Disclaimer: I don't own Ouran High School Host Club…except in my wildest dreams.

-----

"Cutting might help," Kyouya ran the tip of his finger along the edge of the knife he held. A single drop of blood fell and landed on the dark marble of the counters. He sighed and brought the knife back down. It cleanly sliced the end of the carrot off.

He continued with his actions until the carrot was completely sliced. It wasn't like him to cook, but at the moment it was something to help him get his mind off the matter at hand.

His hand flew towards a potatoe. It faced the same fate as the carrot before all the cut vegetables on the cutting board ended up in the large pot next to him. Just as he scraped the last celery slice off the board, his phone burst into life. His brain racked though ringtones trying to distinguish whose ringtone that was.

His palm came in direct contact with his forehead as he realized that it was Tamaki's. Of course. Who else would it be?

He set the knife down and reached for the phone. The sight of blood made him slow. The small prick had split open and was now spilling blood down his finger and onto his palm. His eyes grew squinty as he picked up his phone.

"Kyouya," his bored tone echoed over to the other line. He switched hands with the phone and made his way to the bathroom, wondering if anyone was ever going to answer him.

"Kyouya?" a small voice spoke from the other line. A sigh of annoyance escaped his lips. Hadn't he just said Kyouya? Wait…that wasn't Tamaki's voice. He stopped in the door of the bathroom.

"Yes? This is he," he stretched down and began to search for the first aid kit. Usually he would just get one of his servants to patch it up, but lately he had come dependant on only one person: himself.

"Kyouya!" the voice screamed. Kyouya pulled the phone away from his ear and let his head droop. They didn't have to yell! He had a headache already, no use to make it worse. "I've been trying to reach but the home phone isn't connected! Why haven't you picked up? Why did you not answer your cell the first few million times I've called?"

"Hmm?" Kyouya took this moment to view his call history. This person was telling the truth. He had 14 missed calls. He scrolled through the list, listening to the voice chatter on some more. 6 were from Tamaki, 2 from the twins, and the others were from an unknown number.

He racked his brain trying to guess who this caller might be. After a few moments it realized the room was silent again. He drew the phone up to his mouth. "Hello. Who is this?"

The voice on the other line drew in a deep breath. Kyouya took this moment of hesitance to pull the first aid kit from under the sink. It landed with a muffled sound on his foot. He bit down on his tongue, hard.

"It's me silly," the voice was soft again, and calmer. He was would have been soothed by the voice had he not felt the pain shooting through his foot. "Your sister?"

Kyouya's hand froze, right over the top of the kit in front of him. His dark eyes grew wide and he hurried to reply to his sister,

"Fuyumi?" he was shocked by his own tone. There seemed to be something like desperation in his tone. He could handle this. Remember…

"Oh Kyouya! I'm so happy I finally reached you!" Now that he was really listening to her he thought it sounded like she was…crying, or had been crying. "I-I…how are you doing?"

"Fine," Kyouya stuck to his monotone voice. He wasn't weak, he didn't show emotion. There were no merits.

"Are you sure? After…after an event like that, it's sometimes hard to-"

"I'm fine," he snapped back at her. She didn't need to be worrying about him. He knew she had problems of her own.

"Ok then," she seemed slightly offended by his answer. "I just wanted to call to…tell you that I still can't come home. They're having troubles with my passport. But I promise to get home as soon as possible, though."

"Of course," Kyouya knew he was disappointed inside. But there was no room for that here. "Good luck with your passport. Goodbye."

"Oh…bye then. And Kyouya?" he lifted the phone back up to his ear, "I love you little brother. You're still here and I'm so glad for that. I'll talk to you later then. Bye."

The click came from the other end by Kyouya didn't acknowlledge it. He simply held the phone to his ear, staring at the opposite wall. Why did she have to make this so difficult for him? Why did she even think she has the right to tell me I'm still here.

"Do you think I don't know that!" he yelled into the phone. "And I hate myself for it everyday! I could have stopped them! I could have!" His fist connected with marble floor. He let out a small noise of disgust. The sight of blood brought him back to his senses.

Kyouya snapped the phone shut and pulled open the first aid kit. It took about ten minutes to get the medicine on his finger and wrap it. His mind kept wandering. When he finally did get it done one thing was running through his mind:

I did to get her ringtone chnaged, so it doesn't match Tamaki's.

It was terrible to be thinking such thoughts and pushing other more important issues to the back of his mind. But it was all he could focus clearly on. He was already racking his brain for what else he could set for her ringtone.

As he walked out of the bathroom a burning smell filled the hallway.

"Shit!" he cried, racing for the kitchen to save his soup.

------

Kyouya fumbled in his pocket for a moment. A few moments later he withdrew a small white stick. He settled it between his lips and raised a lighter to it. He drew in a breath and placed the stick between his fingers. After pulling it out he let the white smoke flow from his mouth. He pressed his back against the brick wall and let his eyes close.

It was the day after he had received the phone call from his sister. Kyouya knew he shouldn't be smoking, but right now he was so stressed. He made his mind believe this was good for him. He lifted up his hands and let a single finger rub at his temples. He could feel a migraine coming on.

"Kyouya," a voice erupted to his right. His eyes slowly opened and he turned his head to find Tamaki looking hard at him. It was more of a glare. "You smoke?"

The dark haired boy merely raised an eyebrow and let his head dip for a moment, before bring it back up to face the heated stare of the blonde. As of now Tamaki was marching towards him. He grasped the end of the cigarette and threw it to the ground. Kyouya bit down on his tongue to stop himself from saying something not so flattering to the other boy.

