Pillars of Sanctuary, a KougaxMuramasa fic
Disclaimer: Bleach is not mine.
Warnings: Nothing explicit – implied previous sex scenes, light yaoi, light het. Since this is the friendship/light romance side, it is comfortably T. There is some angst/conflict later here.
AN: Italics are past scenes/quotes or thoughts. The story should give enough context as to when it's one or the other.
I appreciate all of your alerts, comments, and the reviews I've received both publicly and privately. I'm encouraged to write more of this series
Storytime.
He didn't blame her for being angry. If he could place himself in her shoes for a moment, he imagined that he would feel upset too. Yet he was not in her shoes. He was Muramasa, the zanpaktou spirit that was completely owned by Kuchiki Kouga. He had lent his power to the young man a long time ago, and it was obvious that there was no turning back. So when he was summoned, he left the Spanish spirit hanging high and dry -- almost literally, until he remembered to cut her down from those bindings.
He had appeared in her inner world with a cluster of white wildflowers, with a few other colors hidden within them. Rosen Saira was a temperamental spirit and while he knew he was in for a tongue lashing, he hoped she would eventually understand.
They were so different -- he completely thought of his master day and night, thinking of ways to help him become stronger in every way. The princess on the other hand seemed to only think about herself and her desires. She spoke rarely of the shinigami she was controlled by, and when he spoke politely of her mistress she gave a snort of disdain.
"Not all of us are in love with our shinigami like you, Mura-chan."
He remembered her mocking, teasing tones and the bright flicker of fire in those dark brown eyes. He closed his eyes for a moment, the purple flare of his reiatsu signaling he was here in this forsaken valley yet again.
She appeared behind him, her blade at his back. She snarled softly, letting him feel every wave of frustration and irritation she had.
He simply turned, watching her with a calm eye. He held the flowers out to her, making sure to keep the other colors hidden.
"Why should I even accept those from you? Shouldn't you be giving flowers to your first love, Muramasa?" The way the words fell from her lips like ice, he almost missed his more familiar nickname, as irritating as it was.
"You knew the terms when I first came here. It is not my concern that you now wish to change them." he replied, still keeping the flowers held out to her.
"You're …gods, you're so infuriating." She paused, studying the flowers carefully. "You're hiding something else in there. I can tell." She sounded curious, her voice growing softer and a little more excited.
She carefully took the flowers from him, and scattered them on the ground to see what was hiding within. As her eyes watched the cascade of color, she took in a sharp gasp.
The outer ring of white flowers gave way to a beautiful cluster of pale pinks, lilacs, lavenders, and deep blues. She translated their code quickly as she watched each color fall to the ground. She started with the deep blues, the apology that her stoic and serious friend could not utter in words. She continued upward to the lilacs, which indicated that he did feel some sort of passion for her, even if it was not as deep as hers. The lavender was a peaceful accent to the apology, with hope that she would accept.
The pale pink stopped her in her tracks. He was saying to her in the language of flowers and ritual that he cared. It would never be as deeply as he cared for the green eyed shinigami, but the whispering, controlling man cared for her and wanted to make things right.
She mused on how much courage it took him to come back here after he disappeared so quickly, cutting her down and cleaning his hands almost as an afterthought.
His deep voice broke through her thoughts, the words curling around her like fine smoke. "I won't apologize for answering my master's call. I will apologize though, for the pain I caused before."
Saira raised an eyebrow to watch him carefully. "Before? You mean when you used your power to hold me in place, and then turned my inner world against me? Is that the before you mean?"
Muramasa winced visibly. "You pushed me. Are you displeased with the outcome."
She moved closer to him, brushing his hair back with her hand. "Far from it. If anything, I'm frustrated…we had to stop."
He smiled slightly, nodding. "It was a necessary though. You know that."
They were sitting in the grass, on a blanket to protect their clothes more than anything else. Saira was a big fan of the long white coat with the purple accents that Muramasa was always in. He noticed that her clothes changed from time to time, and wondered if it was simply a whim or something more.
She leaned against him quietly. "I am concerned for you and your Kouga, Muramasa. They are…"
He held up a clawed hand. "I know. I can see the events of his outer world. When he is troubled…my world changes."
Thoughts of water rising and crashing over pillars, drowning him filled him with a slight fear. "I feel like there's something off with him. I'm trying to keep him happy."
There was a slight underlying meaning to the words that made Saira smirk. "Putting your skills to good use? Misoka-chan would be proud."
