Hooray for chapter two!! I think...

Anyways, this chapter is dedicated to Katie (RemusLupinAddict)... because since she updated her story, I'm being forced to update mine.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the radish earrings I wore to school today that I made for the release of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Also, most of the things that The Chosen Sarah says comes from Mugglenet.

"Okay, my loyal Death Eaters," Voldemort began. Everyone in the room fell silent and pulled out blank notebooks that looked suspiciously like Death Notes. Oh well, if Voldie wanted to mix fandoms, at least he did it with finesse (you know... sticking with the name thing and all).

I bit my lip and debated. I decided to pull out my notebook (it was still in my backpack, which I was conveniently wearing since we got off the plane). The spine of the book had cracked and peeled off, so it was fixed with electric blue duct tape.

I pulled out my favorite pen and scrawled down what Voldemort was dictating. My notes were garbled and read:

Kill:

HP (duh!)

Moody (because his eye is WAY too creepy)

Dursleys (they're dumb)

Tonks (Voldie's jealous of her bubblegum hair)

Bernard (from Brave New World)

Vampire Sith Lord Darth Tryphineus

the Minister's potted plant (named Bernard)

Dumbledore

Frodo Baggins (and get his ring before it's dropped in the fired of Mt. Doom)

Cho Chang (because... Well... I'm lost. Maybe her relationship to Harry? If that, why not Ginny, too, then?)

The Weasleys (Oh...)

The list kept going and I stopped writing because my hand began cramping. The DLV noticed my lack of note-taking (it's worse than my lit. teacher who speaks a universe a minute), and decided to investigate.

I smiled innocently up at him and he asked me, "why aren't you using the standard Death Eater notebook? I had them specifically ordered from Japan. Such insolence!" He glared at me and I really didn't feel like getting hexed for not using his special mail-order notebooks.

I gulped. "Uhhh... I didn't have one, so I thought I'd be efficient and follow along in mine." In my head I begged the God(s) of every single religion in existence, including Gagnonism (pronounced gon-yo-ism).

Voldemort must have been using occulmency, since he reached out his hand. I placed my dear notebook in his slimy and and prayed to the same Gods as before that I wouldn't be killed.

His frown deepened as he read my notes and flipped through and saw the pictures. He muttered something about aging eyes and flicked his wand. I cringed, but the spell hit the window shades instead, flipping them open.

Outside, it was a rare sunny day, and a breathtaking view of the city. He returned to the pictures, and he must have seen the one of him that looked quite similar to Salad Fingers, because he looked up furiously.

He raised his wand, but then a girl came running in. "Jessica?" I said.

She smiled. "Sorry I'm late. My plane for my own trip to Europe was late." She noticed Voldemort. "Ew, purple? Green is SO much better!"

Furious, Voldie Avada Kedavera-ed her. Hm... everything about that last sentence was underlined in red from my spell check except for 'her.'

I felt like crying at the death of my friend. Alas, her downfall was not enjoying the tranquil loveliness of such a royal color such as purple.

I couldn't grieve long though, because then DLV turned his wand on me. "I love your robe!" I squealed.

He seemed to consider if I was telling the truth or not, probably employing occulmency in the process (it seems to be a nasty habit of his. Some things in my head are private!).

He lowered his wand, but then hexed some other Death Eater. "Does anyone else have a problem with my robe?!?" I roared. The Death Eaters shook their heads really fast so they wouldn't be hexed.

"I do, you Man-Who-Let-the-Boy-Live!!!" A girl shouted. I raised an eyebrow. It was my friend Sarah! No, not the Death Eater one, a different one. To keep things straight, let's call her... the Chosen One.

Voldie, however, raised his wand.

"Awww, look! Ickle Voldie-poo has got a twiggle!" she said, "in accordance with the prophecy."

"You will die," Voldie growled.

She smiled and sung back, "Yooooooououou Wiiiililll Diiiiiieieeieeeeeeee!!"

Voldemort raised his wand, ready to perform the curse.

"Wait!" Katie shouted. "You can't kill her!"

"And WHY NOT?" Voldie asked.

"She's the Chosen One!"

"WHAT?"

"She's supposed to bring balance to the force." April said in a voice that was very close to that of an adult talking to a two year old that had just eaten a rock.

"Don't Worry," The Chosen Sarah said. "He's just a big bald softie."

"Let us be happy and sing Kumbayah!" Sarah shouted at the top of her lungs. A Death Eater procured a banjo and everybody held hands except for Voldemort.

I glanced worriedly at him. "Don't worry," Katie said. "He's just chronically depressed. With a bit of schizophrenia thrown in."

I nodded and began to sing.

When we finished, April said, "Snape." I glanced at her, then tried to figure out where she saw him. "Snape." I looked around again. "Severus Snape."

"Dumbledore!" Sarah said. Voldemort looked confused as ever, trying to figure out where Bumble-dore was.

"Snape."

"Ron!" I called, after winning a silent staring batting with Katie for the position of Ron.

"Snape."

"Ron!"

"Severus,"

"Ron Weasley"

"Snape."

"Dumbledore!"

"Snape."

"Ron."

"Snape."

"Ron."

"Severus-"

"Ron Weasley!"

"Snape-"

"Dumbledore!"

"Hermione, Hermione, Hermione, Hermione," Katie came it at the right moments.

"Harry Potter, Harry Potter, Harry Potter, Ugh!" The Chosen Sarah flailed her arms around.

