Ahhh! I can't apologize enough for the time it's taken me to update. I'm really sorry! Recently it was Hermione's birthday, so I thought I'd write a chapter for it and not to mention my friend amazingtofu has been bugging me about it for... a while. Though now our Spanish teacher split us up, I NEVER get to talk to her D:

School is slowly sucking away my life like a deranged leech. Though thank goodness it's fall break!

I'm kind of ashamed to admit that the only reason why I joined the Dark Blue online game was because Dylan McDermott (who plays Carter) is so gorgeous and looked directly at the camera asking me to join. That's never happened to me before, I feel kind of like it's a bit unhealthy.

Disclaimer: I'm not a nerd, I'm just more academically evolved. However, I am not evolved enough to have even come up with the ingenious idea of Harry Potter.

Molly Weasley: ¿Te gusta escuela hoy?

Ginny: Fue bueno paro no me gusta Pansy.

Molly: ¿Por que?

Ginny: Tomó mi novio.

Molly: ¿Ese Draco niño?

Ginny: Sí, Mamá, jugueteó con él mucho, ¡y ella es feo!

Molly: Necesitas hablar con Draco.

Ginny: Él no dejó ella.

Molly: El es arrogante, está bien.

Ginny: Está bien, ¡ellos son muertos!

(A Spanish project with amazingtofu. Go look up her stories! And ask if you want the translation!)

"What's going on?" Draco drawled. I glared at him for ruining the moment.

"Questioning is about to begin," Lupin said. I blinked. Right. The whole being a Death Eater thing. I keep forgetting.

"So..." Katie said. I couldn't agree more.

"Who's next?" I chirped. For I am HAILEY: RAY OF SUNSHINE. Yes. Even in the face of capture and possible torture. If the light side would even condone such activity.

"Thanks for volunteering!" A new voice said. Sirius had walked into the room. Katie squealed happily. Eh... I was a little more in tune with Snape's misanthropic side than Sirius' lets-torture-Snapey attitude. The man in question, however, just glared spitefully.

Sirius started pulling her out the door, but I latched onto Katie's arm. "Nooooooo, you can't take her away without me!" Katie cried. "She's my unisoul!" I nodded frantically.

I grinned at our superior knowledge proven by the blank looks we received. I used my most-patient award-winning customer-service voice (with lots of practice from my job at the movie theater) and explained, "you know, ONE soul split between TWO bodies. It's quite simple, really. It also explains why we're almost identical in likes and dislikes."

I only received blinks in returns. "Whatever," Sirius snapped, "hurry up."

We followed Sirius and Remus into what I assumed to be the kitchen, furthering my theory that we were in Grimmauld Place. Yes! I was right.

There were two chairs sitting in the otherwise empty room and I headed for the comfy one. Great minds think alike apparently, because Katie beat me to it.

I pouted and took the wooden one. Remus turned to us, "why did you become Death Eaters?"

Well, that was a weird question. We shrugged. "We don't actually want to be Death Munchers, you know," Katie said.

I nodded, "we were just kind of in the wrong place at the right time."

"Besides, we like too many people from the light side, anyways!"

Lupin just raised an eyebrow, wheres Sirius rolled his eyes.

"In other words," I said. "We really don't have any allegiance to the Dark Mold, we could become spies!"

Lupin glanced at Sirius and shrugged. "You could start off your career as spies by telling us of Voldemort's plans."

Katie and I glanced at each other. Too bad Voldy doesn't go burting out his schemes more often. "We could tell you his hit list," Katie said.

Lupin nodded.

"First," I said, "is Erodelbmud Nairb Cirfluw Lavicrep Subla!"

"WHAT?" Sirius exploded.

I shrugged, "the names are in code."

"I know!" Lupin cried, "it's some weird nickname for Harry!"

"Noooo, Silly," Katie said. "Guess again!"

They both sighed. "Hmm, who do we know with a name that long?"

The door opened and Dumbledore walked in. Katie and I grinned up at him. "Oh..." Sirius said. "Is it Dumbledore?"

We beamed, "yay! You get a point!" Katie said.

"Make it to ten and you get candy!" I shouted.

"Lemon Drop?" Dumblydore offered.

"We haven't gotten to ten yet, Silly!"

Again with the sighing. These gentlemen need to learn how to keep air in their lungs, sheesh!

The door opened once more and Harry walked in. I waved – more like flailed my arms – and Katie saluted. Kreatcher walked in after Harry looking very hard like he was not following a half blood... well... more like three quarters blood, really. Silly wizards don't know proper math. Wait... why again did I think it was three quarters? I think the Lemon Drops have gone to my head. Maybe it's the cocaine from the peppermints in the factory that Hydrogen Bond shut down in a spy mission! (1)

Katie gasped and pointed at the house elf. "You killed him!" She then pointed at Sirius.