He remembered the curly-haired spirit that belonged to another shinigami Kouga had been training with at the time. He had first explored these odd sensations and emotions with her, given that she was the better player at them. Once he had learned more about the world of the zanpaktou, he had ended up parting ways from her. It was something he felt was necessary at the time, yet he found himself wondering if he could go back to her someday.
"You live to tease me, Saira." The reply was delivered in an equally teasing manner, as his arm wrapped around her tightly.
She savored the feeling and sighed. "I wish sometimes there was room in your heart for more than one person. You will never feel any love for anyone but Kouga."
"Is that what you would call this?"
The question was asked in all seriousness, though Saira almost wondered if he was taunting her. "Yes. You love him. I cannot believe that such a thing would not be clear to you. That's why I am so concerned for you. Given enough time, I think he'll realize he loves you too."
"That is not possible." Muramasa sounded stern, his eyes studying the woman he held close to him. He continued, sweeping his nails lightly over her cheek and neck. "He does not see me that way. I am a tool for him to carry out his mission as a shinigami and an outlet for his frustration. Nothing more."
Saira's laughter at those words began to fill him with a sharp anger until she clapped her hands together. "I laugh only because it sounds so absurd. He comes into his inner world looking for you as his sanctuary, my dear. That is not a man who only sees you as a tool. You really need more friends, Mura-chan."
Ah, that nickname was going to be the death of him.
She went quiet for a moment and he felt her energy shift into a more serious form. "Speaking of your master, where is he? Won't you have to go soon?"
He nodded. "He is off to see Kuchiki Ginrei. I wanted to give them privacy." Saira caught the undercurrent of disgust in Muramasa's voice at the mention of the leader of the Kuchiki family. She had heard the backstory on that several times, and each time left her with a clear picture of the rage that lay hidden in Muramasa's heart. More reason why she worried -- one day that rage would break open and then…
No, she would do what she could to comfort him. Even if that led back to that crippling helplessness, that invisible wave holding her in place while sky blue eyes glowed with a chilling determination that terrified and excited her at the same time.
She snuggled closer to him and nodded. "I see. What are you going to do now?"
He smiled for her, admiring the woman's courage. He spent most of his time plotting and calculating, much like Kuchiki Kouga. So he knew that this woman was aware of the full range of emotions he carried. There was a fear of hers that had manifested from the other day. He wanted to address that before anything else.
He brought white wildflowers to fall on her beautiful tanned skin, studying the bright flowers against the dark reds and blues of her robes. He continued to hold her tight, making sure his long nails didn't scratch her in the process. "Well, there's a certain friend of mine that needs me right now. Barring being summoned, I think it might be a good moment to cycle through these flowers, hmm? If you've accepted this one, perhaps we can explore the next one after that." His free hand pointed at the deep blue cluster first before lightly gesturing towards the light purple cluster.
Saira looked up at him, really stared into those mysterious eyes of his. "You exist with the power to completely control other zanpaktou. Yet…you seem to express regret over that."
He shrugged. "Regret? I shouldn't have used my power to hold you in place like that without telling you. You were filled with a fear that I did not want."
A fear that he did not want? Chills crept up her spine at how those words could be taken. There was the surface meaning -- a reminder that he could do anything once he controlled another spirit. Yet the underlying meaning that curled around her and enticed her was more seductive: he could place any feeling into anything he desired. That type of subtle power was enticing, had a scent that filled her nostrils everytime she heard the sound of those pointed boots rustling around in this wide valley.
She gave him a bright smile and just rested against him, bringing up a cluster of white wildflowers that had intertwined with the deep blue ones just offered moments before. She laid them in her lap and placed their hands there. "Let's start with these white ones. Right now, I think that would be the best for both of us."
For once, Muramasa was able to relax. He had the power to invade the inner worlds of zanpaktou, but he realized that the dark eyed woman in his arms was demonstrating her power to invade hearts with remarkably accuracy. Yes, they would start with calmness and friendship. If she could help him protect Kouga, then he would take care of her too.
No one had asked him about his night, and after the time he had with Muramasa, he was rather glad for that. It would have been hard to explain why he felt so electric and alive again. It was freedom without truly being free, but years of dealing with his new noble relatives had taught him to take freedom -- even little broken shards of it -- wherever he could.
"Fall off the cliff with me, Kouga…"
He shivered, remembering the way that deep voice had murmured over his entire body with so much passion, devotion, and care. When did Muramasa start feeling so strongly for him?
He made his way to the Sixth Division, thinking back to the first time he heard Muramasa's voice. He was still just a boy, but he had heard that whisper so clearly.
What will you do with power, Kouga? Can you control it if you have it?
