Legal Disclaimer: As always, Mass Effect, as well as all characters, locations, and dialogue borrowed from the game, are property of BioWare.
2/24/10 – Chapter Revision: Just a few alterations and added a little more detail.
A little over two years ago:
"This is Commander Shepard speaking."
The strong voice sounds throughout the ship, catching the attention of the entire crew, human and alien alike.
"We have our orders: Find Saren before he finds the conduit. I won't lie to you, crew. This mission isn't going to be easy. For too long our species has stood apart from the others. Now it's time to step up and do our part for the rest of the galaxy! Time to show them what humans are made of! Our enemy knows we're coming. When we go into the traverse, Saren's followers will be waiting for us. But we'll be ready for them too."
A pause as the commander considers her next words carefully.
"Humanity needs to do this, not just for our own sake, but for the sake of every other species in Citadel Space. Saren must be stopped, and I promise you all… we will stop him!"
As the commander speaks, Garrus feels a rush of pride in becoming a part of her crew. He is sure he's made the right decision.
Horizon:
"No! Don't let them get away!"
The mechanic from the bunker runs past the team as they watch helplessly as the Collector ship lifts off, shouting at them to do something, anything, to stop it. Knowing that there is nothing else that could be done, tell him so is still one of the most difficult things she's ever had to do. Knowing that they had saved half of the colony does nothing to lessen the feeling that they'd failed. "I didn't want it to end this way. I did what I could." The words sound hollow even to her ears.
Garrus, as always there to support her, speaks up, "More than most, Shepard," while glaring at the man who so easily blamed her, yet had refused to try to help get the guns online sooner. "If it wasn't for her, you'd all be on that ship!"
Recognition flashes across the human's face. "Shepard?" he repeats incredulously. "Wait, I know that name. Sure, I remember you. You're some type of big Alliance hero." This last said with a disbelieving sneer. Garrus steps forward, only to be stopped by Shepard's hand on his chest and a quick shake of her head, silently telling him to let it go.
"Commander Shepard," the voice comes from around the crates before the man himself appears. "Captain of the Normandy. The first human Spectre. Savior of the Citadel." Kaidan looks at the mechanic as he gestures to the commander. "You're in the presence of a legend, Delan. And a ghost."
Delan's venomous response to Kaidan's presence, and subsequent exit from the area was only vaguely registered by the team. Kaidan slowly moved closer, as though not sure of what he was seeing. Finally, he reaches out and pulls Shepard into his arms, burying is face against her neck. "I thought you were dead, Shepard," he says hoarsely. "We all did." He holds her for a few long moments before releasing her and taking a step back.
Shepard, ever one to cut right to the heart of the matter, "It's been a long time. You don't sound happy to see me. Something bothering you Kaidan?"
The anger smoldering in his eyes sparked to life as he snapped back, "That's all you have to say? You show up after two years and ask me if something's bothering me?" His normally soft voice takes on a harsh quality as he continues bitterly, not looking at her, "I thought we had something, Shepard. Something real. I – I loved you. Thinking you were dead tore me apart… how could you put me through that? Why didn't you try to contact me? Why didn't you let me know you were alive?"
"I'm sorry, Kaidan," Shepard says sincerely, "I was clinically dead. It took two years for Cerberus to bring me back, and I've only been awake for a few weeks. I tried to ask Anderson how to find—"
He cuts her off, disbelief evident on his face, as he backs away from her, "You're with Cerberus now." He looks look at the turian standing at the commander's shoulder, "Garrus, too? I can't believe the reports were right."
Garrus snarls, "Reports? You mean you already knew? And you didn't tell us?" The enraged words, so full of the pain he had felt for two years thinking she was dead, sound as if they've been torn from his throat.
Shepard tries to redirect the conversation, "Our colonies are disappearing. The Alliance turned its back on them." Despite wishing otherwise, she knows it's true. "Cerberus is the only group willing to do something about it. I can't stand by and let them keep stealing our colonists, and if the Alliance won't act, I have to accept help from wherever I can get it."
"You can't really believe that! We both know what Cerberus is like. You know what they're capable of." He steps closer, anger pouring off of him. "I wanted to believe the rumors that you were alive, but I never expected anything like this. You turned your back on everything we believed in. You betrayed the Alliance." His voice lowers almost to a whisper, "You betrayed me.
Commander Shepard holds her ground as she responds, trying to make him understand, "Kaidan, you know me. You know I'd only do this for the right reason. You saw it yourself. The Collectors are targeting human colonies; they're working with the Reapers!"
"I want to believe you, Shepard. But I don't trust Cerberus. They could be using the threat of a Reaper to manipulate you. What if they're behind it? What if they're working with the Collectors?" His expression shows nothing but smoldering anger and disbelief.
"Damn it, Kaidan!" The outburst from Garrus making both of them jump, "You're so focused on Cerberus that you're ignoring the real threat! You're letting how you feel about their history get in the way of the facts!"
He responds to Garrus' words, but directs it toward the commander. "Maybe. Or maybe you feel like you owe Cerberus because they saved you. Maybe you're the one who's not thinking straight." He turns to walk away, pausing a few steps away, "You've changed but I still know where my loyalties lie. I'm an Alliance soldier. Always will be. I've got to report back to the Citadel. They can decide if they believe your story or not."
Her hand goes out, reaching toward him as he walks away. She seems to be fighting with herself for a moment before finally saying, "So long, Kaidan."
He turns back one last time, eyes sad now, rather than angry. "Goodbye, Shepard. And be careful."
She radios the Normandy as soon as he's out of sight, "Joker – send the shuttle to pick us up. I've had enough of this colony."
While they wait for the shuttle to arrive, she turns to look around. Garrus studies her face worriedly as her eyes meet his, yet all he sees in her eyes is resignation, acceptance, and was that… relief?
* * *
On the Normandy: Captain's Quarters
She sits on the couch in her sleeping area, looking at the framed picture in her lap. Seeing Kaidan had been good, despite the bitter words that had been exchanged. It had helped her to somewhat come to terms with the amount of time that passed since the destruction of the Normandy; it had helped her to find the answers to some questions. She stands up and walks back to the desk that holds her personal terminal. Elissa carefully sets the picture back in its accustomed place and gazes at it for a moment, before gently laying it face down and walking toward the elevator.
Time for the next mission.