"And you almost killed Harry!" I cried, then changed my tone to a sort of Luna-Lovegood-dreamy-voice. "Once upon a magical fanfic called The Basement... At least, I think that's what it's called."

WHY DO THEY KEEP LOOKING AT ME LIKE I'M INSANE?!?!

Please don't answer that question, Mother.

"Though, I did like the fic where Draco and Harry become bonded and end up loving each other," Katie said.

"Oh, you mean that one you were talking about in that class on that day?" I asked.

"No, it was that other day."

"Ah, I remember now. It seemed to go on and on, though."

We shrugged and turned back to our captors.

"I think I'm going crazy," Lupin sighed, rubbing his temples.

"We wanna go with you!" I cried. Katie nodded enthusiastically.

"Okaaaaay..." Sirius' eyes kept darting between us as if we were about to Go Ghost and attack everyone. He probably thought we were already in the magical land of Insanity. It's really a lovely place. You should visit sometime. "Who's next?" Sirius asked.

"Ooh! I love that album, by The Who!" I interrupted yet again.

"The Chosen One is next!" Katie squealed.

"Anakin Skywalker?" Harry choked on the muffin he was eating.

"Nooo, don't be silly," I said.

"Uhhh, Harry," Sirius said.

"What?" Harry asked.

"Nothing, that was my answer!"

"Oh."

I waited quite patiently (if I do say so myself) before shaking my head. "Wrong answer."

They shrugged helplessly.

"We'll give you this one," I said. "It's Sarah. The one in Europe for a soccer tournament, not the one who joined the Death Munchers with us."

They demanded and explanation, but we had none for them other than insisting that she's The Chosen Sarah.

"Next on our list is... Rubber Duck Man."

"Harry."

"No."

"Hermione."

"No."

"Ron."

"No."

"Me."

"Don't flatter yourself."

"Remus."

"No."

This continued for a LONG time, so finally Remus just asked, "why is this person on Voldemort's Hit List?"

I grinned. "He's Harry's number one fan."

"Colin Creevy," Harry guessed.

"HOORAY!"

Sirius smacked his head against the wall in frustration.

"Next is the Annoying One."

"Harry," Sirius guessed.

"Hey! I'm not annoying!" Harry shouted quite annoyingly.

"Nope," I said.

Once again, the stupid guesses began and I was ready to kill myself. "Let's play a game. This is how Voldemort feels: He shouldn't have crazy followers because they're not reliable."

"Bellatrix Lestrange," Harry said.

"BINGO!" Katie exclaimed.

"Really?" I asked. "Did someone call out C12?"

Katie shook her head. I sighed and looked at my Bingo Card. "Darn."

Remus stared at us for a moment, probably trying to decide why the heck Voldemort would even be able to put up with us enough to make us Death Munchers. I ask the same question myself, but my only answer is that Voldewart is just as insane as we are, if not more. Which is quite difficult to achieve.

"I have a question." Remus said.

"I have an answer." I said. "I hope."

"Why isn't Harry on Voldemort's Hit List? I mean, not that I want to see Harry on it. But it's the logical choice that should come second on the list, if not first."

"Good point," Katie said. "Hailey knows the truth, though."

I nodded solemnly, "the reason is because Big V is secretly in love with Harry. He can't stand to see him hurt so he's putting together an elaborate plot to kidnap Harry and make him his own through much unspeakable grossness."

I got the five-headed look again.

Harry looked like he was in physical pain to go along with the obvious mental pain. "Are you serious?"

"No, Silly. That's Sirius," I said and pointed.

"Let's rephrase this: are you insane?!"

"Maybe that's not the best question to ask when searching for the truth. Try again."

"Okay... Are you lying?"

"Unfortunately, yes." Everybody visibly sagged in relief. Except Dumbledore. I think he had a heart attack or something. Maybe someone should try to get him off of the floor. No matter, "Though that would be really sweet if it were true! Kind of Beauty-and-the-Beast-esque, don't you think?"

Katie nodded.

"Anyways, we really do want to become spies. It would be AWESOME."

Dumbledore shrugged, obviously over his heart attack, "as long as you can prove yourselves against the Severus Snape Spy Survey ©, then by all means, do so."

"Yes!" We shouted, then gave each other high fives.

This will be fun!

(1) The Adventures of Hydrogen Bond by The Feral Candy Cane. It's an Alex Rider fic, GO READ IT!

And that's all, folks! Once again, I'm sorry it took so long to get this chapter out!

Tierney Jean: Haha, thanks a bunch! I feel the same way about Draco! And too many abused-childhood fics get to me! -tear-. I'm super glad you liked it! I hope I didn't take TOO long getting it out! -shifty eyes-

Lillian C Potter: Thanks a bunch! Yep, I just hate it that Sirius dies... and even more so that Snape and Lupin die! -sobs-

Please review!