They Hobbits have now been away from Hobbitin for far longer then they were hoping to be. Frodo had been hoping to already be in Mordor by now. But here they were... still walking through the marshes... ick
Pippin: I'm Hungry!
Sam: Me too....
Frodo: *is already in a bad mood and the whinin isnt helping... GLARES* If you dont shut it i will get out the Duct tape again
Sam: *gives a questioning look* again? when was the first time?
Merry: OH SHUT UP!!!
Gollum: You Hobbitses are very annoying... getting on Gollum's nerveses. We just wants to get this done with so that wes can haves our boyfriend!!
Precious: Yes yes yes... a boyfriend. To kiss and hug, and yell at.... and cause Drama with. FUNFUNFUN!!
Sam: I'm tired. Can we sleep yet? we have been walking for hours!
Frodo:*Sigh* fine... i guess it is time to sleep... what do you think Merry?
Merry: Yeah... sleep sounds really nice. Even if it is on this rock shit... ugh... so tired.
Pippin and Sam unroll the bed rolls, and lay them out. Pippin then snuggles down into one and invites Merry to join him. Sam does the same and Frodo joins him.
Once all 4 Hobbits were asleep, which took hours because the boys still didnt really trust Gollum. Gollum got up and walked over to a small puddle of water to talk to Precious.
Gollum: These Darn Hobbitses are so stupids! All they does is conplains. The Fat one and the Short on mostly. We doesnt know how those other twos can handle it.
Precious: they makes us SICK!
Gollum: But i guesses that they loves eachother. I wish we hads someone to loves us. We used to have friends, but then we found the Musics!! and i founds YOU Precious!
Precious: Yes, and now we will leads the Hobbitses to their DEATHS! we will find the musics and then KILLS thems... we remembers what it feels like to kills a Hobbits dont we?
Gollum: Yes, we do.. To feel their little bodies rrrigling around under our hands, to hear them tryings to BREATH!, to see their eyeses close with the shadow of death. Wonderful stuffs!!
Precious is a bit taken a back but the way Gollum remembers death, but trys to forget about it... she is supposed to be the EVIL one.... so she changes the subjects.
Precious: do you remembers the musics?
Gollum:yes... what sweet musics it was too.
at this time Gollum descided to sing... a song... that she loved very much... in all reality it was a very good song... til she started to sing it.
Gollum: what if i wanted to break
Precious: laugh it all off in your face, what would you do?
Gollum: What if i fell to the floor? Couldnt take all this anymore. *Started to sway to the drums and guitar she heard in her mind... well what was left ofher mind*
Precious: What would you do, do, do?
Gollum: DONT BREAK ME DOWN! MARRY ME, MARRY ME! IM NOT FINISHED WITH YOU!
By this time Frodo and Merry had been woken up and were giggling at the fact that she was singing the wrong words... so the girls descided to join in... but not before they awoke the boys and put them to use. Frodo found two good sized rocks and gave them to Sam, who played the drums in Hobbitin... and Merry made Pippin sing tenor part with her.
Gollum and Frodo: What ifi i wanted to fight? Beg for the rest of my LIFE!
Merry and Precious: What would you do, do, do?
Frodo *Now alone becuase Gollum has heard them*: You say you wanted more. What are you waiting for? I not running from you!!
All Hobbits: COME BREAK ME DOWN!! BURY ME, BURY ME! I AM FINISHED WITH YOU!! LOOK AT MY EYES YOUR KILLING ME KILLING ME! ALL I WANTED WAS YOU!!!
Frodo: I tryed to be someone else, but nothing seemed to change. I know now this is who I REALLY AM INSIDE! Finally Found MY SELF fighting for a chance.. I know now THIS IS WHO I REALLY AM.
Merry and Pippin: background OO
All Hobbits: COME BREAK ME DOWN! BURY ME BURY ME! I AM FINISHED WITH YOU, YOU, YOU! look in my eyes! YOUR KILLING ME KILLING ME!! All I wanted was YOU!!!
Merry and Pippin: Harmony part Frodo: Come break me Down. Break me down. BREAK ME DOWN!!
THE HOBBITS BURST INTO CLAPPING!!
Sam: Wow guys! that sounded GREAT!!
Gollum: YOU RUINS IT!! YOU STUPID FAT HOBBITSES.
They next day, Gollum was in a wretched mood, having been defeated the night before in the little group-singing contest. The Hobbits, however, had thoroughly enjoyed themselves, and were now more energetic than they had been for quite a few days. Frodo was happy that they were almost to Mordor, and Pippin, having been refreshed through music, was bantering as usual with Sam. Merry was skipping alongside Gollum, happy to be at least playing the lead.
Merry: *looks at Gollum*Hey, Gollum, can I ask you something?
Gollum: *hisses nastily*
Precious: Why, yes, silly hobbitses, ask us anything you wants to.
Merry: Okay, then...Ummmm....Why do you want a boyfriend so badly? I mean...it's not that big of a deal, is it?