He thought he had been dreaming of it until he began to see it everywhere -- the shadow of two sky blue eyes watching him. It was a stare that seemed to bore into his soul. He had lashed out, trying to figure out who was taunting him. This seemed to please the spirit at the time.
So much fire, young one. When you learn my name, we will speak again.
It took him forever to hear it - to know the name of his zanpaktou. He was meditating one day and fell into a slow, deep rhythm, his breathing perfectly controlled. His stillness took him to a battlefield that was not his, to the sound of swords clashing, almost crying out for bloodshed. It startled him, but he did not back away from the vision.
That's when he heard the name ghost over his mind's ear, curling around him like it had been there all along.
Muramasa.
The release command came as a guess -- once he called the spirit by name, he tried to figure out how to unlock the power that felt so close to him and yet so far away. He learned from Nakamura-sensei that one could get the answers to many things by simply looking at past actions, statements, and gestures.
The fact that this spirit of his decided to whisper to him all the time made him eventually figure it out. The joy he had of pointing his zanpaktou at the ground and calling Muramasa's power into the blade for the first time was amazing.
Whisper, Muramasa. The then-unfamiliar purple light had filled the blade from top to bottom, vibrating softly in his hand.
I knew you would figure it out eventually. Well done…Kouga.
He found his way in the present to the Sixth Division Captain's office, knocking gently at the door.
The gruff voice from inside commanded him to enter, and he followed through with the command, entering the room on his knees. "Good morning, Ginrei-dono."
"Kouga."
He was glad the older man's back was to him; otherwise he would have seen Kouga flinch. He could offer his son-in-law the precious kenseikan that was looped through his hair, could present his daughter as a worthy bride, even open up the large manor for their living quarters. Yet the one thing he desired -- acceptance…ah, that he could not give Kouga at all. He had to hope and pray for mere scraps of recognition thrown from the table of a man who never seemed to care at all.
"I was told to come see you; your daughter said you had an important message for me." He said all of this in a rush, remembering the envelope that was left for him when he opened the tiny mailbox next to the doorstep of that solitary set of rooms he occupied when he needed to think.
"Indeed. Kouga…I have been informed by the soutaichou that you will be sent to Hueco Mundo for a long term assignment." Ginrei did not change from his normal serious voice, or give any hint that he would miss his son-in-law. Such feelings were not expected from the man, so Kouga did not hurt too much when he did not feel anything returned.
"Hueco Mundo, Ginrei-dono? But…why?" he asked, truly shocked. He had just finished a major mission to wipe out insurgents both in Sereitei and in Rukongai where the rebels were hiding. He had been filled up to the brim with compliments, commendations, and accolades for his efforts. Why was he being hidden away like a child in timeout?
"It isn't obvious to you, Kouga? Tsch." The sound of disdain was deafening. Ginrei's icy words were covering Kouga from head to toe and it was beginning to make the room spin.
The older man continued his lecture without missing a beat. "The higher-ups are well aware of your power, Kouga. It is like nothing else in Sereitei. It is either they put you away for a while, or they will have to resort to other methods."
"Did you say anything to the soutaichou?" A hopeful question, with apple green eyes daring to hope, to dream that his father-in-law did remember they were still family.
"I suggested it. You are still a Kuchiki, you know. I did not want them to imprison you here -- that would bring too much shame to our family name."
The easy, effortless way those words were said filled Kouga with rage. He held it in, his eyebrow twitching. His fists clenched but he did not rise from his position on the floor. His own father-in-law, throwing him aside like trash.
"How long do I have?" As if hope could be squelched in one question -- not a chance with the young shinigami. His second question sounded just as hopeful as the first.
"Two days. I will escort you to the portal myself. It is only proper. Pack lightly but take whatever you like. You will not be back for a while, ten years."
Ten years.
He shivered but tried not to show it. There was no point in arguing. There was no point in pleading. There was no point in asking why, or even asking for forgiveness for unknown crimes.
"I see. If you would excuse me…Ginrei-dono. I need to collect my thoughts and also make time to speak to my wife."
When the older man made no attempt to stop him, Kouga stood up, bowed once, and then left the room slowly, waiting until he was out of sight before letting shunpo carry him away quickly.
The world of pain greeted him as he hopped from building to building, heading for the forest around Sereitei. It was quiet there, and he could process everything going on.
It didn't take him long as he came to it. He needed to think, to meditate for a moment. Maybe several moments.
