Diagnosis is Far From Supernatural
Part IV
Dr. James Wilson was currently in a state of euphoria. Not because the pretty nurse he had earlier flirted with had dropped her number but because he had put his long delayed plan into action. Or a better term would be that he had begun his battle strategy.
Wilson gripped the plastic spork in his hand defensively as he glanced over the busy cafeteria. This time he would have a decent lunch. This time House wouldn't get to lay a tongue on his deli sandwich.
This time, he had prepared two lunches.
Wilson swelled with self pleasure as he sipped from his diet Coke. He was relishing the vanquish of House's stinky fingers when his best friend appeared practically out of nowhere.
Speak of the devil, Wilson thought, warily
"Hey, Mr. Wilson! Got room for three lunch mates today?"
Three?! Wilson looked behind House to see two remarkably handsome guys trailing behind. One was pushing the other guy in a wheelchair.
House plopped into a seat beside him. He used his cane to shove a plastic chair out of the way for the wheelchair bound guy.
Wilson tried to tune out the sudden swearing from the orderly who had been hit promptly in the shins by the offending chair.
"Are these relatives?" Wilson asked, rather amazed.
"Nope. Patients. Cuddy's got me doing extra clinic hours. So, I decided to drag my work along with me."
Wilson blinked. "You're treating patients to lunch?"
House's fingers wasted no time in grasping one of Wilson's deli sandwiches. Wilson's stomach began to grumble at the sight but he reminded it that he had two lunches.
"Of course, not. You are. This is Sam and Dean. They're two angtsy and good looking brothers. I'm sure you'll all get along terrific," House said, through a mouthful of smoked turkey.
Dean wiggled his fingers in welcome which then crawled subtly past Wilson's eye to grab his second unwrapped sandwich.
"Hi," Sam said, his attention focused on his brother.
Wilson's jaw dropped as he realized what all this might mean.
"House? Are you caring extraneously? Oh my god. I've got to get my cell out and capture this Kodak moment," Wilson exclaimed, searching his pocket.
"Ha ha. You're a bucket of giggles, Jimmy. I am not caring. I'm punishing," House said, dryly.
"I don't know about that. He did hold my hand earlier," Sam interjected.
Wilson raised his eyebrows. "This might be even cause for creating a Youtube video. House holding hands? "
House looked at Sam like he was crazy. "I did not!"
Sam was suddenly elated at getting to tease the doctor. "Did, too."
"Did not!"
"Did, too!"
"Did not!"
"Did too!"
"Hey, take it down a notch! My head is starting to pound not to mention you've both regressed to the lamest preschool game that existed," Dean interrupted, swallowing.
House pouted. "Ah, Dad. We were having so much fun!"
"Where's my other sandwich?" Wilson wondered aloud, his eyes following a trail of bread crumbs.
Dean thought it best to distract him from the sad truth. "So, you two are best buds or something?"
Wilson sighed. "Yes. I find it hard to believe sometimes myself."
Sam was eying House angrily. "How'd that happen?"
"We kind of just ran into each other. And we've been reasonably good companions since," Wilson said.
"Oh, James you made that sound so poetic like. Ran into each other? Hah! He's being much too kind. I blackmailed him. But that's Wilson. Ridiculously kind to the less beautiful," House said, gulping down Wilson's sandwich.
"Gosh, that was such a riveting tale of friendship," Dean said, draining Wilson's diet Coke.
"I'm sure you two have just as fascinating history if I cared to know," House said.
"There's no story. We're two brothers on a road trip, dude," Dean said, wiping his mouth with a napkin then using it on his nose.
"Right. Lame. Here's an idea! I'll make it up. Let's take a stab at Sammy here," House said, getting excited.
"Shouldn't you be giving me a diagnosis?" Sam said, dryly.
House waved the suggestion away. "You're not dying. So, judging by the length of your emoting hair I'd gander some significant other such as a friend or boyfriend has untimely bit the dust. You also most likely have parental issues. Let's take a big guess on Daddy."
Wilson saw surprise and the unmistakable crunch of pain roll across Sam's face. Ouch, House is on direct target in his guessing.
"Let's not make such grave assumptions, House. Obviously that was a little too far," Wilson said, looking apologetic at Sam.
"I'm guessing, Wilson. But, fine. If I can't pick on baby brother, I'll—"
"Okay, so who has got to pee? I gotta pee!"
Dean's outburst changed Sam from anger to flushing embarrassment at his brother's coarse announcement.
House ed his head. "Wilson. Will you take Dean here to the little boys' room?"
"He doesn't have to come. I was just joking. It's not like I need someone wiping my ass," Dean argued.
"Oh, please. Half the people here have already seen it."
"What?"
"I snapped a very nice photo and forwarded it to all my colleagues. I think Dr. Fitzgerald, that randy old man, has got new wallpaper on his cell."
"WHAT?!"
"Uh, Dean. Calm down," Sam said, worriedly.
"Calm down? You're ass is not on some dude's cell phone wallpaper!"
Dr. Wilson decided it was best to remove Dean before he starting beating up a certain cripple. He grabbed the handles to Dean's wheelchair and moved him away from the table.
"Hey, I'm not done with that ! I'm—"
While Sam was freaked out by this latest development he was more worried by being alone with House.
Sam's dire puppy dog expression was not lost on House.
It made it all the more fun.
Author's Note:
Ah, picking on Sam and Dean. It could become a new pastime, lol.
Anyways, wow! Been awhile since I've updated, huh? Hope you liked this chapter. I should be updating with the next part soon.
And don't worry too much about Sam's "illness." It's not gonna be anything life threatening, lol.