Precious: Stupid hobbit! Of course it is! Wes needs someones to love us, too!!!
Merry: Well, then what kind of person are you looking for?
Precious: *looks back at Pippin and Sam, then back to Merry*
Merry: Oh, no, dear, you don't want someone like THEM. They're just a couple of stupid little children.
Precious: But theys loves you and Frodo.
Merry: You know what it's about, Gollum?
Precious: What?
Merry: Personality. Pip's personality matches mine well enough, just like Sam's matches Frodo's. Find someone who you can love for even the stupid jokes that they tell.
Precious: Pippin tells lots of stupid jokes to yous others Hobbitses.
Merry: And he's the funny one. That's the sad thing.
Later on that night, as it was growing dark, Frodo felt a familiar fear and looked up at the road ahead of them to see that they were only about a mile or so away from the Black Gate of Mordor. She clutched onto Sam's hand fearfully, and he wrapped a relaxing arm about her shoulders. Pippin finally caught up with Merry, who had managed to keep Precious entertained all day by talking about what Precious MIGHT find entertaining in a man..
Pippin: *taps Merry lightly on the shoulder*
Merry: Yes, Pip?
Pippin: You mean you're not scared at all, Merry? I am.
Merry: I am, too, Pip, but we're not there yet, so let's not get too afraid.
All four hobbits looked up at the large Black Gate, then Frodo buried her face into Sam's chest and Pippin took Merry's hand in his to keep his own little hobbit-mate at ease..
Frodo: Here again....Mordor.
The next morning the Black Gates looked even scarier then they had the night before.
Frodo: Ugh... those things freak me out.... *looking the gates up and down*
Gollum: Ok... wes broughts you Hobbitses Here... now we wants our boyfriend!!
Merry: Well we dont have one for you right now! what do you think we can do? We're no wizards!
Sam: But we Know one! His Name is Gandolf!
Pippin: *PUNCHES SAM* ugh why did you tell her that?
Precious: Then bring hims here!
Frodo: we cant. Listen... come with us and we will find you your boyfriend. Deal?
Gollum: we guesses
Frodo: Come on then, lets get this over with.
Frodo (being the loudest... though it was a close call with the boys) walkes up to the gate and yells: WHERE IS SARON AND SARUMON?! I WISH TO SPEAK WITH THEM!.... *quiet... no responce* WHERE ARE THEY!?!? IF YOU DONT OPEN THIS GATE THEM WE WILL JUST CLIMB IT!... *she hoped the fear didnt show in her voice* FINE THEN... HERE WE COME!... WE GUNNA CLIMB THE WALL.. *takes about 10 steps, then looks around... then takes about 15 more steps*
Then... The gates opened. The boys just about Wet their pants... until they saw what was inside.
.......
Frodo and Merry couldnt help but laugh. The Orcs where dressed in real colthing.... not the scraps of metal they normally had on... and they... well they were singing.
Orcs: Say your sorry that face of an angle comes out when you need it to. As I pace back and forth all this time 'cause I honestly believed in you. Holding On, The Days Drag On. Stupid Girls I should've known, I should've known. That I'm not a Princess. This ain't a farytale. I'm not the One you'll sweep off her feet, lead her up the stairwell. This ain't Hollywood. This is a small town. I was a dreamer before you went and let me down. Now its too late for you and your white horse, to come around.
Pippin and Sam were also laughing so hard that they were rolling on the ground.
Frodo: *between giggles* I think the evil is gone... haha.... they are singin Taylor Swift... HAHA
The Orcs are finally done with their song and have come to a hault right in front of the Hobbits and Gollum.
The Leader... it was obvious because he had been the only one that was singing well: What does a bunch of Hobbits want with the Lord? He is very busy...
Frodo: I wish to speak with him.... but our buisness is our own.
Leader: Geesh no need to get snappy with me... crazy fucking Hobbit. Follow me...
The Hobbits follow the Orcs... for some CRAZY reason... and find something very surprising.... Mordor is no longer a crazy waste land... it looks like the Shire.
Merry: Talk about a make over.
Pippin: Totally
Sam: WHAT THE HELL!! Look! That's my house!!
Sure enough... just a few feet from them was what looked like Sam's house, but as if the Orcs wanted to show him that he was wrong a family walked to the front window and were looking at the Hobbits.
Frodo: This is WEIRD... Oh my GANDOLF! LOOK! *She pointed to where Bagg end would have been in this Shire wanna-be... and there it was.... Isengard* No way
The Orcs could be seen gawking at the Hobbits as if they were the ugly creatures... through their windows.
Leader; Here we are.*He stopped right in front of Isengard and walked away after telling them to stay put... as if they would stray... NOT* Im sorry but the Lord says that the only way to see him is to agree to a sing off...
The Hobbits exchanged looks... the Merry nodded
Frodo: Deal *Put her hand out... nervously, waiting for the sealing shake... when it came it feel as if the Orc was going to rip her arm off... not that it would have been hard for him to do... *
Leader: Sauron will see you now.