Great Hall, releases it to hand Jones something from her bag. She doesn't grab it again. I try not to let it bother me. It's happened so many times before. I like her a lot, more than I've liked anyone, but I don't think she likes me as much. I don't think it is relationship ruining, but it can be upsetting. Maybe I'm just too clingy. Another fault.

We enter the classroom and Jones respectfully goes and shares a table with Alex, so Kathryn and I can sit together. He's surprisingly good about Kathryn and me dating. At first I thought it would make things incredibly awkward, but he rolls with it. He's adaptable. I'm static.

Professor Mulligan enters the classroom five minutes late, which is incredibly out of character for her, with a look of annoyance on her face. She takes a deep breath and turns to the class. "Today we'll be moving on to practicing the Adhesive Charm on the pieces of parchment in front of, yes Mr. Krumpet." Todd Krumpet, whom I recognize from my room, has raised his hand.

"Are you okay, Professor?" he says.

"Yes, Krumpet. Thank you for your concern. Now…"

"It's just that you're never late," he replies.

"I'm well aware of my tendency to be punctual, but I don't see how it's relevant at this moment. If you must know, I was in a meeting with the Headmistress about new discipline policies, despite the fact that the old ones are perfectly reasonable and acceptable. Please work with your partner on the Charm. The first person to correctly perform the charm will gain five points for their house, and everyone else who can successfully perform it will gain a point. Begin."

Within moments, Jones has performed the charm, one he mastered this summer, and is helping Alex. I turn to Kathryn to begin, but she seems to be focused on the books explanation. After a while, she looks up and performs the spell. I suppose it's no big deal. Spell casting isn't exactly a team activity.

After class, we head outside while Kathryn heads for Muggle Studies. "Are you okay?" Jones asks suddenly as we make our way across the grounds.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I respond shocked at the question. "Why do you ask?"

"I notice you know," is all he says in response.

"Notice what?"

"How you look when she lets go of your hand or doesn't talk to you for a while. I just want you to know she does like you." Good old Jones, always addressing the issue head on.

"I know, and it's fine. We're just different in some ways. Thanks for the concern."

"No problem." After a slightly less painful Care of Magical Creatures lesson, we head to lunch and then to the dungeons. Jones gives Linor a look that says a lot as we enter the classroom. I may not talk about it, but I notice, too. I'm not good at approaching conversations about issues. If he brings it up, however, I'll be able to help. After Potions, I have a period off while Linor and Jones head for Ancient Runes. I wander toward the Common Room until I run into Professor Potter in the hall.

"Ah, Mr. Lawrence," he says, "just who I wanted to see. I expect you, Mr. Wilson, and Ms. McNeil on the pitch at 5 tomorrow, so you'll need to eat an early dinner. Please bring your brooms. Master Langely will have most of the school's brooms with him for inspecting."

"Ok, I'll let Jones and Kathryn know." Fantastic! Even if it's at detention, I'll be back on the pitch a day early. I continue toward the common room when I see a figure at the top of the stairs.

"Teddy?" I say although his odd pitch black hair is unmistakable.

"Oh!" he calls turning around, "hey Mark. No class this period."

"Nope, I only added two classes."

"Oh me too." He pauses for a moment and I catch up with him. "Did you hear what they're doing with Quidditch?" I knew he was referring to Professor Bane's conversation with the Quidditch captains.

"Yeah, Anjali told me. I guess compromise is the way to go."

"True. It's great that our work on the field will be worth more than just league points." I had forgotten that Teddy was the Gryffindor Keeper.

"It's still a hundred points for the Snitch," I reply, "not too much of a difference really." We continue on our way and I find that I'm enjoying talking to him. As much of a bad rap Teddy gets, he's really not that bad when you get to know him. People tend to be like that, different on the inside. God knows I am. We chat about Quidditch tryouts; his house is getting two new chasers while we're getting a beater and a keeper. We talk about our summer, mine with my family and Jones at the house and his with his grandma.

Just when we're about to breach a serious discussion zone into his parents, a bell rings. I realize we've been standing at a fork in the hallway for a while. Remembering that I was going to meet Jones and Kathryn after class for dinner, I begin to turn around. "Hey, I'm supposed to meet people for dinner tonight. Why don't you come eat with us?"

"At your house table? I'm not in Ravenclaw."

"So?" House politics, again. "It's just a table. My brother spends most of his meals at the Slytherin table with his girlfriend."

"Um…that's okay." Oh well, I tried. "I guess I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah I'm looking forward to it."

"You're looking forward to detention?"

"I'm looking forward to flying and spending my Friday with some cool people."

"That's a good way to look at it. Well, see you then."

I walk back down to the Great Hall and see Jones eating with Alex. Kathryn is nowhere to be found. I sigh and take my usual seat.

"She went to get started on homework, because of detention tomorrow. Sorry." Jones speaks without prompt. Jones is so good at that. I suck at it. I'm not perfect, and I'm glad I'm not. Sometimes, however, I just wish I was useful in a crisis.

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During the summer, Jones came and stayed with my family. We live in a large, old farmhouse in the country with lots of land surrounding it. Often, Jones and I would spend the days flying around the farm and playing Quidditch with my siblings. I wondered why he didn't seem to want to see his family, but I didn't ask. It was nice to have a friend around.