He immediately knelt down on that thin little lip of rock, trying to keep his emotions in check. He wouldn't cry - no that was out of the question. He knew in his heart that they were turning against him, that this might as well have been a death sentence. Ten years was long enough to get lost in Hueco Mundo, long enough for a Hollow or something to end his life so Soul Society wouldn't have to have his blood on their hands.
He unsheathed his zanpaktou, looking at the cold steel with wonder. Was it really just him and Muramasa against everyone? Could he really trust Muramasa to help him get stronger and be able to protect himself against them?
"Fall with me, Kouga."
"Follow your instincts. "
"I'll teach you how to whisper."
"I'll never reject you, Kouga. Never. "
He balanced the sword carefully on its tip, holding it steady as he calmed himself, practicing the same relaxation techniques that had gotten him to this point.
Help me, Muramasa. Help me understand.
White wildflowers had begun to slowly transform into light purple ones that coaxed them to a desire, a passion that was slowly building between them. Saira was still laying in Muramasa's arms, letting him drag his nails through her dark, curly ringlets. She enjoyed the way his chest rose and fell, the way he seemed so calm.
Why do you place so much stress on yourself for your shinigami's sake? What do you possibly get out of the deal?
His voice had a way of weaving around and through her thoughts. She didn't realize she had murmured the last question out into the air, and she heard Muramasa's quiet sigh from behind her. "I get a man I can be loyal to for the rest of my life - fulfillment, I guess is the word for it. I know you don't understand."
"I'd…like to."
Her voice wavered, and Muramasa paused to listen. Saira didn't like talking about her shinigami the way he did, didn't care to admit that the inner world she loved so much was also the dominion of someone else who could change it.
She continued softly, her voice barely audible in the greater valley around them. "I…I love the way you sound when you talk about your shinigami. I love the pride you have for him, the way you truly will do anything to protect him. Tell me, has he reached bankai?"
Muramasa hummed, lightly scratching her arm with a wandering fingernail. "Not yet. However, shikai suits him right now."
A wave of dread washed over Saira for a moment and she went still. "Muramasa, I am concerned for your shinigami. I have heard…I have heard the mistress speaking to someone close to the soutaichou. I fear that your Kouga is in great danger of being separated from you."
Muramasa pulled her head back slightly, the touch gentle even though a mix of fear and frustration began to seep out of him. "Separated from me? That can't be - they can't fear him that much!"
Saira rolled out of his grasp and onto her feet, stretching for a moment. She helped Muramasa to his feet and sighed. "It's not just Kouga they fear, Mura-chan. They're afraid of you. Of what you can do."
Muramasa flexed his clawed fingers back and forth, trying not to channel his temper into the other spirit. He needed to be calm to face Kouga.
I cannot lose you. I cannot lose you. I cannot lose you.
"I do not know what to say to that."
"You can invade the inner world of the zanpaktou. You can…influence us, pull us away from our shinigami, kneel at your feet and even rejoice in doing so. Soul Society will never accept that. You know this."
"Where will he go then?"
"The rumor that I heard was he is to be sent to Hueco Mundo for ten years."
Ten years.
Muramasa clenched his teeth together, hot rage making the purple edge of his reiatsu clearly visible. Saira didn't back down; a move that surprised him. He sighed and tried to think rationally, forming a mental chessboard of what needed to be done next.
"What can I do?"
Saira toyed with a few wildflowers. "We can start with two key things. First, you must take this time to help Kouga try to achieve bankai. I may not understand your bond to your shinigami, but I know this: he is strong. He can reach bankai. Second, to protect him in case they separate you…you must begin to build a sanctuary. You must build a place in the inner world you share for him to go if the worst happens. It will allow him to wait for you to create a solution."
Saira was known for her trickery -- the rose princess had agendas of her own that Muramasa didn't always care for.
He decided to get to the point of the matter. "How can I trust you, Rosen Saira?"
She smiled and placed a light kiss to his eyelids, then his lips. She broke off the kiss before he could respond. "I have not shown you my full power. I am also going to be getting my mistress to begin to train for bankai. It will take her longer than your Kouga, but she can do it. We will help. But you must go."
Muramasa felt lost, confused, and very afraid. He watched Saira toy with the flowers and he sighed. "This was supposed to be time spent with you, Saira. I am sorry I have failed again."
The next kiss was much more intense, with Muramasa being pulled against the strange, mysterious woman. Desire radiated from her and crashed against him. She reluctantly broke off the kiss. "You haven't failed. I just failed to accept that your focus has to be on your shinigami. There's no sense in wishing for something that won't come true."
