Disclaimer: Dark Angel and its characters don't belong to me…trust me it's a realization that I had the hardest time accepting (smiles).

Title: He Looks Just Like You

Rating: I have to rate it M just to be safe.

Author: Masaia (Messiah)

Summary: The last delivery of the work day leaves Alec with a package of his own.

Author Note:From now on the thoughts of the characters will be in italics to make for easier reading. Sorry for not thinking of that sooner (duh), but thanks for the advice from all that suggested it to me. And in this chapter Max is having a conversation with herself inside her head, so Max's inner self will be in bold. Hope it's not too confusing.

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With both Alec and the baby asleep, Max is left alone in her thoughts, her world now a confused haze.

'Come on Max get a hold of yourself. You've been searching for your family for years, and now you've found your brothers baby. This should be a joyous occasion. What are you scared of? You loved Ben, but you had to kill him…'

'I didn't have to, I could've tried to run with him' she argues with herself.

'Max this is me your talking to' her inner self retorts 'You know you would've been caught and sent back to the very place you've spent the last ten years running from. Ben knew that, he didn't want to go back there, and you for damn sure know he didn't want you to get captured on his account.'

'I was a coward. He would have died fighting Lydecker and his men if the roles were reversed. How come I didn't do the same?'

'You're not a coward Max. Ben knew what he was doing. Remember how he always joked that he was the smart one and always knew what was best?'

'Yeah and boy did that annoy the hell outta Jace' Max laughs remembering how pissed Jace would be when he teased her. 'but that doesn't change the fact that I killed my brother' her mood switches back to guilt.

'Damn it Max, you are always so stubborn. I know he was your brother, and I know that you loved him…love him. I'll ask you again, what are you so scared of?'

'What if…'she tries to bring herself ask the question 'what if he…' she stops herself, unable to ask the question in which she is terrified of the answer.

'What if he hates you?' her inner self asks sympathetically.

Letting the tears that had been threatening to fall, roll down her face she answers 'yes' with a heavy heart.

'Ben loves you Max' her inner self says softly. 'You were…his little Maxie. Remember how he would hold you when you got your seizures, make shadow puppets for you when you couldn't sleep even though he needed sleep, or how he would push you behind him when Zack yelled at you… then Zack would yell that he was making you soft'

'And what did I do in return…I killed him'

'You saved him Max…saved him from a life that he didn't want.'

'I'm his murderer' Max retorts stubbornly.

'You're his angel.'

'I can't believe that. I killed the person that I spent the most time looking for after the escape…the same person that would have laid his life down for me in a heart beat. I'm not his angel… I betrayed him!'

'Max are you forgetting that he asked you to do it?'

'I could've said no. I could've fought for my brother…I could've…' more tears fall.

'You saved him Max.'

'I could've done more…'she sobs quietly '…I should've told him I loved him.'

'He knows Max…he knows.'

'Ben is dead… he's not coming back…and it's my fault…all my fault. How many of my brothers and sisters have to die because of me?'

'It's not your fault Max…it's not your fault' her inner self repeats over and over softly until her body gives in to the trauma of the days events…slowly slipping into forced slumber, but not before her arms wrap instinctively around the baby as if to ward off any harm.

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So there's chapter three. I thought it best to let you guys know more in detail what was going on in Max's head. During the show I thought they never really went into detail about her feeling toward the way Ben died. Anyway, let me know what you guys think. Should I continue on?