AN

OEHMGEE

Ayden is back in action. This has to be the longest chapter I have ever written for a fan fiction. 8 pages, folks, tis a miracle!! Anyway, read and review and enjoy!

Disclaimer: No, I do not own KH, or any of its characters, sorry loves. This means I can't bloody well make Axel and Roxas lovers in the game, or make Orgy 13: a hentai game for KH. Teehee. I have it all in my mind though~~~!

Axel's POV

Even though I said that Roxas was better…I still watched him closely. Has it really been only a few months, since I had saved him from oblivion? Had time really moved that quickly? How had he made this impact on me…how did Roxas ALWAYS have this impact on me.

I sure as hell didn't know. Maybe that's why I'm asking you.

As a Nobody…in the Castle, I hadn't expected to love someone. But then Roxas showed up…quiet, unspeaking, like a doll. And I wanted him. I wanted to love him so much…to feel another being, even if we really didn't have hearts.

Then I died. At my own hand (I would never tell Demyx that…he still thinks Sora killed me.), for Sora…for Roxas, who I knew was in there somewhere. Maybe he saw me die? That thought haunted me still. The original Roxas…back in that other world, in Sora's body. Alone, within his Somebody.

Yeah, I know, Sentimental Axel. Oh no, the world is over, the horndog has feelings!!

If you're thinking that, I hope you burn. Ass.

"You have a job?" Demyx asked me from across the table, a corndog in one hand, and a packet of ketchup in another. I snickered mentally. Teehee, can you see what that looks like?

Oh. Derr, never mind, you can't.

Wait. Who am I talking to anyway? Gah, forget it.

"Yes, dip shit, I have a job, in this world? You Can't just go kill something and get munny, you have to earn it here, ergo, a job." I picked at my glorious, heavenly chili cheese fries. For some reason, I just couldn't eat them today. "In fact, you should probably get one too. You can't expect Roxas to feed you forever." Roxas protested, and I saw Demyx flinch. I did too…the acid in my voice was plain to everyone at the table. Well, except for Zexion, course he was so…whatever he is…that he didn't notice.

Why had I snapped like that, at my best friend? Maybe…maybe it was because I had forgotten how fragile Roxas was…and acted the way I did earlier? Maybe that was ruining my delicious lovely heavenly chilli cheese fries, and making me a right royal bitch?

Gah, again with the asking…

"He works in the flower shop Aerith runs. She says he has a special way with the tiger lilies, and the carnations." Roxas smiled at me, one of his big, eye-crinkling anime ones. A tiny little sun blossomed in my chest, and my unhappiness disappeared. God I loved him so much, he was every-

"BAHAHAAA AXEL WORKING WITH FLOWERS??" Demyx burst into the loudest, most annoying laughter ever. "What, are you turning into a Marluxia? I thought for sure you'd be a professional killer-"

"Illegal." Roxas and I said at the same time. This was strangely similar to one of our first conversations…

"Assassin?"

"Isn't' that the same thing?" Roxas asked.

"No, and again illegal" I started to eat my chili cheese fries with greater gusto. And drink my smoothie. Glorious smoothies, strawberry, the most delicious thing ever.

"Ninja?" Demyx asked in a very small voice.

"Not in this era. Go back a few hundred years." Roxas slurped his smoothie, a vanilla one. A little bit was left over on his lip…a white…creamy mustache.

Urk. Pain! You cannot get hard in these stupid skinny jeans!!

"So what could I do?" Demyx whined, and flailed a bit. I grabbed my smoothie. No. Fucking. Way. Was. That. Retard. Spilling. My. Smoothie. I held it close to my chest. The smoothie was too holy for that.

"Well. I was thinking, Axel said you could play the…what was it? Sitar? So I'm wondering, can you play other instruments?" Roxas asked, noticing the creamy whiteness and licking it slowly. I caught him wink at me, from the corner of my eye. He knew I was watching him.

My pants just became incredibly more painful.

