Turn On Me
Chapter 1-I Don't Want To Get Over You
I could listen to all my friends
and go out again and pretend it's enough,
I could make a career of being blue...
But I don't want to get over you.
I Don't Want To Get Over You by The Magnetic Fields
"And so I was relaxing in the on call room after this ten hour surgery that saved this kid's life when this crazy old lady wanders in, not knowing where she is…" I nodded, a fake smile plastered on my face to indicate that I was listening. Really, I was fixed on the piece of spinach stuck between his two front teeth. It was so…distracting. Not that the distraction wasn't unwelcome. It certainly beat listening to this man talk about his heroic, life saving adventures as Doctor Boring. I'm surprised that he hasn't bored one of his dates to death with his ridiculous, self-aggrandizing stories. But Suikotsu the Bore just kept right on talking "And so, she starts screaming, thinking that I'm her son who died in World War II and then she faints…"
Mmm, that's right. I'm on a date. Trust me; I'm as unenthused as the next person to be out and about with this guy. I mean, he wasn't bad to look at. Really, he was kind of cute, in a dorky way, when his mouth wasn't running. But Dr. Suikotsu Bores-me-to-death hadn't stopped talking since we entered the restaurant. I'm sure that, by now, you've assumed that not only do I not like Suikotsu, but I'd rather stab myself with a salad fork so that he would stop talking and take me to the hospital to get stitches. "But then she started to seize and I knew that I had to step in and solve this mystery…" That's right folks. This guy fancies himself the next Dr. Greg House.
"Uh huh!" I nodded, trying to appear enthusiastic. Quickly, I picked up my glass of red wine and downed what was left of it. "I'd hate to interrupt, but I need to go to the powder room. I'll be right back."
"Oh, okay!" He looked shocked that I had actually interrupted him. Clearly, nothing could be more riveting than his rescuing a defenseless, old woman. Surely, my need for the bathroom could wait. But too the ladies' room I did walk, my black pumps clicking on the tile floor as I entered. I placed my black clutch purse beside the sink and set about washing my hands. Opting to use the air drying instead of paper towels—not for any environmental reason, mind you. It just took longer—I dried my hands and then walked back to the mirror. I reapplied my lipstick and put on a little more powder before I reached into my bag and pulled out my phone. I rolled my eyes. I had been in here less than five minutes. I took a step back and took a look at myself in the mirror. I was wearing a black dress and, along with my black shoes and black purse, I was dressed more appropriately for a funeral than a date. But that was fine with me. We wouldn't want Dr. Suikotsu the Dull to get the wrong idea. To be honest, I didn't want anyone to get the wrong idea. I wasn't interested in dating. Four years is a long time, but I still wasn't over Inuyasha and I don't believe I ever will be.
Hopping up next to the sink, I slid back towards the mirror and leaned against it. I flipped open my phone and dialed quickly, placing the phone to my ear.
"Hello?" a feminine voice answered and I smiled. Just who I was hoping for.
"Would it be rude if I escaped through the back and ditched Suikotsu?"
"What?" was her shocked response.
"Sango, the man is a total pain. Please, don't make me go back out there." Sango was my youngest sister, only a year younger than me. We had only become close in the last few years. Growing up, I had always tagged along with Kikyo, our elder sister, and then, after Dad died, I clung to my aunt. It was only after Inuyasha did I finally come to appreciate her. She was caring, kind, determined, loyal and a slight bit wacky. She knew me better than I knew myself sometimes.
"Kagome, I know you may not like the guy, but the least he deserves is for you to at least make it through the end of the date before you judge him. He may be nervous. I'm sure, given some time, you'll warm up to him," she tried to reason with me. Oh Sango, ever the logical one.
"Sango, for the past hour and a half, all I've done is listen to him boast about how he saves lives for a living. Like that somehow makes him superior to the rest of us." I replied, annoyed that she would try to make Suikotsu out better than he happened to be in real life. Sango sighed.
"He's that bad, huh?" She asked, defeated.
"The worst," I responded with disdain.