He held her tightly, and sighed. "I will try to come back when I can. When we go to Hueco Mundo…it will be too dangerous for me to come here. In the Sereitei, it's different…I…"
She shushed him. "I know what the trip to Hueco Mundo means. I know what it means for us. I know what it means for your Kouga. There is not a happy ending right now for any party involved, but if we work together, there might just be a small one. I will need you to trust me though."
She held up the coin on a string and shut her eyes. "These rings that tie and bind hold us // their circles a sign of trust // to connect what cannot be mended otherwise // my right hand is the finder, and my left hand is the seeker."
He didn't recognize the incantation, but a dark red wave rose from Saira, flowing from her and wrapping around his left hand. The coin in her hand glowed and she opened her eyes slowly, carefully after a few moments.
"You'll be able to reach out for me. I'll be able to send you any news I pick up. I have a few spirits that may be useful later. You must go, Muramasa. Your shinigami is so distressed that even I can hear him beginning to call for you."
Her words made him more afraid. He waved and faded away quickly, causing a strong wind to pick up.
Saira perched on a rock, looking down at the white wildflowers. Kouga would need friendship and sanctuary in order to move forward. She prayed that Muramasa would understand what was needed.
Help me, Muramasa. Help me understand.
Kouga opened his eyes and found Muramasa kneeling next to him, the wind picking up his layered brown hair and the edge of the big fur collar.
Upon realizing that he was being seen by his master, Muramasa opened his eyes and smiled.
Sky blue eyes met apple green ones with an understanding that went beyond words.
"What do you need to understand, Kouga?"
Kouga nodded, thinking. "How did you get here so quickly…I don't remember calling you."
Muramasa smiled. "When you're in distress…your heart calls out to me."
Kouga's eyebrow twitched. There was only so much kindness he could take -- he was a 3rd seat that had seen enough war to season his cast iron attitude thoroughly. "Tsch. You didn't have to come."
"I know where we will be going in two days."
Kouga lost any facade he planned on bringing up. How did Muramasa know that?
Muramasa continued, noting the shinigami's expression. "Yes, I know. We are going to Hueco Mundo for ten years. I know. However, we will have each other. I will take care of you. We will get stronger together."
Kouga scoffed. "I'm already strong. Don't you know that?"
His shoulders bunched together, the tension clearly visible. He watched Muramasa place his hand on his shoulder, carefully avoiding digging his long nails into the skin. "Is that not one of the first things I told you? Kouga, you are strong and beautiful. However, life is about incremental improvement, as you have heard so many times before."
Kouga tried to take the words in stride, but he was failing miserably. If his sword had no faith in him, wasn't he just like everyone else in the world? "I only have two days here and ten years stuck with you. Excuse me."
Muramasa watched him get up and walk away, unable to rise to his feet. The words were said out of frustration for the situation; the logical side of him knew that. However, the heart that was slowly opening up heard the words and sank back down, beginning to frost over.
He faded, a tiny blood-laced teardrop falling from his right eye before he disappeared.
AN: Had to introduce more conflict :) It is hurt/comfort you know :D In order to set up the rest of the plot, I realized that these two have to experience some pain. Kouga is still young and as much as he thinks he can handle everything on his own…he's about to learn that he really can't.
This is clearly AU, as I am now deviating hard from the events of ep 250 & 251. Some of those events will be seen in 'Pillars', but in order to extend the storyline to cover the rest of the series, I'm taking some serious artistic license.
I re-read the series so far, and I made a serious error that might be confusing: the unnamed shinigami that wields Saira? She's supposed to be a 7th seat, not a 12th seat. I'm going to go back and correct that. Yikes! (Sometimes these errors sneak in after I've uploaded. It's easier for some reason to see them after the fact. Sigh.) In addition, I'm trying to make apparent weaknesses in everything going on – but I had to set up a link to Saira somehow. This will not be an easy journey for them. I'm praying Saira doesn't come out looking like a Mary Sue, which is why I try to characterize her emotions. She is not ecstatic about helping Kouga, and that's going to be apparent as time passes.
I do like the 'broken' love triangle that's happening between Saira-Muramasa-Kouga. It reminds me of a friendship I had a long time ago between two people. Person A and Person B couldn't stand each other, but they loved me with everything they knew how. I'm inspired by that as I write this.
I'm having a lot of fun writing this as you can tell. Given where we left off in 'Sanctuary', 'Decadence' probably will not be as lemony as you might be used to reading. I haven't decided yet - what do you think? I probably won't have 'Decadence' out until I finish my client projects for the day. This is so a story completely for my pleasure, but I'm so surprised it's caught the attention of so many people.
Grateful for all of y'all, truly (yes, I say y'all. Don't stone me.)