"Those things will damage your lungs. There's no merit in that. What are you doing out here anyway?" So, he had decided to take a leaf out of Haruhi's book. Well, two could play at that game.

"I was smoking before you came out here," he replied, ready to reach into his pocket for another cigarette. A voice behind Tamaki stopped him.

"Kyou-chan?" Hunny stared up at Kyouya with those large, honey colored eyes. Mori stood behind him, glaring. He felt a lump rise in his throat. "What are you doing?"

His hand paused on the cigarette he had been ready to pull out. Kyouya bit down on his bottom lip and pulled his hand away, with no cigarette.

He scowled at the fact that such childhood methods could make him give in so easily. Hunny was a year older than him. He only looked like a child, and acted like a child. But…there was an innocence about Hunny and he'd hate to take that away from him.

"Nothing," he saw a wide smile spread across Tamaki's face. His crossed arms fell from his chest. "Come on, it's windy out here." Without another word he made his way through the trimmed grass of the courtyard and into the school doors.

Club activities were over for the day so all he had to do was grab his stuff. There was a perfect chance for him to smoke at home. No one was there to tell him not to.

He caught Haruhi and one of the twins at the door. Haruhi stared hard at him while the twin simply nodded in his direction and directed Haruhi down the hall, with a hand on her back.

Kyouya raised an eyebrow and shook his head. He pushed opened the door to the Third Music Room and set himself on a course towards his bag. A small sigh from the opposite side of the room stopped him. He turned to find the other twin staring out the window.

He squinted his eyes and pushed his glasses up. Before he knew it he was standing by the other twin's side. Over his shoulder he could see twin who had just left with Haruhi, chasing her to a limo parked out front.

"Hikaru…" the twin watching from afar whispered. He pressed his hand to the glass and stared down as the limo took off. His hand clenched into a fist and he removed it from the window, his head drooping slightly.

By now Kyouya had determined that this was Kaoru. He laid a hand on the boy's shoulder.

Kaoru jumped, startled by the sudden presence in the room. His head turned sharply to look up at Kyouya.

"Are you ok Kaoru?" Kyouya asked. Kaoru continued to stare at him. He threw one last desperate glance out the window but the limo was already gone.

"How can I feel like I'm losing him?" Kaoru whispered, looking at the ground outside of the window. "I know that tonight he'll crawl into my bed and we'll talk all about his date with Haruhi. We'll get off topic and then laugh about it until we cry. And then he'll kiss the tears away and we'll fall asleep…together. But…" He was silent for a moment, as if deciding what to say next.

"The next day everything will be the same. He'll chase Haruhi around and ask her on another date. And before I know it Hikaru will be gone. What happened?"

"Life happened," Kyouya replied, his tone lacking his usual coldness.

Kaoru looked back up at him. He glared long and hard at the older boy as if daring him to say something more. "Life is horrible."

"Of course it is!" Kyouya snapped, "Life does what it wants, when it wants. And you can't stop it!" He had gripped Kaoru by his shoulders and was practically shaking him. Or maybe it was just his whole body that was shaking.

"Why can't I stop it? It's my life!" Kaoru hissed the words at him, slapping his hands away from his shoulders.

"Because you can't! You're brother is going to leave and you're not going to be able to stop it!" Kyouya surprised himself with such harsh words.

Kaoru jumped up and shoved Kyouya back. "How dare you say that! You don't know anything! You've never lost a brother!"

A loud smack rang throughout the room. Kaoru was crouched down on the floor, clutching his cheek. Kyouya stood over him, his shoulders rising and falling. His hand had collided with Kaoru's cheek before he had even known what was happening. His eyes burned with a fiery hatred.

"Listen well Kaoru! You have no right to tell me what I've lost, and what I haven't. I've lost more than you ever have!" Kaoru looked up at him from the ground. His cheek was already beginning to swell. "I lost my two brothers and father all in the time period of about two minutes." Kaoru's eyes grew wide and he opened his mouth attempting to speak, but Kyouya cut him off.

"And I haven't seen my sister in months and now she's stuck in America! Who knows when I'll see her! I've lost all my family! So before you go and tell me what I haven't lost, get your facts straight!"

Kyouya was breathing hard. His hands were clenched in two fists in his pockets, attempting not to punch something. Kaoru was still staring up at him with wide eyes. He forced his eyes closed and stared hard at the ground. A single tear fell from his eyes and onto the floor. Kaoru stared at it.

Kyouya spun on his heel and picked up his bag. He was at the door in moments. A call rang out from behind him.

"Wait!" he turned and found Kaoru staring at him. He had gotten up off the ground and was holding a hand towards Kyouya. "I-I didn't know…"

Kyouya's face was blank once more. "I guess you know now. So, I guess you'll go and tell everyone about my dead brothers and father."

"No! I would never…I'm so sorry Kyouya…about your loss," Kaoru added.

"I'm sorry too," he whispered, turning back around. He let another single tear slide down his cheek. He raised an arm to his eyes and wiped it away. Kyouya threw a casual glance over his shoulder at Kaoru. He was still watching him. He had to be strong. His eyes glanced over the sadness in Kaoru's eyes. Maybe not just for himself.

-----

A/N: Well, I hope you guys liked this chapter. I apologize for the lateness. I was brought into an argument with two friends and it's been some dramatic stuff. I've even decided to write a book on it (with a few altered details). I think the plot will be good but my writing it will probably make it suck.

Well anyway, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. I apologize if maybe this story is going too fast. All my work seems to do that. I guess I'm just not good with the details. Well, I hope you still like the story. Enjoy reading the rest of it!