"Well, if you had just gotten together with all the nice guys I set you up with, then I wouldn't have to resort to giving out your number to random men I met in the supermarket checkout line." Yeah, Sango is the one responsible for not only this disastrous date, but for countless others the past for years. Sango is nothing if not determined to repay you for any kindness you happen to bestow upon her. In fact, she brings new meaning to the phrase "no good deed goes unpunished." You see, right after I graduated, I was hanging out with Sango when I bumped into an old boyfriend. His sisters, Eri and Ayume, and I had been in the same class and friendly with each other. Miroku had gone to a special private school for the arts—he was an exceptionally talented painter—and after I had been at his house for a slumber party with the girls and our other friend, Yuka, we met and hooked up for a little while. It was nothing too serious. I was sixteen and he was seventeen; at that point our hormones were running wild and needed an outlet. We were together six months before we both decided that we were better off as friends. But when I bumped into him all those years later, in a Starbucks of all places, he and Sango had hit it off. Needless to say, a year and a half later, wedding bells were ringing. It is this coincidental piece of fate that has cause my lovely sister to try and find me a "new Miroku." I know that she means well—she just wants me to be as happy as she is—but at this point, I've had my fair share of failed first dates. There were never seconds.
"Wait," I asked, "random guys in the supermarket?"
"Well…" she hesitated, "I was shopping the other day and he happened to be in front of me in line. The place was packed and I was waiting at least a half an hour, so I got a chance to talk to him. He seemed nice, so I mentioned I had a wonderful, beautiful, single, older sister and gave him your number so he could set something up."
"You set me up with a guy you knew all of thirty minutes?!" I inquired, shocked and outraged. I suppose this is what I get for not saying "no" to my little sister. "For all you know, he could be a serial killer or a creepy stalker!"
"Geez, I'm sorry. If you had only just hooked up with one of my better guy friends—" she snapped back, but stopped herself. "Okay. I promise that I won't set you up anymore. It seems to me that my efforts are going unappreciated."
"Sango," I pleaded, hoping she wasn't mad at me, "I never asked for this. Don't worry, I'll find a nice guy eventually," Ha! Fat chance, "and then we'll look back on this and laugh."
"I know," she conceded.
"Now," I chimed in, enthusiastically, "what are we going to do about Suikotsu the Boasting Pest?" I could tell that she was rolling her eyes at me.
"You should go back out there, have some dessert then part ways like polite society says you should before he thinks you fell into the toilet or something," she lectured. I chuckled.
"Aw, you're no fun," I cajoled.
"Goodbye Kagome," Sango replied exasperatedly.
"Love you too sis!" She hung up and I flipped my phone closed with a sigh. I slid off the countertop and walked out of the ladies' room. Suikotsu the Bore, you better be prepared, because here I come!
Dinner at my family's house on Sunday night has been a tradition long upheld before my birth. The rule is, if you don't have another pressing social engagement (that is, you are either at the Academy Awards or have lost an arm and are in the ER) and you don't live an unreasonable distance of away (more than two hours), then you must attend, no ifs, ands, or buts. This is why, at the age of twenty five, I was going to my childhood home to eat an uncomfortable meal and be reduced to feeling like I was seven.
The dining room spared no expense at making me increasingly uncomfortable. The long table, which my mother not sat at the head of, was treated with a dark finish. It looked almost black, and, when you're sitting at the other end of it, it has a habit of making you feel small and insignificant under the critical gaze of your elders. The walls are painted a deep forest green and the chandelier was never brightened too much. My mother felt that bright light was too harsh for her and made her look old. The china was passed down from one generation to the next since the 18th century. It was very pretty and very expensive. The silverware too, was a family heirloom. The chairs were wooden and stained to match the table. They also happened to be the single most uncomfortable chair that you would ever sit on.
My mother always made a seating chart for any occasion, these Sunday night dinners included. In fact, the layout has been the same for so long, no one has to think about it anymore. Next to my mother, on her left, sits her boy toy of the week. There have been so many that I don't bother asking for their names anymore. They're gone before there is a need for me to remember.
