Total Failure
The evil council of doom reaches north pole and they're looking for santa claus. Still, they 're going around circles and they haven't found him. Marik is furious about Zorc's gps.
Marik : What the hell is going on with your gps Zorc? We should have found that fat man by now!
Bakura : We should have found if even by looking with naked eye!
Weevil : How are you supposed to see with those silly costumes you wear? Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Rex : Look who's talking, the boy with the four eyes!
Weevil : Shut up you filthy lizard. You're the reason dinosaurs ceased to exist by seeing your ugly face!
Marik : Silence stupid servants or I'll have Odion take care of you!
Bakura : Let me send them to the Shadow Realm ! I had enough of those two kiddos. They're so awful even Pegasus doesn't f*ck them!
Marik : Stop being out of character Bakura. Everyone knows you're not so bitchy!
Bakura : You could try me, you know. Everyone knows you like reindeer in secret Mrs Santa Claus!
Marik : Anyway, I want Zorc to answer me why this stupid gps doesn't work!
Zorc : Because I have destroyed the world, there's nothing to be shown! Muaha hahahahahaha!
Bakura : Hmmm...I think it needs some batteries. Let's check those rooms.
Meanwhile...
Pegasus has taken both Mokuba and Rebecca in a room and both kids sit at his knees.
Pegasus : My sweet kids, do you know why does Santa live on north pole?
Rebecca : Because he's so fat he needs a whole continent!
Pegasus : What about you small Kaiba boy?
Mokuba : Well...stories tell he's got a toy factory, almost like my brother...
Marik enters the room with Bakura.
Marik : But he doesn't pay taxes like your stupid brother, ha ha ha ha!
By the way, I have warned you not to screw him, Pegasus!
Mokuba : What is the definition of the word screwing?
Bakura : What Marik does when he puts his millenium rod in his butt!
Pegasus : Ohhh that's lovely! I want that rod, too, it may be a good substitute of big Kaiba boy!
Marik : Shit, I want some batteries, have you found any of them inside this room?
Pegasus : Well well, I don't know about that. With those kids my Christmas edition vibrator depicting the Santa Claus is of no use to me!
Marik : WHAT DID YOU SAY?
Pegasus : Do you want me to borrow that to you? Sorry, I have sold it to someone so stupid he thought it was a gps!
Bakura and Marik : ZORC!!
Bakura : Wait! You hadn't told us anything when Marik took it in his hands.
Pegasus : Why should I? Zorc is a stupid jackass who thinks Santa Claus exists!! I put him the idea of ruining Christmas! It was a lovely plan to get closer to Seto Kaiba, since it was obvious we had to steal him! And small Kaiba boy came as a lottery to us, Kaiba boy will be so angry he will f*ck me in the end! That's just perfect!
Zorc : I have an idea then. Let's f**k the world!!
Marik farts Zorc, showing his full indifference towards him. The council is more concerned about Santas non existence info.
Bakura : All in all, you mean neither Santa Claus nor Santa Bill exists, you slave! And who brings the presents to the kids?
Pegasus : The parents of the kids you silly cute boy!
Mokuba and Rebecca are sobbing for learning such a horrible truth :
Pegasus: Don't cry my sweet kids, papa is here to comfort you! Just look at the bird and smile...!!
Pegasus unties his pants. Mokuba looks curiously at Pegasus pe**s.
Mokuba : Is that a bird? It's so small I can't see it!
Pegasus: *sigh* I was afraid you might say that. Tell me my boy, does your brother have a bigger one? You know what they say about tall guys...!!
Marik gets so furious he starts shouting at Pegasus :
Marik : You pathetic asshole with all your psychotic obsessions go and f*ck you!! You tricked all of us! No Santas, and we are in trouble by kidnapping Mokuba and having stolen Kaiba's checkbook and aircraft!
Meanwhile, another aircraft shaped like a blue eyes blue dragon (yes a blue eyes BLUE dragon, where the hell is the white on it?????) has approached the aircraft of Marik and his council. Seto Kaiba tranfers a message to the central cockpit of the aircraft.
Seto : Ha ha ha ha ha! You inferior beings! You thought you could get all the fun by kidnapping my brother but guess what-only me, Seto Kaiba has the right to that filthy kid! He's all mine to hit and beat and punch and kick and whatever I want!
Marik : The hell with your brother! He asked us to kidnap him because he's sick and tired of your behavior!
Mokuba : No! I love my brother, I am so happy to know that he came after me! Seto, get me back and hit and beat me and punch and kick me with all your brotherly love!!
Seto : I'll get you back my bro, after I f**k all those people, and f**k you as well for leaving my side!!
Bakura : Mokuba's such a masochist it gives me the creeps.
Pegasus : Hey Kaiba boy! F*ck me all you want!! This is the happiest day of my whole life!!
¬The End¬
Author : Heyyyyyyyyy! Set me free someone!! No more splatter movies pleeeeaaaaaaaseeeeeeeee!
Leona : OK, let's switch it to p*rn! Oh shit, I am beginning to speak like my uncle! xD
Author: You shall pay for that! Someone send me back!!
Bakura : OK, you are spared in one condition. DON'T MAKE US LOOK LIKE SILLY FOOLS!
Author : Ok. I promise to make you look sillier in the future!
That was all! Sorry it took me so long to finish it but I didn't have time at all! Be sure you will have more oneshots from me in the future! And thanks all of you who like my parodies. I am happy to know that I can make you laugh! xD