Ch.3 First Love.
We got ready and, I looked great but the only thing wrong like always was my light pathtic pale skin.
I lived in Pheonix for almost my whole life and never got a tan, but it was worth a try to get one now I would at least try.
I had my towel and Jacob had his, he looked so,so big if I did't know him I would probably mistake him for a twenty year old or twenty-three year old.
"What?" he asked me with a confused look on his face.
"Nothing, it's just you look so different now than when you did three years ago."
"How?" he said confused.
"I don't know,I guess it's just me."
"Yeah I guess it is just you." he said smiling.
"Why are smiling?"I said trying to decode his smile.
"Because I'm going to do this!!" he said laughing lifting me up in his big,warm arms.
I started laughing and he carred me into the elavator,then to the pool and before he put me down I gave him the biggest kiss I had ever given him.
An neither me or him could stop it was just so beautifull and passionate but we stoped when people started looking, not that we cared but it got annoying.
"I love you Jacob."
"I love you too honey."
We got to the pool but I just sat down on a chair.
"Are you going to come in or what?" he asked
"In a little hold on." I said
"Well i'm going in,what are you going to be doing ?" he asked curiosly
"Nothing,just listening to music and reading " I lied
I didn't want to lie to Jacob but I had to, he hates seeing me write in my journal .
Not that he knew what I wrote about but it's like I had a feeling he knew .
I wrote about Edward every time I missed him in the journal and listened to Need by Hana Pestle and I occasonaly I cryed
But I useually wrote at night, but ever since I got here I can't help but to think of Edward.
It's like he's with me right here more thanever.
Saturday, September 14 , 2008
I miss you so much,but I've moved on now I love you but I have a new love now Jacob.
Love, real love seems so long ago it almost seems unreal but I have just have love with him now,but not the way I was in love with you.
Why did you leave me ? I love you & being here without you is not the way I pictured being here.
Today is exactly three years since you left me. And that question,has yet to be answered , why?
Why I say to myself every night, why?
I'm here with a love I had never dreamed of it's new to me ,I dont know if you have found a new love but I have.
But you will always be my first love,my love till I die I will always have a place for you in my heart.
You're first love,Bella Swan
It was a good thing I had my sunglasses on I cryed untill Jacob looked at me,when he did I just smiled and waved he barely noticed.
When my eyes were dry I went to the steps of the pool where Jacob was standing his back was facing me.
I hugged his back then put my arms around his neck he grabed my arms and kissed my hands.
When he turned around to meet my eyes he had a dissapointed look on his face.
"What's wrong?" I asked him confused.
"I saw you writing in your journal ." he said looking down at the water.
"No I wasn't." I lied.
"Don't lie to me Bella ,I saw you ." he said in the lowest tone of voice I've ever heard him in.
"I'm sorry Jacob , I know you hate me writing in my journal and I'm sorry for liying to you ."
"I never told you why I hate you writing in that journal ,did I ?"
"No you never did ."
"Becuase every time I see you writing in it ,I see you crying and I never want to see you cry, you got that?"
"Oh Jacob ." I said crying and I hugged him.
"You were worried about me this whole time ."I said barely able to speak.
"Of corse I was worried about you babe why else did you think I got mad ?"
"I don't know?" I lied wiping away the tears from my face.
"I love you Bella and seeing look like your crying your heart out isn't the way I want to see you."
"I know i'm sorry I really am,how about you dry off and I'll go up stairs and put my journal at the very,very bottom of my suite case,okay???"
"Sounds about right?"
"What do you mean about right?"
"It's just that well that I wanted to take a shower."
"Oh okay then you do that mean while I change."
"No Bella I meant I wanted to take a shower with you.'
"Oh!" I said having nothing else to say but that.
"I can tell by the look of your face Bella you dont want to." he said looking so sad
"No,no,no it's just you took me by surprise,thats all."
"Bella dont lie I know you like the back of my hand."
"No I want to really."
We walked to our room and he opened the door and I thought he was going to sweep me off my feet but insted he said "Someones been in here!"
"Um the maid?"
"No a ...." he paused
"A what ?" I said half scared."
"A vampire."