Demyx POV

"So what can I do?" I asked, waving my arms a bit. I was panicking on the inside; all I could do was play my beloved-

"Well. I was thinking, Axel said you could play the…what was it? Sitar? So I'm wondering, can you play other instruments?" Roxas asked, licking the vanilla smoothie off of his lip. I saw Axel twitch, and then saw Roxas wink. Haha, he's not as innocent as Axel thinks, I think. But Arpeggio…my beloved sitar…I missed her so much! She was like my baby…

"I can play sitar, guitar, piano and violin." I named them off on my fingers. "Arpeggio my sitar, was my favourite instrument, I miss it a lot; Accarezevole my piano, because all I played on it was soft melodies' Affanato, my violin, because I played sad music on it; and Affretando, my guitar, because I played fast on it." a single, solitary tear escaped my left eye…naming them, my beloved instruments, made me feel so incomplete here. (1*)

"Hmm…we could get you a teaching job, I guess. As a music teacher. Let me talk to my brother, I bet he could find you something." Roxas slurped some of his vanilla smoothie, a strange thing that was a sole piece of brilliant genius of this world.

Mine was called "coffee". I could feel the energy swimming and singing in my veins. It. Was. The. Best. Thing. EVER.

"REALLY???" I jumped across the table, and glomped Roxas hard. Axel jumped up, away from my flying form, his smoothie held in a tight grip. "NOT MY SMOOTHIE!!"

"D-Demyx…get off…can't…breathe!!"

"Oh Oh Oh sorry Roxy!!" I flailed, my arms pin wheeling wildly as I tried to catch my balance. I had just about corrected myself when a flying hand connected with a piece of Styrofoam.

"MY SMOOTHIE! My delicious, strawberry beverage of heaven!!!!" Axels wailed in agony. "DEMYX I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!"

Roxas POV

Three hours of shopping (spending Cloud's money, of course), one smoothie incident, and a slightly charred Demyx later, I was regretting having ever come up with the idea of a shopping trip. Band-aids, a tube of aloe-vera gel, and a Large-Grande-Supersized Strawberry smoothie later, everyone had settled down from a Mt. Vesuvius vs. a flower rage to a Simmering pot of Spaghetti Sauce vs. a very wilted flower rage.

And you know what? I was loving every minute of it; even though the shopping trip was a disaster.

So far, today I had learned a few things. Here's a list:

1. My boyfriend was addicted to strawberry smoothies.

2. I was enjoying egging him on, and teasing him with the vanilla flavoured one.

3. NEVER GIVE DEMYX COFFFEE AGAIN. Seriously, he's still twitching.

4. Did I say I liked teasing Axel? Well I do. Teehee.

5. I had actually seen laughter struggling to break free from Zexion during the whole smoothie incident. In which my boyfriend and his supposed love were trying to kill each other. Well scratch that, in which my boyfriend was trying to kill the supposed love…details, details.

A being that I didn't remember how to laugh. I understood the whole "Nobody" and "Heartless" concept, Axel had explained it to me in detail. I almost fell asleep during it, but the concept was there. But according to Axel, Zexion wasn't a Nobody or Heartless, he was a human being. Of course, the three of him had super powers too (as far as I knew, Demyx and Zexion still had theirs.), so maybe they were a bit…more?…than human.

Course I was just a regular, plain old human. Blonde hair that seemed to reach towards the sky by itself, blue eyes that were described as "sorrowful and deep" in a love poem my stalker once wrote, and a body that wasn't much.

And I had a tall, sexy as hell, violently mischievous (though he hadn't pulled any pranks…yet) green eyed boyfriend, with a killer body and a voice to die for. Have I never told you about his voice? Deep, yet not too deep, husky when he's being soft, and goddess, can he sing!

Needless to say, I was feeling slightly inadequate. But that…that's better left not thought of. I don't want to have another iwanttokillmyselfcuzihateme relapse, now did I?

"Roxas. Where are they going to sleep?" Axel was standing in the doorway to my bedroom, where I had hidden myself (and, yay Christmas presents I had bought!) for the last few minutes. I was exhausted, after breaking up a flaming fight between a cowering Demyx and a certain redhead ( I bet you he's Irish.), lugging around two whole wardrobes, and then driving.

"Well you hadn't thought of that. I guess they can sleep in the living room, one on the couch and one on the floor, or in the chair." I stood up, popping my back into place as I did so. Ah, sweet relief.

