He gave me his ring on a chain the last day I spoke to him. The same day it happened. He kissed me for the last time and told me I would always be the one for him, not like a breakup though, he said he just thought I should have it for now. I didn't know what he meant when he said it, but I think I do know. Nick Gray, was his name. He was a piece of me, he was my boyfriend, but more. He didn't want anyone but me and I didn't want anyone but him. He's gone. I have lost myself, completely lost. He was graduating in a month, we were. This was too soon. I wish I could at least cry with his mother or comfort his little brother, but I cannot. They are all gone. They were a second family to me. The Gray's died in a house fire. I've done nothing with myself since. I lay under every bed cover possible curled up like a ball in pillows. I am hungry, but too upset to eat or show my face to anyone in my house. When I am not crying, I am sleeping, dreaming. My dreams are the only thing I have look forward to. They are always about Nick since he has died. We had been together since the summer going into eleventh grade. Almost two years and no more. We do not have any more time. Sometimes in all seriousness Nick would tell me that we were meant for each other, that he wanted me and only me for the rest of his life. He was not like most boys in high school. He treated me right, he would even admit when he was wrong. Our little fights never lasted because he would always make sure they were quickly over with just so he could hold me again. He loved making dinner for me, he was a really good cook. I always tried to help him but he said he wanted to make it special, just for me. He is dead. End of him. No more. Deceased. I don't know if I will ever be the same. This is something I will never get over, but I know my step mother will make me. She never really liked him. She never really liked me though either.
"MILEY!", my step mother stomped in through the darkness of my room and ripped off every sheet that covered me.
I groaned and covered my eyes.
"it's been days since the funeral, get out of your room!", she yelled.
"and I will never get over him, i love him!", I began crying my heart out.
"UGH!", she stomped out of my room immaturely slamming my door shut.
I then decided to go see him, at the cemetary. They did not have a wake, just a burial. I couldn't speak the whole time, I couldn't thank the people that said they were sorry for me. I just couldn't deal with any of it. I didn't want to talk to anyone. I dragged myself out of my bed, feet first, head last. I slipped on a pare of jeans, my sweatshirt, and soft boots. I combed out my hair, grabbed my car keys, and headed to the cemetary. I parked on a side of the dirt road and then turned the car off, I left the keys on the driver's seat then walked into the small cemetary. I put my hood up and walked to his grave with my hand in my pockets.
The moment I saw his grave, I stood there. Time passed and I just stood there. As soon as the silence got to me I laid myself directly above his grave, holding my hands to my sides tightening my grip on the grass, no matter how deep my reach was I couldn't ever hold his hands again.
I had realized moments later that I had ripped the new grass out of its place. I immediately sat up and curled next to his tombstone and watched my index finger trace over the name "Nicholas Gray". As cold as I already was, the granite of his tombstone I huddled against drove freezing chills on my side. Each chill shot images of Nick through my mind. Us. Every perfect moment. At a dramatic halt the flashbacks stopped and few tears escaped my eyes. I was too careless to wipe them away. I slowly uncurled myself and let my legs lie straight. My eyelids became heavier. They eventually closed shut and I drifted off into a dream.
I woke standing at a church alter. In front of me was Nick. He grabbed my hands and kissed me. A preacher blessed us then we were suddenly walking down the isle. Right before I woke, Nick told me that he would save me. Then it was over. I looked down at my pocket as it was moving. I stuck my hand in my pocket and stared at the phone as it notified me of 2 missed calls and 1 voicemail. It was my stepmother. I immediately wiped my hair which was sticking to my sweaty forehead and called her.
"where are you!?", she instantly screeched.
"I went out to visit someone", i spoke softly.
"oh, nice to know you are talking to friends again then", she said in a relieved tone.
"uh. I guess so. I am going to stay out for a little bit", I notified her.
"No problem, just do not do anything regretful", in a cheerful tone.
"sure. bye" I said and quickly closed the phone.
I stood up and was startled by a strange boy. He was wearing casual jeans and black sweatshirt with his hood up enough that I couldn't see his face. I glanced at him and he immediately walked behind a big oak tree. As my curiosity ached, I began to head to the tree.
"Hello?", I spoke.
No answer.
I walked to the other side of the tree and there was no one there. I wanted to easily think it may have been just my imagination, but I knew deep down that boy was there and I wanted to know who he was. I yearned to know who he was, but the death of the boy I loved seemed like enough to settle with for now.