We all began singing together, "singing our song, all day long at Hooooooooog-waaaaarts!"

"Your turn, Voldie!" I cried.

Having caught onto the mood, Voldemort began tapping his wand, "Voldemort, Voldemort. Ooh, Voldie, Voldie, Voldie, Voldemort!"

We cheered for Voldemort. Then reality came crashing down and the four of us made our escape after the Chosen Sarah had done the same with an "Au revoir, Monsieur Voldie-poo!" Even though she's taking Spanish, not French.

We followed a witch to get into Diagon Alley, then went to Gringotts to convert our muggle money to wizard money. We figured that while we were here, we might as well have wands and other things to protect ourselves.

We traveled over to Ollivander's (after managing to get lost in the process) and looked at the selections of wands.

My wand ended up being twelve inches with a Dugong heart string (they are truly the coolest animals ever. It was made from Maple wood and I loved it.

Katie's final selection was eleven and a half inches and made of Magnolia. It's core was a unicorn hair.

Sarah's was made from Cherry wood and was twelve inches long. It's core was a huffelump's tail hair.

April's core was a Artic Loon's tail feather and was made of Ash wood. It was approximately twelve inches.

We found a secluded spot and opened our new books. "Ooh! Look!" Sarah said. "There's a spell that will tell you which animal, if any, that you can talk to!"

I cast the spell myself, and a big Angler Fish floated in front of me. "Hello!" I said in Angleratongue. Sarah poked the fish with her wand and it disappeared.

Sarah cast the spell next and was rewarded with an ostrich floating in front of her. She began cawing, which I assumed was... ostrichatongue?

April found out hers is a armadillo, and began speaking Armildillian to it, while Katie discovered hers was a super cute Monito Del Monte, or a little mountain monkey.

We were happy and practiced other spells for a while, and squealed when something worked. It was beyond amazing to be able to sit her in who-knows-where London and do magic.

Patronus charms were next. I thought of the happiest memory possible... Uh... Hm... Well, as I was thinking, Sarah went.

"Awww! It's a Pygmy Puff!" I cooed. Sarah flicked her wand towards me and the Pygmy Puff began attacking my face with its smokiness.

I got it! I thought of finally being able to go to Europe and plotting with Katie over what Harry Potter characters we would meet. "Expecto Patromun!" I called out.

Nothing happened.

"It's Expecto PatroNUM, Idiot," Sarah said.

"Don't call people names, Dummy," I joked. I repeated the incantation right, and my Patronus was..........................

A Venus Fly Trap?

I shrugged and grinned at it, making the mouthy-leaves open and close around my finger.

Katie and April were having trouble getting their Patronus out, but soon we were graced with an avalanche from April and a park bench from Katie.

I giggled and made my Venus Fly Trap eat the park bench. Soon, I couldn't hold onto mine anymore and I allowed it to dissolve into the air. Everyone else's soon went as well.

It wasn't too soon either, because out Dark Marks began burning and we gathered out stuff to apperate to Voldy's headquarters.

"Wait!" I called. I pulled out my pen and gave the snake on my Dark Mark a smile. Yay. Now it didn't look so evil.

We arrived and took places among the Death Eater ranks. We bowed and stuff, and Voldemort began a speech. It was eerily like Hitler's speeches.

In fact, the whole 'Death Eater' thing was kind of like Hitler's Youth, and the whole 'kill muggles' thing was kind of like those persecuted under Hitler's reign, and the half-bloods and muggle-borns were kind of like everyone else who wasn't blond-haired and blue-eyed.

CREEPY.

Now that I know I'm part of Nazi Germany, I second guess the decision to become a Death Eater. More like quadruple guess. Not that I really had a choice. Though I didn't really resist, either. It was more like I was willingly forced into eternal servitude for the Dark Lord. Well, everyone was until they died.

"And now my Death Eaters, we will be going on a raid at the home of the Weasley's pathetic excuse for a home." I was excited. Maybe I would see Harry. "Take captives if you can, we want to be able to barter for some of the other POWs."

My eyebrow twitched at his use of slang for prisoner of war, but I said nothing. It was time to present our gifts to Voldemort. I frowned. This wasn't in the story. I dug around my backpack for something to give him and found the perfect thing.

Grinning, I made my way into the line. When I reached Voldie, I bowed and presented him with the cutest little pink duck in the world. It was very fluffy. My friend actually gave it to me for my birthday, but it was a worthwhile sacrifice. I always had the blue, yellow, and green ones to keep me company.

His eyebrow visibly twitched, but he accepted it with grace and poise. At least, as much poise as someone who is missing a nose can have.

Katie presented him with a lollipop and April gave him an apple. Sarah, not knowing what else to give him, gave him her left foot sock. His brow twitched some more.

Soon enough, it was time for the raid.

Woah... this is a really long chapter. I guess it will make up for the long-ish wait.

RemusLupinAddict: Woot! I finally got the chapter out, and now it's YOUR turn to update! Mwuahahahahahaha! Uhhh... anyways... see you at school tomorrow! I hope you liked the chapter!

Verinova: Hehe, I'm glad you liked it so much! If you tell me of your theory of why penguins are black and white, I'll randomly drop you into a meeting so you can tell it to the Death Eaters! Woot!

Lillian C Potter: I'm lad you liked it!

Reviews make the world go round!

Before this sentence (but including the authors notes), the word count was this year! Go 2009!