"Roxas, is something wrong?" he looked down at me (why did I have to be so short?!) and I saw worry, and trepidation in his eyes. He was stepping lightly. He knew what could happen.

After all, the scars in my arm proved that, didn't they?

"No, everything is fine!" I beamed up at him, but I could tell he wasn't believing(didn't believe) it.

I had to squish these doubts I had, there was no reason to voice them. After all, I couldn't have him worry about me again. I stepped past him, into the hallway, to deliver the swift judgment of sleeping arrangements.

Never ever, would I put him through all of that again.

I walked into the living room, noticing how Zexion always kept his distance with Demyx whenever there was someone else in the room, though, when they were alone, I bet they were closer. How could I tell? Zexion was fiddling with his hair, and, after Axels bloodstains on my fabric couch refused to come out, I had gotten leather. So I could see, a fresh void in the cushion next to Demyx that was now not filled anymore.(no longer filled)

A certain blue-haired boy needed to learn, that it was okay to be close to Demyx in front of other people. Exactly how that would come to be, I haven't a clue. But, I would figure it out somehow. Not only because I wanted to see them together like their supposed to be, but also because, if I focused on their problems, I could deny mine.

Easy-peasy. No more worries. Nope, none at all.

"Hey, so Axel is going to climb up into our small attic storage space to get our blow up mattress." Axel groaned, like I knew he would, and I couldn't blame him, that storage space was a bitch. "so the two you have a choice, who gets the mattress, and who wants the couch or chair?" as I had also known, Zexion looked slightly confused.

"Zexion can have whichever is more comfortable. I don't mind, not a bit." Demyx stood up and danced over to me (that's the only word I could think of to describe the way he walks) and gave me a real tight squeeze. "Thank you much Roxy!!"

What he did next surprised me a lot, floored me really. Until Axel came, I had never seen outward signs of affection, besides the little doodles Namine would give me, and what other people did all the time, with each other. Just lately, did it seem that people showed they loved me, or liked me.

He kissed me on the cheek. Only Axel had ever kissed me, ever.

"Y-y-your wel-welcome Demyx…" I knew I was blushing bright red, and my hand involuntarily shot up to my cheek. Lucky for me, Demyx was totally oblivious and danced back to Zexion to chatter at him. Of course, I couldn't help but see Zexion staring at me, confusion on his face. I could see the question in his eyes.

"Why did he 'kiss' you, and why is your face all red?"

To be honest, I don't know.

Zexion POV

After that…intriguing…show at the 'mall', I had decided a few things. A) Axel has a strange 'obsession' with his "smoothie", B) Roxas has to deal with the other two males in the 'apartment' a lot, and C) that for some strange reason, I wanted to be close to Demyx.

So, I sat next to him on the 'couch'. not as close as we had gotten the other day…but closer than I've been to anyone else, besides Mother.

The pants that Roxas had picked out for me were very comfortable. Loose and baggy, had had called them "trip pants". Hanging off of me loosely, they had chains on them in the beginning, but I had Roxas take them off.

He had said they were actually a girl's pair, but that I was so short and skinny, they would fit and look better. I don't know if they did look good or not. Though I had noticed that Demyx was looking at me a lot… I wasn't sure if I should like that or not.

I wasn't sure what 'like' even meant. Mother was still teaching me things, through the Lexicon. I can't wait till I learn it all, because I'm tired of being empty. I want to be full.

I wanted to feel that warmth I had felt, when Roxas had hugged me the other day, and for some reason, that warmth seemed to call to me, from Demyx. Who I can't fathom, who I don't want to understand, and who I didn't really want to be near.

At least I think I didn't. I am so confused now. But thanks to Mother, and the Lexicon, which I dutifully read every waking second, I was understanding (understood) more and more; except this strange "attraction" for Demyx.

I wanted to sit next to him. I wanted to feel his warmth next to me, and feel the warmth inside of me.

So here I was, sitting on the couch, as close as I dared to be, next to Demyx. I think he may have noticed, but I don't know. Sitting there, reading my Lexicon, while he strummed on the guitar that Roxas had bought him at a "pawn shop", another something that I didn't quite understand. Only that Demyx was 'happy' and 'glomped' Roxas really hard.

