AN: I am basing this on the manga and the Japanese drama!! I do not own any of these characters and am writing just for my pure love of the drama! This is my first fic so please review!

I started crossing the line
Cause you were never there
No where to turn,
No one to help,
It's almost like I don't even know myself
Now I have to choose
I don't know what to do - [loves me not - t.a.t.u]

"We can go to my house, it's not like anyone will be there to bother us.."

'At the time I didn't want to admit it but I was so scared.. He was true to his word when he said that no one would be there, but to enter his bedroom once more made me instantly nervous. In order to try to calm myself down I tried my best to think of Tsukasa.'

Makino and Rui were just sitting on his bed, the windows were closed and the door was locked. It wasn't before long that he began to remove his coat and his shoes.

"Ah um, I KNOW! Why don't we start off with watching TV?" As Makino reached for the remote, but she had dropped it several times before managing to turn the TV on. Right away as she turned it on she accidently switched it to the hentai channels where they saw a major case of S&M. She yelped out in shock and turned it off as quick as she could before laughing out loud nervously. This caused Rui to chuckle as well which caused Makino to feel less nervous.

"Relax I'm not a rapist you know, I was just trying to get comfortable since the heat is finally kicking in." Rui looked at her with a serious expression.

"We don't have to do this you know." She threw back a blank expression.

"Isn't there anything you want to say?" She laughed nervously.

"A wise man once told me that it doesn't matter whether it should or shouldn't be like this. No one really knows what's right. It's time to break myself..After all you only live once." Makino smiled with a new found strength inside herself, remembering Tsukasa's encouraging words.

"You're an important person to me, so let's see this as a way of saying good bye, and letting our feelings go to rest. Let's be just good friends from here on out, okay? Maybe this'll prove to us that this is just an childish infatuation that we have for each other.. it can't be love." She grinned, tears that poured out quickly disappeared after Rui walked up to her and wiped away her tears, only to catch her by surprise as he kissed her so suddenly. As she looked at him as he pulled away, realizing how flush his face was and how warm he felt all of a sudden. He brought a fist up to his mouth and cleared his throat loudly, breaking the spell that she felt herself get caught into.

"Sorry." Makino looked at him, and through her sad eyes she smiled.

"You know back when Tsukasa lost his memory and when he proposed, I felt like I was being selfish and unfair towards you. I knew that there was a chance that you would feel like I was taking advantage of your feelings, but it helped me so much knowing that someone was there supporting me, so thanks to you once again Rui.." With that she kissed Rui with the same amount of intensity that she knew he deserved, clothes being discarded all the while.

As the kiss grew deeper, for a moment she saw his true emotions flicker for a split moment in his eyes. She didn't want to allow herself to think about that and pressed herself into his arms, kissing him firmly to his surprise. He returned her kiss, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her close. They fell back on the bed, his lips carefully moving down her neck. As his hand traveled down her body, he could feel her body tense, and her eyes closed tightly, and her expression was pained.

"It's okay."

His hands were free to work his way up towards her right breast where he settled his mouth onto it. Her stomach fluttered as without warning he began to invade her most sensitive area with his dominant hand causing her to gasp out loud. Both of her hands made their way in his hair as he moved his way up, and groaned into her neck, even then it didn't take much to see that he was holding back true feelings in which he never really expressed.

He removed his fingers from his 'assault' as he positioned himself in between her legs. As he pulled her body closer to his she placed a hand on his chest. The tears freely finding its path below into the darkness she never thought would be true.

"Makino, it's my first time too, so don't be afraid, I'm right here with you." Rui was gentle, inside and out, this different side was refreshing and promising. However this was not what was tearing her apart on the inside.

'Tsukasa please forgive me for not waiting, especially because he is not the one I love..' he gripped her waist and pushed himself halfway into her. This new feeling made her sick to her stomach as she felt a new feeling of pain that she had never felt before. Both began to breath heavier and more irregular as they both entered a new world they had never explored.

"I'm sorry, it should only hurt at first." Rui completely pushed all the way through without warning. This made her cringe and cry out loud in pain. It made Makino remember the time she was almost raped and how Rui had been the one to save her.

Breathing heavily Rui looked at all her changing expressions, and he moved slowly despite the fact that as a man he wanted more. When her breathing started to slow down, he gave her a simple kiss to apologize and decided that it would be better to end it for his own sake. He began to go in faster, using her waist for support to push himself in deeper and harder. Makino, whether she loved him or not, could not control her body's impulses and began to tremble and cry out beneath him. With the tightening of her walls, he grunted as he felt her release, thrusting until he pulled completely out of the warmness her body had created, and turned in another direction for his own release. Tired and sweating, they stayed there in his bed for some time catching their breath.

Their eyes met and both of them smiled, memories of the past openly released among them. She was too sore to move, but she took a deep breath and gracefully rose from the bed, grabbing and adjusting her clothes and trying to smooth out her jacket. While she was dressing herself, she heard a door closing in the distance as she left into the open doorway breathing in the fresh air.

The sky was dark, it was already late, yet Makino didn't mind it. She stood there for some time thinking, just thinking about everything. She felt that she owed Rui this moment and was glad that they didn't treat each other like lovers. Knowing what she did was wrong, she had no regrets as she was glad to have shared such an experience with him, as bitter as the situation really was. It would be a complete lie to say that she felt nothing, but was glad to see that even though he was her first, he would always be there as something more, her biggest support.