Acceptance

Chapter 5

Man is only truly great when he acts from his passions.
-Benjamin Disreali

I wanted nothing more than to curl back up in my bed and sleep for the rest of my life. Yet that was not an option. I had an obligation to take care of. A benefit concert. I haven't done a benefit show since I was still an up and coming artist. For some reason Hiroshi thinks this is the best way to introduce Tokyo to my new partner.

"You look lost in thought."

Her words pulled me back to reality. "I'm fine, just thinking."

"Maybe you can tell me about it over dinner later?"

I shivered as she whispered those words to me. There she goes again, making me nervous. I couldn't like her this much this soon...could I. I forced a smile up to her before speaking. "Only if you pay handsome." Oh god...I tried to hide my wide eyes as I looked away from her. How could I have been so stupid to speak that.

"You're starting to sound like my exes." She laughed, only causing me to blush more. "They all refused to go anywhere with me unless I paid for them as well."

"I'm sorry...I just..." I couldn't find the words to say to her. I wanted to tell her that I don't go out often because of the cameras following me. I only sighed. "I'm not used to people wanting to spend time with me."

She looked perplexed. Almost as if she didn't understand why I wouldn't be asked on dates. "Surely you don't spend all your time alone..."

I shook my head. "Almost all of my time is spent on planes...and with Hiroshi."

"Well we'll need to fix that. I know a lot of nice places in a lot of nice cities. From my racing career."

"You two stop talking and get out there already." Hiroshi pushed the us out onto the stage after I grabbed my violin.

I took my spot in front of the microphone. I never spoke a word as I glanced at Haruka who took a seat at her piano. I threw her a smile and nodded before she did. I closed my eyes to focus on the music that the piano emitted from her touch. On my mark I joined her. Our playing was flawless. I've never before felt so comfortable with someone I've known for such a short time.

"Haruka that was amazing." I spoke softly as we entered our changing room. "I've never played that well with someone before."

"You call that well? Michiru if you'd spent more time practicing and less time 'getting to know' your new partner you wouldn't have screwed up on the last two stanzas of your last song." Hiroshi stood at the door to our room. Of course he would ruin a perfect moment for me.

"Why don't you back off Hiroshi?" I smiled at her. It was a real smile. There was something about her that made me relax. "Even if she did everything perfect, it wouldn't be enough for you."

"And you...You spent so much time staring at Michiru today you didn't even remember to turn your sheet music. If you don't straighten up you'll be out of a contract. Michiru you need to go home and get some sleep, we're leaving tomorrow morning."

I only shook my head. The rare time he tells me to go to sleep, I actually don't want to. "Thank you for trying to stand up to him...it's not possible though. He doesn't listen to anybody." I moved behind the screen and pulled off my dress to change.

"He's such an ass."

I could see her shadow through the thin screen, she was also changing. Oh how I wanted to see her...Damn mirror...it brought me back to my thoughts as I forced myself to turn away from it. It was a constant reminder of just how sickly I really looked. Nearly all of my ribs were visible now. But I was still fat to him. I was fat to all of them.

"Are you ready to go?" her voice rang in my ears as I buttoned up my favorite white blouse.

"Yes, I'm ready."

She looked amazing. Her clothing was simple yet made her look wonderful. Her shirt was tight enough to show her breasts. It was tucked into a worn pair of denim jeans. It looks like she's owned them for years. I shuttered at the mental image I had created of her naked body.

"Lost in thought again?"

"Yea..." I felt my cheeks get warm with a blush as I looked away. "Shall we go?"

"Where are you two off to?"

"Just ignore him Haruka..." I rested my hand on her shoulder and frowned when I felt her tense. "Let's just go."

"You're not going anywhere but home." He spoke again.

"You don't control her, and you sure as hell will never control me. All your job consists of is booking the venues, flights, and hotels. You're not her father." I wanted to scream and jump for joy over what she had just done. "Where would you like to go and eat." She looked down at me as we walked away from him.

"Surprise me."

I sighed as I picked at the chicken on my plate. I tried to eat it, it was delicious, it really was, but having real food in my stomach was making me feel sick.

"Why aren't you eating Michiru?" she glanced at me as she took another sip of her wine.

"I did..." I know I hadn't eaten much, but a few bites was better than nothing.

"Barely anything though...Don't you like it?" I could hear the hurt in her voice.

"No...It's very good Haruka. I like it a lot...I-" My fork hit the plate as my hand rested on the table. "It's making me sick though..."

"If it's making you sick we'll order you something else."

"No." It was the only word I could find to speak.

"It's no big deal Michiru."

I tried to eat another bite. My stomach couldn't handle it as it churned in response. "I said no." I pushed the plate away from me and reached for my water, maybe that would help me relax.

"You're sick Michiru..." she whispered across the table. How could she know so much about me so soon. "You're not fat Michiru...I heard the way he spoke to you the day I took you out to lunch."

"Yes I am..." Hiroshi had brain washed me into thinking it. When him and I first met and started touring I was comfortable being a size 6. But now...I barely fill a size 2 dress.

"No..." she moved onto the bench seat beside me. "I know I haven't known you that long but I can see the pain in your eyes Michiru. I can hear the hunger in your stomach."

"Why do you care?" I don't know where the coldness in my voice came from. "Why does it matter to you what happens to me?"

"You should at least try to eat something more than salads."

"I did try...it's making me sick..." I found myself making up lies. Each bite of the chicken was wonderful. I was trying to trick myself into thinking it was horrible.

"When going through this you have to take it slow. You can't just dive right into eating a steak or anything like that, it has to be gradual."

"You talk like it's from experience."

"I helped nurse an old friend of mine through something similar."

She smiled at me. That smile sent a chill down my spine. "Thank you." Was all I could say to her.

"She reached for my fork and offered it to me. "Eat just a little more? For me?"

How could I deny that? How could I deny her anything she asked of me? I nodded and started eating again. I was only able to finish three more bites before my stomach screamed in protest. I think it was full. I spoke to her again as she moved back to the other side of the table. "Thank you Haruka."