On her right sits the reigning matriarch of the Higurashi family. Dr. Kimi Higurashi, or Auntie Kim, as I refer to her. Auntie is by no means a dumb, trophy wife. She was raised rich, yes, but she always used that to gain every opportunity she ever needed. Auntie has a PhD in psychology and when she's working on her third book, she's a guest lecturer at the state university. When she married Taji Matsumoto at the age of twenty seven, she refused to change her name. While Matsumoto had good standing in society, in my Aunt's opinion, nothing could be better than being a Higurashi. It opened doors that were closed and locked to the rest of the world. My uncle passed away when I was very young—too young to remember if my aunt ever truly cared about him. I sincerely doubt she did, though; the only man she was ever pleased with was my father. Taji Matsumoto was just what was expected of her. Is it any wonder that she disapproved of Inuyasha, a "penniless musician" with "no chance of success?" I know she appear harsh, but she really thinks that she's doing what's best for me. She cares too much because she knows my sisters will never amount to much. Kikyo is too much like my mother, whom she despises, and while she is easier on Sango, her hopes are dreams are pinned on me. She tells me every time I see her how much I remind her of her brother—my father. She has placed me on a pedestal my whole life. I used to revel in the attention—after all, I got none from my mother or sisters growing up—but that was back when I was naïve enough to believe that I could live up to her expectations. Now I've pretty much resigned myself to never being good enough for Auntie Kim. That doesn't stop her from thinking that things will eventually turn around for me; as if, overnight, I would transform into someone with a successful job, a steady, rich boyfriend and a gorgeous house, large enough to raise children in.
Diagonally across from Auntie Kim is my sister Kikyo, who perpetually looks like she has a stick up her butt. We've never gotten along, even though I followed her around like a lost puppy growing up. She's cold and disassociated with everyone but her friend Kagura. Granted, I can understand why she's like that. My mother, like Auntie Kim did with me, pinned all her expectations on Kikyo. She was supposed to be married with children now. I'm sure that when Sango got married first, she felt nothing but envy. After all, it was supposed to be her. Next to her always sat Kagura. Kagura Yamada has been friends with my sister since high school and she was around so much that she was practically family. Of course that doesn't say much, as the majority of my family and I don't get along very well. This includes Kagura. Sango and Miroku sat next to my aunt and, bringing up the rear, I sat next to Kagura.
These dinners were painful to get through most weeks. It was formulaic at this point. We'd sit down for dinner and my mother would start a banal conversation with her boyfriend. Auntie Kim would interject, change the subject, and find a way to include something she would want to discuss with me. I would answer politely, but my opinion would be overshadowed quickly as my mother would regain control of the conversation again. She would direct the attention to Kikyo, suggest a man for her to go out with and then marry, to which Kikyo would vehemently protests to. This would cause an argument between the two, which usually escalated to some yelling before boyfriend would pretend to be all macho and would step in, trying to diffuse the situation and impress mother. However, this would just serve to piss her off and then they would start arguing, culminating with boy toy being thrown out. Kagura would never say a word during all of this, just eat in silence. Auntie Kim would, eventually, ignore it all with distaste and engage me, Sango, and, when it suited her, Miroku in conversation. Soon enough, the evening would end and I'd be on my way home. It wasn't a wonderful experience, but I was used to it; I was almost comforted by it.
But when I entered tonight, I knew that something was up and that I wasn't going to like it. For starters, my mother had no man accompanying her. That alone was enough to make me suspicious. But to make matters worse, Kikyo and Kagura were sharing conspiratorial views and secret smiles. I could easily put this down to both of them coming out and acknowledging that they were lesbians, but combined with my mother, who was avoiding both my own and Auntie Kim's eyes, I knew that something terrible was about to happen. Before the meal was served, my mother stood up and cleared her throat. I shot a look at Sango, who was usually more in the loop than I was, but she just shrugged.
"I have an announcement to me," she declared. Auntie Kim's jaw dropped and she gasped,
"Oh god, you're pregnant!" My mother had the decency to blush, though, from embarrassment or rage I'll never be sure.
"No," She stated firmly and primly, clearly offended. "I most certainly am not."
"Well?" Auntie questioned, a triumphant smile on her face at having humiliated my mother, "Out with it already."
"I'm moving!" She announced, a huge smile on her face. My face drained of color.
"To where?" I croaked out.
"To the beach. This house is far too big for me." Although, we both knew that she was going to purchase a house of equal, if not grander size.
"And the house?" My aunt cut it.
"I'm going to find some renters, at least for the summer. Kikyo and Kagura will be coming down to help me look and get settled in. I'm sure I'll come back eventually, but who knows. I think that I need a change of scenery."
"Just as long as you're not selling the place, Kaori, then I don't care what you do. This is the ancestral home of the Higurashis. I would be most disappointed to have to take legal action against you." Ha! You'd relish every minute of it.
"I would never sell this place!" My mother replied haughtily.