'Happy'. I wasn't sure exactly what it was, or if I wanted to be it. It looked nice, yes, but for Roxas, it looked slightly painful, though…he seemed to 'like' it. And right back to that word, like. What was it? What did it mean to like someone? What did it mean that someone liked you?

I wish that I could know, someday.

Demyx POV

I sat there, strumming my guitar. Playing simple nothings, my fingers caressing the neck, a press here, a motion there, and beautiful, wonderful music came out. I had missed the music…ever since my death, and trying to fix Zexion, and then coming here, I hadn't had any. I hadn't had any of my second love, or my first.

The first being, of course my, beautiful Zexion. He was so damn pretty! Sitting here, on the couch, with his warm body slightly pressed against mine (and getting closer every little bit…was he noticing that?) all I wanted to do was reach across the tiny gap, and brush his hair aside, and kiss him.

But I couldn't do that; because he didn't remember. I don't even know if he wants to remember or not…or if he's trying to and just can't. Or maybe he does remember and doesn't care!?

All horrifying thoughts, I didn't want to think about them at all. Not one bit. Musiiiiic!!! I'll make the pretty music instead!

"Demyx…that is really 'pretty'." Zexion whispered.

I jerked, fouling up a chord. "O-oh, thank you, Z-Zexion." elated, I played with more gusto. I loved this song, I wondered if he remembered it maybe? I had written it for him, after all.

"You're welcome Demyx. I just read about 'pretty' and wanted to use it." He turned to face me. "According to the entry on 'pretty' I think you might classify as 'pretty' too, in the human standard, anyway. See?" he pointed to a block of words that I couldn't read. "It says that your pretty. I don't know for sure if you are or not, but if the Lexicon does, then I guess so." he returned to his reading.

HAPPYHAPPYHAPPY!!!!!! The music tone changed and became more cheerful, a quick happy tune that I had written when he said he loved me the first time.

He called me pretty.

He just said I was pretty.

He said that the book said-

Oh…

SADSADSADSADSAD…

He doesn't think I'm pretty. The book told him I was. But he doesn't think so.

My cheerful happy song changed into a melancholy riff that I had written when he had died; a funeral march. I couldn't help it…when the music was going I had to play what my feelings were. It was just me, the way I was.

Without thinking about it, my song changed to one of Roxas' songs, that I had heard Axel singing to him in the car. He said it was called Your Guardian Angel…and it was one of the prettiest, most heartfelt songs I had heard in a long time. I wish I knew the words…Roxas promised he would let me listen to all of his music later, which I was looking forward to, if he listened to songs like that.

I couldn't remember the words, but the basic melody was there in my head, so I played it; sad and sweet, just right for my mood.

"Roxas, is something wrong?" I heard Axel's voice from the hallway, and Zexion, hearing it too, jumped up fast as a bolt of lightning and flew almost, to the chair across from me.

"No, everything is great!" Roxas too cheery reply echoed towards us as they walked into the living room. "Hey, so Axel is going to climb up into our small attic storage space to get our blow up mattress."

Axel groaned, and I could hear him mutter something that rhymed with "ducking glass of a ducking attic area." I snickered silently…old Axel would say something along the lines of:

"Screw you, you do it." Or he would have bent Roxas over a table for being commanding.

"Zexion can have whichever is the most comfortable, I don't mind, not a bit." I spoke up, and I blushed a tiny bit when Zexion looked at me. Gah, such a freaking schoolgirl, aren't I? I stood up, and walked happily over to Roxas, and gave him a big bear hug. "Thank you much Roxy!!"

"Y-y-your wel-welcome Demyx…"

I pecked him on the cheek, and danced back over to Zexion, and started talking excitedly. I loved to sleep, double triple quadruple loved it because then my moogle plushie could come out of its hiding place and I could snuggle with it-

Oh. My. Goddess.

I didn't have my moogle plushie!!!