Several times throughout the summer, Kathryn came to visit. It was around this time that I realized I fancied her, but I knew I couldn't act on it. We were friends and it would be too awkward if we started dating.

Jones knew. He always knows. He could see how much it was upsetting me, liking her and not being able to be with her. Plus, I had no idea if she liked me, but Jones knew. He always knows.

One day, a day after she had visited, we were flying around chatting. A lull in the conversation had come about, but it wasn't awkward. You know someone is your friend when you can be with them while silent and feel fine. It was Jones who broke the silence. "She likes you, you know," he said as though he was commenting on the weather.

"What?" I replied knowing full well whom he was talking about.

"Kathryn, she likes you, and you like her. Go for it."

"What? No. We're just friends."

"Bullshit. Don't lie to me."

"Well don't lie to me. I know you're just telling me she likes me to make me feel better."

"A. Why would I lie to you and ask you to put yourself in a disastrous situation? B. I'm not lying, and you know it."

"Why in the world would someone like Kathryn like someone like me?"

"Are you high? You're smart, good-looking, and one of the nicest people I know."

"You're way smarter than I am."

"No I'm not. I'm a different smart than you are. Plus, she doesn't like me. She likes you."

"You think?"

"Yes! What is your problem? Why can't you realize how much of a good person you are? You are one of the best people I know, but you don't see it! It's bloody annoying."

"I'm not perfect."

"No one is. And look. If you're worried about ruining the friendship, trust me. You like each other in a way that will ruin the friendship regardless of what happens. So stop wallowing, get off your arse, and do something about it."

"What if she says no?"

"She won't."

"Okay. Fine. I'll ask her next time I see her."

"Good. I told her to come over tonight."

"What?" Jones doesn't know how to let a situation be, but it's one of the things I admire about him.

"Don't screw it up." He proceeded to fly off and leave me in the field. It was one of the nicest things Jones has ever done for me. He won't let me hold myself back, and what more is a friend supposed to do.

The problem is I regret it. I still like Kathryn, but I'm not good at being in a relationship. I think I cling too hard to her. I'm going to make her run away. It's hard to be in a relationship when you're just waiting for the end. But I'm going to try. All I can do is try.

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Friday classes pass without incident. Luckily, I don't get any huge assignments, which is a plus considering detention and tryouts. I'm surprised to find myself excited for detention. I'll be spending my Friday with friends and on the pitch, so what's not to like?

After dinner, Jones and I grab our brooms and we head for the pitch. Teddy meets us in the entrance hall. As we make our way to the pitch, Jones and Kathryn seem to drift behind Teddy and me. Unfortunately, Teddy notices.

"They don't like me much, do they?" he asks, hurt evident in his voice.

"No," I lie, "They just don't really know you. Neither of them is particularly good at meeting new people." At least the second part's true. He seems happier than the last time I saw him. His hair is lighter, now a dark brown, and his eyes seem happier. That's really how you tell.

Professor Potter and Alex are already at the Pitch when we get there, and I notice that Linor was just a little bit back from us.

"Okay, so here's what's going on," Professor Potter says cheerfully as though this is a game and not detention, "our job today is to polish the hoops. You, of course, won't be using magic except for flying. Linor and Teddy, you'll take the tallest hoops and the rest of you can figure it out amongst yourself. After you finish your hoop, you are free to go. Any questions?" Who asks questions at detention? "Good. The brooms for those of you who need them are inside. Let's get started."

We make our way into the pitch and mount our brooms after grabbing our supplies. I head for the second tallest hoop on Teddy's side expecting Kathryn to follow me. I am slightly upset when she followed Jones toward Linor, but decide to not let it bother me.

It's actually kind of fun. I talk to Alex and Teddy classes and Quidditch. I'm surprised to find that Teddy and Jones have remarkably similar senses of humor, both relying heavily on sarcasm. When I finish my hoop I looked up to find that Professor Potter has left the pitch.

"Where'd he go?" I ask to no one in particular.

"He told us we were doing fine and that he needed to get some stuff done at the castle." I'm startled that Kathryn answers me. I turn and see that she and Jones have flown to this end of the pitch. Jones looks upset, but, as usual, I don't ask. "We're done, so we were just going to head back to the common room."

"Speak for yourself." Jones says, "We have the pitch to ourselves, so let's make the best of it. Who's up for some three on three?"

"I don't think that's such a good idea," Alex calls flying up to join us, "Professor Potter may come back at any moment."

"Oh live a little," Jones replies. "It'll be fine."

"We don't have balls," Kathryn adds.

"We'll use one of these," he says throwing up and catching the poufs we've been using to polish the hoops.

"I don't know," I say, "It's asking for trouble."

"I'm game," Teddy says abandoning his task and joining us.

"Thanks Teddy. You can keep for our side and I guess Linor will be with us to."

"Jones, no," I plead, "let's just…" My last words, however, are silenced by a pouf hitting my face.

"My bad," Jones calls zooming away to the other side of the field with Teddy right behind him. As much as I acknowledge this is a bad idea, I find myself motivated by the pouf in my face.

"Come on, Mark," Kathryn says, "if you ignore him, he'll give up."

"Screw that," I say determined to cream him, "it's on." I try to do the right thing, and follow the rules, but sometimes I falter. What can I say? I'm not perfect.