"Well the, I'll have my solicitor"—yes, Auntie K was the kind of 'posh' woman who still said solicitor—"get to work on finding prospective tenants for you," she added coolly.
"Oh you would?" My mother asked eagerly. It was clear that she was hoping that Aunt Kimi would deal with the paperwork. "That's so nice of you Kimi. But tell him to be very selective. I can't bare the thought of just anyone having the place. Oh! I know. They should be a lovely, young, married couple. Newlyweds! Doesn't that just sound perfect?" We all nodded politely. "Well then, as it's the alst dinner we'll have until I'm settled down the shore, let's eat!" she commanded.
"Kaori, I have a suggestion," Auntie Kim spoke just as the food began to be served.
"Oh?" my mother's voice was filled with trepidation. Aunt Kimi's suggestions almost always never worked out in her favor, but there was nothing she could do to object to them.
"Well, as you know, I have a beach house that I won't be using for a few more weeks. Why don't we put these dinners on hold until then. I'll bring the girls down with me and we'll have a party celebrating our reunion." At the word party, my mother's eyes lit up.
"Oh! Wonderful!" She glanced over at Kikyo and Kagura, both of whom nodded their approval. It was settled. Both my own and Sango's opinion didn't matter. We shared a wry glance and a sarcastic smirk before we ate our meals with a relatively calm air about us.
On the way home, a smile stretched over my face. Six whole weeks without my dreadful family dinners. Nothing, nothing, could have made the evening better. It didn't matter that strangers would be living in the house I grew up in. While I was sentimentally attached to some of the rooms, I hadn't lived there since I graduated. It would be weird, yes, when I went to go visit Sango who lived in the same neighborhood, to see someone else living in our house, but eventually, I'd get over it. Besides, it wasn't like it was forever.
In celebration, I had the windows down, the breeze blowing through my air, the radio turned up, and I sang along to some inane pop song. Things were better than they had been in a long time. While I had no significant other—and no prospects, for that matter—I had friends. I had Sango and Miroku and Eri and Ayume, who I didn't see quite as often, and while a little bit frivolous, were fairly good company. I had my own apartment and a job, both of which were things that many people didn't have. And without these dinners, I was a little less stressed. All of this should have been my first indicator that things were about to turn south and quickly.
"'This is 103.7 WECT, I'm Ace Tamada here with Inuyasha Azuma, rising independent rock star. Hey Inuyasha, how are you tonight?'
'I'm pretty good, Ace. It really doesn't get better than having your first single debut on the radio.'" I slammed on the brakes and swerved over to the side of the road, my brakes screeching in protest at the sudden stop. The sound of his voice, even after so long, was like being punched in the gut.
"'True that. For those of you living in a cave, Azuma's new hit "Worth It" off is new album Train Wreck is premiering tonight only on 103.7. Now, I've got to say, Inuyasha, you're a big hit among the ladies.'" He laughed at this. "So what they want to know is whether or not you have a girlfriend.'
'Nah, not right now. I had my heart broken a few years back, really bad. Smashed to pieces really. Turned out to be a good thing. I mean, not only did it free me from a heartless harpy, it gave me some great material for my music. But right now, I'm just playing the field. Should someone special happen to come along, that'd be great, but I wouldn't count on it.'
'You hear that ladies? The man is single and looking! Well, I've got loads of listener questions for you, and I promise everyone out there, you'll get your answers. But, first things first. This really has promise to be the smash hit of the summer. For everyone waiting out there, with bated breath, here's "Worth It" by Inuyasha Azuma." The song began to play and I leaned back in my seat, my eyes welling up with tears. I took a few deep breaths and allowed myself to calm down. I would not cry over this. I was past this point. It was four years ago; I shouldn't be this affected by just his voice. Freaking out wasn't going to allow me to go back in time and change things.
I listened to song and the rest of the interview before I flicked it off and drove the rest of the way home in silence.
A/N: Chapter 1 is officially here! I got quite a bit of positive feedback, particularly alerts and favorites. Thanks to the few that reviewed. I know this chapter threw a lot of information at you, but it was necessary to set up for the rest of the plot. Note also, that 103.7 WECT is made up and not a real radio station in anyway (ECT are my initials haha).
That's all for now. REVIEW people! I wanna hear what you think! Next chapter will include a few new characters, a couple of whom I've already mentioned and two that I haven't. And Inuyasha is not far off!!
Emily
NaP