Musical Inspiration: "Welcome, Ghosts" by Explosions in the Sky & "Passenger Seat" by Death Cab for Cutie.
Thank You to everyone following & reviewing!
Having Blair back in his arms brought back an overwhelming sense of peace: it was like coming home. Yes, he was Chuck Bass. It was the nonchalant, egotistical answer for everything two years ago, his catch phrase. Yes, Chuck Bass was capable of feeling. Chuck Bass loved Blair Waldorf, more than anything. The epic and grand love affair of senior year had proved that. The jealousy, the games, the grief, the lies, the scheming had brought them both here... So what was he doing now? The thank you he had bestowed upon Blair as they walked down the hospital halls was delivered with a feeling of restraint. He had instinctively wanted to lay a tender kiss on her head, and the alien restriction to that simple affection left Chuck feeling bereft.
It was a rare circumstance. Both Chuck and Blair had lost their standing, the impasse in their relationship loomed over their heads ominously. As much as he had the urge to give her a soft kiss as he pulled Blair closer to him, he knew he had hurt her earlier with his words. For a moment, there was a terse acknowledgement of the distance that had been created by the events of the day, but the confession in the hall left a balming presence in the holes left by his grief.
The pair entered the limo in a comfortable silence, Chuck sitting next to Blair and seeking out her eyes with his own. His voice had a quiet, unsure timber as she raised her gaze.
"I'm sorry. I know it's not enough. Never is, but it's true all the same."
Blair nodded agreeably, seeming to have no words for once. Chuck leaned closer to her, until he could see the distinct hues in her irises. Her hands met his, their fingers intertwining and engaging in a familiar dance. He let out an imperceptible sigh, not knowing where to start
"I don't know what I did right for you to forgive me every time I mess up; I know you deserve better--I've always known. That's why I--"
"Excuse me?"
Whatever Chuck had planned on saying was brought to a stuttering halt by Blair's incredulous indignation and furrowed brow. While the small pout she sported was as adorable as ever, the venom in her glare and the fire smoldering behind her eyes were disarming.
"Who are you to choose what I deserve? Yes, you're Chuck Bass. I'm Blair Waldorf. No one tells me what I deserve, I tell them. Don't you know already? I love you so much, it consumes me!"
Seeing Chuck's face soften and the tension in his shoulder melt at her words, Blair lowered her voice to a more gentle and loving tone, yet maintaining the same level of ferocity.
"You know me better than anyone else, and I like to think I know you that way too. I understand, now, why you felt like you couldn't talk to me. But I was there for you. I am here for you. I will always be here for you. I never want you to let something like this eat away at you like this again; I love you too much--I couldn't bear it."
Blair let out a wry chuckle, shaking her head slightly. Chuck tried to get another word in, but Blair cut in again.
"I don't know how many times I have to say it for you to finally understand. I love you. I love you.I love you. Not just when you're being sleazy, or sweet, or romantic. Cut-throat businessman or coward, I'll still love you. I .told you in the hospital and I'll tell you again: you're strong. You carry me. You're my strength. Let me be that for you."
She let out a small sniffle as lonely tears trailed down her cheeks. Blair gave a reaffirming squeeze to their interlocked hands as she laid her other hand on his cheek, drawing him closer and watching Chuck's emotional barricades lower, the tension in his face dissipating. Blair continued on:
"If you still need that time--"
Chuck's slight shake of his head made the words die in Blair's throat. He seemed to swallow a lump in his throat, his voice coming out smoothly and softly.
"It was stupid of me to have even thought I'd be better without you, or that you'd be better without me. I was so wrapped up in business, my father--" Chuck's voice took on a timber of disdain. "I was obsessed with Bart's idea of being strong... of overcoming weakness. I didn't see what I had. You were right. It seems like you always are. It was wrong of me to push you away again."
Chuck laughed dryly, recognizing that his words were reminiscent of a memorable return from Europe after graduation. Knowing that there needed to be a final reassurance, he went on:
"I have what I need, here." Extricating his hand from hers, Chuck laid his hand on her arm pulling her closer. It was a tender, heartbreakingly gentle kiss; it felt too much like a goodbye. Blair's mind flashed to confessions of love halted by a certain Humphrey, promises of a "maybe eventually...", an excruciating pleasure. There was a palpable tension hanging thickly in the limo, a sense of expectancy as she cast a familiar hopeful glance into Chuck's eyes. The words she had so missed as she had exited his penthouse earlier, the words she seemed to always be waiting for from him...
"I love you, Blair."
The breath she had been holding was released, the hopeful glimmer in her eye twinkling brightly as her lips met his again, and again. These kisses were different: heated, desperate, with hands clutching clothes, pulling each other closer but never getting close enough. It was a reunion, and it was obvious now that they hadn't kissed each other goodbye --just the grief and distance.
Strength, they later mused, was key. All the strength they needed was in their hands, lingering on their lips, trailing beneath their clothes...
I was intending this to be a bit longer, but I lost momentum with the holidays and whatnot. Unfortunately, I return to the so-called real world on Monday so I don't know when I'll be able to continue writing. With the last few weeks of the term and finals coming up, I don't know whether I'll be completely absorbed in cramming and studying or releasing all my stress in writing!
Thank you again for reading! Thank you to my reviewers especially, who have helped me and really encouraged me to do this!