Zexion's POV

'Sleep'. This would be, the first time I would experience it. I had never needed to sleep in Mother's Realm, because it wasn't needed there. But now…I could feel the pull and lull of sleep, yanking unceremoniously at my mind. Desperate for attention, it was. Like Demyx…

Who was on the floor, on a lumpy, lopsided air mattress (that annoying redhead decided it was too much effort to blow it up all the way) muttering.

He was ruining my first sleep experience.

"Would you kindly stop that?" I asked flatly. I know I should have sounded irritated, but I hadn't yet learned to put emotion into my voice, besides anger and sarcasm

"Y-yes…I-I'll try, sorry, Zexion…" I heard a silent sob come out of the darkness, from the location of the mattress. Crying, not muttering.

"Demyx, are you crying." not a question, a statement.

"Y-y-yes." a louder sob.

Of its own accord, my arm shot forward, and gently, my hand lay on his shoulder. I don't know why it did…why should it? I don't even like him. I don't think, since I had yet to learn what 'like' meant.

"Thank you, Zexion…"

"Why are you crying?" I asked. Again…I didn't know what I was doing! It's like it all moved of its own machinations…like I had no control over myself.

"I-I'm scared of the d-d-dark…stupid, huh?" he shuddered below my hand, and my other hand fought to join it. I prevailed, though. Sweet victory over my puppet string self.

"Why?"

"I-I don't have my m-m-moogle plushie…and it kept me company…and made me feel safe. And I m-miss it!!" he all but wailed. "A-And since you don't remember I'm all alone! I can't…even…hold…the one…that I love more than anything!!" he gasped slightly, knowing he had gone too far.

Well he had. I was feeling sadness and anger now.

"What is love, Demyx? You keep saying 'I love you!', and 'We were in love.'." I paused. Was I hurting him, being like this? Being empty? "But Demyx…I don't know what love is! I can't, I can't love because I don't know (how)."

I heard his silent, soft sobbing. But I couldn't do anything about it. I was empty, and he was full. I removed my hand, and a louder sob hitched its way through the darkness.

I turned over, my back to his unseen form. "Good night, Demyx."

Axel POV

"When I see your smile…tears run down my face I can't replace. And now that I'm strong I have figured out, how this world turns cold and it breaks through my soul and I know, I'll find, deep inside me, I can be the one.

I will never let you fall. I'll stand up for you forever. I'll be there for you, through it all. Even if saving you sends me to heaven." I sang softly to the silent Roxas, my hands slowly combing through his spiky hair. I for one loved it, though he seemed to have a problem with it.

I don't know why. I'd kill to have my naturally straight, red hair stick up all the time. The gel and stuff was really being a bitch on it.

"Axel?"

"Yes, love?" I bent down, and kissed him on the forehead. So soft…so sweet and fragile my Roxas.

"Are you…are you my guardian angel? I-I mean I want you to be…but are you?" he shifted slightly, and his cerulean blue eyes met my acid green ones.

"Of course, love. Why do you need to ask?" I paused, and kissed his nose. "I saved you from death…how many times, three? When you cut, when you were sick, and then when you tried to die."

He looked down, a tear showing in his left eye. I caught it on my finger, and quickly flicked it away. "I'm sorry…"

"Roxas…" I kissed him that time, really kissed him. Deep and soft, I nibbled slightly on his lower lip, my tongue probing against his top one, begging entrance.

He didn't grant it. Silvery salt invaded our kiss. He was crying.

"Don't cry about it. Never feel ashamed that I love you, Roxas."

"I'm not ashamed of you, I never could be." he whispered. "I'm sorry, I guess I'm just feeling a bit under the weather today, just forget about it." He leaned forward, and kissed me silently, then, rolling off of my chest, turned the light off.

"G'night Axel." he turned onto his side, back pressed firmly against me.

"Night love…"

(1) Demyx's instrument names are all musical terms, and you can figure out what they mean by what he says about the instrument, whether he plays it soft, sad, or fast and cheerful.

AN

Ha. So that's the end of chapter whatever this is (I lost count). Anyway, if all goes well, next chapter in another few weeks! I'm working on Darkside, and then my 2 oneshots about Aerith and Zack; Cloud and Leon. And can I say one thing?

It's good to be back.